Make Hank Paulson Buy Your Crap, Too!

The Federal Reserve Bank and the U.S. Treasury just launched this great new website where you can force the government to buyyourworthless old garbage, too! Somebody wants Paulson to buy this "used douche bag," which is so gross. Wonkette has submitted a request for $1.4 billion dollars to cover an old HP notebook (no hard drive), some restaurant receipts we forgot to write off last year, a scratched-to-hell copy of "Wowee Zowee" that we already replaced with the box-set version, and five old copies ofThe Economistwe found in the side pocket of an old laptop bag. America is BACK. [ Buy My Shitpile, Henry! ]