Here’s Ron Paul calling in to Fox News’ Neil Cavuto to talk about the financial crisis, TELLING HIM THE SECRETS THAT ONLY HE KNOWS, until the phone line gets fuzzy and the call is lost. The Paultards, as you may have guessed, do not consider this a coincidence. Please read all of the YouTube comments, like this one: “Sounds just like the fuzz that came on when the BBC was announcing LIVE that the Solomon Building WTC7 had collapsed yet it was standing in the background (window behind the reporter). A full 20 minutes before it fell. Suddenly the feed becomes FUZZY and they LOSE the feed.” [YouTube]
Fox News Cuts Off Dokter Ron Paul For His SECRETS!
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Actually that was audio recording of the Rapture. Unfortunately, Ron Paul was the only one selected by God to ascend to Heaven which is why the rest of us are still here.
I always get that fuzz when I’m on my cell phone and I turn on my vibrating butt plug.
That was just Neil farting and then sniffing in deeply….
[re=103623]Kev-O-Tron[/re]:
God haz Blimp?
So, Ron, you’re on a T-Mobile plan, too? I feel you pain.
[re=103623]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: Sarah Palin is going to be PISSED. Her church told her she is one of the chosen come the Rapture.
But it’s so tough to get a good reception up in that blimp.
The langoliers got him before he could reveal the secret: gold.
I think he was kidnapped in a joint operation by the Trilateral Commission and the Bilderberg Group in an attempt to leverage Paul-mania into their megalomaniacal global schemes. You can’t suppress the gold standard! Not anymore.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
[re=103623]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: I’ll bet Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins are pissed!
Those 9/22 truthers are never going to go away, are they?
Ron must have been driving through a dead zone….Texas.
I’m glad the 9-11 Truthers could set aside watching cable reruns of the Breakfast Club while eating their fanboy weights in redvines and popcorn to comment on how Ron Paul’s now a victim of the Illuminati. Or whatever.
[re=103629]Doglessliberal[/re]: Speaking of which – did you see the piece on Olberman last Friday that mentioned that Palin’s church believes that millions and millions of good Christians will travel to Alaska once the Rapture comes and wait out the tribulations there? That’s right – God has a special plan for Alaska once the End Times come around…
[re=103623]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: Dammit. We were supposed to be at the staging area outside Wasilla already? I never even got the chance to pack a bag or taunt my satanic neighbors on the way out! Booo. This rapture sucks.
[re=103639]Strictly for the Tardcore[/re]: this whole election, starting waaaaay back with the primaries, really has underlined how many pathetic losers there are out there who are just desperate for someone to tell them what to do.
[re=103636]The Rev. Yevot[/re]: Hey, now that you mention it, I haven’t seen either of them since the Rapture two days ago. And as irrelevant as they are these days, Jesus H. Christ himself could have come down on a chariot of fire pulled by a choir of seraphim archangels, and nobody would have noticed.
[re=103640]Joey Ratz[/re]: and she is ready because she’ll be drillin’ and rapin’ ANWR to stock up the fuel for all those chosen ones. Halleluah! (you know, God put the oil there for a reason. Everything here on Earth was put here by God for the chosen to exploit.)
Poor Paultards — the feed always gets cut right before the TRUTH is about to come out. How do they manage to go through life always knowing that something’s being hidden from them?
Although if they can figure out the secret code in the previous two sentences, then maybe they’ll have a shot at the deep, secret knowledge.
[re=103642]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: I want a T-shirt with that line on it now: “This rapture sucks.”
I’d probably be mistaken for a Jeebus freak, but for this half-hour, I’m willing to take that chance.
How did Paultards manage to get ahold of such an excess of teh awesomez? It’s not even fair.
“We are loosing Ron Paul here!”
[re=103640]Joey Ratz[/re]: Hey, I heard about that and it struck me as odd in the following way: at least one of McCain’s other VP shortlisters (Mittens) believes (if he’s worthy of his magic underwear, that is) that UTAH is the place where everyone will come to wait out the tribulations. Someone should e-mail Jim Lehrer and request that he try to get McCain to clarify his position, once and for all, on which shitty, mountainous western state he believes we should all make for when Barry ascends and the tribulation begins.
[re=103647]Strictly for the Tardcore[/re]: Imagine wearing it to church. Good times!
I’m just happy that my “Proud Vagina Americans 4 Obama” T-shirt arrived. I’ll wear that one until it falls apart.
True story: I got flamed by Paultards on Gawker once for posting about 9/11 truthers and how they’re all NUTZ, and not in a “HUGE SALE ON TRUCK NUTZ!!!!” way, but in a “clinically insane” way.
Anyway, one of them mentioned that the BBC “foretold” or whatever the attack, and I was all like, “The only thing that the BBC foretold is that I will obsessively watch ‘Top Gear’ and ‘How Clean Is Your House?’ over and over and over until I die.”
[re=103658]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: seriously jealous of you for that shirt.
What a cute lil video. I say we Op. TruckNutz! that ish.
[re=103662]loquaciousmusic[/re]: I <3 Top Gear. The Hamster is my secret lovah.
[re=103658]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: Wow, now that you mention it, that shirt would be the only thing that gets me back into a church shy of a wedding or funeral.
It was the words “Not true” and “Destruction of the Dollar”.. Shhh, that bleepblorp thing at Fox is intelligent…
[re=103644]Strictly for the Tardcore[/re]: I think he would have to have a skateboarding dog or waterskiing squirrel with him to get noticed by the “human interest”-hungry US media.
this just in:
fox news has just published its review of the first obama vs. mccain debate (next friday):
mccain was powerful in his presentation giving strong arguments for his vision of change while obama appeared to be a deer caught in the headlights. palin was lap dancing joe biden in the first row.
[re=103640]Joey Ratz[/re]: And, leading this pack of believers to their “refuge” in
Alaska…Jerry Lewis in a clown suit.
[re=103640]Joey Ratz[/re]: travel to Alaska once the Rapture comes and wait out the tribulations
Going to Palin’s Alaska…to WAIT OUT the tribulations?? I call oxymoron.
And Ron Paul’s bars stayed flat.
[re=103684]Maus[/re]: THIS JUST IN: Reports are still fuzzy, and we don’t have all the facts… but it appears that two people, either Bob Villa and Bill Gates or the authors of the runaway best-selling Left Behind series, were taken into God’s Palace Eternal by an adorable cat on roller skates. More as it develops.
I’m guessing Ike was also created by the Bilderberg-Illuminati-CFR weather machine to try and kill off some of RPs supporters in his district but then it went horribly awry and just ended up killing some black people, which works out sorta fine. Cell phone signals are being used by Them to control your brain. Fight the system, use tin cans on a string.
Note: I voted for RP and I hate this Truther shit.
[re=103713]WWJGD[/re]: Oh, wow, I was wrong. I was under the impression that they vetted you as a Truther before they let you vote for Paul. My apologies, I didn’t mean to lump you in.
[re=103713]WWJGD[/re]: I’ll go even further than add that during my time working with some local RP groups, I did not encounter a single 9/11 truther. Not one. Which made all the crap I saw on TV and online so much more annoying.
“I’m guessing Ike was also created by the Bilderberg-Illuminati-CFR weather machine …”
Shhh. Only level 5 and above are supposed to know about that.
I just replied to my own post. Goddamn internetz. Above guys were right, this rapture sucks. I’m gonna hit the Mercedes dealership.
[re=103690]njdon[/re]: Don’t forget these mandatory post debate talking points:
“More than the economy, more than the War on Terror, or any other “issue”, the real question here is this: Why can’t Barracka Hoosane Obama seem to CONNECT with downscale low information undereducated old white dipshits? Why can’t this overachieving educated black man seem to win the support of crusty old racist shitheads who are alternately confounded and enraged by the prospect of a black president?”
Are you sure Paul wasn’t tranmitting from the blimp??? Don’t they have to keep it pointed at the satellite or something??
[re=103654]The Rev. Yevot[/re]: And it gets better! Accoring to Jon Krakauer’s Under the banner of heaven (the authoritative source on all things Mormon), the Mormons decided that Jackson County, MO was the location of the original Garden of Eden. If this is true, it makes Kansas City the spiritual hub of the world… Who would have thunk?
How many times have I wished they’d done that to RP before this day? GO NSA!!!
So, who is responsible? The Aliens or the Rothschild’s?
[re=103640]Joey Ratz[/re]: Has Snowbilly’s church started preparing for the rapture? If so in what way? Do they have tents ready to welcome their Southerly Vistors, and special food (especially for the Mexicans as they eat Mexican, not American or Canadian Food).
Or have they just stocked up on guns and helecopters which I suspect is their true agenda?
[re=103637]Godless Liberal[/re]: 9/22 Truthers? Oh my god, what do you know and who told you? How can you explained why you stayed out of all Marriot Hotels in Islamibad for the day?
Uh, I don’t know about Ron Paul or other crazy white guys, but the BBC did report that WTC 7 collapsed in air before it did. They don’t deny it.
I guess people knew it was so damaged…?
Wonkette what happened? The comments haz a no funny anymoh (or wit). Bring back teh lulz pliz. Bring back ANgryBlackGuy 2!
[re=104056]Borat[/re]: Who knows? Personally, I strongly suspect that canned goods and automatic weaponry figure prominently in their Divine Plan.
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