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WINE SNOBS

San Fran-Psychos Despise Nice Wine Called ‘Palin’

Snobs.So there was this wine bar once, in San Francisco, that served Palin Syrah, a Chilean wine with notes of white pepper and madrone. It was the Yield Wine Bar’s best seller, in fact! And then John McCain crushed Palin Syrah’s hopes and dreams by nominating that gal Sarah for VP, and now San Francisco hippies won’t order the wine anymore because they hate America.

Sales of Palin Syrah have plummeted as diners prefer to feast on bile and the tears of children made homeless by our nation’s foreclosure crisis.

Oh and, per the label on this bottle of hated wine, a “Palin” is a wooden ball encased in wool and leather. So obviously, duh.

‘Palin Syrah’ Wine Drops in Sales After Sarah Palin Veep Pick [Serious Eats]


11:01 AM on Mon September 22 2008
By Sara K. Smith
4546 Views

  1. Botswana Meat Commission FC says at 11:04 am, September 22nd, 2008

    The kind of people who hang out in wine bars aren’t hippies. They’re worse than hippies.

  2. Cogito Ergo Bibo says at 11:04 am, September 22nd, 2008

    a “Palin” is a wooden ball encased in wool and leather.

    I always knew it was only a matter of time until the ball-gag made an appearance with her. Although, to be fair, I did presume it would be on Todd, not her.

  3. ManchuCandidate says at 11:04 am, September 22nd, 2008

    What about sales of McCain’s Fren…uh Freedom Fries?

    Stupid Hippies.

  4. HedonismBot says at 11:06 am, September 22nd, 2008

    This article makes me want to go buy a six pack of Billy Beer.

  5. Strictly for the Tardcore says at 11:08 am, September 22nd, 2008

    A wooden ball encased in wool and leather… so, wait, a “Palin” is a primitive, indeed, the archetypal Truck Nut?

  6. friendlynerd says at 11:09 am, September 22nd, 2008

    It probably tastes like censorship and bigotry. Or Beast Ice.

  7. Sales of Mooseburgers at Wendy’s have seen a similar drop in sales.

  8. Drinking wine is elitist, so I’m not surprised. We bitturs get by on cough syrup and fermented lemonade.

  9. Sales of Palin Syrah have plummeted as diners prefer to feast on bile and the tears of children made homeless by our nation’s foreclosure crisis.

    So they want the same great taste of Palin Syrah for a lower price? Typical.

  10. Moose bouquet…with hints of…teen pregnancy…and a sense that this wine isn’t qualified to be paired with an aged steak.

    http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

  11. Send it all to Florida if you want to sell it. That shit would disappear faster than an Obama sign in trailer park.

  12. Doglessliberal says at 11:16 am, September 22nd, 2008

    A fairly one-note bouquet, overwhelmingly loaded with the scent of hypocrisy, with a short, harsh finish tainted by a note of self-righteousness.

  13. That’s just like when sales of “Arrogant Bastard Ale” dropped after Bush’s ‘04 re-election.

  14. Strictly for the Tardcore says at 11:17 am, September 22nd, 2008

    Miller: In the immortal words of Xander Crews, “Dude, nice.”

  15. Love the pic from the movie “Sideways”. It was hilarious. The really weird one…I think his name is Hayden-Church is in another funny one with Dennis Quaid “Smartpeople”…very funny as well.

    But anyways….A recently published article I found this morning on McCain’s market-based healthcare plan and a video of him expressing his stand on deregulation along with a bonus! He mentions the bridge to nowhere!!!!

  16. AngryBlakGuy says at 11:19 am, September 22nd, 2008

    …since she has a “Chilean” wine named after her does that make her an expert on S.America?

  17. Delusional, myopic assholes. This is the kind of article that makes a person nod along sincerely when Limbaugh goes off on a rant.

  18. natteringnaybob says at 11:27 am, September 22nd, 2008

    Pass the Mooscatel.

  19. Hunter Gathers says at 11:27 am, September 22nd, 2008

    This is the reason I stopped drinking. That and the whole diseased liver thing. Only fine smokeables for yours truly. Is thier anyway Hanky P. could give me a bailout to help me deal with my ‘addiction’?

  20. Cogito Ergo Bibo: Palin is Tod’s name, btw.

  21. Swingvoter says at 11:29 am, September 22nd, 2008

    Wine Snobs are an important Swing Voter Demographic in the 2008 Presidential Election. But will Wine Snobs make the Top 50?

    Do you know the Top 50 Swing Voters in 2008?

    #50 - Hockey Moms
    #49 - Godless Hollywood Liberals
    #48 - Baristas
    #47 - People with STDs
    #46 - ???

    http://swingvoters.wordpress.com

  22. JadedDIssonance says at 11:31 am, September 22nd, 2008

    MrAgro: I think I missed your meaning here. Maybe your metaphorical wires got crossed or something.

    Palin Wine should come in a box, right? I don’t think Sideways analogies work particularly well. Palin’s a chilean merlot and barry’s a french pinot noir? It doesn’t extend very well.

  23. Botswana Meat Commission FC says at 11:33 am, September 22nd, 2008

    Every time a story like this bubbles up, Jeanne Moos is there to catch it!

    I swear, that woman has to be the laziest “journalist” in the universe. I’d guess she gets at least half of her “stories” from wonkette.

  24. So she’s named after some medieval sex toy?

  25. After Biden cuts her nutz off, it’s going to be “Palin Whine”.
    You read it here first.
    You’ll probably forget that.
    So it goes.

  26. MrAgro: But then you went back on your meds, right? RIGHT???!

  27. It has a DD, think Todd, as in Pussy Whippedd.

  28. magic titty says at 11:40 am, September 22nd, 2008

    Two things that suck: Sarah Palin and wine bars. Hopefully both are ruined in the coming months.

    It’s a win-win.

  29. So what? Chile isn’t a country, its a mexican soup. And if it were a country, we should only meet with them if they share our same values and do not stand in the way of american agression. Frekin’ Spanish.

  30. Score one for the attention-deficit, tv-educated, sound-byte saturated morons of Anytown, USA. Brought to you this week from San Francisco, CA, and sponsored by Shit, Inc. “Eat shit, America! It’s good for ya.”

  31. magic titty says at 11:43 am, September 22nd, 2008

    Swingvoter: Can you stop with these? Thanks.

  32. JadedDIssonance says at 11:43 am, September 22nd, 2008

    ^—snob. ergo:
    natteringnaybob: haha.

  33. I’ll bet those hippies just ‘taste’ the wine and spit it out. Losers. I only do that if they wine isn’t fair-trade and organic.

  34. Either one will give you a nasty hangover. Kinda like being pummeled by a motorcycle helmet.

  35. JadedDIssonance says at 11:45 am, September 22nd, 2008

    Swingvoter: I agree. I appreciate the fact that you are tailoring your spam to fit with the nascent discussions, but we would prefer it if you actually contributed something.

  36. user-of-owls says at 11:46 am, September 22nd, 2008

    I hear Palin Syrah got an 85 rating from Wine Speculator.

  37. Swingvoter: Are you some kind of new virus-bot, trawling the e-waves for unsuspecting, innocent blogs on which to unleash your non sequitur potted meat?

  38. mookworthjwilson says at 11:51 am, September 22nd, 2008

    user-of-owls: …in its special “Best Wines to Use as an Enema” issue.

  39. freakishlystrong says at 11:52 am, September 22nd, 2008

    I wonder if drinking this also makes you talk like an extra in Fargo?

  40. Put it in a box, it will sell.

  41. user-of-owls says at 11:54 am, September 22nd, 2008

    Monkey: innocent?!

  42. Ha! I just got it! San Fran-cisco/San Fran-psycho. It’s a play on words!

  43. BobLoblawLawBlog says at 11:55 am, September 22nd, 2008

    friendlynerd: How dare you knock the Beast.
    I would bet Palin tastes more like Aqua Net and lies.

  44. user-of-owls says at 11:57 am, September 22nd, 2008

    mookworthjwilson: Actually, I think it was the “Complexity: Not Just For Dangerous Derivative Schemes Anymore!” issue.

  45. NoWireHangers says at 11:59 am, September 22nd, 2008

    I’ll just keep drinkin’ my Cindy McCains, it’s just a quart of gin with a fistful of oxycontin. Always hits the spot.

  46. Oscar Folsom Cleveland says at 12:22 pm, September 22nd, 2008

    That Syrah Plain has a note of moose shit, and hints of caribou and oil slick floating on the tongue, followed by a distinct meth nose and touches of Russia, birth defects and piggy. It goes down best over a bowl of crow and nutz, or a trooper manwich with mayo and bridge fries. Yum! (And it sells well at $3,567.34, not bad for Alaskan check recipients or Wall Street mid-growth investors.

    http://www.cafepress.com/nakedemperor38

  47. I could use a good Cindy McCain right now…

  48. A modest bouquet, with hints of oppressive literary attacks and baby wipes…shouldn’t there be a giant lip-stick on the label?

  49. lawrenceofthedesert says at 1:07 pm, September 22nd, 2008

    Certainly we hippies could not be expected to drink Ripple and Boone’s Farm forever. Drinking was never a big hippie thing anyway, which always eroded my hippie cred back in the day. Now there are second generation hippies, a very fine development; antique hippies like me have gotten sober, and others continue with elaborate processes of denial regarding whether they ever were hippies, what that meant, whether you can be a true hippie if you need substances, and how being an actuarial and driving a Beamer a copout doth not make. Due respect for The Bard, but a hippie cannot protest too much.

  50. bitchincamaro says at 1:19 pm, September 22nd, 2008

    If I recall correctly, there was buttsecks in that movie.

  51. Oscar Folsom Cleveland says at 1:20 pm, September 22nd, 2008

    The Yield Wine Bar sommelier is pretty pissed….he poured sixteen bottles at the Syrah Plain table and just got a lousy two dollar tip. His name is Jason and he asks that everybody call the McSame campaign headquarters down there in Frisco and complain.

    Jason’s a cutie, too: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_7r69TrIecR8/SM6-MdY1GWI/AAAAAAAA17M/9hXLwFh_63Q/s1600-h/2Ink.jpg

  52. Smoke Filled Roommate says at 1:23 pm, September 22nd, 2008

    BobLoblawLawBlog: Tastes like ice (with a hint of puck) and a whiff of ‘adoption center lobby’. Lingering tones of Wasilla bathtub and a hint of National Outrage comprise its finish.

  53. Oscar Folsom Cleveland: Sir/Maam, I salute you.

  54. Oscar Folsom Cleveland: No arugula topnote?

  55. KenjiFinster says at 3:14 pm, September 22nd, 2008

    Oh, sweet irony… To think that “Palín” (yes, with an accented I) is actually a game played by the Mapuche tribe in southern Chile, which is very similar to grass hockey.

    No wonder why she’s a “Hockey Mom”… is even in her name!

  56. natteringnaybob says at 3:38 pm, September 22nd, 2008

    KenjiFinster: I’ll do you one better. Sarah (pronounced “Sarah”) is the queen (appointed, not elected) of a tribe of goat worshippers from a small planet in the Hall and Oates nebula.

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