Shoulda Picked Mittens, Shoulda Picked Mittens. Just Saying!

by Jim Newell

Here’s a chart from FiveThirtyEight, the damnable, smartypants, know-it-all site that… oh hell, we read the motherfucker compulsively. This chart shows the net favorability scores of the four candidates based on some recent polls, and as you can see, people are rapidly realizing that Sarah Palin is a rather unsavory character — her numbers last week were about 10-15 points higher. So much for the happy times, Sarah; it is the happy times we will miss. So is it too late for Walnuts to shake this gal and throw Mitt “Willard” Romney in there? One can only dream…

…of the moments, moments like these, that would ensure Republican landslide in November, and all for the price of a Romney:

PLEASE COME BACK. It’s the little things we treasure so much about Mitt Romney. For example: he put this clip on his YouTube channel. Guy had no idea that it was humiliating in the extreme!

(OK confession: we remembered this clip today for no reason in particular and had to find any way to shape a post around it, mostly for our own amusement. But we gave you that nice chart thing too so don’t complain.)

State of the Race: Is McCain in Trouble? [FiveThirtyEight]
Gov. Romney on Ronald Reagan [YouTube]

Related video

Hola wonkerados.

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StrangelyBrown September 18, 2008 at 6:15 pm

In other news, it looks like Sarah has another 600-million-dllar bridge to nowhere (i.e., Wasilla) that’s about to bite her in the ass now, too:

njdon September 18, 2008 at 6:17 pm

since mccain already has bank manipulating experience, he should be favored. why rob banks? “thats where the money is”, willie sutton.

azw88 September 18, 2008 at 6:18 pm

Ronald Reagan would say, “mother, (referring to nancy) who the fuck are these people, and what the hell is this airplane doing in my living room?”

Dave J. September 18, 2008 at 6:21 pm

The line I used the day McCain picked Palin was: Romney was the strong pick that would have looked weak, and Palin is the weak pick that looks strong. Think about how much we’d all be stressing out about the Biden v. Romney debates, in which Mitt would just talk nonstop about his executive experience and background as the owner of a business. As it is, Palin…not all that much.

Meanwhile, Biden is just sitting on the side smiling like the cat that ate the canary, racking up his +20 approval ratings because people are like “who? Biden? Ok, yeah, I like that dude, whatever.”

Vanity Smurf September 18, 2008 at 6:22 pm

Don’t you fret, Mittens will be back in four years for his turn at the top. He and Bible Spice will duke it out in the GOP primaries. Jesus-freaks vs. Cultists 2012!

Whiskeybaby September 18, 2008 at 6:23 pm

God, I miss Mittens.

Canmon (the Inadequate) September 18, 2008 at 6:23 pm

Ronald Reagan would’ve picked Romney.

freakishlystrong September 18, 2008 at 6:23 pm

Man, Ronald Reagan was a dick!

Vanity Smurf September 18, 2008 at 6:24 pm

[re=101061]Dave J.[/re]: Bible Spice has business experience! She was 20% owner of a car wash in Anchorage until the state shut it down last year.

Rodney Badger September 18, 2008 at 6:25 pm

[re=101057]StrangelyBrown[/re]: You would think with all the blogs and the 24 hour news channels there would be room to cover all of this shit, but there just isn’t. I’m still waiting for McCain’s plan to invade Spain to break into the news cycle, but I just don’t think there is room in the media for all the fucking crazy spewing forth from the McCain campaign.

uncletravelingmatt September 18, 2008 at 6:25 pm

Polls are sexist. The only accurate measure of popularity is Chris Matthews’ perception of a presidential candidate’s muskiness.

Vanity Smurf September 18, 2008 at 6:26 pm

[re=101065]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: Ronald Reagan could read a teleprompter.

1974 (again) September 18, 2008 at 6:27 pm

We need more debates with people sitting at futuristic elementary school desks in front of model airplanes. Also, Mitt is SO ORANGE in that clip. Perhaps he should talk to Palin about appropriate tanning technique. Whatever he’s doing ain’t workin’.

Monsieur Grumpe September 18, 2008 at 6:27 pm

Oh yeah Mittens. I had lunch at Denney’s with Ronald Reagan yesterday. So there.

american mutt September 18, 2008 at 6:28 pm

[re=101065]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: Ronald Reagan would’ve beat the shit out of Bush.

columnv September 18, 2008 at 6:30 pm

Mitt Romney would have gladly licked Ronald Regan’s shorn ball-sac.

Viva la Cynthia September 18, 2008 at 6:32 pm

What? Is America sobering up?

tunamelt September 18, 2008 at 6:33 pm

God, I love chart porn.

The Hispanic Buddy Holly September 18, 2008 at 6:33 pm

538 is way too fucking addicting.

And, man, if only we could elect Zombie Ronald Reagan…I mean right now we only have a chance to elect Zombie John McCain.

Hutch September 18, 2008 at 6:36 pm

I just saw Sarah talk about “my administration” in a recent epeech, John. Just sayin’.

Lascauxcaveman September 18, 2008 at 6:37 pm

[re=101058]StrangelyBrown[/re]: Ah, screw those belugas anyway. Can get my SUV from Anchorage to Wasilla on the back of a beluga?

Yeah, I didn’t think so.

AngryBlakGuy September 18, 2008 at 6:38 pm

…Mitten’s must have been on the Wigi Board before he came on stage that night.

ManchuCandidate September 18, 2008 at 6:38 pm

Oh Mittens, ever hear of a place called Beirut, Lebanon? Some 300 Marines died to a truck bomber and suddenly Ronnie pulled them out of there pretty fast. Ronnie knew when he had to cut his losses.

Gopherit v2.0 September 18, 2008 at 6:41 pm

[re=101065]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: Reagan never would have picked McCain. Nancy would have thrown the china at him.

Supernatural_Delegate September 18, 2008 at 6:42 pm

[re=101061]Dave J.[/re]:

What’s hilarious is that every repub I’ve talked to seems to think Plain is going to kill Biden in the debates because she made a very rehearsed speech and talked about lipstick on pit bulls.

Biden will pummel her if he can make sure to call her out when she slips up. I think the VP debates may kill Palin’s credibility once and for all.

Tawmn September 18, 2008 at 6:46 pm

what was it Barry said about wrapping up two day old fish?

VP Mooseburger September 18, 2008 at 6:46 pm

Hey Mitt, Ronald Reagan called and he wants his hair back.

vpmooseburger. com

uncletravelingmatt September 18, 2008 at 6:47 pm

[re=101084]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Ronnie new when to stage a diversionary war, too. The totally, spectacularly necessary invasion of Grenada started two days later.

Tawmn September 18, 2008 at 6:49 pm

Let’s just think about Catherine Zita Jones for a second… Soooo much better now.

grevillea September 18, 2008 at 6:50 pm

Where’s that clip of Huckabee asking What Would Ronald McDonald Do?

InsidiousTuna September 18, 2008 at 6:50 pm

“Governor Palin, what do you think Ronald Reagan would have to say about your candidacy?”

“In what respect, Charlie?”

hockeymom September 18, 2008 at 6:51 pm

I feel like a dork asking, but this is generally a friendly site so here it goes.
Can someone explain to me how to read the “tipping point” map on 538?
Everytime I look at that map I get depressed, but I don’t know if my depression is real, or just a reaction to all the ugly yellow and red.

HuskyMescan September 18, 2008 at 6:53 pm

Back to frozen crystal meth tundra they go. Now levi can just fuckin chill, i guess.

InsidiousTuna September 18, 2008 at 6:54 pm

[re=101100]hockeymom[/re]: “Friendly site”? FUCK YOU!

Actually, ha ha, that map confuses me too. Anyone wanna explain it?

HomoPolitico September 18, 2008 at 6:58 pm

What was that you were saying about Ronnie? Oh yeah, Mittens, do go on…

The firing of the air traffic controllers, winnable nuclear war, recallable nuclear missiles, trees that cause pollution, Elliott Abrams lying to Congress, ketchup as a vegetable, colluding with Guatemalan thugs, pardons for F.B.I. lawbreakers, voodoo economics, budget deficits, toasts to Ferdinand Marcos, public housing cutbacks, redbaiting the nuclear freeze movement, James Watt, Getting cozy with Argentine fascist generals, tax credits for segregated schools, disinformation campaigns, “homeless by choice,” Manuel Noriega, falling wages, the HUD scandal, air raids on Libya, “constructive engagement” with apartheid South Africa, United States Information Agency blacklists of liberal speakers, attacks on OSHA and workplace safety, the invasion of Grenada, assassination manuals, Nancy’s astrologer, Drug tests, lie detector tests, Fawn Hall, female appointees (8 percent), mining harbors, the S&L scandal, 239 dead U.S. troops in Beirut, Al Haig “in control,” silence on AIDS, food-stamp reductions, Debategate, White House shredding, Jonas Savimbi, tax cuts for the rich, “mistakes were made.”, Michael Deaver’s conviction for influence peddling, Lyn Nofziger’s conviction for influence peddling, Caspar Weinberger’s five-count indictment, Ed Meese (“You don’t have many suspects who are innocent of a crime”), Donald Regan (women don’t “understand throw-weights”), education cuts, massacres in El Salvador, “The bombing begins in five minutes,” $640 Pentagon toilet seats, African- American judicial appointees (1.9 percent), Reader’s Digest, C.I.A.-sponsored car-bombing in Lebanon (more than eighty civilians killed), 200 officials accused of wrongdoing, William Casey, Iran/contra, “Facts are stupid things,” three-by-five cards, the MX missile, Bitburg, S.D.I., Robert Bork, naps, Teflon.

bago September 18, 2008 at 6:59 pm

Every time Sarah says the word “blink”, replace it with the word “think”, and then do the only rational thing you can. Drink.

Canuckledragger September 18, 2008 at 7:03 pm

Yeah, ‘Murica liked Juan when he hooked with Sarah Plain and did his Captain & Tennille schtick.

But when he morphed into Sid[ney] Vicious, ‘Murica lost interest.


The Hispanic Buddy Holly September 18, 2008 at 7:03 pm

[re=101100]hockeymom[/re]: Here’s what 538′s Nate Silver says about the Tipping Point States:

“A Tipping-Point state is now defined as a states that would be most likely to alter the outcome of a close election if it were decided differently. More specifically, a Tipping-Point State is among the closest states –- taken alone or in combination –- that would give the losing candidate at least 270 electoral votes if transferred to him from the winner’s column, with no wasted electoral votes.”

Tipping Point v2.0

Monsieur Grumpe September 18, 2008 at 7:05 pm

I believe the tipping chart has somethng to do with cows or


bitchincamaro September 18, 2008 at 7:06 pm

Reminds me of the ancient yenta I found exiting a building on the uppper west side. Her T-shirt read: “I never thought I’d miss Nixon”; when I complimnted her fashion sense, she asked me if I was the guy making all the construction noise in the building. Gotta love NY.

wildeoats September 18, 2008 at 7:08 pm

[re=101109]HomoPolitico[/re]: Would you please do the McCain/Palin version? I think you might have more to work with, and there’s still a month and a half before the election.

btwbfdimho September 18, 2008 at 7:10 pm

The Pan-Am candidate is in deep compost and the Wasilla-Bible-Church Lay-dy is in big pitt-bull shit. Look at the numbers while ignoring the averages. Their lower scores are zero and -4, way below the good guys, who perform evenly among the polls. They are lost, unless K.Rove and all that jazz come up with something big in the next weeks.

Monsieur Grumpe September 18, 2008 at 7:13 pm

I believe that is the best Reagan biography ever. Well done.

njdon September 18, 2008 at 7:15 pm

[re=101109]HomoPolitico[/re]: yeah,but alzheimers is a terrible handicap. think of how much more he could have accomplished.

WABishop September 18, 2008 at 7:18 pm

Nancy (smiling, not moving lips): …we’re doing the best we can…
Ronald (twinkle in his eye, reassuring smile): We’re doing the best we can!

hockeymom September 18, 2008 at 7:20 pm

[re=101115]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: [re=101114]The Hispanic Buddy Holly[/re]:
Thank you! The explanation clears things up.

I went the site and was transported back in time to a college stats class. I got an A/B ONLY because I went out with the TA. I’m so ashamed.
Nah, not really.

sati demise September 18, 2008 at 7:26 pm

[re=101109]HomoPolitico[/re]: Wow, great list there HomoPolitico.

Can only add one thing, since I lived in NYC at the time-
Kicking all the crazy people out of the mental hospitals so they could forage on the street for themselves.
Cruel, just devastatingly cruel man.

sati demise September 18, 2008 at 7:29 pm

[re=101128]hockeymom[/re]: Sarah? Is that you? Was that at Idaho State?

DoctorCulturae September 18, 2008 at 7:29 pm

Ronald Reagan wouldn’t say anything because he is dead, therefore stfu.

[re=101109]HomoPolitico[/re]: Ah, the good ole days.

Actually Reagan would say, “Mommy, I think it’s time to change my diappy.”

HomoPolitico September 18, 2008 at 7:30 pm

I cannot take credit. That list originally appeared in The Nation and is written by David Corn.

I am working on a Walnuts list, tho.

XOMuffintop September 18, 2008 at 7:37 pm

Wow…who would have thought there would be buyer’s remorse for the pinheaded, incompotent, corrupt Tina Fey clone that was a weak attempt to pander to the Hilltards. Epic win, Grampa McOldgrowth.

smellyal8r September 18, 2008 at 7:50 pm

I’m starting to feel much, much better. Biden can’t be mean to the nice crazy lady, but he can give her enough rope to hang herself on national TV, then it’ll be pretty much a month of bad economic news and “who will go vote” subtexts. It’ll be close, real close, but BHO has a much better shot than Sen. Whathisname who isn’t Ted Kennedy from Taxacheussets.

Dib the Legal Alien September 18, 2008 at 9:10 pm

Bible Spice!!! Cool. Perfect mate for Old Spice.

whiteasasheet September 18, 2008 at 9:12 pm

[re=101109]HomoPolitico[/re]: Thanks. I had almost forgotten.

Weeping Jesus September 18, 2008 at 9:52 pm

The MSM needs to have a look at how the McCain campaign has effectively co-opted the governor’s office in Alaska. They’re now paying for the highest priced legal pricks they can get a hold of and Todd Palin today told the legislative investigators to shove their subpoena where the Midnight Sun don’t shine. She might be clinically depraved. Seriously.

hockeymom September 18, 2008 at 10:03 pm

[re=101143]sati demise[/re]:
nah, I’m not Sarah.

Sarah is an EXPERT on maps because she had to use one once, in Alaska.

Reefpilot September 18, 2008 at 11:18 pm

Who let the dogs out, whoo whoo

Sometimes I think I’d look kind of cool if I encouraged the gray above my temples by dying full wings in my hair, to look like Romney, or Paulie from the Sopranos. We have similar hair styles (me and Romney, not Paulie, unfortunately). But then I remember the who let the dogs out incident.

Guppy06 September 18, 2008 at 11:47 pm

[re=101061]Dave J.[/re]: “Strong debater?” We’re talking about the American voters here. Sarah Palin will win the debate by simply wearing a revealing neckline.

BobLoblawLawBlog September 19, 2008 at 12:09 am

[re=101144]DoctorCulturae[/re]: And “Do I like Tapioca?”

Keram2 September 19, 2008 at 12:14 am

Anyone ever notice that 7th time Mittens says “Ronald Reagan” (excluding a couple stutters) he actually says “Lonald Reagan.” Is he Japanese or something?

“Lonald Reagan would say “LIP MY STOCKING!”

mookworthjwilson September 19, 2008 at 12:30 am

I was 11 years old when Ronnie left office…even at that age, I knew he was a ass-pony…

sailingthestyx September 19, 2008 at 1:14 am

[re=101101]HuskyMescan[/re]: and try to get that damn tattoo off of his ring finger…

jasonelias September 19, 2008 at 1:19 am

Sarah Palin isn’t likable, she’s not qualified plus women don’t like her. It’s only going to get worse…

kirkaracha September 19, 2008 at 1:31 am

firing of the air traffic controllers

Followed by renaming National Airport after him. I bet the new air traffic controllers fucking love that name!

Bitch's_Brew September 19, 2008 at 2:37 am

What is that fucking plane in the background?

Weeping Jesus September 19, 2008 at 4:01 am

[re=101270]Guppy06[/re]: I assume you mean something like this:

Servo September 19, 2008 at 6:52 am

Bitch’s_Brew: That’s the old Air Farce One, a Boeing 707. Same type as seen on the movie “Airplane!”, but with the newer, quieter engines. I think it was the same crew, too.

Deepthroat September 19, 2008 at 1:27 pm

…”Ronald Reagan would’ve banned all black jelly beans…”

Deepthroat September 19, 2008 at 1:32 pm

Hey, whatever happened to Ronaldpagan?

TexasCowGirl September 19, 2008 at 3:01 pm

At this point WALNUTS! and Vlad the ImPalin will be lucky to hold onto Alaska and Arizona.

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