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Shoulda Picked Mittens, Shoulda Picked Mittens. Just Saying!

Here’s a chart from FiveThirtyEight, the damnable, smartypants, know-it-all site that… oh hell, we read the motherfucker compulsively. This chart shows the net favorability scores of the four candidates based on some recent polls, and as you can see, people are rapidly realizing that Sarah Palin is a rather unsavory character — her numbers last week were about 10-15 points higher. So much for the happy times, Sarah; it is the happy times we will miss. So is it too late for Walnuts to shake this gal and throw Mitt “Willard” Romney in there? One can only dream…

…of the moments, moments like these, that would ensure Republican landslide in November, and all for the price of a Romney:

PLEASE COME BACK. It’s the little things we treasure so much about Mitt Romney. For example: he put this clip on his YouTube channel. Guy had no idea that it was humiliating in the extreme!

(OK confession: we remembered this clip today for no reason in particular and had to find any way to shape a post around it, mostly for our own amusement. But we gave you that nice chart thing too so don’t complain.)

State of the Race: Is McCain in Trouble? [FiveThirtyEight]
Gov. Romney on Ronald Reagan [YouTube]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell
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70 comments

  1. njdon

    since mccain already has bank manipulating experience, he should be favored. why rob banks? “thats where the money is”, willie sutton.

  2. azw88

    Ronald Reagan would say, “mother, (referring to nancy) who the fuck are these people, and what the hell is this airplane doing in my living room?”

  3. Dave J.

    The line I used the day McCain picked Palin was: Romney was the strong pick that would have looked weak, and Palin is the weak pick that looks strong. Think about how much we’d all be stressing out about the Biden v. Romney debates, in which Mitt would just talk nonstop about his executive experience and background as the owner of a business. As it is, Palin…not all that much.

    Meanwhile, Biden is just sitting on the side smiling like the cat that ate the canary, racking up his +20 approval ratings because people are like “who? Biden? Ok, yeah, I like that dude, whatever.”

  4. Vanity Smurf

    Don’t you fret, Mittens will be back in four years for his turn at the top. He and Bible Spice will duke it out in the GOP primaries. Jesus-freaks vs. Cultists 2012!

  5. Vanity Smurf

    [re=101061]Dave J.[/re]: Bible Spice has business experience! She was 20% owner of a car wash in Anchorage until the state shut it down last year.

  6. Rodney Badger

    [re=101057]StrangelyBrown[/re]: You would think with all the blogs and the 24 hour news channels there would be room to cover all of this shit, but there just isn’t. I’m still waiting for McCain’s plan to invade Spain to break into the news cycle, but I just don’t think there is room in the media for all the fucking crazy spewing forth from the McCain campaign.

  7. uncletravelingmatt

    Polls are sexist. The only accurate measure of popularity is Chris Matthews’ perception of a presidential candidate’s muskiness.

  8. 1974 (again)

    We need more debates with people sitting at futuristic elementary school desks in front of model airplanes. Also, Mitt is SO ORANGE in that clip. Perhaps he should talk to Palin about appropriate tanning technique. Whatever he’s doing ain’t workin’.

  9. The Hispanic Buddy Holly

    538 is way too fucking addicting.

    And, man, if only we could elect Zombie Ronald Reagan…I mean right now we only have a chance to elect Zombie John McCain.

  10. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=101058]StrangelyBrown[/re]: Ah, screw those belugas anyway. Can get my SUV from Anchorage to Wasilla on the back of a beluga?

    Yeah, I didn’t think so.

  11. ManchuCandidate

    Oh Mittens, ever hear of a place called Beirut, Lebanon? Some 300 Marines died to a truck bomber and suddenly Ronnie pulled them out of there pretty fast. Ronnie knew when he had to cut his losses.

  12. Supernatural_Delegate

    [re=101061]Dave J.[/re]:

    What’s hilarious is that every repub I’ve talked to seems to think Plain is going to kill Biden in the debates because she made a very rehearsed speech and talked about lipstick on pit bulls.

    Biden will pummel her if he can make sure to call her out when she slips up. I think the VP debates may kill Palin’s credibility once and for all.

  13. uncletravelingmatt

    [re=101084]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Ronnie new when to stage a diversionary war, too. The totally, spectacularly necessary invasion of Grenada started two days later.

  14. InsidiousTuna

    “Governor Palin, what do you think Ronald Reagan would have to say about your candidacy?”

    “In what respect, Charlie?”

  15. hockeymom

    I feel like a dork asking, but this is generally a friendly site so here it goes.
    Can someone explain to me how to read the “tipping point” map on 538?
    Everytime I look at that map I get depressed, but I don’t know if my depression is real, or just a reaction to all the ugly yellow and red.

  16. InsidiousTuna

    [re=101100]hockeymom[/re]: “Friendly site”? FUCK YOU!

    Actually, ha ha, that map confuses me too. Anyone wanna explain it?

  17. HomoPolitico

    What was that you were saying about Ronnie? Oh yeah, Mittens, do go on…

    The firing of the air traffic controllers, winnable nuclear war, recallable nuclear missiles, trees that cause pollution, Elliott Abrams lying to Congress, ketchup as a vegetable, colluding with Guatemalan thugs, pardons for F.B.I. lawbreakers, voodoo economics, budget deficits, toasts to Ferdinand Marcos, public housing cutbacks, redbaiting the nuclear freeze movement, James Watt, Getting cozy with Argentine fascist generals, tax credits for segregated schools, disinformation campaigns, “homeless by choice,” Manuel Noriega, falling wages, the HUD scandal, air raids on Libya, “constructive engagement” with apartheid South Africa, United States Information Agency blacklists of liberal speakers, attacks on OSHA and workplace safety, the invasion of Grenada, assassination manuals, Nancy’s astrologer, Drug tests, lie detector tests, Fawn Hall, female appointees (8 percent), mining harbors, the S&L scandal, 239 dead U.S. troops in Beirut, Al Haig “in control,” silence on AIDS, food-stamp reductions, Debategate, White House shredding, Jonas Savimbi, tax cuts for the rich, “mistakes were made.”, Michael Deaver’s conviction for influence peddling, Lyn Nofziger’s conviction for influence peddling, Caspar Weinberger’s five-count indictment, Ed Meese (“You don’t have many suspects who are innocent of a crime”), Donald Regan (women don’t “understand throw-weights”), education cuts, massacres in El Salvador, “The bombing begins in five minutes,” $640 Pentagon toilet seats, African- American judicial appointees (1.9 percent), Reader’s Digest, C.I.A.-sponsored car-bombing in Lebanon (more than eighty civilians killed), 200 officials accused of wrongdoing, William Casey, Iran/contra, “Facts are stupid things,” three-by-five cards, the MX missile, Bitburg, S.D.I., Robert Bork, naps, Teflon.

  18. bago

    Every time Sarah says the word “blink”, replace it with the word “think”, and then do the only rational thing you can. Drink.

  19. Canuckledragger

    Yeah, ‘Murica liked Juan when he hooked with Sarah Plain and did his Captain & Tennille schtick.

    But when he morphed into Sid[ney] Vicious, ‘Murica lost interest.

    Punk!

  20. The Hispanic Buddy Holly

    [re=101100]hockeymom[/re]: Here’s what 538′s Nate Silver says about the Tipping Point States:

    “A Tipping-Point state is now defined as a states that would be most likely to alter the outcome of a close election if it were decided differently. More specifically, a Tipping-Point State is among the closest states –- taken alone or in combination –- that would give the losing candidate at least 270 electoral votes if transferred to him from the winner’s column, with no wasted electoral votes.”

    Tipping Point v2.0

  21. bitchincamaro

    Reminds me of the ancient yenta I found exiting a building on the uppper west side. Her T-shirt read: “I never thought I’d miss Nixon”; when I complimnted her fashion sense, she asked me if I was the guy making all the construction noise in the building. Gotta love NY.

  22. wildeoats

    [re=101109]HomoPolitico[/re]: Would you please do the McCain/Palin version? I think you might have more to work with, and there’s still a month and a half before the election.

  23. btwbfdimho

    The Pan-Am candidate is in deep compost and the Wasilla-Bible-Church Lay-dy is in big pitt-bull shit. Look at the numbers while ignoring the averages. Their lower scores are zero and -4, way below the good guys, who perform evenly among the polls. They are lost, unless K.Rove and all that jazz come up with something big in the next weeks.

  24. njdon

    [re=101109]HomoPolitico[/re]: yeah,but alzheimers is a terrible handicap. think of how much more he could have accomplished.

  25. WABishop

    [re=101109]HomoPolitico[/re]:
    Nancy (smiling, not moving lips): …we’re doing the best we can…
    Ronald (twinkle in his eye, reassuring smile): We’re doing the best we can!

  26. hockeymom

    [re=101115]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: [re=101114]The Hispanic Buddy Holly[/re]:
    Thank you! The explanation clears things up.

    I went the site and was transported back in time to a college stats class. I got an A/B ONLY because I went out with the TA. I’m so ashamed.
    Nah, not really.

  27. sati demise

    [re=101109]HomoPolitico[/re]: Wow, great list there HomoPolitico.

    Can only add one thing, since I lived in NYC at the time-
    Kicking all the crazy people out of the mental hospitals so they could forage on the street for themselves.
    Cruel, just devastatingly cruel man.

  28. DoctorCulturae

    Ronald Reagan wouldn’t say anything because he is dead, therefore stfu.

    [re=101109]HomoPolitico[/re]: Ah, the good ole days.

    Actually Reagan would say, “Mommy, I think it’s time to change my diappy.”

  29. HomoPolitico

    I cannot take credit. That list originally appeared in The Nation and is written by David Corn.

    I am working on a Walnuts list, tho.

  30. XOMuffintop

    Wow…who would have thought there would be buyer’s remorse for the pinheaded, incompotent, corrupt Tina Fey clone that was a weak attempt to pander to the Hilltards. Epic win, Grampa McOldgrowth.

  31. smellyal8r

    I’m starting to feel much, much better. Biden can’t be mean to the nice crazy lady, but he can give her enough rope to hang herself on national TV, then it’ll be pretty much a month of bad economic news and “who will go vote” subtexts. It’ll be close, real close, but BHO has a much better shot than Sen. Whathisname who isn’t Ted Kennedy from Taxacheussets.

  32. Weeping Jesus

    The MSM needs to have a look at how the McCain campaign has effectively co-opted the governor’s office in Alaska. They’re now paying for the highest priced legal pricks they can get a hold of and Todd Palin today told the legislative investigators to shove their subpoena where the Midnight Sun don’t shine. She might be clinically depraved. Seriously.

  33. hockeymom

    [re=101143]sati demise[/re]:
    nah, I’m not Sarah.

    Sarah is an EXPERT on maps because she had to use one once, in Alaska.

  34. Reefpilot

    Who let the dogs out, whoo whoo

    Sometimes I think I’d look kind of cool if I encouraged the gray above my temples by dying full wings in my hair, to look like Romney, or Paulie from the Sopranos. We have similar hair styles (me and Romney, not Paulie, unfortunately). But then I remember the who let the dogs out incident.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDwwAaVmnf4

  35. Guppy06

    [re=101061]Dave J.[/re]: “Strong debater?” We’re talking about the American voters here. Sarah Palin will win the debate by simply wearing a revealing neckline.

  36. Keram2

    Anyone ever notice that 7th time Mittens says “Ronald Reagan” (excluding a couple stutters) he actually says “Lonald Reagan.” Is he Japanese or something?

    “Lonald Reagan would say “LIP MY STOCKING!”

  37. jasonelias

    Sarah Palin isn’t likable, she’s not qualified plus women don’t like her. It’s only going to get worse…

  38. kirkaracha

    firing of the air traffic controllers

    Followed by renaming National Airport after him. I bet the new air traffic controllers fucking love that name!

  39. Servo

    Bitch’s_Brew: That’s the old Air Farce One, a Boeing 707. Same type as seen on the movie “Airplane!”, but with the newer, quieter engines. I think it was the same crew, too.

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