Casting aspersions.Remember hilarious football-holding horse-riding racist dildo George Allen? He was supposed to be the “new Ronald Reagan,” but the Daily Kos or whatever videotaped him calling a fellow of Indian ancestry some kind of African monkey. Next thing you know, people found out George Allen was ashamed to be a secret Jew, and he maybe stuffed the heads of deer into black people’s mailboxes (?), and it was all hilarious and wonderful. Anyway, George Allen’s back! And he will convince, er, black people to vote for the Republicans!

Ah, 2006! America was a simpler place, back then. We still had our own hopes and dreams and didn’t need some fancy smart dude for all that. And we had marvelous lunatics running for office, or re-election. George Allen was running to keep his Senate seat. And then he lost, to an equally psychotic character named Jim Webb — but Jim Webb had become a Democrat, so it was change we could believe in.

Anyway, now George Allen and his prop football have been dragged out of the self-storage place near Mount Vernon, with a new and glorious mission: Convince black folks to vote Republican! He will be perfect in this new role … the role of a lifetime.

Makin' friends.
Virginia GOP Planning Rally To Reach Out To Minorities — Starring George Allen! [TPM]

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  • columnv

    He has two first names.

  • XOMuffintop

    In other news, Willie Nelson will be spearheading a new anti-weed campaign.

  • Tawmn

    It’s all okay… HEY! I love O.J.! He sure could run! I used to listen to James Brown back in the day.

  • facehead

    Could Jon Stewart’s job be any easier right now?

  • grendel

    “Some of my best friends are black!”

  • greatgooglymoogly

    Oh, if only he would get out there with Mittens and really “let the dogs out, yo!” Maybe in blackface, too. The GOP has so many, many good ideas. Let’s vote for ’em!

  • Cogito Ergo Bibo

    No. WAY. I thought Virginia’s long Macaca nightmare was over. Somebody steal his football! Or at least shove it in his mouth. One of those.

  • JadedDIssonance

    So, does your hair curl naturally like that? Mine’s always so frizzy and nappy in the mornings…

  • Sweetfoot
  • PrairiePossum

    Was the KKK busy?

  • whatever_dc

    and next the repugnants will revive adolf hitler to try to cater to the jewish vote!

  • EnBuenOra

    Why were people upset? I thought the traditional storage locations for spare deer heads was in black folks’ mailboxes.

  • TGY

    Cue William Tell Overture: The Masked Honkey rides again!

    “O hai! Vote Republecan, plzkthx. Bai!”

  • MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend

    Actually I think I read somewhere they are targeting hispanics NOT us negroes. But still….Jesus Christ on a crutch.

    [re=100941]facehead[/re]: No. It really could’t.

  • TGY

    [re=100948]PrairiePossum[/re]: The Alaskan GOP was too busy selling moose meat to the cannibals.

  • freakishlystrong

    Jeebus! Look at dem’ bitchez, look at those nailz, bastid is already dead!

  • JadedDIssonance

    [re=100947]Sweetfoot[/re]: Alan Keyes!~!~11!

  • StrangelyBrown

    We are all Macacas now.

  • sarcasticusername

    well i guess since jesse helms went and died, he was the next best man for the job.

  • TGY

    [re=100941]facehead[/re]: He’s had a sweet eight years.

  • Hamster

    Why don’t they just Micheal Richards to do some “stand-up” to warm up the crowd before Allen speaks.

  • JadedDIssonance

    They’ll have Sensenbrenner working the Rio Grande Latino vote next.

  • Tawmn

    [re=100941]facehead[/re]: Actually I’ll bet it’s hard, what with all the option anxiety and all.

  • S.Luggo

    Why does George have that woman in an armlock? Doesn’t the 13th Amendment apply to Virginia? Is it for this that Reagan invaded Grenada and then lost his mind? The shame.

  • Baconcat

    [re=100941]facehead[/re]: “In what respect, Charlie?”

  • fuzznuts

    [re=100943]grendel[/re]: The real republican says:
    “some of the best blacks are my friends”

  • keepinitrealyo

    Republicans are so color-blind, they don’t know what “racist” means!

    Also “macaca” and “uppity.”

  • TGY

    [re=100965]JadedDIssonance[/re]: Lou Dobbs should become a Republican just for this PR job.

  • WadISay

    The meetings will open with a pledge to the Confederate flag.

  • peaceofcrap

    [re=100928]columnv[/re]: Two first names, like John Pope.

  • american mutt

    I like how they couldn’t get a minority to do this outreach.

  • JadedDIssonance

    Wait, does this mean that the GOP is conceding VA?

  • sarcasticusername

    lol you guys just had to find a pic of him eating watermelon, that probably is his idea of relating to minorities.

  • magic titty

    I guess with Helms dead, they had to find the next best option.

  • Chicken Smack

    “Scimeca said that the ‘macaca’ event was just a smear campaign by the Democrats. ‘Anyone had to go on Wikipedia to be offended by it. And you know how people can mess with Wikipedia.'”

    You think he’s trying to misdirect people away from the other 99.999765% of the internet, by name-dropping Wikipedia?

  • fuzznuts

    I guess no one ever warned him that it really can rub off on you.

  • EnBuenOra

    I guess no one remembers, but in Reagan & Bush Sr’s time, the Republican Party’s Heritage Groups Council in the 1980s had actual Nazis and WWII fascists leading it:


    “As late as 1988, there were a number of genuine pro-Nazi, anti-Semitic types from Eastern and Central Europe in the Republican Party’s National Republican Heritage Groups Council. Several of these worthies were leaders of the George Bush presidential campaign’s ethnic outreach arm, the Coalition of American Nationalities, despite the fact that their checkered past was not a big secret. One of them, Laszlo Pasztor (or Pastor) had served in the pro-Nazi Hungarian government’s embassy in Berlin during the war. This had been revealed in a 1971 page-one story in the Washington post. When this past was again brought up in September 1988, the Republicans were obliged to dump Pasztor and four others of his ilk from Bush’s campaign.”


    The fact that you could find “four others” who were actual WWII Nazis, that’s kind of impressive.

    So, yeah, none of this is EVER surprising to me.

  • facehead

    I got it. With Barack Obama, the Dems have pretty much sealed up the “black people who get along with other black people” demographic — the repubs are aiming for the self-hating black demographic, so using George Allen makes perfect sense.

  • JadedDIssonance

    [re=100977]TGY[/re]: Well, he isn’t exactly giving “Unaffiliated Independent Populists” a good name now is he? Wendell Berry would be ashamed.

  • tunamelt

    [re=100988]EnBuenOra[/re]: So they weren’t all chilling in South America?

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    Where’s David Duke? I’m sure he can scare some black people to vote Republican? Will George have his noose & Confederate flag that he had displayed in his office with him? The colored folk especially like looking at those sentimental knick knacks from the past.

  • LittlePhatGuise

    Macaca eatin’ watermelon? Wow. Lemme guess…they was servin’ chicken?

  • sati demise

    [re=100991]facehead[/re]: self-hating gays, too, in the Log Cabin Republicans.

    Any guess what they will call the self hating black demographic?

  • 4tehlulz

    Was Michael Steele too busy at a porn shoot to do this?

  • VP Mooseburger

    I love this man. I want him to come up to Alaska and ride snowmobiles with us.

    And, I’d introduce him to Alaksa’s Negro. But, we already have his vote!

    vpmooseburger dot com

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=101010]4tehlulz[/re]: And where the hell is Alan Keyes when you need a token black Republican?

  • whatever_dc

    [re=101007]sati demise[/re]: we ain’t even got no cabin republicans

  • whatever_dc

    [re=101017]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: he’s running for president — hello!

  • bup

    …and Mitt Romney’s canvassing the SPCA.

  • JadedDIssonance

    [re=101022]whatever_dc[/re]: that man lives in his own orbit.

  • Mr. Herpes

    This is soooo sweet. Gov. George is asking those two nice colored ladies what size deer head they want stuffed in their mailbox this year? Either that, or he’s telling the joke about the joke about “Welcome to Jamaica and Have a Nice Day”….ha, that one still kills me.

  • HuskyMescan

    After than shindig, Macaca had to attend four klan rallies just to get it out of system.

  • GIJoeIce

    I hear Imus is a McCain supporter, why don’t they trot him out?

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    You know if not for his “Macaca” moment, he would probably be the Republican presidential nominee right now instead of Walnuts. Not sure if that would be a good or bad thing. On one hand he is more handsome, less rigor mortised than Walnuts, but he is kind of dark & swarthy, dumb as a rock oh, and prejudiced, so it would have been interesting. But the best part would have been seeing him & Mittens going at it in the Breck hair off.

  • helenaHandbasket500
  • llyn

    [re=100975]keepinitrealyo[/re]: Your comment just joggled? (jogged?) a little thought train in my mind. I’ve been baffled about Georgia Congressman Lynn Westmoreland and the “uppity” business. It was especially hard to figure out what was going on because he said that Obama and his crowd thought they were “uppity.” I just now realized what happened. The Republicans must have promulgated talking points that instructed GOPers to use the words “elitist” or “arrogant” in describing Obama, explaining that racists would readily realize that both those words meant “uppity.” But pore ole Lynn ain’t too bright, and since he wasn’t real sure what either “elitist” or “arrogant” means, he decided to play it safe and go with “uppity” but he is so damn dumb that he doesn’t even know how to use the word “uppity” correctly. Thus we got the nonsensical “Obama thinks he’s uppity.”

  • weisenheimer

    Bonus points for the watermelon picture! Anyhoo I’ve always thought that the only full-grown adults who walk around carrying a ball were developmentally disabled.

  • Itsjustme

    [re=100943]grendel[/re]: Win!

  • SisterTruth

    I’m African American, and I’m for Obama so I THINK THIS IS A GREAT IDEA. Send the stupidest racist jerk you can find to try to convince Black people to vote Republican. This will only make us want to vote for Obama even more. Please, send it David Duke and Strom Thurman as well. Why not have a Republican KKK rally to recruit Black voters. I think it’s a great idea. And on behalf of Barack Obama, I thank you!!!!

  • SisterTruth

    Oh, one more thing. Do you see the expression on those women’s faces. As a black woman, I can tell you that this is the face we use with white people when we are trying to be polite, but we really think you’re a racist asshole. Or when we’re trying not to laugh in your face. I do think we have also witnessed first time George Allen has ever touched a black person. I’m betting they both rushed to wash their hands after this moment.

  • Itsjustme

    George Allen/George Wallace, what’s the diff?

  • Itsjustme

    [re=101089]SisterTruth[/re]: I’m not a black woman and I knew that face when I saw it!

  • Joey Ratz

    [re=101007]sati demise[/re]: Why, they’ll be the Black Lodge Republicans:

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    I’m 1/256 black and I don’t like George Allen. Take that sucka!

  • hockeymom

    I checked the calendar and today is NOT Opposite Day, so this story can not be true.

  • Norbert

    [re=101007]sati demise[/re]: Uncle Tom’s Cabin Republicans?

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    George Allen: Hi there, fellows. Meet Ken and Lonny.

    Larry: Larry.

    George Allen: Ken, Lonny, I’d like you to meet Mohammet, Jugdish, Sidney and Clayton. Grab a seat and make yourselves at home. Don’t be shy about helping yourselves to punch and cookies.

  • Uncommon Nonsense

    He’s racist and he’s from Virginia

    Wow. As a macaca living in Maryland — elitist, deep-blue, full-of-melanin Baltimore City, no less! — I’m not sure which of these two things I hate about him more.

    So much to despise, so little, little time.

  • snig

    My guess is they asked him to court the Jewish vote, since it was figured out he was one of the Chosen. He begged off as he is not up to giving up his Christmas tree yet.

    I guess it fits in the Bizarro Republican playbook, where Kerry who went to Vietnam is a traitor, where Bush who deserts a stateside post has military credit. While this is weird, I don’t know if it’s weirder than the other scams they’ve been able to pull off.

  • gliberal

    That’s the illest toupee I never did see! That’s roadkill where I come from.

  • Beans

    If this is actually aimed at the Hispanic vote, what are the odds that the dj will be spinning Macarena on the turntable? And George will be dancing under a giant sombrero?

    Nothing describes this election more aptly than WTF? I mean, how many times a day do you ask yourself? This political season is so bizarre, Wonkette has become my default site for political news because nothing else suits the hilarity.

    In fact, I’m having a great time–Until I think, shit–what if the gang-that-couldn’t-campaign-straight wins?

  • BobLoblawLawBlog

    Is every piece of new out of the GOP meant to make me lose my shit laughing? Is that their health care plan (the best medicine)?

  • BobLoblawLawBlog

    [re=101272]BobLoblawLawBlog[/re]: “news”. Scuse me.

  • Borat

    I think he secretly has a boner for black girls. What the hell did he do with those 2 in the photo? That looks like some camping trip he invited them on to ‘get back to nature’

  • MathewBrooks

    This makes perfect sense. Who better to say “stay away, you are not welcome here” than Macaca Allen?

  • Deepthroat

    signs of the impending apocalypse…

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