Staunch conservative baby harvester Rep. Michele Bachmann sez: “First we were told that Bear Stearns was too big to fail, then we were told that Freddie/Fannie were too big to fail, then we were told that AIG was too big to fail. What’s next, Starbucks too big to fail?” Ha ha ha, oh heavens, we think that might be a slap at the dreaded Liberals! Bachmann, as always, has hit upon something brilliant here that could carry the Republicans into landslide victories this fall: The government is flooding the economy with cash, ergo the Democrats must be behind this, and they will continue to bail out their “San Francisco values” companies if you elect them. “What’s next, STARBUCKS?” Marvelous. [ABC News]

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  1. She should probably have been all: “What’s next… Rice-A-Roni is too big to fail? Ha, ha, ha, ha,… get it?… No?… Rice-A-Roni? As in San Francisco Treat? No? ….as in HOMOS? Ah, you’re getting it now!”

  2. I need to go down to the mailbox to jack my welfare check so I can’t click the link to the ABC story. It wouldn’t matter because I can’t read, but anyway…

    … what’s the context here? Is this a prediction? I could see myself saying the same thing, only replacing the word “Starbucks” with with the acronym “KFC.”

  3. “Our heads are spinning now with the bailout mania,” Rep. Michele Bachmann, R-MN, told reporters at a news conference Thursday.

    I can only hope she means Linda Blair-style.

  4. …poor Michelle Bachmann, she just cant stand the fact that Sarah Palin is hogging her bible thumping, climate change denying, pipeline loving, drill baby drilling, psycho bitch spot light.

  5. From the ABC Article: “First we were told that Bear Stearns was too big to fail, then we were told that Freddie/Fannie were too big to fail, then we were told that AIG was too big to fail. What’s next, Starbucks too big to fail,” she pondered.

    I like the lack of a question mark there combined with the word ‘pondered’. I picture her saying “…then we were told that AIG was too big to fail,” then lowering her head and saying, so soft and pensively that almost none in the audience can hear her, “What’s next…Starbucks too big to fail…”

  6. Is there collective amnesia going on with all the wingut (R)s? THIS IS ON THEIR WATCH, Jesus! Remember kissing the current occupant and acting like Jonas bros fan, you horses ass?

  7. People like this are the number 1 reason birth control should be MANDATORY. This stupid broad is breathing MY oxygen, dammit. And dumbass bitters vote for her. Where is her district located so I might set fire to it?

  8. She did have a good point about Jesus bailing out all the banks 2,000 years ago, so that we don’t technically need the Fed to do it now.

    Oh, did I say “bailing out”? I meant “ransacking.”

  9. “Later, at another news conference, Rep. John Boehner, R-Ohio, the House Republican leader, complained about the administration’s lack information sharing and consultation with Congress.”

    Huh. Didn’t seem to fucking concern the Republicans as much when it was wiretapping and Constitution-shredding that the administration did without consulting anyone. Why do Republicans love money so much?

  10. San Francisco values are ruining this economy. The CEO’s of AIG, Morgan Stanley and Bear Stearns were all Republicans, so you know they love that SF buttsecks. Which reminds me, [re=100667]Serolf Divad[/re]: There is nothing better after SF buttsecks than Rice-a-Roni and a hostile acquisition by a foreign power.

  11. [re=100704]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: She interprets that passage as, “Give the bible-thumpers cash, and give the durty libruls a nightstick up their asses.”

  12. I’ll say it again: Republicans don’t mind spending money as long as it kills somebody (viz. Iraq), but have a economic crisis and they are all over that shit to stop government spending.

  13. [re=100709]Strictly for the Tardcore[/re]: Huh. I used to live in a place called San Francisco (like shortsshortsshorts, but less crazy), and my friends and I concurred that we actually kind of DID like having nightsticks up our asses. So, I welcome my new buttsecks partner Michelle Bachmann.

  14. [re=100680]Strictly for the Tardcore[/re]:

    “Thanks, Jim, for posting a picture that makes her look like someone’s dangling a pizza in front of her, just off camera.”

    Or W’s limp wang, after a couple hours of performance issues with Pickles.

  15. [re=100706]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: But they’ve had NO problem screaming and ranting all day about Podunks getting HER email hacked in to, it was pure wingnut “Outrage” then.

  16. Actually, Starbucks gets $4 from you for 15 cents worth of coffee. They use this profit to pay their own bills like good citizens. Investment banks lie to you that $4 is the same thing as 15 cents and then cry to the government when this kind of thinking fucks them in the ass. The government then bails them out with the taxes they collected from Starbucks while the investment banks writhe like the fucking non-productive welfare queens they are.

  17. [re=100676]stew[/re]: Republicans don’t blink or perhaps can’t blink. The Daily Show has covered this phenomena.
    Michelle Bachmann is living proof that not all of Minnesota’s children are above average. On the other hand she has to be a few IQ points ahead of Palin.

  18. Wait, you know, SBux is headquartered here in Seattle. Was Bachmann trying to slam Seattle-values? We don’t really have any, except that we refuse to raise taxes to pay for any form of public transportation. Well, besides the Monorail to nowhere.

  19. People, ignore all this bullshit from Bachmann and her ilk. It’s just more GOP smokescreen to make Walnuts look even more like a Mav’rick.

    Yea, the House Republicans shallt deny Bush thrice before November, that when January cometh, they shallt riseth again and ruleth Washington forever and ever, amen.

  20. Okay, they are all crazy..

    Alaska Politician Blamed For Disturbance On Flight
    Alaska state Sen. Lesil McGuire caused a disturbance on an Alaska Airlines flight, including throwing a glass of water when flight attendants refused to serve her alcohol, authorities said.

  21. [re=100733]Itsjustme[/re]: She’s had to live with Caribou Barbie as her Governor for a couple years, cut her a break. We’d all have been dead from alcohol poisoning by now.

  22. [re=100703]Hunter Gathers[/re]: she represents (among other places) the booming metropolis of St. Cloud, MN…or White Cloud as most of the slightly enlightened college students call it. You’d be doing us all a favor by razing it. Godspeed!

  23. Starbucks will play an even bigger role in the economy in the near future. When people wake up in the morning to go out hunting for new jobs, they will need that Venti double-shot, red-eye, superchardged esspresso to recover from the previous nights drinking binge, which had been preceded by a long, depressing day of job hunting….

    and the cylce will continue until the apcoplypse…

  24. She meant to say, “What’s next, Caribou too big to fail?”
    I guess she’s worried about the pipeline coffee klatches now.

    I live in Minnesota and have to share airspace with this nut job.

  25. [re=100733]Itsjustme[/re]: Her husband is a felon btw, and this isn’t her first public embarrassment. She was in a wreck with Tyler-Shoup and there was pot and alcohol everywhere and everyone sued each other.

    Gotta love them Alaska politicians.

  26. Help. I can’t reconcile these two paragraphs! Could it be all that MSG which Morgan Stanley sprinkled on my account statement?

    —- “The bailout we are interested in is bailing out the American taxpayer,” said Rep. Jeb Hensarling, R-Tex., chairman of the conservative Republican Study Group.

    According to the group, the solution to the financial meltdown is to lower capital gains and corporate tax rates to get money off the sidelines and into the economy. —-

  27. Yeah, Us Minnesotans seem to have a disposition to elect the crazies. Possibly because we’re bored or stupid. Either way, it’s a nice place to live accept for that pesky Prince that keeps knocking on my door trying to convert me into a Jehovah’s Witness.

  28. [re=100776]S.Luggo[/re]: Only now, at the end, do you understand the McCain-Rove plan: to unleash a torrent of doubletalk so overwhelmingly powerful that no thinking person will be able to vote in November.

    Because their heads have all exploded.

  29. [re=100772]Sussemilch[/re]: I can’t blame Alaska State Senator Lesil McGuire (R – Moosen Squirrel, AK). When similarly refused alcohol, I frequently throw feces, usually someone else’s.

  30. [re=100785]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: He knocked on your door, too? I usually
    just ask him to sing Pussy Control and that’s enough to get him to spin
    around on his high heels and go away.

    Do I get some sort of Minnesota demerit for not loving Prince?

  31. At least Obama will be president of our hobo village, and Tinklenberg will be his underling, if only seeing his name didn’t make me have to run to the ladies’ room.

  32. [re=100725]freakishlystrong[/re]: Seriously, if VIPLPO(TM) didn’t have something to hide, she shouldn’t care if we invade her privacy. What is she a terrist? Next Faillin will want the government to need a subpoena before giving citizens the Louima. Fucking librul.

  33. [re=100810]S.Luggo[/re]: Indeed Lesil (where the fuck do they get these names??) McGuire is at least one Republican not advocating an abstinence program.

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