• May 27, 2012

Michele Bachmann Says Comical Thing About Economy

by Jim Newell  3:01 pm September 18, 2008

Staunch conservative baby harvester Rep. Michele Bachmann sez: “First we were told that Bear Stearns was too big to fail, then we were told that Freddie/Fannie were too big to fail, then we were told that AIG was too big to fail. What’s next, Starbucks too big to fail?” Ha ha ha, oh heavens, we think that might be a slap at the dreaded Liberals! Bachmann, as always, has hit upon something brilliant here that could carry the Republicans into landslide victories this fall: The government is flooding the economy with cash, ergo the Democrats must be behind this, and they will continue to bail out their “San Francisco values” companies if you elect them. “What’s next, STARBUCKS?” Marvelous. [ABC News]

{ 75 comments }

AnnieGetYourFun September 18, 2008 at 3:04 pm

God, I love that crazy bitch.

agentstinky September 18, 2008 at 3:06 pm

Moar liek Michelle BachMANn, amirite olol?

superfecta September 18, 2008 at 3:06 pm

But…but…I don’t even drink coffee!

freakishlystrong September 18, 2008 at 3:08 pm

Michelle Bachmann=Epic Fail

Serolf Divad September 18, 2008 at 3:08 pm

She should probably have been all: “What’s next… Rice-A-Roni is too big to fail? Ha, ha, ha, ha,… get it?… No?… Rice-A-Roni? As in San Francisco Treat? No? ….as in HOMOS? Ah, you’re getting it now!”

norbizness September 18, 2008 at 3:08 pm

There’s something oddly fitting about the (R) after her name and the use of the word FAIL about 123 times in two sentences.

freakishlystrong September 18, 2008 at 3:08 pm

[re=100653]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I love me a good Bachmann post!

Sussemilch September 18, 2008 at 3:08 pm

And you all laughed when I began hoarding Warcraft gold. My elf currency will buy your China-sized company!

CrunchyKnee September 18, 2008 at 3:09 pm

Nothing says “teh crazy” like “conservative” government bitches.

Palin/Bachman ’12

Reefpilot September 18, 2008 at 3:09 pm

I need to go down to the mailbox to jack my welfare check so I can’t click the link to the ABC story. It wouldn’t matter because I can’t read, but anyway…

… what’s the context here? Is this a prediction? I could see myself saying the same thing, only replacing the word “Starbucks” with with the acronym “KFC.”

Cogito Ergo Bibo September 18, 2008 at 3:09 pm

“Our heads are spinning now with the bailout mania,” Rep. Michele Bachmann, R-MN, told reporters at a news conference Thursday.

I can only hope she means Linda Blair-style.

stew September 18, 2008 at 3:10 pm

She that never blinks. That bitch is so fucking nuts.

Cape Clod September 18, 2008 at 3:11 pm

That woman is seriously 15 different types of stupid, isn’t she?

Strictly for the Tardcore September 18, 2008 at 3:12 pm

Thanks, Jim, for posting a picture that makes her look like someone’s dangling a pizza in front of her, just off camera.

AngryBlakGuy September 18, 2008 at 3:12 pm

…poor Michelle Bachmann, she just cant stand the fact that Sarah Palin is hogging her bible thumping, climate change denying, pipeline loving, drill baby drilling, psycho bitch spot light.

Mahousu September 18, 2008 at 3:13 pm

Will Michele be the one to tell Katherine “pink sugar no fat no foam” Harris that Starbucks is going down? And will there be video?

agentstinky September 18, 2008 at 3:14 pm

From the ABC Article: “First we were told that Bear Stearns was too big to fail, then we were told that Freddie/Fannie were too big to fail, then we were told that AIG was too big to fail. What’s next, Starbucks too big to fail,” she pondered.

I like the lack of a question mark there combined with the word ‘pondered’. I picture her saying “…then we were told that AIG was too big to fail,” then lowering her head and saying, so soft and pensively that almost none in the audience can hear her, “What’s next…Starbucks too big to fail…”

AngryBlakGuy September 18, 2008 at 3:14 pm

[re=100679]Cape Clod[/re]: …and 12 different flavors of crazy!

freakishlystrong September 18, 2008 at 3:14 pm

Is there collective amnesia going on with all the wingut (R)s? THIS IS ON THEIR WATCH, Jesus! Remember kissing the current occupant and acting like Jonas bros fan, you horses ass?

Serolf Divad September 18, 2008 at 3:15 pm

[re=100679]Cape Clod[/re]:

Just 14, actually: “Bible Thumper” and “Redneck” count as one.

Itsjustme September 18, 2008 at 3:16 pm

Why do they all have those “Runaway Bride” eyes? They scare me.

SwanSwanH September 18, 2008 at 3:18 pm

[re=100681]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: So we’ve got the cat-fight covered…. When do we get to see them kiss?

randomsausage September 18, 2008 at 3:18 pm

Is there a factory somewhere that pumps out hot retard conservative MILF bitches?

Sussemilch September 18, 2008 at 3:19 pm

What a lovely matching bookend to Enron this is for the Bush Library.

blader September 18, 2008 at 3:21 pm

Next thing you know those fucking libs will want to bail out the San Francisco sex shop industry, NTTAWWT

Hunter Gathers September 18, 2008 at 3:21 pm

People like this are the number 1 reason birth control should be MANDATORY. This stupid broad is breathing MY oxygen, dammit. And dumbass bitters vote for her. Where is her district located so I might set fire to it?

AnnieGetYourFun September 18, 2008 at 3:22 pm

She did have a good point about Jesus bailing out all the banks 2,000 years ago, so that we don’t technically need the Fed to do it now.

Oh, did I say “bailing out”? I meant “ransacking.”

AnnieGetYourFun September 18, 2008 at 3:25 pm

“Later, at another news conference, Rep. John Boehner, R-Ohio, the House Republican leader, complained about the administration’s lack information sharing and consultation with Congress.”

Huh. Didn’t seem to fucking concern the Republicans as much when it was wiretapping and Constitution-shredding that the administration did without consulting anyone. Why do Republicans love money so much?

shortsshortsshorts September 18, 2008 at 3:25 pm

San Francisco values are ruining this economy. The CEO’s of AIG, Morgan Stanley and Bear Stearns were all Republicans, so you know they love that SF buttsecks. Which reminds me, [re=100667]Serolf Divad[/re]: There is nothing better after SF buttsecks than Rice-a-Roni and a hostile acquisition by a foreign power.

Tawmn September 18, 2008 at 3:26 pm

That woman is teh crazy. I’m surprised we haven’t met in a bar.

Strictly for the Tardcore September 18, 2008 at 3:26 pm

[re=100704]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: She interprets that passage as, “Give the bible-thumpers cash, and give the durty libruls a nightstick up their asses.”

Hooray For Anything September 18, 2008 at 3:26 pm

[re=100676]stew[/re]: Well, Sarah Palin keeps saying that you should never blink so make that what you will

btwbfdimho September 18, 2008 at 3:26 pm

Sounds like size matters for Ms. Bachmann.
Should we whip out the black sheriff clip again?

space stout September 18, 2008 at 3:26 pm

what a lovely pearl necklace she displays…

TGY September 18, 2008 at 3:29 pm

I’ll say it again: Republicans don’t mind spending money as long as it kills somebody (viz. Iraq), but have a economic crisis and they are all over that shit to stop government spending.

AnnieGetYourFun September 18, 2008 at 3:29 pm

[re=100709]Strictly for the Tardcore[/re]: Huh. I used to live in a place called San Francisco (like shortsshortsshorts, but less crazy), and my friends and I concurred that we actually kind of DID like having nightsticks up our asses. So, I welcome my new buttsecks partner Michelle Bachmann.

LittlePhatGuise September 18, 2008 at 3:30 pm

Ahhh, Pearl Necklace.

bmannes September 18, 2008 at 3:31 pm

OMG! Starbucks just closed 600 stores! Fucking Michelle Bachmann!!!

Serolf Divad September 18, 2008 at 3:31 pm

[re=100707]shortsshortsshorts[/re]:

Actually, the best buttsecs is the buttsecs that results from a hostile acquisition.

Reefpilot September 18, 2008 at 3:32 pm

[re=100680]Strictly for the Tardcore[/re]:

“Thanks, Jim, for posting a picture that makes her look like someone’s dangling a pizza in front of her, just off camera.”

Or W’s limp wang, after a couple hours of performance issues with Pickles.

freakishlystrong September 18, 2008 at 3:32 pm

[re=100706]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: But they’ve had NO problem screaming and ranting all day about Podunks getting HER email hacked in to, it was pure wingnut “Outrage” then.

RaptorAvatar September 18, 2008 at 3:33 pm

Actually, Starbucks gets $4 from you for 15 cents worth of coffee. They use this profit to pay their own bills like good citizens. Investment banks lie to you that $4 is the same thing as 15 cents and then cry to the government when this kind of thinking fucks them in the ass. The government then bails them out with the taxes they collected from Starbucks while the investment banks writhe like the fucking non-productive welfare queens they are.

springfield_meltdown September 18, 2008 at 3:34 pm

[re=100676]stew[/re]: Republicans don’t blink or perhaps can’t blink. The Daily Show has covered this phenomena.
Michelle Bachmann is living proof that not all of Minnesota’s children are above average. On the other hand she has to be a few IQ points ahead of Palin.

AnnieGetYourFun September 18, 2008 at 3:34 pm

Wait, you know, SBux is headquartered here in Seattle. Was Bachmann trying to slam Seattle-values? We don’t really have any, except that we refuse to raise taxes to pay for any form of public transportation. Well, besides the Monorail to nowhere.

grendel September 18, 2008 at 3:34 pm

[re=100674]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: I think she means the Reefer Madness

StrangelyBrown September 18, 2008 at 3:35 pm

People, ignore all this bullshit from Bachmann and her ilk. It’s just more GOP smokescreen to make Walnuts look even more like a Mav’rick.

Yea, the House Republicans shallt deny Bush thrice before November, that when January cometh, they shallt riseth again and ruleth Washington forever and ever, amen.

Itsjustme September 18, 2008 at 3:37 pm

Okay, they are all crazy..

Alaska Politician Blamed For Disturbance On Flight
AP
Alaska state Sen. Lesil McGuire caused a disturbance on an Alaska Airlines flight, including throwing a glass of water when flight attendants refused to serve her alcohol, authorities said.

magic titty September 18, 2008 at 3:39 pm

[re=100731]StrangelyBrown[/re]: I like you (just not in that way).

grendel September 18, 2008 at 3:40 pm

[re=100733]Itsjustme[/re]: She’s had to live with Caribou Barbie as her Governor for a couple years, cut her a break. We’d all have been dead from alcohol poisoning by now.

wellspring September 18, 2008 at 3:41 pm

[re=100703]Hunter Gathers[/re]: she represents (among other places) the booming metropolis of St. Cloud, MN…or White Cloud as most of the slightly enlightened college students call it. You’d be doing us all a favor by razing it. Godspeed!

Itsjustme September 18, 2008 at 3:42 pm

[re=100741]grendel[/re]: So fucking true!

Itsjustme September 18, 2008 at 3:45 pm

[re=100741]grendel[/re]: Wait! She is a card carrying member of the Alaskan REpublican Women’s Club.

Miller September 18, 2008 at 3:47 pm

What mouth breathing section of our populace deemed her a competent representation of their community of tin shacked yokels? And was she elected the non sequiter Queen before then or after?

What’s too big to fail next, circus tents?

http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

facehead September 18, 2008 at 3:53 pm

stay gold, ponyboy.

azw88 September 18, 2008 at 3:55 pm

Starbucks will play an even bigger role in the economy in the near future. When people wake up in the morning to go out hunting for new jobs, they will need that Venti double-shot, red-eye, superchardged esspresso to recover from the previous nights drinking binge, which had been preceded by a long, depressing day of job hunting….

and the cylce will continue until the apcoplypse…

jodyleek September 18, 2008 at 3:55 pm

She meant to say, “What’s next, Caribou too big to fail?”
I guess she’s worried about the pipeline coffee klatches now.

I live in Minnesota and have to share airspace with this nut job.
Blech!

Borat September 18, 2008 at 3:55 pm

If my local sushi shop fails, the republicans will have one less person to vote against them. If I go 3 days without sushi, I get the delerioum tremors.

Borat September 18, 2008 at 3:57 pm

Oh my god, what if our ISPs go bust?? And everyone but Faux News?? this is a consiracy man!

facehead September 18, 2008 at 3:58 pm

“What’s next, my ignorance to big too fail?”

Sussemilch September 18, 2008 at 4:00 pm

[re=100733]Itsjustme[/re]: Her husband is a felon btw, and this isn’t her first public embarrassment. She was in a wreck with Tyler-Shoup and there was pot and alcohol everywhere and everyone sued each other.

Gotta love them Alaska politicians.

S.Luggo September 18, 2008 at 4:01 pm

Help. I can’t reconcile these two paragraphs! Could it be all that MSG which Morgan Stanley sprinkled on my account statement?

—- “The bailout we are interested in is bailing out the American taxpayer,” said Rep. Jeb Hensarling, R-Tex., chairman of the conservative Republican Study Group.

According to the group, the solution to the financial meltdown is to lower capital gains and corporate tax rates to get money off the sidelines and into the economy. —-

Monsieur Grumpe September 18, 2008 at 4:03 pm

Yeah, Us Minnesotans seem to have a disposition to elect the crazies. Possibly because we’re bored or stupid. Either way, it’s a nice place to live accept for that pesky Prince that keeps knocking on my door trying to convert me into a Jehovah’s Witness.

StrangelyBrown September 18, 2008 at 4:07 pm

[re=100776]S.Luggo[/re]: Only now, at the end, do you understand the McCain-Rove plan: to unleash a torrent of doubletalk so overwhelmingly powerful that no thinking person will be able to vote in November.

Because their heads have all exploded.

OzoneTom September 18, 2008 at 4:09 pm

[re=100720]LittlePhatGuise[/re]: Every pearl is sacred!

njdon September 18, 2008 at 4:14 pm

i think bailing a company out would be a good fund raising activity in an election year. no, no in her words but yes, yes in her eyes.

S.Luggo September 18, 2008 at 4:16 pm

[re=100772]Sussemilch[/re]: I can’t blame Alaska State Senator Lesil McGuire (R – Moosen Squirrel, AK). When similarly refused alcohol, I frequently throw feces, usually someone else’s.

jodyleek September 18, 2008 at 4:22 pm

[re=100785]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: He knocked on your door, too? I usually
just ask him to sing Pussy Control and that’s enough to get him to spin
around on his high heels and go away.

Do I get some sort of Minnesota demerit for not loving Prince?

TGY September 18, 2008 at 4:26 pm

Also, that’s definitely a pic of a woman whose choker is too tight. Brain starved for oxygen. Figures.

BoreExpert September 18, 2008 at 4:28 pm

At least Obama will be president of our hobo village, and Tinklenberg will be his underling, if only seeing his name didn’t make me have to run to the ladies’ room.

LBOtomist September 18, 2008 at 4:37 pm

[re=100725]freakishlystrong[/re]: Seriously, if VIPLPO(TM) didn’t have something to hide, she shouldn’t care if we invade her privacy. What is she a terrist? Next Faillin will want the government to need a subpoena before giving citizens the Louima. Fucking librul.

Itsjustme September 18, 2008 at 4:59 pm

[re=100772]Sussemilch[/re] Good Lawd!

KittyKatMan September 18, 2008 at 5:04 pm

Shut up and get impregnated

randomsausage September 18, 2008 at 5:12 pm

[re=100810]S.Luggo[/re]: Indeed Lesil (where the fuck do they get these names??) McGuire is at least one Republican not advocating an abstinence program.

graceless September 18, 2008 at 8:43 pm

Isn’t she the one rumored to be ‘very close’ with the president?

gliberal September 18, 2008 at 10:32 pm

When you can see white all the way around her pupils like that, it’s called mania. As in psychosis.

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