Advertising Inquiries:
wonkette@blogads.com
Tip Your Wonkette:
tips@wonkette.com
Editors:
Ken Layne | Email
Jim Newell | Email
Sara K. Smith | Email
Juli Weiner | Email
Intern:
Riley Waggaman
Walnuts’ new ad, “Dome,” warns the American people that Barack Obama will grow the size of the actual U.S. Capitol to cover the whole eastern seaboard. He will do this with steroids. And then this Obama will go to your house and FUCKING SMOTHER YOUR WHITE CHILDREN TO DEATH. Ha ha, good! All kids deserve to die. [YouTube]
12:58 PM
on Thu September 18 2008
By
Jim Newell
2056 Views
Wonkette
Anyone see this?
In an interview with the Omaha World-Herald, Nebraska Sen. Chuck Hagel (R) suggested that Palin doesn’t have the foreign-policy experience to be president. “‘She doesn’t have any foreign policy credentials,’ Hagel said in an interview. ‘You get a passport for the first time in your life last year? I mean, I don’t know what you can say. You can’t say anything.’”
Check out this other Hagel line: “‘I think they ought to be just honest about it and stop the nonsense about, “I look out my window and I see Russia and so therefore I know something about Russia,”‘ he said. ‘That kind of thing is insulting to the American people
The only kid who deserves to die is the one on the airline kicking the back of my seat, or next to me wailing and bellowing while his mother looks out the window. Those kids deserve to die, now.
This ad just made my head spin like Linda Blair in The Exorcist
Rush: Well of course Hagel would say that. Hagel has a working brain.
I’m cumming about change.
Is Jerry Bruckheimer working for McCain now?
I think a fresh round of deregulation is just what Wall(nuts!) Street needs. The SEC needs a sound moose-fucking, that’s for sure.
The Economy is in crisis! We need more regulation! But big government is bad! Yay liberal ideas! Boo liberals! Vote McNutz.
Rush: I didn’t see it, but it warmed my heart when I read it. There’s still like 6 Republicans in the world who can tell the truth, before the party drags them off to Guantanamo for “reeducation.” Chuck Hagel after being reeducated: “Mistress Sarah knows all. Mistress Sarah is Qualified. Please forgive my insolence, I am but a lowly bug beneath your heel.”
Oh, well, since Obama is actually one of the aliens from Independence Day, I guess my vote’s going to… going to… um… I guess I’m voting for…
Ah, fuck. I can’t even joke about voting for WALNUTS!. Big Government Invasion ‘08!!!
Methinks McCain is getting advice from AOL forum trolls. This new ad is straight propaganda, smooth and flavorless. The facts don’t even come up, just head on scary words.
So, now McCain’s answer is less regulation? He’s having a hard time getting his message straight. Can we at least settle that he’s pro-Metamucil?
I’m confused. Is WALNUTS! for regulation or against regulation? Never mind, I’m sure whichever it is, he’ll change is mind within an hour.
Rush: That dovetails nicely with the audio of Palin at a Johnny Mac Town Hall event yesterday. A woman asked Palin specifically what her foreign policy qualifications were. Palin responded with a little passive-aggressive attitude, then proceeded to talk for a good 15 seconds without actually saying anything specific about anything.
“I feel that if we are blessed enough to be elected in November, I am confident that I have the foreign policy knowledge of policies of a foreign nature that will help us reform Washington because I’m a reformisting Washington Outsider of Reformation. Those Greedy Wall Street Corporate FatCats won’t destroy American Economics on John McCain’s watch!”
Seriously, that isn’t too far from what she actually said.
Hunter Gathers:
I can see my toilet from my bathroom so I’m going to run the sewer authority. heheheheh
John McCain has finally warned us in no uncertain terms about the encroaching BLACK MENACE that is Barack Obama. Clearly, under an Obama regime, the whole country will be blacker than the ace of spades!
BlackblackblackblackblackblackBLACK!
Also, WTF?
Has anyone see the move Scanners?, Cuz that’s what my fuckin’ head feels like…
Would have been more believeable if Trig had played the part of the sleeping baby.
Rush: I can see a street from my lawn. Department o’ Transportation, muthafucka!!!
obfuscator:
Yeah, I saw the quote you are talking about.
I think we have had enough of leaders who trade a lack of experience and appreciation for nuance for brashness or excessive bravdo.
I’m John McCain and I need to be pummeled with a towel full of grapefruit.
Oh, man. I guess he learned to stay on message for those FIVE AND A HALF YEARS. No matter what questions they ask, just repeat the same thing over and over again.
Irish babies are the best for eating just ask Jonathan Swift.
McCain has to realize that ad is crap right? Government bailouts and bridges to nowhere do not equal less government.
Jesus that ad make me sleepy. I think I’ll play it next time need a soporific. Anyone tell me what it was about?
Rush: ha!
Rush:
First of all, love your radio show. Big fan.
My gut feeling on Palin is that typical mouth-breathing Joe Public is going to get sick of her just as quickly as he fell in love with her. Once you stop squinting and really giving her a good look-over, you realize she’s crazy and probably has crabs.
“They voted for Obama and were all eaten by bears in consequence.” A cautionary tale.
obfuscator:
U.S. Americans. Maps. The Iraq.
V572625694: Kill the one that produced him also.
Yes, taxes are what you should be afraid of! Also not having any income to tax might be a problem as well.
Strictly for the Tardcore: I am looking around my office and see people not working. I guess I can run the RNC.
Haha, I hope Johnny Mack spent a pile of Ameros on that pile of shit. Is that all you got, gramps?
Ann Coulter said you lost Viet Nam. Hahaha, you got ridiculed by a tranny. Beyotch!
TGY: Was it the Bear from Countdown last night or the Hurricane Bear?
Serolf Divad: It was about the Godawful liberal menace, mofo!
Rush: Palin wouldn’t even have a passport if you didn’t need one to go to Canada these days.
Serolf Divad: All I got was “black menace”.
I have long sat back and enjoyed reading the lovely snark here on wonkette… for years now. And I do not comment because, well, I’m not very funny. I leave it to you kids. But as a financial newspaper reporter, I just, well, I just can’t take the insanity.
How is it possible the McCain can spew this Republican toxic waste while my IRA is all but obsolete and any remnants of Wall Street that will be left are the guys with folding tables selling bubbles guns and fake pashminas?
Really, we should just secede. The people on both sides of the aisle are just too far gone to get along, and quite honestly, I’d prefer that I didn’t have to have any type of exchange with the self-celebrating unintelligent trash that those repugs have created. Fuck McCain, Palin and their Jesus-loving, wilted ice berg lettuce drenched in ranch dressing-eating, 8th grade education level-having, let’s drill here, let’s drill now-saying, fucking idiots.
I can’t breathe any more. Really, I can’t. Even the snark you lovely people post on here can’t make me sleep at night, which is why I drink two-buck chuck every night until I pass out and wake up unhappilly hung over to report on the finanical and political ruins of this country and then go home to drench myself in bad red wine all over again.
Mmmmm. I do loves me a big, massive government. Sex-ay.
Rush: …well, I have a serious drinking problems; so can I head the department of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms?!
I want to print this ad out on paper and wipe my black ass with it.
dano: Yes, now you understand Bush-Cheney-McCain’s version of Reaganomics. Starve the beast by killing everyone who could possibly feed it.
Carrie_Okie: Wait, Coulter clowned him? I thought she’d be rubbing herself against a poster of WcCain’s face after he Eggo’d on abortion and Christianism.
I picked a bad time to stop sniffing the glues.
Nizzles!: Two buck chuck? Elitist!
Reglar ‘mercuns get their wine in beer cans. Get back to your palatial villa in Tuscany!
freakishlystrong: This election should end the way the movie ended with Obama saying to McCain: “All right. We’re gonna do this the scanner way. I’m gonna suck your brain dry!”
I never thought I’d see the day that a Republican was advocating more government regulation. WTF?
http://www.entertonement.com/clips/27648/Barack-Obama/Barack-Obama-On-Old-Boys-Network/Staff-meeting
Nizzles!: Congratulations! You’ve reached the snapping point. It’s much healthier over where, when you realize that no, it’s really not just you.
I know it’s getting old.. but.. from The Condensed Beauty Queen phrasebook:
“I feel that if we are blessed enough to be elected in November, I am confident that I have the foreign policy knowledge of policies of a foreign nature that will help us reform Washington because I’m a reformisting Washington Outsider of Reformation. Those Greedy Wall Street Corporate FatCats won’t destroy American Economics on John McCain’s watch!”
=
“I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, people out there in our nation don’t have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as, uh, South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they should, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, or, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future, for our [children]“
Cogito Ergo Bibo: I have a massive government. Tremendous.
In my pants.
And it has awesome growth potential.
obfuscator: Her response is the like me saying that while I know nothing about geology and failed at it college, if I were to get a job as a geologist, I’ll study enough to not screw up as a geologist.
Nizzles!:
Relax. Guys with folding tables selling bubble guns is all part of the Republican economic platform of the future. That and selling the remnants of your former life on Ebay, anyway. It’s a multibillion dollar industry for many Americans!
Oh, and FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, ALAN!
Nizzles!: Aww, Nizzles. Either you snark or you cry. It’s the dilemma I face every day when I walk into the office to hear that another set of coworkers have had their “skill set right-sized” to India. And yes, they use the term “right-sized.” Snark and alcohol may not be much, but it’s all we have. Besides, Dubya said that the market is correcting itself, right? Yeah, okay. Well, try drinking during the day. It sounds like you’re still overlooking that option.
Is it just my tear-obscured vision, or was Walnuts!’ face growing a new tumor because of Barry’s Black Shadow at the end of that Misery?
Nizzles!: It’s ok. I’m not sure how it’s ok, but it is. We are working hard for a tax-free solution. Read my lips: Barack Osama is black and will turn your children black…so vote for the people who have masticated your soul.
Strictly for the Tardcore: I’ve got very tight budget constrictions. Call me.
JadedDIssonance:
MMMMM-MMMMM!
Tasty soul mastication. Change I can definitely believe in.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: You mean Sexay Big Black Massive Government…
The evil (black) shadow rolling over the innocent, sleeping (white) baby was a stroke of Rovian genius. Seriously, whichever of his disciples came up with this ad could put some of this talent to feature-length filmmaking and knock ol’ M. Night Shamaylamadingdong down to a weak #2 in the horror/suspense genre.
Plus, that goofilly-grinning nigra at about :07 looked sort of like Alfred E. Neuman.
Mad film skills in the service of evil. Gotta hand it to them. I Hope® the average American voter is insulted and disgusted as I am.
What’s with the visuals: those big white block letters hovering over city streets shot from the air. Its like in that new TV show Fringe where it says HARVARD UNIVERSITY in big white letters superimposed over the opening shot–ya know, to tell us where we are. PAINFUL TAXES. Yes there they are hovering right overhead. They’re goin crush us. Gaaa!
JadedDIssonance: Representative Westmoreland, can I quote you on that?
Cogito Ergo Bibo: This is my favorite comment. Ever.
BREAKING: Barack Obama is still black!
JadedDIssonance: Hey, long as it’s massive…
Given that right now current federal policy is to GIVE HUNDREDS OF BILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO GIANT COMPANIES, I don’t think TAXES are their biggest burden right now.
Looks like a giant titty descending over the land!!!
Awriiiiiight!!! Get me some!
Nizzles!: We all wrestle with these difficult political thoughts everyday, but what we really need to do is start wrestling wild animals. Look, don’t be all bummed out. I’m not afraid to get emo with you, but I don’t know if you could handle it. When I bring the full emo, somebody is gonna get hurt.
Nizzles!: 8th grade education?
Optimist!
Nizzles!: Yes, Nizzles, I’m all in with you on the secession.
I hear there are some really nice people who want to secede as well -
they call themselves the AIP. Pack your bags baby, we are going to Alay-ska!
Strictly for the Tardcore: Uppity, yeah. Time to start throwing stones from my candidate’s 8 glass houses!
Cogito Ergo Bibo: trying not to be aroused…(janet reno janet reno janet reno snowbilly SHIT!)
Once I built a railroad, made it run,
Made it race against time.
Once I built a railroad, now it’s done,
Brother can you spare a dime?
Serolf Divad: Sure: it’s about how an Obama presidency will really suck (if you make over $600,000 a year).
teebob2000: Woody Allen is gonna sue somebody…
All I think when I see these kinds of pandering, bullshit, evil, cancerous snots upon our political system is one of the 600 mouth breathers I work with watching this and thinking:
Wow…me like ad. It looks like that movie with the nice blak man fighting the aliens. Me no like the smart, reader black man who wants to take my gunz and allow my kidz to read gud like him. Me no like taxes. Me no like dead babies. Me have no money to tax since me no get goo educashun. Stupid black devil librul make me boss have no money. Me vote for old man and Gov. Maxim Spread.
Fuck this country, once I am done with B.S. degree number two (if the ecconomy doesn’t get so shitty my company flushes tuition reimbursement) I am moving someplace where reading and movies not made by Mikey Bay are considered mainstream.
Oh, and since there was no snark in this post just let me say: you know…I’ve go nothing.
dano: Brother, can you spare a gun?
sezme: (and if you own 7 or more houses).
Is it me or did anybody think the Paultark Blimp was going to be the source of those shadows?
dano: Oddly enough, one of Obama’s plans for future national growth was to institute another public works program similar to FDR’s PWA (minus cronyism [wokka] and racism) for new public improvements, infrastructure…etc. He wants to combine it with a public service program ala Americorps. Sorry, not that snarky, just hopeful. Woah, I actually said the word. I feel really conflicted.
4tehlulz: Wait… Barry’s BLACK!?!?
Nizzles!: Maria Bartiromo, is that you?
The Obama campaign should rebut by pointing out that their proposed new Atlantic-seaboard-covering government will only cast a big shadow for about 1/2 an hour at sunrise, and only over Appalachia.
JadedDIssonance: Too late. Tardcore and I are gonna regulate and deregulate all night, yo! ‘Cause it’s dirrrrty.
I am so glad I got my meds changed yesterday. Isn’t the sky a pretty color of blue? I take nap now.
EnBuenOra: win!
Nizzles…. I hear ya. But when the GOP decided to ignore fuc*in’ David Stockman when he said his very own theory of -’trickle down and let the free market regulate itself- economics’ DID NOT WORK, it was only a matter of time before this ignorance resulted in some consequences.
Reaganomics was/is a failed ideology. And I am sorry, but Obama got some gaff for saying ‘failed philosophy’, but how the hell else do you describe what happened?
jodyleek: Alaska is a red state. This means they get more money from the Federal govenment than they give.
Wish the Blue states could just stop the welfare payments. This is the secession. States in the black (blue) and states in the red, the south and Alaska.
Lascauxcaveman: Thank Moloch it doesn’t rely on cliches. http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/c/c6/300px-NosferatuShadow.jpg
Serolf Divad: I don’t know what it means either. I mean, Mc-too-old-and-truly-boring-to-even-try-to-come-up-with-yet-another-clever-pun-Cain “approves” the message, but WHAT fucking message? What the hell did that say?
Nizzles!: We all need a reason to drink. Heavily. I thank this administration every day for that.
Clancy_Pants: Is that Palin quote … real? Is that a real quote? Please tell me that’s just the usual hilarious Wonkette satire.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: How dirty we talkin’ ’bout? ‘Cause I’ve got a move I call “The Financial Bail-Out,” and most chicks find it goes against their “political philosophy,” if you catch me…
Serolf Divad: Anyone tell me what it was about?
Her Royal Highness Lady Lynn Forester de Rothschild popped out of a huge frosty white birthday cake, pasties twirling, to remind the rednecks that she won’t be able to afford diamond-encrusted nozzles for her solid gold douche bottles if they vote for the exotic dark man who wants to raise her taxes. Then, she invited them to try a wafer-thin slice of cake, but it tasted terrible because it was just a prop made out of plaster-of-paris, acrylic paint and glitter.
sati demise: Alaska is a Redneck state
The thing I’ve always feared most has come true. A giant capitol building blanketing my sleeping baby in a giant shadow. Plus two kinds of horrendous taxes. I’m swayed, I’m voting McCain.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Strictly for the Tardcore: Is it anything like the Lending Institution Takeover? I mean, I’m pretty open-minded, but I’m just not sure I bend in quite that way.
CivicHoliday: The best ones are the ones where in ONE SENTENCE they say we need to clean up and control Wall Street and get government out of the way of business… Amazing feats in cognitive dissonance.
Botswana Meat Commission FC: The Most Dangerous Catch
Thanks for the support. You’re all right. two-buck cuck is elitist. everyone knows trailer trash communities don’t graduate past the 6th grade and I need not engage in reality.
Better to take Cogito Ergo Bibo’s advice: Daytime drinking. Which I usually save for Saturdays and Sundays. But it’d probably be a good idea to drink during the day while being a reporter. I mean, really, my distorted facts are no different than what the repugs’ say on a daily basis and the wise cable news people repeat. Besides, I’m much more social with a few in me. you all may be in store for some bad jokes. apologies in advance.
A separate point, though: You know how the freakonomics guys said legalized abortion was the reason crime dropped in the 90s because all those bad babies weren’t being born and weren’t growing up to commit horrible crimes?
Does that mean that if Roe v. Wade is overturned, more of our beautiful teenage daughters can have more and more babies who grow up to be bitters? But then where would these beautiful little white trailer babies be with McCain’s small government and subsequently the non pain-inflicting taxes to pay for their food-stamp subsidized yoohoo and sour cream and onion potato chip fixes?
Itsjustme: WIN!
I just ate lunch, so I can be head of the FDA.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: Actually, it requires a minimum of agility, and I promise you your economic forecast will be hot and bothered.
rambone: Why has there been no story on Wonkette about Madame De Rothschild calling Obama an elitist? Funniest. Shit. Ever.
V572625694: Nah, I’m one of those reporters who hides behind the printed page because I won’t wear a lot of makeup and cut my hair in a bob. OK, I’m just not pretty enough. But I was homecoming queen of my high school… that mean I can be vice president, too!?
Sweet, McCain is going the McBain route and turning this whole thing into an action movie.
America, fuck yeah!!
So wait… the Obamists are going to actually make us PAY for the drunken-sailor spending that’s gone on over the past 8 years? Those BASTARDS. How bummed were the McCainunists when they found out that Don La Fontaine couldn’t do voice-over for this piece of crap?
Strictly for the Tardcore: You’re on. Meet in the Appropriations Hearing Room. Come prepared for a filibuster, cause I can go allllll night!
sezme: you forgot that he will use his power of taxes to turn all of your cute little white babies into horrible little black half-breed muslins!
Nizzles!: You can totes be prezzie. Then you can drink all the time!!
Strictly for the Tardcore: Seriously, when I thought your metaphor couldn’t get any better.
PoliTacky:
Wow, I need to watch it again!
Nizzles!: How many types of animals can you kill with your bare hands? Wait, wait, thats not it… How many types of animals can chase in a helicopter/plane until they are to exhausted to run anymore, and then shoot with your sniper rifle? You get bonus points for it being endangered.
P.S. The bob haircut will not work. You are going to need to grow your hair really long so you can pile it all up in some alt. beehive and secure it with the ever-fashionable banana clip. Then you too can be VP!
AngryBlakGuy: well, I have a serious drinking problems; so can I head the department of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms?!
One-third the way there.
– Do you smoke?
– Do you misplace all your possessions every few months?
http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/09/17/atf.missing.guns/index.html
Cogito Ergo Bibo: \o/
JadedDIssonance: Thank you folks, we’ve been great!
Strictly for the Tardcore:
Coulter was fired from MSNBC when she told the president of the Vietnam Veterans of America Foundation, himself a disabled Vietnam veteran, “No wonder you guys lost.”
Itsjustme: Possibly the Bear facts.
V572625694: Hey, that was my kid! But I know what you mean.
Nizzles!: You should speak up more often, Nizzles.
Carrie_Okie: Huh. I was introduced to her by way of Fixed Noise Network. I wonder why they didn’t bring that up?
InKnockYouUs: Yeah, clearly someone on the McCain campaign has seen “Fringe.” Their next ads will no doubt feature people with their jaws falling off to discuss health care and a dead 80-year-old baby to slam abortion.
The fact that you were the only person in 100 commenters to notice that they borrowed those big block letters from the show, however, points out the basic ineffectiveness of the ad (not to mention the lack of popularity of the show).
gurukalehuru: Hey, thanks! I just didn’t want to start with this beast for fear that my already terrible procrastination issues at work would worsen. And I was right.
Nizzles!:Where will they put all the people produced from women who were forced to have them?
FEMA Camps.
Maybe they can start making the real National ID cards.
Serolf Divad: Just repeating the tired old GOP meme that voting for any Dem means big government spending and bigger government.
As opposed to spending money you dont have, ie, putting a war on a credit card, bailing out the fat cats because you forgot they need rules and a referee, borrowing record amounts of money from China, etc.
“All kids deserve to die.”
Ah, somebody finally had the courage to say it–thanks Jim.
We need to get to building robots, pronto.
(& if you people think this is s***k, I suppose it is, but seriously, I hate your fucking kids)
“Change is coming”
..unless we can stop it!
Losing to McPain means 2 drinks, winning with Hopeism means 3 drinks, and buying 5 trillion dollars in housing mortgages means I get to push those fuckers off the building one by one until the debt has been paid. Or just slap them in the face with a donkey sized penis.
That commercial reminds me of http://lumiere.ens.fr/~alphapsy/blog/images/21701757_them_lg.jpg
Bullshit lies and fake antenna.