Wonkette
- Here’s Sarah Palin, dressed like an extra from Bonfire of the Vanities, talking about Alaskan national snowgames. [Matthew Yglesias]
- Carly Fiorina has been disappeared, and thus joins the ranks of every single person and tanning machine in Alaska plus one Ohioan teleprompter. [Daily Kos]
- McCain confirms his status as forgotten, tragic Hemingway character as he tells Hunting and Fishing magazine about some catfish, in Arizona, that he’s tried to catch for hundreds of years. I go fishing for catfish. The catfish I go fishing for are in Arizona. I have been trying to catch catfish for years in Arizona. Since the war, catfish have been good. [Jonathan Martin]
- HRC canceled a chance to protest Ahmadinejad just so she could avoid Sarah Palin, who will also be there for god knows what reason. [Top of the Ticket]
- It is literally impossible to overstate the importance of Matt Drudge and the Matt Drudge blog. [The Fix]
I’m surprised there’s room under the Straight Talk Express for Carly. Phil Gramm and the ton of bullshit he spit out has to be taking up a lot of room.
ARGH! I just heard that awful Caribou Barbie voice saying that the fundementals of the economy, meaning the American workforce, is strong.
Why can’t my sexy chocolate Obama bunny point out that the workforce is NOT strong? Unemployment is sky high. Even the very much white collar, cube-dwelling, jobs in my own corporation are being outsourced to India. Many can’t afford to miss work because they aren’t given sick days. Morale is as low as its ever been, while CEO’s have never been paid more.
At this point, I don’t care if Grampy had a senior moment and thought that the fundementals really were strong, or he was referring to the workers. Either way, he’s flippin’ WRONG.
Wait, did Sarah say “beaver roundup”?
Ah, fuck it. We’re a Third World country now. None of this is really important anymore. Let’s go worry about dengue fever, gang warfare in our slums, police protection rackets, how to bribe nurses at hospitals so we can get it, and about how to get an Ambassador gig to get a chance to just get the fuck out.
Im pretty sure catfish is a metaphor for pussy. Arizona pussy…ewwwww.
It was a damned good catfish Mac thought as he brought out the knife. Not like the catfish they had in Hanoi. No one knows why the catfish decided to try and climb Kilimanjaro. But there it was, frozen half way up. And Mac had found it. He’d hacked it out of the ice with his climbing axe and was eating it now. “Time to get some sleep” Mac thought to himself. “I’ve got to get some sleep if I’m going to shoot a lion tomorrow… with Sarah Palin just behind me, watching me finally come out from the shadow of her skit and be my own man.” Mac slept. And Sarah took to cleaning her 30.06 as he slept.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: Your job is only getting outsourced cuz there isn’t yet a Hindustani Wonkette yet. With up-the-skirt photos of Pratibha Patil and screen shots of Abdul Kalam’s kids myspace page.
so that’s where she learned her teleprompter skills of an artist
SuperRounder: Don’t forget the poor dumb bastard who claimed McCain invented the BlackBerry! And yet Tucker Bounds still lives.
Clerk: Yep, `General Sherman’. They say he’s five hundred pounds of
bottom-dwelling fury, don’t you know. No one knows how old he is, but
if you ask me (and most people do), he’s hundred years if he’s a day.
Customer: And uh no one’s ever caught him?
Clerk: Well, one fella came close. Went by the name of McCain. Seven feet
tall he was, with arms like tree trunks. His eyes were like steel,
cold, hard. Had a shock of hair, red like the fires of Hell.
I’m just waiting for Sean Hannity to announce his outrage at McCain referring to Palin as a “Catfish.”
Got to love 7 Houses Johnny trying to be folksy over catfish of all things. Next up, penny candy and “taters.”
Looks like Carly Fiorina is a failure at anything.
Go Carly, it’s ya birthday!
BTW, anyone see Rick Santorum on Hannity last night. Was he paralyzed from the neck down recently? Was it the sodomy?
HRC canceled a chance to protest Ahmadinejad just so she could avoid Sarah Palin, who will also be there for god knows what reason.
For God knows what? For leadership that’s what for God knows what!
StrangelyBrown: Conservative bullshit spouting douchebags named Tucker have nine lives (see Carlson, Tucker).
magic titty:
No, Rick never had a penis to begin with. Just chickenpox as a child.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: Oh, I dunno. The resemblance is pretty damn striking.
Forrest Tucker
Seeing as how Palin is basically the Christian female version of Ahmadinejad, I guess she’s protesting that he’s stepping on her lines?
Oh my. I had that hairstyle in 9th grade. Still don’t have all the hairspray out.
The most irritating thing about that catfish story is that you just KNOW McCain pronounces it “catfeesh”.
sanantonerose: Words can’t express. Is there such a thing as a fem-mullet?
mccain said, “…I have to admit to you I’ve never caught one of their trout….”.
he fished for trout? i thought he was in great pain all the time and couldn’t lift his arms. that was written up in some other crappy sportsmen’s mag, which was referenced yesterday.
i guess he’s been cured from his 5 1/2 year thing.
I though I put my comment on Joan Walsh’s haircut
on this thread.
Sorry.
Get Carly back in there! I told you folks many times, she is good for plenty more laughs!
Forget Carly. I’m still looking for Vickie Iseman. Now THAT’S disappeared!
ShoveMaggotPalin: Shemullet, actually.
Jimmy Carter’s rabbit can outswim, outfight and outwhittle John McCain’s catfish any day of the week.
NotLaughing: Or, presumably, to remind us again that she can pronounce “Ahmadinejad”.
If Palin were a Democrat, she’d be called everything that Republicans called Bill Clinton: Tawdry. Trashy. Low rent.
New Palin nickname: SheBubba.
I officially welcome Ms. Fiorina to Non-Person status. As the Appointed Spokesman for Special Non-People (ASS’N-P), I advise her to say whatever she likes, as it no longer matters.
Fiorina had zero national political experience, and yet McCain was putting her out front as a mouthpiece because she’s a woman. Lame.
http://www.entertonement.com/collections/3607/John-McCain-On-Running-Corporation