Wonkette
TPM has put together this pretty hilarious clip of highlights from Greta Van Susteren’s special interview with Todd Palin, which aired some time recently. Greta seems stoned off her ass and laughs at a number of her own jokes about the nickname “First Dude,” a term she brings up at least 700 times in her numerous bizarre mini-rants of unfiltered psychobabble. She stares at the ground a lot, and Todd Palin only knows 4-7 words in the entire English language. [TPM]
“First Dude” must be an honorary in Scientology, I guess.
The intellect is astounding…
I can’t bring myself to watch that, but I’m thinking maybe Greta wants him to impregnate her. ??? I also think she doesn’t know how to conduct an interview unless there’s a missing child, missing blonde girl or OJ Simpson involved.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0EGwDEbTzoE
I’m gonna go eat some paste…
I’ve seen basketball players give better interviews after a game.
And I remember thinking that if Palin became VP then her husband could raise the baby. Now I realize just how incredibly impossible that would actually be.
Dude, looks like Greta soiled her manties.
This shit gives fluff pieces a bad name.
What is wrong with Greta??? And I never want to hear the phrase “first dude” again in my life.
He’s a dude America! He’s a non-threatening hillbilly just like you! Vote for WALNUTS!
Did she have a stroke at birth? What’s up with her mouth?
Greta is makin’ her own gravy…
Jesus. I never want to hear the phrase First Dude again. I need to be Rick rolled to get that shit out of my head. And Greta? Just do him and be done with it.
I absolutely cannot bear watching that video again but I feel like some of the footage must be repeated because how could even Greta van Susteren keep saying “First D00d” for OVER THREE MINUTES??!? I mean how long must the whole interview have been if she spent a total of three minutes over the course of it talking about that?
To his credit, Todd Palin seemed more than a little frustrated with Greta’s behavior. He probably was expecting more questions about, say, his VP-hopeful wife or their family or something.
I, for one, welcome the New York Times’ new lightning-rod conservative.
Jeebus H. Christmas! If I hear “first dude” again, ever, I’m going to go out and kill a snowmobile. Greta? Shut. Up.
NoWireHangers:
Bad botox.
SuperRounder: Agreed. The water skiing squirrel and skate boarding bull dog have more gravitas than this lame interview.
Well, that earned my vote. 112 miles AN HOUR? AWESOME
He’s a fucking plank of wood!! No wonder SHE ties HIM up when they get it on!
Jeebus Christ it’s Earl Basset from the 1990’s movie Tremors except more retarded.
Greta’s facial looks like it was done at a Maaco shop.
I think I just threw up in my pants!
Remember, folks. Never drink and broadcast.
She soooooo fucked him. No doubt in my mind.
I had to switch that off halfway through. I’d rather watch Ralph Nader talking to his stupid fucking parrot.
Stop it, Republicans. Stop. First you killed “awesome” and now you’ve massacred “dude.”
Television 2008: Morons, by morons, and for morons.
NoWireHangers: Did she have a stroke at birth? What’s up with her mouth?
It’s all that pretti-fying face surgery Fox News forced her to undergo to make her suitable enough for air when they stole the little treasure away from CNN. I think they had to borrow some of her ass-skin for patching things up.
kill me. kill me now. flattened by ton o’ truck nutz plz.
Åw, and I used to have so much respect for her. Yeah.
I’m thinking that he’s the first dude that has to sleep with one eye open.
Displease the president in waiting and a lipstick stuck up his ass
would be getting off easy. Unless he likes getting off easy.
I can’t decide which scares me more: this interview, or the impending collapse of the global financial infrastructure.
Ehhh… I gotta go with the First Douche.
“Let me explain something to you. Um, I am not “Mr. Lebowski”. You’re Mr. Lebowski. I’m the Dude. So that’s what you call me. You know, that or, uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you’re not into the whole brevity thing.”
The really scary part? I think Todd might be the smart one in the family.
Wait. When did Todd learn to walk upright?
How ’bout dumb as a post?
It’s not even correct–if McCain gets elected and the Apolcalypse actually occurs, Todd would then be the “Second Dude” (Although, there is really only ONE Dude, and that is Jeffrey Lebowksi, and he would appreciate it if people didn’t mis-appropriate his name anymore)
Greta at 1:12: “This next part is fan-TAS-tic!!”
I think they edited a significant part of the interview out because there was nothing I could remotely — even if lying, even if waterboarded — describe as “fan-TAS-tic!!”
I used to be a reporter, and I learned nervous interviews (when one or both party is nervous) don’t go so well.
He seems like a simple, likeable stiff in over his head, and Greta seems like a dumbstruck fan girl.
Anyway, yeah, that interview was totally F’ing useless. Thanks, Faux Noise, for your always enlightening contributions to 21st Century discourse.
Uh. Duh. I guess. Duh.
Todd for President.
Palin/Palin 2008!
I actually felt kind of sorry for the guy. Perhaps he should have introduced Greta to an ice floe.
Urbanachiever: The dude abides.
Someone stick a pencil in my ear and kick it.
Why ? first dude is as interesting and as intelligent as stucco.
I hear Lady Rothschild and Greta’s husband are going to fuck live on PPV in what the GOP is billing “Hilltards Gone Wild”
http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalpunch/2008/09/prominent-clint.html
He actually knows only one word, but in Yu’pik Eskimo, there are 7 words for “Huh?”.
TheRealJimbo: You beat me to it! Blurg!
Also? Awesome!
I must confess, I was suitably impressed by his subtle take on the Bush doctrine of preemption. I can’t say I agree with him, but when he contrasts it to the Church’s “Just War” doctrine and the way it has evolved over the past eight centuries, when he brings in historical analogues such as Demosthenes’ third Phillipic warning the people of Athens of the impending threat posed by the expansionistic Macedonian kingdom to the North, when he shows such depth of knowledge of the writings of Islamic and Arabic scholars going back all the way to Avicena and Averroes and as recently as Edward Said’s influential works… I feel confident that Palin has as solid an adviser at home as she is likely to find in Washington.
fair and balanced. i got thru exactly half of it.
She reminds me of those people who won’t back down from their horrible joke until someone finally laughs at it.
JUST LAUGH AT THE DAMN, HORRIBLE, JOKE TODD! DO US ALL A FAVOR!
A- Yes, Sharply. B-She is crazy about him. He must have rubbed himself in moose pheromones. C- After all that build-up WE STILL DON”T KNOW HOW HE GOT THE NAME ‘FIRST DUDE’!!! Where did it come from? Who thought it up?? Oh, wait, it’s just one of those stupid things, that nobody cares who thought it up, right?
Every time she says “dude”, it’s like she’s punching the word in the face. CHRIST GRETA NOT SO HEAVY ON THE INITAL “D” OK?
So this is how the world ends. Not with a bang, but with a dude.
I hate to go there…but…I can see who baby Trig inherited his “special” genes from. Jesus.
You Got It Dude!
holy shit. another bloodbath on wall st today…
Todd Palin–”Yeah Moose meat is real good, but it would taste even gooder if it were, ya know, endangered or close to extinction.”
By the way, would somebody please feed Greta to the wolves. While they prefer the meat of a Palin, they will gladly enjoy a Faux news anchor if offered.
“Mm-hm. Yeah. No. Uh-uh. Uh-huh.”
“It was a great speech, y’know? Least ways, from what I understanded of it…”
Serolf Divad: Hey man, did all that stuff you mentioned happen before or after Jesus?
He clearly HATES — HATES — being called “First Dude” but he’s too nice to tell her to shut the fuck up.
Serolf Divad: You took the words right out of my mouth. Freaky.
Is she related to the Greta Van Susteren that used to work for CNN?
NoWireHangers: too much botox.
I haven’t seen Greta since, I don’t know, the OJ trial maybe. When did she get the lobotomy?
Aw, he’s just a big dumb mutt - the kind America loves. Let him have his squeaky toy and leave him alone.
SlouchingTowardsWasilla: Not a lobotomy. She’s ’shrooming
This interview hurts my feelings. I miss Greta’s old face. She was smarter with her old face. Now she can only open her lips wide enough to say about six words. And as for Todd P…gosh, this is a real brain trust, this pair.
first tool
dano: That explains a lot. Hallucinogens - the only way to make an interview with The First Dude (TM) remotely interesting. Try it today!
Greta - McDonald’s called, it seems there was a mix up with the Happy Meals. Anyway, they want the law degree back.
So, did anybody ever wonder why Sam Elliot, in the intro to the Big Lebowski says “…Now, ‘Dude’ - there’s a name no man would self-apply where I come from…”?
It’s because it’s even less flattering than you expect–if you think it’s surfer talk. It’s not, it’s cowboy talk.
A “Dude” is a pimple on a horses’ ass.
Dude, I think Greta was first a dude herself. god i hate her fucking voice and her stupid fucking face. Also, i think she has a MAJOR boner for the first dude…. dude.
Why is Greta Van Susteren acting like Jackie Harris on a blind date with one of Dan’s friends.
Either Greta has been taking advantage of Alaska’s notoriously weak marijuana laws…,
Or she hasn’t been laid in a long time.
I’m not sure which is more likely.
If the Owen Wilson in drag lookalikes questions were any less ‘hardball’, I’d be thinking he/she can’t possibly be from FOX ‘news,’ The Oreilley/Hannity Pitbull channel.
I’m glad they edited out the parts where she giggled like a schoolgirl meeting the lead singer of a boy band.
And her dark pants do a great job of hiding the wet spot.
http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?search=dude&searchmode=none
teebob2000: “He clearly HATES — HATES — being called “First Dude” but he’s too nice to tell her to shut the fuck up.”
Yeah, that’s the impression I got. And Greta is so stupid, even when he tells her he’d rather be called Todd, she keeps call him him Dood. I’m glad somebody put this together, because Greta deserves to be mocked forever about it.
I knew Greta some years ago when she was a just a lawyer. The Greta I knew seemed pretty smart, what did CNN do to her, (besides her face), to make her so stupid?
that is the funniest thing i have seen in a very long time.
Greta’s lucky Todd didn’t mistake her for a moose and start field-dressing her on the spot.
dano: Water ski squirrel ‘08!!!
Todd either has a big bank account or a big dick. There’s no way he’s so stupid at his age without some sort of large endowment.
It reminded me of two SNL sketch series from the 90s: first, the ones in which Chris Farley plays this fanboi who can’t help tossing stupid questions to his heroes (McCartney, Springsteen were two of the victims); second, Will Farrell as Harry Carey. Can’t blame the Toddster for not having much to say, given what he had to work with.
NoWireHangers: hahgahah win.
Hey, this guy gets me, he speaks my word thingys. Its hard to pull off the stunning good looks and Alaskan intellect. Hes a maverick with truck nutz.
AnnieGetYourFun: He’s the male equiv of Laura B.
Damn liberal elite press.
maybe she’s just applying to be in the Budweiser’s next “dude” commercial.
The best response to Greta I can think of can only be expressed in the form of early 90’s thrash metal.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEr8SYqTc3s
Wow, that was pretty fun, that was pretty exciting, Greta. Of course, now I’m not going to be able to get her inflection on “dude” out of my brain for about three days.
Aw, hell!!! After that I have to trash my copy of The Big Lewbowski…that dude surely does NOT abide. And Greta: Shut the fuck up, Donny!
DANGEROUS!
Well at least this dood is not all talky talky. Quiet. I like that in a woodsman.
This one time, at First Dude Band Camp, it was so funny…
I know The Dude. The Dude is a friend of mine. And you, Todd, are no dude.
Also, their freezer is stocked with what, again? cari-BOO?
Since we had yet to actually here el primo duderinos voice I had only assumed that it was because he emitted a horrible pitch shrieking tone every time he opened his mouth.
AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!!
He’s dumb as dirt, but I’d hit it.
lol@this!!!
This video is just what we need to replace waterboarding.
sanantonerose: Don’t be too charmed. He and Levi are likely not surrogate caliber. As much as Sarah’s being coached to say the right thing, these boys are being drilled to just look pretty and not say anything. Which may completely work for you, don’t let me interfere with your hobbies.
Greta Van Susteren has suffered a tragic case of Bell’s palsy or a hilarious case of plastic surgery.
So, remember on The Office when that woman came in to sell handbags and Michael Hits on her really aggressively? And then Jim ends up dating her? I just suddenly got an urge to watch that episode.
“First Dude?” You can’t make a Bill & Ted Movie without George Carlin. Just a little something to mull over, Greta.
That’s the dumbest blond I’ve ever seen.
JSDC007: That’s EXACTLY what Sarah said!