Wonkette
So once upon a time in a small town in Kenya, people kept having a lot of car accidents. A local pastor named Thomas Muthee of course blamed a “demonic influence” for this problem where people crashed their cars into each other, and some lady had to leave town before everybody killed her to death for being a witch. And then! The pastor visited Sarah Palin’s church in Alaska and asked God to make her governor.
Ha ha, it all sounds pretty nuts right? Except that it is ALL TRUE, every word of it. Here looky:
At a speech at the Wasilla Assembly of God on June 8 this year, Mrs Palin described how Thomas Muthee had laid his hands on her when he visited the church as a guest preacher in late 2005, prior to her successful gubernatorial bid.
In video footage of the speech, she is seen saying: “As I was mayor and Pastor Muthee was here and he was praying over me, and you know how he speaks and he’s so bold. And he was praying “Lord make a way, Lord make a way.”
[...] Pastor Muthee founded the Prayer Cave in 1989 in Kiambu, Kenya after “God spoke” to him and his late wife Margaret and called him to the country, according to the church’s website.
The pastor speaks of his offensive against a demonic presence in the town in a trailer for the evangelical video “Transformations”, made by Sentinel Group, a Christian research and information agency.
“We prayed, we fasted, the Lord showed us a spirit of witchcraft resting over the place,” Pastor Muthee says.
After the spirit was broken, the crime rate dropped to almost zero and there was “explosive church growth” while almost every bar in the town closed down, the video says.
A ha ha ha, Sarah Palin has a crazy black preacher problem too! Join the club!
Palin linked electoral success to prayer of Kenyan witchhunter [Times Online]
Holy preacher problem Batman!!!!!!
Will Palin’s preacher please bless my bank account, it has less money in it than I would like.
Did he say “Lord make a way, Lord make a way” when they were having anal sex? Just asking.
Witches is code for minorities, right? Or am I going to have to get a less demonic broom?
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Less taxes and more witchcraft!
McCain/Palin
Hmmm… What business does the Preacher Muthee have poking around in Sarah Palin’s “prayer cave”? Seems awfully fishy to me.
Ewwww, “Prayer Cave”. Nothing creepy about that name, nope nope nope.
ManchuCandidate: Now, now, we all know conservatives are deathly afraid of the butt sex. Although in Caribou Barbie’s case, I highly recommend that she take in the butt, so she’ll stop producing children with white trash names.
…take it from me: African preachers are an entirely NEW LEVEL crazy! Just a little tip, keep Sarah Palin away from your crops and livestock!
Lord, I pray thee to remove the curse of Bush/Cheney which has laid waste to our land for almost 8 years.
Only don’t let loose the demon form the frontier upon us. Thank you lord.
…after Pastor Muthee declared Mama Jane a witch, the townspeople became suspicious and began to turn on her, demanding that she be stoned. Public outrage eventually led the police to raid her home, where they fired gunshots, killing a pet python which they believed to be a demon.
So Sarah Palin’s been blessed by someone whose greatest achievement is whipping up an angry mob into terrorizing an old lady and running her out of town, because her witchcraft was — um — causing car accidents. That’s pretty much on par with the level of rational thought I’ve come to expect from Republican administrations.
I thought she went to this church:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObhvOeNCKhs
Delicious: That’s not right.
More taxes and more witchcraft!
Obama/Biden
I thought the Kenyans were voting for Obama what with his father being Kenyan and all. So Palin is also taking the Kenyan vote as well as the white middle age woman vote?
She let a black man lay hands on her? Uh oh, WALNUTS, there goes the Bible Belt.
Another link in the worldwide Kenyan conspiracy against the Obama family revealed,
http://wonkette.com/402755/somebody-tried-to-steal-barack-obamas-grandmothers-solar-panel-in-kenya#comments
“Pastor Muthee’s career came to a tragically abrupt end when he was vanquished by three plucky students from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.”
Maybe Captain Howdy can close down all the meth labs that sprung up in place of the government-licensed and legal, tax revenue-generating watering holes in Wasilla and environs…until we find out its really Pazuzu.
Don’t piss her off, or she’ll turn you into Newt (Gingrich).
Sounds like Sarah is great friends with that creepy African dude. I just hope she doesn’t let him get her on the scales with a duck.
With Sarah in the white house we’ll all be living a M. Night Shyamalan film.
“The pastor… founded his ministry with a witchhunt against a Kenyan woman who he accused of causing car accidents through demonic spells.”
Car accidents? Does Ted Kennedy finally have an excuse?
A Black preacher from a Prayer Cave laying the hands on Sarah Palin?
the adult film possibilities are endless.
…paging Mr. Marcus…paging Mr. Marcus…
Rev. Muthee is the one I buy my MAGIC AIDS POTION from.
Today I’m introducing Democrat by Design, the best darn partisan poster project on the web. Every day between now and the election we post a new, free, high res poster for easy download, print and post.
http://www.democratbydesign.typepad.com
Get thee to the Prayer Cave, woman!
“After the spirit was broken, the crime rate dropped to almost zero and there was “explosive church growth” while almost every bar in the town closed down, the video says.”
Well, hell, why isn’t this guy doing the inner city lecture circuit? They could all use less crime & ‘explosive church growth’. Does he also turn the black people into white? Because this town now sounds like Stepfordville USA.
Did the pastor cum in the name of the Lord right in her prayer cave?
AngryBlakGuy: What does infamous General Butt Naked think about all this?
Jesus, and I thought the Vatican was mid-evil…
“Lord, make a way, make a way! Make a way for me to expatriate this $2 million in perfectly good funds I have in a Keynan bank account, needing only your small good faith deposit and PIN number, people of Wasilla.”
Hunter Gathers: This just proves that Sarah Palin is made of wood.
So is Thomas Muthee part of this witch hunt that is going on in Alaska now?
And Pastor Muthee also prayed for McCain to invent ‘a blackberry’ and see it happened you democratard sore loosers!
freakishlystrong: Surely you don’t actually mean “mid-evil”?
Justin was raised from a vegetable state! Hallelujah!
http://www.prayerlinksministries.com/Testimonies.htm
Ridding the town of witchcraft didn’t seem so bad until I read that all of the bars closed. That’s not change we can believe in.
“We prayed, we fasted, the Lord showed us a spirit of witchcraft resting over the place,” Pastor Muthee says.
“Gettin’ warmer…warmer…gettin’ hot…nah, yer gettin’ cooler…”
You don’t think they meant just the witch bars, PerhapsSo?
At a speech at the Wasilla Assembly of God on June 8 this year, Mrs Palin described how Thomas Muthee had laid his hands on her when he visited the church as a guest preacher in late 2005, prior to her successful gubernatorial bid.
PALIN/THOMPSON TWINS ‘08!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
agentstinky: Nah..probably ALL-evil…
Kenyan Black Preascher??? Sarah Palin has been moose-hexed by a MUSLIN!!!!!
Hmm… Oh yadders, stoffing his beeg bold Kenyawn haynds into my naughty prayer cave, wheech he found in 1980whatever.
“The pastor speaks of his offensive against a demonic presence in the town in a trailer…” I love that line, but isn’t everything is Whasillahtah offensive and in a trailer?
Oh, and he was saying “Lord, make me gay”. You’d wish for gayness if you encountered the evil lurking within her prayer canyon.
“After the spirit was broken, the crime rate dropped to almost zero and there was “explosive church growth” while almost every bar in the town closed down, the video says.” They conveniently left out the fact that “crime” is now referred to as “demon possession” and “bars” are now “communion houses”, so sure, whatever. Wasilla is now the meth-earmark-communion-demon possession capital of the entire universe.
See, this is the kind of shit I’ve been waiting for. I just fucking know there’s video of Palin speaking in tongues or foaming at the mouth at some anti-baby-killing rally. RELEASE SAID VIDEO POST HASTE, ALL-SEEING GODS OF YOU-TUBERY: THE MOB MUST BE FED.
“Lord, make way! Lord, make way!! I’m comin’ to join ya and baby Jeebuz in heaven, because I can’t live no more thinkin’ this Twatwaffle might become Preznit!!”
I’m guessing she’s also a big fan of Bobby “the exorcist” Jindal.
So, the only way to get witches out of Kenya (who cause traffic accidents via demonic python) is by traveling to some meth-church in Wasilla and “laying hands” on a lady mayor. This seems like an awful lot of red tape. Can’t that Maverick reformer reduce this kind of regulation on witchhunting to make it easier on every prayer cave?
By the by, I’m sure Sarah has handled tougher witches than this gal before.
Wow, um, you guys should really go read the comments for that article, because they are completely terrifying. Apparently the bitters believe in witchcraft now?
“Witches are a serious problem, and Africans seem to recognise the spiritual realm much more than northern europeans.”
Actually, I’m impressed! She actually let a black man lay hands on her!
That won’t go over well with her KKK constituents…
I think its clear Mama Jane through her witchcraft destroyed our financial system in revenge for the good preacher’s exposing her dealings with the devil. Sarah Palin should send in a SWAT team to Kenya, and then we should rip the witch limb from limb and scatter her entrails over Wall Street while speaking in tongues. That would save our financial system and show who’s really chosen by God to rule over our holy America, like the founding fathers in Salem.
Then Alaska can fulfill its true destiny, secede from the ungodly USA, and lead the world to a new spiritual order as is the will of Todd (rhymes with God).
Well… We can poke fun ’til the cows come home, but don’t loose sight of the fact that we’re basically at 50/50. Here we are, just weeks from a national election, and one of our national candidates associates with a well known witch hunter. She also attends a church that believes in speaking in tongues. Approximately fifty percent of our citizens either don’t care, or they’re actually energized by the prospect. That thought should give us pause.
I have live video of Pastor Muthee and the real Sarah Palin witch hunt. See link below…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1Mo9N67R0k
I can’t resist the quote from Bell, Book And Candle, “…There’s no such thing as witches, just people who can’t spell! This is the new face of feminism?