• May 27, 2012

Bob Barr Will Be President Of Texas!

by Sara K. Smith  10:15 am September 17, 2008

President of Punctual PaperworkThe State of Texas says you must file to be on the presidential ballot 70 days before the election, and both Barack Obama and John McCain allegedly missed the deadline, so now whackadoodle Libertarian Bob Barr will be President of Texas while the rest of the nation has to make do with the geezer or the other guy.

The Official State Rule is that you have to provide written certification of your party’s nomination 70 days before the election, which was hard for Obama and McCain to do, as neither person had their party’s official nod at that point. Some hump over at the Texas Secretary of State’s office said this would all be fine because Obama and McCain had in fact complied with the rules and “supplemented” their earlier filings, but what does that gal know? Everybody knows that elections officials are proudly and malevolently ignorant, which is why this nutbag Libertarian who stole the crown from St. Ron Paul will steal the election, too, by being the only person on the ballot in Texas.

Barr files suit to remove Obama and McCain from Texas ballot [Postcards from the Lege]

{ 47 comments }

superfecta September 17, 2008 at 10:19 am

Can we do the same for the other red states?

cal September 17, 2008 at 10:19 am

B-B-B-Bob B-B-B-Barr!

Bob Barr!

SuperRounder September 17, 2008 at 10:21 am

Awesome. Obama wasn’t going to win Texas anyway. And this would piss off the Paultards worse than a bigger Department of Education budget.

Viva la Cynthia September 17, 2008 at 10:24 am

AWESOME.

gurukalehuru September 17, 2008 at 10:26 am

Go, Bob, Go!

Walter Sobchak September 17, 2008 at 10:27 am

Sweeeeet. I officially love Bob Barr.

CrunchyKnee September 17, 2008 at 10:28 am

Texas is the Alaska of the United States.

Larry Fine September 17, 2008 at 10:28 am

Texans should write-in-vote favorite daughter Peggy Hill, then have her stand next to Tina Fey and Sarah Palin and try to guess who’s who.

Viva la Cynthia September 17, 2008 at 10:29 am

Nice alt text on the picture, by the way.

obfuscator September 17, 2008 at 10:31 am

[re=98721]Larry Fine[/re]: Cotton Hill next to Jammakain?

Terry September 17, 2008 at 10:31 am

Off topic, but Bob Barr is a butt ugly man inside and out.

averyspecialjoedonbakerxmas September 17, 2008 at 10:31 am

That’s okay. We weren’t going to use the vote wisely, anyhow.

WadISay September 17, 2008 at 10:34 am

Libertarians suing to enforce rules? The irony just keeps on comin’.

Serolf Divad September 17, 2008 at 10:35 am

Docking 34 electoral votes from John McCain would make Ross Perot’s third party candidacy look like a gift to George H. W. Bush by comparison.

I never thought I’d say this, but: Godspeed, Bob Barr! May you prevail in your self-evidently just cause!

obfuscator September 17, 2008 at 10:37 am

I really object to his lips and his moustache.

MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend September 17, 2008 at 10:37 am

I don’t know about you guys, but I kinda hope he wins his lawsuit. McCain would be totally screwed and the rest of us could laugh and be happy.

Baseproduct September 17, 2008 at 10:37 am

Oh, how I hope Bob Barr wins his suit.

Cape Clod September 17, 2008 at 10:38 am

Someone tell San Antonio Rose that she has a new Libertarian overlord.

chitownlib September 17, 2008 at 10:42 am

[re=98739]Serolf Divad[/re]: Totally…the man is horrific, but he must prevail (in Texas). It would make this election unfathomably amazing.

Although, I bet McCain could win as a write-in. Texas is not exactly a swing state.

irisheyes September 17, 2008 at 10:42 am

It would make that whole Florida/Michigan Primary thing look small. Can you even imagine the apoplectic fits of rage WALNUTS might have? While Hopey is all, “It’s cool, rules are rules, I get it..” Ohhh it would be delicious.

magic titty September 17, 2008 at 10:44 am

even if their names weren’t on the ballot, people would write in McCain or Obama anyway. Just to say Fuck You Bob Barr.

And I can’t blame them.

Smackdown September 17, 2008 at 10:49 am

I don’t know – I live in Texas and I’m pretty sure there’s a huge population of retards who wouldn’t know how to write anything. “Y’all mean I cain’t just circle one?”

wheelie September 17, 2008 at 10:50 am

Rev Jeremiah Wright is looking very pale. I hope he’s ok.

azw88 September 17, 2008 at 10:52 am

I heard Barr talk about this a month ago (on XMRadio’s POTUS08), and surprised that the story didn’t get much play in the MSM.
It will be interesting to see if Texas, a law and order state if there ever was one, actually adheres to the rule of law and strikes McCain and Obama from the ballot or will they shit on their own state constitution just as the ‘Clown from Crawford’ has shat upon the US Constitution.

[re=98723]Viva la Cynthia[/re]: Good catch and thanks for pointing it out!

grevillea September 17, 2008 at 11:03 am

[re=98725]Terry[/re]: I’ll take your word on the last part…

masterdebater September 17, 2008 at 11:04 am

I think we should let the court decide…no, wait.

grevillea September 17, 2008 at 11:12 am

[re=98804]grevillea[/re]: I mean the first part!

Texan Bulldoggette September 17, 2008 at 11:15 am

I say good. He can’t be any worse than W & Rick “Good Hair” Perry, our currently esteemed governor.
That being said, it would be funny if Walnuts managed to not win TX. Hee hee hee…

S.Luggo September 17, 2008 at 11:16 am

[re=98760]chitownlib[/re]: About a McCain write-in win, your assuming that his constituency has mastered use of the opposable thumb.

Miller September 17, 2008 at 11:28 am

Call me when Obama and McCain get the chair for this. It’s Texas, it’s probably the standard punishment for late filing. Do you think they’ll make McCain sit on Obama’s lap to get fried or vice versa?

http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

rev_matt_y September 17, 2008 at 11:48 am

And of course the write in option may hinge on how specific the rules are regarding write in candidates. If they just write in “McCain” it may not count for Arizona Senator John McCain, candidate for the Republican Party, if they write “Barry Hussein” it probably wouldn’t count for Illinois Senator Barack Hussein Obama. Man, I hope he succeeds because it would make this the most entertaining election EVER regardless of ultimate outcome.

tropaean September 17, 2008 at 12:01 pm

Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please.

OzoneTom September 17, 2008 at 12:01 pm

Rick Perry’s in the tank for the Republican overlords. Last I hear he is still keeping the media away from Hurricane Ike’s most devastated areas so that people won’t start thinking Republican failures/Katrina II. That approach worked well in Myanmar.

I doubt that there will be any trouble ignoring the state constitution. After all laws are just a tool to serve the ruling party.

Baconcat September 17, 2008 at 12:15 pm

[re=98721]Larry Fine[/re]: Peggy Hill is from Montana.

SayItWithWookies September 17, 2008 at 12:49 pm

Isn’t this a four-year ritual? Some states allow this sort of thing for the major parties, and then the Libertarians come by, saying it’s a violation of the Posse Comitatus Act or that the income tax is unconstitutional or that they’re homesteading or some 19th century bullcrap, and we all have a good laugh and ignore them? I’m pretty sure that’s how this is gonna play out.

Lascauxcaveman September 17, 2008 at 1:15 pm

I say make Walnuts sweat it out on the write ins. If he has to spend a couple millions in informational ads for Lone Star repulitards who need help spelling “MacKlaine,” that’s a couple millions less spent on demonizing scary black people.

Mr. Herpes September 17, 2008 at 1:19 pm

If Barr just get some Speed Racer glasses like Moosegirl, he have an outside shot at getting laid, and then he could just go away and stop bothering people.

MARCdMan September 17, 2008 at 1:46 pm

I hope he wins, for the sheer comedic value of it. Imagine the railings against “activist judges,” especially since Dubya probably appointed them.

Maus September 17, 2008 at 2:18 pm

[re=98775]azw88[/re]: “It will be interesting to see if Texas, a law and order state if there ever was one, actually adheres to the rule of law and strikes McCain and Obama from the ballot or will they shit on their own state constitution just as the ‘Clown from Crawford’ has shat upon the US Constitution. ”

As the libertopians love to regurgitate: STATES RIGHTS!!!!!!!

Vanity Smurf September 17, 2008 at 2:26 pm

Bob Barr? What’s an elephant from French West Africa doing on the Libertarian ticket? Talk about unconstitutional.

huertanix September 17, 2008 at 2:28 pm

Texas Giveth, Texas Taketh away…

Number6 September 17, 2008 at 2:41 pm

Walnuts missed the *write-in* deadline too, so even that won’t work. If Barr wins the case the Repubs are screwed. As for him “suing” McCain, McCain sued him first trying to get him off the PA ballot and lost. Sec. of States are hyper-techincal with third parties, but I guess some animals are more equal than others.

sanantonerose September 17, 2008 at 4:33 pm

[re=98749]Cape Clod[/re]: *zzzzzz…snort snerk* WHAT??!! LIBRARIANS AS OVERLORDS? Fine. Just put me on whatever committees are left. *zzzzzzzz*

Sabre_Justice September 17, 2008 at 6:57 pm

…this guy is the whitest guy to ever exist.

civan93 September 17, 2008 at 9:57 pm

After he takes Texas, can I have his glasses?

azw88 September 17, 2008 at 10:08 pm

Hey, if this happens, it could be that NO ONE gets the 270 needed and the vote goes to the HOUSE of REPS….

at that point, ANYTHING can happen!!

toastandlove September 18, 2008 at 7:27 am

Ron Paul will still win here anyway.

Fuck me time to drink.

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