The Democratic presidential candidate constantly condescends to Ordinary Americans by saying, “you’re smarter than Washington gives you credit for,” and “I have great faith in the intelligence of the American people,” and by asking voters to “read” and “think about” things. OH SNOOZE. Well, here is his latest bit of elitist propaganda: two minutes talking into a camera about how everybody’s poor but he has a Plan to fix it. This ad would have improved by at least 50 percent if he had worn a bear suit, talked to a parrot, or been “disrespectful” to whatserface, the one with the snow shoes. [“Plan for Change” ad via Mike Allen]

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  1. “I hope you’ll read my economic plan” = FAIL.

    I’m sorry, but unless Obama releases it in Chick Comic format, he might as well be asking us to build a rocket ship to the moon and power it with fermented Lima beans.

    Also, this whole business about energy independence in 10 years… doesn’t he know that McCain’s going to wean us off Mideast oil in his first 100 days in office so we can start buying Eddie Bauer Edition Ford Expeditions again when gas is back down to 79 cents a gallon?

  2. Why isn’t he wearing a Vineyard Vines necktie? Now all the elitists won’t vote for him because he’s not ONE OF US.

    (True story: I am currently wearing a Vineyard Vines necktie that I bought in haughty Westport, Connecticut, so I am obviously NOT A REGULAR.)

  3. – Are you suggesting you have the ability to win an election in 2008 by appealing to Americans’ intelligence?

    – No, but I did film a campaign ad in a Holiday Inn Express last night.

  4. The bitters and the stoopids are not able to listen to anything longer than 30 seconds, tho’ a bear suit would’ve maybe bought him a few more….

  5. I don’t understand how he is going to wean us off mid-eastern oil without drilling for American oil. He’s just tilting at windmills.

  6. [re=98654]Serolf Divad[/re]: Exactly. No one is going to read your economic plan, Hopey. Who gave the candidates the right to assign me homework?

    Now if he had illustrated how he was going to kick the economy, regulators and oil companies in the ass by way of a ninja fight, that I might at least have enjoyed.

  7. Hopey’s speech in Golden Colorado yesterday was better than his last 5 ads combined. Who’s in charge of the advertisements for B. Jesus? A lobbyist for Big Coffee? You sure need a stiff shot of espresso after watching a couple of those ads.

    Maybe they could do an Obamarambo style action advertisement with explosions, and Walnuts! flying through the air. Palin could play the evil POW camp warden who started the war with Obamarambo with her cock teasing giggles and coy lip licking smiles. The ad could end with a shot of Palin subjugated by the Great Hope, and dying to have his love child. Michelle looks on with an “oh, no, you di’nt” attitude. Fade out on fist jab scene…

  8. I liked it, but then again I have more than 4 second attention span. The only thing stupid bitter crackers understand are ‘Drill, baby, drill’ and ‘Maverick’!!
    Walnuts’ new ad says “I’ll reform Wall St. and fix Washington — I’ve taken on tougher guys than this before.”
    Really? Of whom is he speaking of?

  9. Reminds me of the C. Montgomery Burns vs. Governor Bailey matchup.

    Governor Bailey: My worthy opponent thinks that the voters of this state are gullible fools. I, however, prefer to rely on their intelligence and good judgment.

    Reporter (sarcastically): Interesting strategy.

  10. Sorry I can’t be snarky here, but my god!

    One major piece of evidence which proves my theory that I live on Bizarro Earth rather than the real place is that this guy isn’t leading in the polls by 60%.

  11. This ad, same copy, would be more effective if it were:
    * Read at a NASCAR event
    * Holding a beer
    * By the Obama girl.
    Do we have to think of everything around here?

  12. “This ad would have improved by at least 50 percent if he had worn a bear suit, talked to a parrot, or been “disrespectful” to whatserface, the one with the snow shoes.”

    …or if he had been naked.

  13. [re=98696]Servo[/re]: Didn’t they kick the shit out of him FOR 5 AND A HALF YEARS? That means Walnuts will take the same amount of time to think of a plan to ‘fix Warshington’. We are all fucked.

  14. [re=98654]Serolf Divad[/re]: I think he understands Americans better than we give him credit for:

    I hope you’ll read my plan = There’s good stuff in there for me = It must be a good plan = No need to read it!

    His economic plan might have fantastic visions of elves liberating us from our robot masters, all I know is that shit must be good!

  15. Americans + Thinking = Fail

    Democrats always shoot themselves in the foot with this crap. Republicans love anti-intellectual propaganda.

    Don’t pull a John Kerry, Hopey!

  16. [re=98702]superfecta[/re]: Hhhhhmmmmmmm……by that logic, the only way Walnuts will reform ‘warshington’ is to indict him. Which I totally support.
    Indict Walnuts ’08

  17. [re=98673]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: Solar, Wind, Tidal, Nuclear,
    Biomass, etc…
    Join us, Canmon. We promise not to remind you, too often, that you were once a dick.

  18. [re=98701]Hunter Gathers[/re]:
    Actually, it was his ESCAPAC ejection seat and his failure to adhere to proper NATOPS ejection procedures that broke his little arms. They mostly ignored his wounds until they discovered who was his daddy. Then they fixed him up so they could kick his ass…but not thoroughly enough.

  19. I agree Hopey needs to dumb it down, but just a bit. Is it safe to presume you’ve all seen “The War Room?” To take a hint from 1992 Clinton, Hopey needs to talk strictly about: “change vs. more of the same; it’s the economy, stupid; and don’t forget about health care.” And, presto, instant president. Plus, I assume that means he’ll have all the interns he could want after he gets to the White House (though there was never any doubt about that part).

  20. [[re=98716]Servo[/re]: You learn something new everyday. Now if only he could harness the awesome power of his Blackberry inventing brain and fix what his stubborn ass broke (the economy).

  21. Actually, I thought it was pretty good.
    I do want to see more ads with the word “liar” in them, though. That’s a winning theme. Whatever my opponent says, you can’t believe it, because he’s a liar. Hey, fly boy, we’re calling you a liar! Waddya say to that? Are you a liar? Fucking pussy.

  22. “SHARED responsibility,” Barry?????? Say you didn’t say that! Even the party responsible for all this shit won’t take responsibility.

    Oh, sweet Jeebus, he’s gonna blow this possibility. Run a million ads about McCain’s houses STAT!!!

  23. [re=98705]WagTehGod[/re]:

    I hope you’ll read my plan = There’s good stuff in there for me = It must be a good plan = No need to read it!

    Wow… you’ve just nailed the thought process that led me to skip over Theucidides’ The Peloponnesian Wars all those yearss ago in my college “great books” course!

  24. [re=98692]Josh Fruhlinger[/re]: Eep. You beat me to it.

    Why the hell isn’t his campaign just running Carly Fiorina talking over some screen shots of his economic advisors’ OpEds (“Nation of Whiners, “Quit Doling Out That Bad-Economy Line”), along with their dates (the latter ran YESTERDAY). Shit, am I going to have to learn how to do this myself? I’m Amurkin; I hates tuh lurnz.

  25. So, is there a cliff’s notes version of this ad.

    Two minutes is a REALLY long time for me to have to focus my attention, even if the speaker is a remarkably articulate colored fellow. Get the time down to 15 seconds and maybe some blinky lights and shiny objects would help?

  26. Not just snowshoes, but snowshoes with heels, to keep her booty elevated, so she can keep Todd coming back from his arctic refuge for more of that babymakin’ so she can pop out more pups and name them after truck parts.

  27. Puuuuuhleeeeze stop giving people credit for intelligence they don’t have!! Im with ainm on this one, get in the game run the smear ads or all you’ll have his nice memories of what a clean campaign you ran.

    On the other hand I wouldn’t want this mess right now either.

  28. [re=98754]Serolf Divad[/re]: Exactly. Americans are so dumb that if you actually invite them to read something they’ll forego the work and just assume it’s good. Hell, I have shelves of books in my office library that are “great books” that I’ve been secretly meaning to read at some point.

    But if someone actually asks me, well, hell yeah The Sun Also Rises was fuckin’ awesome.

  29. I gotta tell you guys. The Americans are so dumb line is getting real annoying. I like Barry asking people to judge for themselves. I hope this works out; if not, the girls still get a puppy!

  30. You really have to give him credit for trying. If he does win I actually believe there’s a distinct likelihood that he could change the tone of Washington.

  31. The only time this ad should be aired is when Grandpa Simpson and his adult living posse are hanging in the day room, waiting with baited breath for Matlock reruns or One Life to Live. They will actually watch long enough (and with the volume high enough) to see/hear the whole thing.

    Otherwise, we need nu-ku-ler negatives blaming the free-for-all neocons for the heckuva job they’ve been doing. Giving them an inch or saying that those of us who believe in some semblance of rules should bear any responsibility is the most fuck-tarded thing I’ve heard yet. Hit ’em and hit ’em and hit ’em again . . . and then kick them in the teeth.

    The thinker in me loves the ad. The fighter/pragmatist in me knows better.

  32. Two minutes is just long enough for me to get really distracted and slightly annoyed by those sticky-outy ears of his.

    And yet, if somehow he can actually get all the (literate) bitterz and middle class white male undecideds to acutually sit through the damn thing and listen, then we may have a new president.

    It’s the economy, stupid.

  33. [re=98793]WagTehGod[/re]: This might actually be (but I hope it’s not) a good time to crack that book open.

    Also, Barry’s voice on that video really makes me want to have a smoke. (Or perhaps it’s my financial future? HALP)

  34. ok. i luurv him. he can talk to me all day long. i want my O TV. However, I do think the idea that Americans can understand logic, reason, ideas, their own economic interests, complete sentences, anything resembling common sense, etc. may be a mistake. Completely broke Americans will look at this ad, and say. ‘That elitist negro is talking down to us. He’s not one of us, not like our girl Sarah. That’s who I’m voting for.’ And they’ll be saying this while somebody is filing the foreclosure papers on their house.

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