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Sarah Palin and the Softer Side of the Death Star

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'Charming to the last. You don't know how hard I found it, signing the order to terminate your life. 'Oh look what Alaskan numbskull Sarah Palin is wearing now: It’s an Imperial death smock, just like what’s his name, Peter Cushing, wore in the fascist movie Star Wars. Tomorrow, inevitably, she will wear a bear suit. [Gawker]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • DarkSynergy

    She will literally blow up the planet. All except the Hoth like station of Alaska.

  • CrunchyKnee

    I think that I’d rather vote for “some clown in a bear suit” any day over Darth Palin.

  • Vanity Smurf

    There are no Imperial women.

    Figure it out.

  • DarkSynergy

    [re=98370]CrunchyKnee[/re]: Darth Palin…. brilliant!

  • Whiskeybaby

    Isn’t that style what is known as a Mao collar? Communist!!! Why does Sarah Palin hate fashion and America?

  • Vanity Smurf

    Well, what else should we expect a fascist cunt to wear?

    This might call for a photoshop of her in the Princess Leia cast iron bikini chained to a Jabba McNasty.

  • ManchuCandidate

    [re=98372]Vanity Smurf[/re]:
    Why do you think they were so cranky and controlly?

  • Joehoya

    I believe it would be Grand Moff Palin.

  • Vanity Smurf

    [re=98373]DarkSynergy[/re]: An insult to both Cheney and Vader. She’s more of a Boss Hogg type — with lipstick!

  • Whiskeybaby

    Her endless jaw alone will destroy the world.

  • edgydrifter

    Have you ever met a conservative who didn’t get a plumpy seeing chicks in Nazi garb? She’s just giving the base some masterbatorium fodder.

  • SeminoleInDior

    I’ve never understood why people with full access to anything they want would STILL choose to dress like they shop at Burlington Coat Factory. It’s almost like the Republican Party got a hold of a truckload of clearance items destined for Goodwill, and bogarted that crap, too.

    These people are way too determined to convince us they are just like the rest of ‘Murica.

  • facehead

    [re=98376]Whiskeybaby[/re]: When she leans out the window in the morning to wave hello to Putin, she wants him to feel at ease.

  • Aurelio

    All Sarah needs is an Anti-Sex League red sash. Then she can go home and do her “duty to the party” by procreating more unfortunate infants with snowbilly moron and power-behind-the-throne hubby Todd “First Dood” Palin.

  • Hooray For Anything

    I think it would be stretching it to compare her to Grand Moff Tarkin. I think the more apt comparison would be the Dark Star’s cruise director who inexplicably becomes Grand Moff’s #2 due to radiation poisoning causing the onset of Moff’s senility.

  • Aurelio

    [re=98391]SeminoleInDior[/re]: The inspiration for this sartorial preference is Pat Nixon, who, according to her one-time Preznit hubby, the late Richard Nixon, did not own a fur coat, but instead, a “good Republican cloth coat.” The purpose of this PR nonsense is as you stated.

  • Whiskeybaby

    [re=98393]facehead[/re]: She hearts the forrenz.

  • WagTehGod

    Palin’s more Space Balls than Star Wars.

  • ManchuCandidate

    I’m guessing related to the Assholes?

  • Upthruster

    It’s the Dominatrix uniform for cold climates. I can totally see her with elbow-length leather gloves on while wearing this suit.

  • Rodney Badger

    I just read through today’s posts. Excellent job. You guys started strong with the Lawyer who got raped and robbed by a Denver tranny, and just kept delivering after that. Well done. . .

  • WagTehGod

    [re=98401]ManchuCandidate[/re]: On our Ludicrous Speed ride to hell.

  • ProfessorJukes

    Well, there’s fashionistas, and then there’s fascistas.

  • smellyal8r

    [re=98386]edgydrifter[/re]: Mebbe she can borrow those knee-length leather boots that Condi wore on her overseas trips…I’m not exactly sure what fashion statement Gov. Palin is shooting for here, but then again Cindy McCain wore millions of dollars worth of outfits and jewelry at the convention and everyone thought she looked like a pole dancer…Palin looks more like Miss Huan from Doonesbury.

  • Hooray For Anything

    You can put lipstick on the Grand Moff but he’s still the Grand Moff

  • Slappy Whyte

    Sarah Palin’s first foreign policy intiative: Bringing Orange Slices to Iraq at “Halftime”.

  • lilblackcorvette

    [re=98391]SeminoleInDior[/re]: I’m still waiting on some to explain Cindy’s convention wear choices!

  • Godot

    Sarah Palin = Ysanne Isard?

  • bcnjake

    Evacuate? In our moment of triumph? I think you overestimate their chances.

  • jimh

    [re=98399]WagTehGod[/re]: In the SpaceBalls universe it would be Grand MUFF Palin…

  • jimh

    [re=98418]bcnjake[/re]: btw, WIN.

  • ColdCupofHope

    She also looks the the female version of Captain America’s nemesis, Red Skull. But with sexy Tina Fey glasses.

    Great Jebus! It’s not hard to make this lady look nice. Can’t we all just make the lady look nice? MAKE IT WORK! Andre? Where’s Andre?

  • Keram2

    I guess since conservative women can’t show any skin, these are the consequences. Oh, and has anyone else noticed the similarities between John McCain’s skin and Bib Fortuna’s?

  • ManchuCandidate

    True, but Walnuts jowls are more Jabba-esque.

  • HomoPolitico

    [re=98422]ColdCupofHope[/re]: Maybe she could be the next challenge on Project Runway. Of course, with this seasons designers she’d still end up looking like a drag queen or Betty Page.

  • Advocatus_Diaboli

    I got nuthin, but I will say “hey Sarah, wear this”

  • InsidiousTuna

    Grand Milf Palin, blah blah blah… Star Wars puns aren’t my forte.

  • 2druk2phluq

    That’s not a death smock, it’s a speed suit. It’s the ultimate fashion statement for the super villain or mad scientist on the go. The cleverly disguised flap in the back means she doesn’t even have to come out of it to relieve herself. While it does come in pastel colors, she appears to have chosen one of the darker varieties (probably in keeping with her views on the force).

    Get it right, people. Professor Jukes obviously knows a speed suit when he sees one. It’s great for fascistas and children alike.

  • professor.cj

    The Republican image consultant is having fun playing Dress-Me-Up-Palin. Her look today is very Norma Kamali circa 1983, or very Airstrip One, 1984 [ ].

    The Alexis Carrington Board Room look can’t be far away. I hope they rented Bette Midler’s “Big Business.” The 80s are back, people. Huzzah!

  • Delicious

    If she is Darth Palin, then McCain is Senator Palpatine, who then becomes chancellor, and then in the interest of galactic peace, declares himself Emperor.

    Oh man, I just geeked myself.

  • loquaciousmusic

    I’m sure she’s wearing a “Promise Ring” with that ensemble.

  • Miller

    Since Star Wars happen a long long time ago, this is retro and thus considered hip. Imperial-chic is the new style, get you riding pants, high necked shirts, and space lasers now before you look like one of the unfashionable rubes that will be the first against the wall.

  • Uncle Al

    Bad clothes, maybe. But check out her beautiful tan!

  • The Helvetica Scenario

    Governor Palin. I recognized her foul stench when she was brought onboard the campaign.

  • Delicious

    Snark break…

    I’m listening to Olbermann and Maddow yukking it up about how “McCain invented the Blackberry.” He didn’t say that. His adviser said McCain’s work on the Senate Commerce Committee as the champion of telecommunications helped to create the Blackberry. I once thought Olbermann was the sane voice, the brave voice who would call out the prez. I thought Maddow was a smart commentator. But to play Fox News games to pander to the left is just as lame as being Fox News.

    Now back to what’s important…Less taxes and more war!!

  • Ojore

    Now, the MOFF I’d Like to…well.

  • natoslug

    [re=98367]DarkSynergy[/re]: Sarah Palin’s going to blow everyone on the planet? Wait, what?

  • Delicious

    [re=98446]The Helvetica Scenario[/re]: Are you saying like Obama, that she stinks like a fish?

    Interesting that the pundits didn’t want to go there.

    What was that Blue Oyster Cult song?

  • cal

    At least she will put a tanning bed in the Death Star.

  • twocanpete

    Maybe Sarah Palin could wear one of those funny pilgrim hats. You see, we now have her on tape saying that an Arican witch-hunter ‘prayed’ her into office. You got to see it to believe. I’ve been blogging.

  • Rush

    Join me Track, I’m your mother, let your anger go and we can rule the empire.

  • The Helvetica Scenario

    [re=98450]Delicious[/re]: Sorry, I’m just a regular kind of nerd, not a rock nerd. I was quoting Star Wars.

  • irisheyes

    [re=98447]Delicious[/re]: I’ve been hearing this story today as well. I was under the impression that the guy said here’s the miracle John McCain made happen and then held up his Blackberry. Do you know where I could find the full account of what he said?

  • rocktonsammy

    does she shave her coochie, because I want a bush in the white house

  • The Helvetica Scenario

    [re=98455]irisheyes[/re]: If the story gets cycled that Gore says he invented the internet, why not McCain inventing the Blackberry? Turnabout’s fair play, even a decade removed.

  • Delicious

    [re=98455]irisheyes[/re]: This isn’t comprehensive, but it includes the key quote:

  • irisheyes

    [re=98459]The Helvetica Scenario[/re]: I appreciate the urge to fuck’em over however we can…but there’s so much legitimate bullshit to call I don’t think there’s a need to exploit a misstatement if that’s what it was. But if the guy said here’s the thing McCain invented and then held up a Blackberry- I say run with it.

  • Delicious

    [re=98454]The Helvetica Scenario[/re]: Oh, I’m a SW nerd (loved the first two movies). Just decided to play off the stench reference.

    And ladies (the 3 that post here), no offense meant. Up close and personal is one of my fave activities. Oh shit. tmi

  • sanantonerose


  • Delicious

    [re=98458]rocktonsammy[/re]: I think that is explained on the McCain web site.

  • Delicious

    [re=98465]sanantonerose[/re]: That hurts. :(

  • irisheyes

    [re=98460]Delicious[/re]: Eh. It could go either way there.

  • lilblackcorvette

    [re=98447]Delicious[/re]: i’m watching rachel talk about troopergate. that ‘smile while rome is burning’ schtick only works on the tubes. i think that is the definition of snark.

  • rocktonsammy

    [re=98466]Delicious[/re]: shave baby shave

  • lilblackcorvette

    [re=98466]Delicious[/re]: oh yeah, that should clear things up……….

  • ladymacbeth

    [re=98464]Delicious[/re]: there are many of us X chromosomes here.

    but yeah, three ladies.

  • Delicious

    Somebody shoot me now. Night.

  • irisheyes

    [re=98479]ladymacbeth[/re]: Shall we take a head count? I’m one!

  • ladymacbeth

    [re=98482]irisheyes[/re]: lady or X chromosome?

    i’m an X…

    the other not so much. in spite of, you know, my name.

  • irisheyes

    [re=98487]ladymacbeth[/re]: I’d say lady out in the real world..which is why I like to come here and make dick jokes.

  • bhosp

    [re=98446]The Helvetica Scenario[/re]: I guess McCain decided he needed a MILF to “hold his leash,” wokka wokka.

  • btwbfdimho

    Darth Cheney sticking his lips on the pig

  • Packherd

    Hah! Sears joke!

  • jimh

    [re=98431]InsidiousTuna[/re]: Not bad that pun was.

  • Democratica

    Is anyone else completely sick of Carly Fiorino acting as the SEXISM POLICE? From MSNBC on Carly’s opinion of the SNL Fey/Poehler sketch: “The portrait was very dismissive of the substance of Sarah Palin, and so in that sense, they were defining Hillary Clinton as very substantive, and Sarah Palin as totally superficial,” McCain advisor Carly Fiorina told MSNBC’s Andrea Mitchell on Monday. “I think that continues the line of argument that is disrespectful in the extreme, and yes I would say sexist.”


  • sati demise

    [re=98447]Delicious[/re]: Yea, but dont we get to taunt them a l.i.t.t.l.e bit for how they treated Al Gore about his internet legislation?

    Just a bit of karma for the rabid right wing? It is out of our hands…

  • jimh

    [re=98515]Democratica[/re]: Someone should news flash Carly, they WERE ABSOLUTELY defining Hillary Clinton as very substantive, and Sarah Palin as totally superficial. And Guv’ner Palin has done nothing to prove them wrong thus far, so it’s a fair portrait. Dead-on accurate to pretty much everyone except the McCain campaign. Sexist? Hardly.

  • boomer

    It’s called Akris couture you misogynistic philistine.

  • fuzznuts

    She’s like Bush when he was the yell king, except she has
    both breasts and balls. Score Palin 2, Bush the usual 0.

    I have an idea for a new Sarah Palin sit-com, I’ll call it “That’s My Bush”.
    What, it’s been done? O.K., how about a religious comedy? I’ll call it
    “The Burning Bush”, with John McCain as Methuselah.

    By the way, what ever happened to boskolives?

  • HedonismBot
  • ummOKthen

    Er… I don’t think she’d wear a bear suit. Her supporters would gun her down via aircraft.

    She should probably do the world a favor and strap on a chastity belt, though.

  • gurukalehuru

    [re=98431]InsidiousTuna[/re]: Are you in a bad mood today, or what?

  • Words

    Please, note:Palin, bless her Barbie-Doll-mindless-fashionista soul (as we say in the South) knows just enough to wear Dark clothing after Labor Day!! (see ref. Jon Stewart, Daily Show: Laura Bush in white pant suit) — no light colored togs post-first Monday in Sept., kids!!

    And unfortunately, that’s about the extent of Ms. Palin’s knowledge/or care to know area— Buckle your seat belts, we’re in for a bumpy ride, kids! –:-(

  • njdon

    soon she’ll tell the inuit how she almost became vp. they’ll be thinkin’, “another wasilla drunken skank dream”.
    a thousand years from now they will tell stories around the campfire how, dances-with-moose, built a great bridge to the land of the fog.

  • schvitzatura

    Will the audience convene at one fifteen
    outside Wasilla Town Hall where we will be…

  • Borat

    What kind of snowbilly sepratist pin or alien communications device does she wear. Call her out on this Stefanapolis!

  • facehead

    Despite everything that has been said, I decided to put lipstick on a pig,
    and to my amazement it transmogrified into a beautiful giant butterfly,
    filled with love and compassion for everyone.

  • Servo

    The first woman VP candidate for the GOP and suddenly they’re the champions of anti-sexism? Huh?

  • Sir Gaywad Baggington-Douchely von Suck

    Y’know, if Sarah Palin actually decided to wear a bear PROOF suit for the rest of the campaign, I might actually vote for her.

  • Anita Cocktail

    [re=98391]SeminoleInDior[/re]: Not Cindy, though. She lerves her $300K convention outfits, now, doesn’t she?

  • Anita Cocktail

    [re=98575]HedonismBot[/re]: except his mom hasn’t accepted the Lord Jebus Christ as her personal saviour. As a Jew, she is doomed to hellfire 4-ever.

  • ProgHead777

    [re=98438]Delicious[/re]: No no, Cheney is the Emperor, the secret leader of the Republisith Party. Darth Dubya, Darth WALNUTS!, Darth Condoleezza and all the other Darths are but his minions. Barry Skywalker will strike them all down with his hopesaber.

  • superfecta

    OK, late to the party here, but I have two x chromosomes and am a Star Wars geek, so I’m sorry I missed out. I actually had a dream last night that things were different in ‘Empire’ and that Princess Leia ended up marrying Lando – what does this mean?

  • mothermaven

    [re=98515]Democratica[/re]: Since when have republicans been so concerned with sexism? Where are they on equal pay for women? They demonize single motherhood (except for Sarah’s spawn and are against women’s reproductive rights. Republicans haven’t done crap for women evah, and now since they put this Palin in they are champions of feminism. Nice try.

    As a woman, I believe that feminism thrives when we have the ability to accurately judge the accomplishments of women without being charged with sexism. During the primaries I was called sexist for saying that Clinton did not have the judgment to be president given her record. I think Palin is a billionth worse than Clinton, because of her lack of ethics, judgment, intellect, and for her poor record of governing a state that needs little of it. Equality is being able to take hits like the boys.

    Sexism,bah. I was a female in computing back in the 1980s, I know sexism and this isn’t sexism.

  • norbizness

    Don’t say “what’s his name” if you know good and goddamned well what his name is.

  • hej

    “… do you know the Palin proverb that tells us revenge is a dish that is best served cold? (pause) It is very cold in Alaska.”

  • Maus

    [re=98394]Aurelio[/re]: It’s the quiverfull way.