culture bores

A Guided Tour Of Obama’s Elitist New Designer Clothing Boutique

The right wing hasn’t been able to fully brand Obama as a GAY yet, as they did to John Kerry (Gay Trademark: being French) and Al Gore (Gay Trademark: fucking dudes). But Obama’s trying to help them out with his new online store section called “Runway to Change,” which features fancy clothes from elitist fashion designers that you can buy for only… uh oh, they don’t even list the prices on the front page! What is this, RUSSIA? Never a good sign, like when you want to order lobster at a rich person’s restaurant and the menu says “Market Price,” which is a plutocrat’s term for “go away, rat hobo.”

$60 for this uncreative turd, for ladies. The “Dude, where’s ______?” structure should be taken out back and shot. It should be taken out back and shot a lot. Remember when Michael Moore used this as the title for one of his books, like eight years ago? Well, someone should’ve shot it then because wtf.

$45 for this tee shirt about nightmares. This is the exact shirt that the serial killer from Scream wore as his jammie top. He dares you to dream, because he haunts your dreams. Obama/Death 2008!

…And this $75 bag is not! Except for collecting your dog’s poopies during walks. Then again, look at the secret code: “CIA.” So, uh, that’s why it costs $75 dollars?

So after checking this overpriced crap out, we’ve determined Barack Obama is still not a Gay, because Gays like fashion and this is not that.

Runway To Change [Obama Store]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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  • TGY

    I often CHANGE my socks.

  • pondscum

    So, Jim, you’re saying the pink rainbow shirt isn’t gay?

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    And here I thought it was just McCain’s advisors that were trying to help him lose the election. What, did they all start some kind of fucking BET that neither of them was fit to rule?

  • tonashideska

    Still no elitist polo shirts!

  • sezme

    Wow, being gay is a lot harder than it looks!

  • pondscum

    ohgod. The wrap shirt… I have no words.

  • Dave J.

    What is this, RUSSIA?

    In Soviet Russia, Blackberry invents you!

  • Gopherit v2.0

    I like the dog collar for the discriminating Bottoms out there.

  • carerer

    I thought this would be a diamond studded collar for my toy dog.
    http://store.barackobama.com/ProductDetails.asp?ProductCode=BZ40003
    A stupid leather bracelet??? What am I, republican?

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    Good lord, those shirts are hideous. I wouldn’t put a pitbull in lipstick in one of those ugly things. The first one made me think of Ashton Kutcher & “Dude, Where’s My Car?” Anything that reminds you of Ashton Kutcher is a FAIL.

  • NoWireHangers

    But that Diane von Furstenberg tote is dreamy. I guess I’ll just go without electricity this month…

  • Gopherit v2.0

    [re=98269]pondscum[/re]: I think that’s to steal some of Palin’s votes.

  • SayItWithWookies

    The fashion industry and politics — they go together like — like bowling and Egyptology.

  • NoWireHangers

    I’m still holding out for an Obama vibrator. If he wins, the market will rise to meet demand.

  • magic titty

    Can we expedite these debates and have the fucking election eight seconds after their conclusion, so that some asshole referring to himself as “Suede” on Project Runway supports Obama publicly and ruins Hopey for good? Bah.

  • columnv

    This is terrible.

  • NoWireHangers

    If they really wanted to reel in the Moran vote, they’d offer “Change” laden white platform flip-flops, press-on acrylic tips, lunch pails, and overalls.

  • pondscum

    [re=98276]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: How? It’s a wrap shirt, not a hockey jersey. Actually, that’s not a bad idea…but basketball. That’s what we need! Obama bball jerseys!!

  • bup

    Red bloggers are going to make fun of this forever.

    And rightly so.

  • Gopherit v2.0

    [re=98285]pondscum[/re]: I guess it looks more like a redneck bikini top to me. Just tie it up and go.

  • pondscum

    [re=98288]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Oh, that’s priceless and perfect! Right on the money!

  • ColdCupofHope

    Wow. “Dare to Dream.” This is what they come up with? I’ve seen nicer t-shirts on sale at the Wisconsin Dells. And most of those have to do with hunting: deer, moose, and pussy.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    Wait… uh. I don’t see any burqas.

  • jasonelias

    This stuff is nifty, but I like John McCain’s line of old man slacks with a compartments for carrying and wearing adult diapers.

  • problemwithcaring

    There is a Beyonce House of Dereon T-shirt.

    http://store.barackobama.com/ProductDetails.asp?ProductCode=TS29733

    Um, what voting block is he exactly aiming for here, because Rave/Rainbow/Wet Seal vote, I’d venture is locked up already.

  • magic titty

    [re=98279]magic titty[/re]: sorry, this was written in haste. it was supposed to say “before some asshole…”

    I’m done for the day.

  • Keram2

    How long until the wingnuts come out with the “HUR, DURR. RACHEL RAY WEARS ANOTHER TERRIST SCARF. HUR… DUR.” meme?

  • sarcasticusername

    way to put out fancy elitist merchandise that no normal people can afford while the economy implodes around you. snaps for barry, it’s a great time to show just how much you “get it.” jesus, the economy is trading in monopoly money at this point; is he secretly working for the mccain campaign?

  • S.Luggo

    Goes well with chilled white wine, pâté and Streisand:http://store.barackobama.com/PhotoDetails.asp?ShowDESC=N&ProductCode=TS29707
    This falls into the “What were they thinking category”.

  • InsidiousTuna

    There was a scarf made by a “Rachel Roy”. Isn’t that the Dunkin’ Donuts terrorist lady?

  • Undeterredbyreality

    OMFG! Whose idea was this and why do they hate America?

  • gjdodger

    this $75 bag is not! Except for collecting your dog’s poopies during walks

    Th-th-that’s n-not change we can relieve in!

  • smellyal8r

    I’m sure the elitist NYC fashion set wanted to “something” to get BHO elected and this is what they came up with. They shouldn’t be in a catalog, but in a 500 sq ft stark white shop on the lower East Side where six of them are hanging on racks. You know, places no str8 person would go.

  • StripesAndPlaids

    [re=98273]carerer[/re]: no, its a bracelet, not a cock ring.

  • The Lucky Republican

    Why does Barack Obama want to destroy fashion?

  • Borat

    How come no $120k sweaty dick lawyer clothes from St. Paul?

  • Servo

    Are they organic muslin?

  • CrunchyKnee

    [re=98355]Servo[/re]: I think that frist shirt is half breed muslin.

  • tocute2btrue

    That dam Michelle has a pair of lace panties that the rats ate the crotch out, she wears them all the time.

  • grevillea

    Hope is an anchor, dragging you to a watery grave? WTF?

  • sati demise

    [re=98286]bup[/re]: Wait until they find out McCains mother has a FRENCH maiden name!

  • Baseproduct

    Surely the pink rainbow shirt with the upside-down magenta A’s proves Obama isn’t a gay? That shirt screams “I love vagina and I don’t care who knows it!”

  • twoeightnine

    Digital Gravel and Upper Playground’s selection is much better and cheaper.

    http://www.digitalgravel.com/servlet/StoreFront

  • MarSF

    Looks like Marc Jacobs is still nursing his Hillary wounds with that half-assed effort at a tote bag. I think the work was farmed out to the summer interns.

    I say the campaign should take this down before it gets discovered by the ghouls at NRO and Fox.

  • Sire Says

    Well…don’t forget that Sarah Palin has inspired fashionistas all across the country with these stunning looks that I have collected for your viewing pleasure.

  • wallythepug

    C’mon people, some of these aren’t so bad…although zazzle.com has more interesting t-shirts. Besides, the moneys go to the campaign and it beats sending $75 without getting a high-end cleaning rag.

  • somelegalbitch

    God I want one of those totes. The Rag and Bone and Derek Lam are both fantastic. And yeah, they are expensive but if you’re going to donate to the campaign anyway you may as well get a cool tote bag out of it.

  • darbyogill

    How about we just RunAway from Change?

    Eh… it’s pointless, I just can’t do it, I’m an Obamatard forever.

  • Cape Clod

    [re=98277]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Win.
    Perhaps a better idea would have been to sell recycled coffee mugs. Just cross out the “Shearson/Lehman” and write “Change is Awesome”.

  • fuzznuts

    I think we’re in real danger if style defines substance.

    What is the newest fashion trend?

    Jimmy Choos Snow Shoes!

  • OzoneTom

    Can I get it in pleather?