Wonkette
Oh no! Our greatest President, George Bush Jr., is DYING of SKIN CANCER on his DUMB FAT FOREHEAD — YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW PEOPLE: “WASHINGTON (AP) - President Bush underwent treatment for a benign lesion over the weekend, leaving a noticeable scab on his forehead as he went about his business on Tuesday.” Benign? Ha, wrong! Nothing about this man is benign, he is a filthy sticky pad of cancer: “Bush has had lesions removed before: two noncancerous moles from his left temple in 2007, a precancerous lesion on his left arm in 2006, a noncancerous skin growth on his neck in July 2005, small lesions from his left shoulder and face in 2004, and others from his face in December 2001.” George Bush has been dead since 2001 and no one knew, not even the MSM, this is terrible & we should bomb someone (Rumsfeld). [AP]
Jim, I looked up gay in the dictionary and it said it was obscene to refer to how gay you are.
Why not get a real job instead of this trolling and hate mongering you do all day?
Thank God he’s okay. The Cheney must not reach full power before January 2009.
Oh god I read “left nipple” and almost died.
I did *not*, however, puke on my keyboard. My boss brought back from a recent business trip chocolate-covered nutter butters and nothing will wrench them from my gut.
Nah, when you’re evil to the core you just disinigrate..WALNUTS! just has an advanced case..
They remove all these lesions from his head and yet they leave that giant cerebellum-shaped malignancy intact? Jeeze our medical system sucks.
…WALNUTS! must have given it to him! I didn’t know cancer was a sexually transmitted disease?!
Another reason he should have been inside studying instead of clearing brush on the ranch. We may have been able to avoid our fucked up economy AND his forehead would be fine, save for the damage that Cheney’s balls have caused over the years.
Bush himself is a lesion on the lesions of America. It’s only fitting that the lesion on the lesions now has a lesion of his own. George Bush and The Lesion of Doom. Impeach… I mean lance or surgically remove! Somebody ell Pelois we have a medical justification to remove the tumor now.
Why do I imagine that every time Dubya and McGrampy meet, it’s all about what was sliced off last and by whom? Well, that and Grampy furitively checking around corners to make sure he two of them aren’t photographed together.
Lord Helmet: Aren’t you the one “trolling”? Anyway you’re banned now so whatever.
OK, Jim - you can get rid of him now. I was going to put up with it until he complained about the presence of the site where he’s spending his entire day as a troll.
I thought that forehead scab was from when Rove and Gannon forgot Junior’s safe word.
It takes a Republican to call someone “hate mongering” and be homophobic all in one post!
Jim Newell: Yay! The banning! It is awesome! Now, back to buttsecks.
I will never forget that hideous hideous “boil” on Dubya’s face after the election during the “stealing the presidency from Gore” period in 2000. It would be just like Dick Cheney to actually be the president and not tell anyone. What’s the latest status on whether John McCain’s still alive? Anyone?
Don’t be so quick to laugh and point at his lesions. If Sarah P ever gets to lean her moose gun in the Oval Office, we may cry bitter tears wishing ol’ George was back. Who wants to give Church Lady the nuclear codes? Jeeeeesussss Chrissssst.
Surgeon General: “Mr. President, it appears to be be benign.”
Dubya: “Ehhhh, I’d say it’s ’bout nine, nine and a half. But who’s counting, right, Gallsy?!”
Jim Newell: The only downside to the ban is that I can’t ask him to prove he can use a dictionary; otherwise, yay.
What will he do now that Cheney has been removed (benign my ass)?
Don’t you mean they removed him from the lesion?
I think they’re just harvesting him to help complete the Palin.
Jim Newell: Sniff. I will miss the old Helmet. Maybe he’ll be reincarnated as a droid, though never, I would imagine, as a Wookie.
Odd. Considering he uses his ass more than his head, you would think that’s where he would get lesions.
Life is funny. You know, til you get cancer and can’t pay your medical insurance anymore.
Hamster: That is one happy lesion right now.
ColdCupofHope: Never a problem for elected officials like the Preznit, thank goodness. Which is why McCain’s annual check-up is going to cost this country 1 billion dollars a day for the next 20 years.
Jim Newell: But he was so endearing, Jim. Also, I sensed enough homophobia to believe he was homosexual, and I have many single friends who’d love to hook him up. I guess they have to settle for Larry Craig and bathroom tapping.
So, does this mean there is a tanning bed in the Whitehouse too?
ColdCupofHope: I wonder if Chimpy’s HMO will cover this pre-existing condition?
Wait, isn’t a mark upon the forehead a sign of the Antichrist (see Revelations)?
Hamster: winner.
…grateful lesion is resting peacefully after surgeons successfully remove a huge malignant growth from it’s ass…
Jim Newell: Ugh, thanks. Responding to that douche was like pouring water on Gizmo. Out popped more and more little word-vomit gremlins each time.
It all makes sense now, Bush is Chancellor Vallorum (played by Terrance Stamp, who is also gay), Cheney is Count Dooku, and McCain is Emperor Palpatine. Obama is Mace Windu, and he’s gonna mess up the evil emperor good… but a screwed up Todd Palin saves McCain at the last minute and grows up to be Darth Vader, and then his son Track gets off the meth and on the force and kicks his ass to save the universe. I think that makes Bill Clinton Obi-Wan, and Yoda is Jimmy Carter.
Jim Newell: I’m glad you banned him because I am gay for you and he maliciously got my hopes up.
awful blood sucking cancer. How did the surgeon know where to stop?
“I got an owie,” said Lamie the Lame Duck. “My lame web foot hurts so bad, and now I’ve got an owie on my head, too!”
Hamster: Win. The surgeons were actually wheeling the lesion into the ICU and sealing W in the biohazard waste bin when one of the secret service guys stopped them. We will see the lesion’s tale of hope and recovery on the Hallmark channel this Christmas.
Don’t ban the Lord! Just ignore him and will disappear solito el huevón!
Jim Newell: Bravo, sir. Interesting he even bothered to put together an avatar, no?
Jim Newell: I think Lord Douchenozzle has some ‘issues’ - he sure is hung up about who’s gay and who isn’t …
they really shouldn’t get people’s hopes up like that.
Well, removing all that stuff off Shrub’s “head” pretty much takes care of the spoonful of brains that this white patriot of the Southern tier ever had, huh?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robert-f-kennedy-jr/governor-palins-reading-l_b_126478.html
Pr. Bush: “So Doctor, what did you say I have, capricornio?’
Doctor: “No, cancer”.
Jim Newell: Umm, I was going to bang him and take pixxx for everyone!
Bush is actually having the “666″ removed, since there can only be one Antichrist at a time.
It’s good to finally see some results from all those curses the Wiccans, Paleros, Conjurers, and Voodoo priests have been putting on him. About time!
Now if his ass would just explode, I would be content.
There is a presidency on the cancer.
Bush has skin cancer, McCain has skin cancer…WE CANNOT AFFORD 4 MORE YEARS OF THE SAME FAILED SKIN PROTECTION POLICIES!
I could swear there were some rectal polyps in there somewhere.
I hate golf. Never want to play golf. But that picture makes me want to grab some clubs and tie Bush to a pole in the middle of a driving range.
AngryBlakGuy: Transmitted through tears, much like AIDS.
Never mind the spot on his nose. What about the hideous oozing boil he has in the Vice President’s office?
I hope stem cell research can one day cure that kind of cancer, BUT NOW IT’S TOO LATE, MOTHERFUKKKER!!
They kept the tumor and threw away the rat bastard.
Sorry, I meant no offense to any rat bastards.
I wasn’t aware that tumors would grow on crap,
learn something new every day. Unless you’re a
Palin.
Not to worry, the president was never in any actual danger. The doctors have concluded that Bush’s precancerous cells are too stupid to evolve into full-blown cancer. Not to mention the fact that they don’t believe in evolution to begin with.
And you guys might as well forget about stem cell research. The Republicans are determined to halt all progress in medical science as we know it. They said they were going to “fix” Social Security using whatever means necessary, even if that means guaranteeing that nobody lives long enough to collect it! If global warming doesn’t get you, the nearsighted hunters armed with M-16’s will.
Sure, they’ll claim it’s all about Roe v. Wade… and they’ll claim that they oppose abortion because abortion is murder. But the real reason they oppose abortion is because Satan requires the sacrifice of newborn babies, and aborted fetuses don’t count. Instead of sending fetuses to science labs to work on cures for new diseases, they want women to send their unwanted children to “adoption centers” where they will be fed intravenously to Dick Cheney.
Hey, how do you THINK the man was able to survive four heart attacks? Through diet, exercise, and a calm, cool temperament? Pshaw… right. He feeds on the blood of the innocent… an ancient GOP tradition that he hopes to pass on to McCain.
Skin cancer is the fastest increasing cancer in the US. Quite possibly associated with ozone thinning. George tried to loosen the restriction on ozone depleting chemicals.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/story/2008/03/14/ST2008031400320.html
Maybe the skin cancer cells reached his brain and have secretly been controlling him. It would explain a lot…