Wonkette
Well looky here at who’s getting too big for her lipsticks! It’s the most presumptuous celebrity in the world, Alaskan teleprompter fraud Sarah Palin. She’ll be meeting with various foreign dignitaries at the U.N. next week in order to show dubious Americans that she can, uh, sit down for crab cakes and fizzy water with the Sultan of Dubai. We are pretty sure this is tantamount to treason, meeting with all these people who can’t even vote in America. How nauseating to see somebody showboating around all glamorous-like with international superstars when there’s real work to do at home in the Real America (not New York). COUNTRY FIRST, PALIN. [Washington Wire]
Why should she meet them? She can see them from her house in Alaska.
Ahhh, the famous Condi Rice qualification authentication process: photos with men wearing dresses and headgear.
She’s getting uppity.
Will Putin let her know that they can see Alaska from Russia?
Will this be a huge revelation for Sarah?
Is she shopping for endorsements or something?
“I am the Chilean Ambassador to the U.S., and Sarah Palin isn’t a totally ignorant hillbilly-twat!”
At the end of the day, Palin has more real qualifications than Barack Hussein Obama, the media creation, fraud, empty suit, and Soros front.
So get used to her.
Well, according to Mike Huckabee, Barack Obama went to Europe and came back with HIV, so who knows what Cariboobs is gonna get wind to when she chills the fuck out with teh foreigns.
I’m beginning to plan where I will go after this election. Ecuador seems nice.
magic titty: Pregnant?
As long as she doesn’t wipe hands on any turbans, loudly proclaim that she’d “like summa ‘em finger sammiches”, or recklessly commit us to any more wars I think we can call it a success for our future 25th Amendment grubber. Tough she really does want one of those finger sammiches. Get her one.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
“there’s real work to do at home in the Real America ”
Real America?…like calling your next kid Congo Macaca Palin.
Lord Helmet: Your one-note is flat.
Though bonus points for getting in 4 lies. McCain would be proud, if he gave a shit about you.
Since these Sultans are forbidden from giving $$ to the campaign, they will pose with Sarah P for ‘news’ photos that will show up in ads that evening.
I can’t wait to hear her and the Ambassador of Saudi Arabia talk…. you know that they have so much in common with all of that oil, not to mention their strong belief in the oppression of women!
Lord Helmet: Hahaha you’re precious. Can we keep this one, guys?
Snowbilly prom queen is coming to New York City? Will she meet with Mike Bloomberg and try to convert him to Christianity? I hope she makes condescending, racist remarks about the city while she’s here, like every other mouthbreathing asshole from Jesusland who ever visits.
(Sorry, I’m a little pissed off at visitors right now because some people who are visiting from our Midwestern offices insist on taking a cab everywhere because they feel unsafe on the subway. Buncha racists.)
You’ve really got to hand it to the Republicans. They refuse to let up the strangle-hold they have on the country, and when threatened with the loss of power, they resort to one of the most pandery reckless hypocritey VP choices in history, then proceeded to exalt her to super-stardom all the while doing a bastardized version of everything they accused Democrats of. She’s like Barry’s bizarro doppelganger who does everything opposite and wrong. Now she’s setting out on her worldwide press tour. Here’s to you Sarah, since you’re a Bush in lipstick, I hope you follow in the footsteps of Bush I and puke on a dignitary. I would expect nothing less from you.
Things will go fine until she finds out they don’t worship the same god as her. Then she’ll pull a Bush Sr. and throw up all over them.
…I can just hear the the prime minister of Dubai now!
“What is this…Hockey Mom that you speak of?”
Gopherit v2.0: Senator McCain had no place to give a shit for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, my friends, which is why he’s full of shit now.
jagorev: … and New Yorkers wonder why the rest of the country hates them. Way to group all of the Midwest together, with Alaska, even!
NoWireHangers: FUCK that wasn’t there…before…when I wrote my stuff…
jinmoom: He better not pee on the floor and chew up the couch cushions. Remember, I’m not going to feed and walk him. That’s your responsibility.
We should get him some lipstick….
jinmoom: Oh sure, now it’s “he’s cute!” but two posts from now you’re all “But I killed his ego LAST time..” . And who’s there to clean up that mess, huh? huh? No. Not this time. Sorry.
Yesterday I read on a right-wing blog the lament that the MSM isn’t sending anyone to Wasilla to get to know the real, salt-o’-the-earth people there. And I have a journalist friend, and he is jetting up there today! The bad news is he works for the Enquirer.
Palin is planing to beg the Arabs and Chinese to not foreclose on America until after she moves into the Naval Observatory.
jinmoom: It’s all part of the same SUV-Jesus-Walmart-land as far as I’m concerned.
Maybe the Sultan will offer to buy her and that will solve everything.
Miller: mad skilzz…
Lord Helmet: Oh brother. That empty suit has done more in his life than you could in 3. Also, isn’t your Veep candidate/beauty pageant runner-up/sportscaster/hater of women and gays a media creation, herself?
And hey, weren’t your heroes Ronald Reagan and Jesus of Nazareth or somewhere, media creations too?
Next thing, she’ll invade Canada. Legally this time.
http://www.globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=va&aid=8551
Lord Helmet: I will never allow President Palin to win!
azw88: Is she going to have a tanning bed put in? It could probably go where Cheney’s hyperbaric chamber is now.
So it’s bring your daughter to the UN day?
nyhfrog: Oh man, I smell sitcom. The Sheikh and The Hockey Mom. Hijinks are bound to ensue. It’ll be like Dharma and Greg, but funny.
Does Miss Piggy know that she needs a passport to get into NY?
jinmoom: It’s not hate…it’s jealousy.
nyhfrog: He carries pocket change?
jagorev: I’m think more like Protocol, starring Goldie Hawn!
…this sounds like the worst idea ever. What better way to remind people how out of her element Sarah Palin is than showing her smiling awkwardly next to the Prime Minister of a country that has more cash in sofa cushions than we have in our entire withered economy?! The thought of her uttering one syllable to Vladimir Putin terrifies me. And lets not even get into disaster of negotiating anything with China or India!
irisheyes: Oh, c’mon. It’ll be a good learning experience for him.
Lord Helmet: Wait — his name’s … his name’s … HUSSEIN?! What? What?! Fuck! That fuckin’ changes everything! Fuck yeah, the fucker! Fuck! He’s a secret half-breed muslin knee-grow comma-nist outside-agitatin’ America-hatin’ fuckin’ fucker! Fuck him!
Thanks, man. I almost voted for that guy. Bring on “Bush with tits,” ya’ll. She’s W-A-A-A-A-A-Y better!
Sorry people, Palin is your new VP. All you have to do is move the man-sized safe out and push the tanning bed in its place.
…how does speed-dating at the UN equate to foreign policy experience? “I like brisk morning walks on the tundra, mooseburgers, and I’m going to bomb the fuck out of your country, BEEEP, next.” This campaign has jumped the shark.
AngryBlakGuy: If she can get through this without calling the Indian Ambassador ‘macaca’, I think she will finally show herself to be ready for the White House.
…what are you guys talking about! Im sure with her vast
foreign policy experience she will do fine!!!
Republican candidate John McCain plans to introduce the Alaska governor to heads of state at the opening of the U.N. General Assembly…McCain advisers hope her U.N. visit will show how quickly Palin can make key connections and become well-versed in foreign-policy issues.
Well, sure. If it’s called “making key connections” when your daddy introduces you. Notice, they aren’t sending her alone. Want to see how well she sinks or swims? Send her without babysitters, dammit!
Maybe she should Meet the Press first?
Get used to Palin. She’s actually accomplished something in here life, unlike the Jr. Senator from NY who leveraged her husband’s name into a state she’s not from and to magnify a non existent record.
Obama and Clinton would have been perfect. Two nothings. 2 times zero equals…. uh… THE DNC ticket.
agentstinky: It is our duty to keep the vomit story alive, lest America ever forget: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnOnDatqENo
AnnieGetYourFun: No, I’m sorry. Last time, and I think we all remember bhusseinisblackandtheantichrist, don’t we? Posted over 27 times and we all got angry, then tired, and finally ignored him. Well, this post is far too important for that sort of thing. Sorry, it hurts me more than you know.
Lord Helmet: And those qualifications would be?
Using her political office for petty vindictive firing of competent people?
Robbing the Native Alaskans of their rights?
Trading a jet for a tanning bed?
Repeating lies the media has debunked over and over?
Trying to fire the President of the Alaskan Librarians Society?
Oversite of the crystal meth capital of Alaska?
Do tell……
AngryBlakGuy: God, I hope Vladimir Putin makes her cry. She better be careful or they’ll make her face look like Viktor Yushchenko’s.
irisheyes: Oh, we DON’T have a policy protecting free speech for retarded people? Huh.
Lord Helmet: Now, see, he’s already using the carpet to scratch his ass. I thought you were going to watch him, jinmoom!!
Lord Helmet:
Seriously Gabriel. How much did that tranny hooker in St Paul take you for? 120K seems outlandish.
Hamster: speed dating at the UN! brilliant.
It does provide a photo op…
Lord Helmet: None of us are as stupid as all of us-’cept maybe you.
Oh, and aren’t you missing Rush right now?
Maybe this will stop the godless libruls from making their snide and inappropriate remarks about her foreign policy experience.
Naw, they’ll not get off of that hobby-horse until it throws ‘em.
sati demise: Lord Helmet objectively supports meth use.
I hope one of them offers to buy her.
The little moosegirl, how much you want for her?
Y’know, as a New Yorker, I am seriously sick of the way the right wing regards us. Most of the time, we’re no-good latte-sipping arugula-eating librul elitists who want to abort Baby Jesus and lose the war from our ivory towers that we pay for with welfare checks, and we just don’t understand what it’s like in Real America where people work hard and have family values. But when it’s time to trot out the specter of 9/11 to scare up conservative votes, AMERICA WAS ATTACKED!!!
All I’m saying is we either count as part of America or we don’t. I don’t really care which it is, just make up your minds and stick with it, rather than shifting positions as is politically convenient.
Lord Helmet: ‘She’s actually accomplished something in here life’.
Yeah, like leaving a town with a $5 million dollar annual budget $20 million in debt?
sati demise: Don’t give him any hints…
OzoneTom:
Seems the retards are out in force today.
Retarded? You must be talking about bathtub boy from Air America TV (MSNBC). Did his one night stand publish his emails yet? When the dirt on that sicko comes out, will you lefties be on his side still? Of course! And Obama the rock star on the road without that white hating wife of his? We all know what “rock stars” do on the road. October surprise? We’ll see.
But all that doesn’t matter. When you peel back the bs (i.e, liberal spin), Obama has no record worthy of being a senator, let along president. You people want BILLY Carter II? At least Jimmah was a GOVERNOR.
NoWireHangers: How about the Leslie Nielsen version? I don’t think that it’s on YouTube unfortunately.
sanantonerose: Win!
I see that “European Vacation” scene with the angry Biergarten mob chasing the Griswolds.
Lord Helmet: Please stay with us, Helmut. I love you, do you love me?
Cape Clod: For a righttard, leaving the taxpayer holding the bag for a vanity project is a feature, not a bug.
How wonderful that the Belgian deputy assistant undersecretary for agricultural affairs can find time to bring her up to speed on the pressing diplomatic issues of the day.
jagorev: I bet those hicks are wearing some kind of bright colored jackets and put on sneakers with their suits. Well, its better they visit you, than you visit them.
4tehlulz: Your right, the best way to prove that Government doesn’t work is to demonstrate the theory first hand.
Lord Helmet: Honestly, what the fuck are you talking about. I thought this was about Obama. Now it’s Keith Olbermann (I think?), and Michelle Obama not kissing white people’s asses, rock stars, and liberal spin.
Why don’t you just unfuck yourself from the dimensia that is right-wing talking points and come back with a clear point of view.
You hate everything “liberal”, so why are you here, on a satirical website, denouncing that very thing. Sean Hannity not on yet?
Your war was a lie and a murderour rampage, your economy was foolish plan to endanger the middle class and put more wealth into the hands of the few. Your Christian-right agenda is a demeaned human rights disgrace that i’m guessing Jesus Christ would have denounced as insanity. Your party willingly accepts votes from bigots and xenophobic deadbeats.
You are a loser. Please vote McCain & Palin on Nov. 4th. And also get the fuck off Wonkette.
Lord Helmet:
Of course you’re right.
Barry doesn’t have the experience of John McCain:
Didn’t torch the USS Forrestal and kill 137 men.
Didn’t crash five very expensive jets.
Didn’t take advantage of the US Navy’s Affirmative Action program for Admiral’s Sons
Didn’t lose 3 Billion Dollars (in 1985 dollars or 7 Billion today) of Taxpayer Money in the Keating Scandal
Didn’t break the very election law he sponsored
Didn’t surround himself with losers like Carly Fiorina, Charley Black or Fizkal Geniuz Phil Gramm
Didn’t have the experience of continual failure that John McCain has.
My best advice to her is to speak very loudly to those diplomats who don’t speak no English. I’ve always found people understand you better when you are shouting. Especially the French because they’re not smart enough to learn English
Has she ever been to NYC before? Oh god, please don’t let her talk about how she can’t wait to go to Times Square and pick up a stuffed giraffe for Triq Van Halen at the Toys R Us, and then eat at the Bubba Gump. Jesusland people always want to do that.
ManchuCandidate: Aww. You hit a nerve. Trig is pissed at you.
Maybe now she will see that Eskimos do not look like Arabs at all. And no Sarah, Vladamir Putin did not see you waving from Alaska either.
I love the smell of left wing panic in the morning.
It smells like VICTORY.
You left wing fascists are true to your cause; you favor CENSORSHIP and the ELIMINATION of your political enemies.
You’re totalitarian turds when you get right down to it.
EFF you. I’m here and you can deal with it.
And, just a reminder.
Obama is NOT QUALIFIED to be senator, let alone president. He’s a far left poser, a fake, and a fraud.
And the people WILL See through the curtain before election day.
And you’ll all cry like babies. Per usual.
Lord Helmet: Also, you’re going to lose the shit out of this election. So, you know, har.
Well, she’s got a better chance of enjoying the sexing that the Arab diplomats always get from the Repubs… Sure Bush looked happy enough holding hands, but you could tell he was just in it for the oil.
Lord Helmet: Okay Tony. You’re getting boring….again. Fuck off now. Don’t make us wake up shorts.
Lord Helmet: GEt off my Wonkette and get out of my Country- and ne’re return.
Lord Helmet: OMG, you are just so adorable! Can I pinch your cheeks? Who’s the wittle lost GOP’r? Who’s the wittle Palindrone? Bless your heart!
I bet she’ll have some real bullets to fire once she’s in Bosnia.
I’m so fucking tired of being lied to about Sarah and how much she knows, etc. etc. As George Carlin once said, you can nail any two pieces of wood together and someone will buy it.
Nice picture. Woe to the first presidential candidate who goes to college during the age of ubiquitous cellphone cameras.
Why does Palin even need to meet with any foreign leaders when she could just lie about meeting them like everything else she’s said.
texette: Then they could go catch Mamma Mia!, which is based on John McCain’s favorite band/song (seriously, the man loves Abba).
OzoneTom: One time, when I was in the Boy Scouts, I totally visited the hell out of the UN. I never realized that fact alone would qualify me to be Vice President one day!
Lord Helmet:
How is the economy doing in your world? I’m betting the Dow hit 20,000 today and that Bear Sterns, Lehman Bros, Worldcom, Enron and Pets.Com just announced record profits while the US Dollar is worth 2000 Euros.
Lord Helmet:
I love the smell of left wing panic in the morning.
Oh my Jesus, that sentence might be the most pathetically douchey thing I’ve ever read on the internet.
ManchuCandidate: I don’t think he’ll be answering. He had to go back to work. That jizz isn’t going to mop itself.
Lord Helmet: Is there some RULE as to why all you MORONS insist on using CAP LOCKS?
Does it make FEEL like the DRIVEL you WRITE seem more IMPORTANT? Or are you JUST completely RETARDED?
Lord Helmet: “Left wing panic” is usually characterized by whining and snivelling, which is what we saw after Palin’s debut. “Right wing panic,” on the other hand, is usually characterized by ugly personal attacks consisting of broad, mindless talking-point buzz words, in lieu of answering simple questions. Like what we’re seeing … uh … from you! Hey, how about that?
And please, oh please, I beg you, do not leave this site. I want you to be here a long, long time. Seriously, you’re perfect for this place!
Lord Helmet: The only crying I have heard is from the right wing echo chamber who cannot help but blame the “librul media” for the fact that McCain and the GOP et al have no working policies to promote and a record that is indefensible. Palin…please, she is a local politician at best. My county has a bigger budget than Alaska.
All that anger a spewing of redicilous empty rethoric smells of REAL desperation. And, frankly, your desperation is comforting.
Did you get kicked off the Malkin or Hanity site for not being fascist enough or what? Why would you even come here? If you could possibly put one fact on the table to discuss we would entertain your sorry ass, but since all you scream is invective…no thanks.
Please go back to your echo chamber where you can feel like the rest of the world hates as much as you do.
Lord Helmet:
I shit bigger than you.
Gopherit v2.0:
He hasn’t really mastered the Reply function yet (unlike Tony The Tigre.)
Seems also a little too excitable to be fun. Tony took a few days and 100s of comments before he cracked and was banned.
“EFF you.”
Harhar. “Eff”. Ha.
Oh, look! A Limbaugh parrot! Solomon, my gun!
Wow, the douchetards really hate actual truthiness and stuff about Palin — in fact, they hate it so much they end up looking like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWSjUe0FyxQ
Only, you know, Republicans are way more closeted.
…so, ‘foreigners’ would be people farther away than the lower 48, yes?
She’s an appeaser, meeting with the foreigns!
WAKE UP PEOPLE!
Oh jeez…wasn’t meeting with Charlie Gibson embarrassment enough?
Dear SNL gods up in the shiny skyscrapers, please send Tina Fey on a field trip to the UN as well! Thanks.
jagorev: good to see you back. let me know about the upcoming mass protest in New York(hint hint). gotta dash cuz I’ma lipstick wearing football aunt, don’cha know!
Godot: I hate the fact that the blue states pay more in federal taxes that we have to send to the red states, like ALASKA , to keep them solvent.
We are the one who should have a chip on our shoulder.
Stephen Harper, Canada’s Prime Minister on meeting Sarah Palin “He Shoots, He Scores”,. . . “I can still remember our first meeting at the 61st parallel. It was quiet, serene, and a bit cold, but what can you expect, when you share your most intimate plays at Center Ice?”
jjgittes: LEAVE SARAH ALONE!! friggin’ hilarious!!11!!!
I understand that the only reason Walnuts picked her is “McCain-Palin” was the only website name not copyrighted by someone else.
I hope the ‘Sultan of Dubai’ thing was, like a joke on Sarah because it’s the ‘Sheikh’ in Dubai, right? Don’t tell her though…