Wonkette
Alaskan moron Sarah Palin spends all her time in a tanning bed, listening to Van Halen (the Sammy Hagar version) and making up idiot new names for her next babies. But what if you had been born to the vice president of tattoo parlors? Your editor, for example, would’ve been named “Crunk Petrol Palin.” [Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator]
“Charcoal Sniper Palin”
Call me Rock Crane Palin
Scat Dubya, a phrase that will have a prominent place in my nightmares from now on.
The software dubbed me Goalie Sanka Palin. Dunno about the non-caffeinated bit.
In honor of our recent economic collapse, I dub myself Freddie Mac Palin.
“Guzzle Red Palin”
What the fuck?
I would call myself the son of a crooked bitch. For short though, I would be referred to as Stick Freedom Palin
I’ve always enjoyed my Alaskan alias: Plexiglass Hardframe Palin.
I would be “Crunk Petrol Palin” as well.
That is not change I can believe in.
Barrel McRaven Palin
Hey, I’m Jeezofreak Tweak Palin! Where’s my motherfucking parade?
Chalk Revelations Palin
Just for shits and giggles, I entered “Sarah Heath Palin”. Unfortunately, it was changed to “Lock Pepper Palin”.
Neeeeeee hahhhhhhhh! I’m Bomb Locamotive Palin and I’ll kick yer ass! I’m a fuckin’ redneck. Woooooooooohoooooo!
“Blocked by Websense”
Gopherit v2.0: How about Put Put Palin?
Barrel McRaven Palin… awesome
Flex Gunship Palin. Oddly enough, that is my real name.
I think Taci or Troll would go great with Track and Trig.
For a girl, perhaps you can be more daring. Perhaps something ethnic, like Velveeta. Or maybe something really daring, for example, a lesbian name like Adia.
LittlePhatGuise: But if I only use my first & middle name, I am dubbed:
Copper Catfish Palin.
Hearkening back to earlier threads, my name would have to be:
Shotput ArcticCat Mjöllnir Palin
“Monty Bat Palin”
Damn, I was hoping get something more along the line of Turdblossom.
NoWireHangers: We seem to have the same name… I’ve always hoped I’d meet another Barrel McRaven, but it just seemed so unlikely.
I am Mullet Troll Palin which is better than my porn name of Penny Plane.
well, with the nickname I use, I am Shot Corrugated Palin. With my given name, I am Comma Liberty Palin. Definitely have a split personality thing going on here.
“Wolfsblood-to-Nowhere Palin”
Stoppage Lead Palin. Sounds like I live in McCain’s colon.
Seagull Junker Palin
My puns Palin comparison to yours.
Ken, can’t your editor lackeys find another picture of Sarah? Now that you have posted this one a gazillion times, we all know that she can give tongue. What else can she do? Tell the staff to exercise some initiative and search the archives or the morgue or whatever you call it. I’m sure Sarah has other talents besides sticking her tongue out. Doesn’t she?
Gravel Codpiece Palin
Sharktooth Archetype Palin
Bigwheel Camouflage Palin
This is fun!
You guys are seriously deranged. What’s sad is that you do not know it.I’ve
been called a mouth breathing retard on this site but rather be stupid than crazy.I
can fix stupid, you cannot fix crazy.
Bang Walmart Palin
WMD Cessna Palin.
WMD. um yeah… i win
Barack Obama, if you were born to Sarah Palin, your name would be:
Tarp Lazer Palin
Who knows, Tarp Lazer Palin you just might be president one day!
Aurelio: Seconded, but not that creepy one that Josh Marshall keeps putting up.
Wood Corps Palen is in the house…
this name is now for sale…..i need lunch money..
Crunk Petrol Palin. Awesome. That’s going to be the name of my debut album.
Strike Chipper Palin.
But as the Magic Titty, I’m Rake Trinket Palin.
Wait, can’t I just be Magic Titty Palin?
Yaybuls: HEY-O
rightofmiddle:
Judging by your comment. No, one can’t fix stupid either.
My wife would be “Open Aircraft Palin”, which is vaguely slutty and not really the kind of name a fella like The Fire Patriot would like for his lady.
rightofmiddle: Pronouns, do you speak it, motherfucker?
I’m…Strike Chipper Palin.
That was fun for 2 seconds.
Geese Whalebone Palin
Bush Doctrine Palin
John Sidney McCain, if you were born to Sarah Palin, your name would be:
Fork Decoy Palin
Who knows, Fork Decoy Palin you just might be president one day!
“Fork Decoy” sounds troublesomely accurate, somehow.
Bash Budweiser Palin..that’s a tewfer! She’s going to name the next welp after Cindy and then beat it!
Mullet Troll Palin, at your service.
NoWireHangers: Me too.. just call me Barrel McRaven Palin III
Fire Patriot Palin.
Fucking awesome.
Jewy Elite Homo Palin
I am Crutch Camp Palin.
i’m rust mustang palin and i approve this message.
rightofmiddle: What the fuck are you babbling about you inane loser? Is this Uncle Footstink Palin? Go FcYerself Palin?
rightofmiddle: Seriously Deranged Palin
InsidiousTuna: *snare hit/cymbal crash, applause*
rightofmiddle: fine, but its the crazy ones that have all the fun. let us know when you fix that stupid problem
Godot: Uhh that was in reference to my Palin Name being “Fire Patriot Palin”, which I totally posted in another comment but something happened to it.
When I actually did the baby name generator it churned out:
Meat Notgay Palin
This is funny on so many levels. Most of those levels are about crotch height.
Plop Hero Palin for my real name.
Beans Harpoon Palin for tunamelt.
Walter Sobchak: Tarp Lazer? Interesting. John Sidney McCain ends up “Bash Budweiser Palin.” That’s un-American!!!
I’m Crust Scramble Palin. Which sounds delicious, actually.
Knife Pile Palin
Pile?
I typed in Track and got Meat Notgay Palin.
Track, don’t ask and we won’t tell.
Knife Pile Palin
ManchuCandidate: I think he/she’s Daddy BeatMe Palin.
intellijen: I too am Rust Mustang Palin…you must be destroyed.
Walter Sobchak: I got Bash Budweiser, same as freakishly strong. Looks like it gives you different names, based on whether or not you enter the last name.
Trucknut Moosefister Palin
Hey, I’m Slicer Tension Palin, I work for Ron Popiel as a neurotic tomato.
Whoooo! I entered James Michael Curley and it returned “Flex Gunship” Palin. A term used in Vietnam for the B model hueys which could have their armament stripped in an hour and converted to a troop or medevac ship. I flew those suckers. Political satire is getting too close to reality.
Esp[i]n Geometry Palin
Hump Gizzards Palin. This is so much better than my usual name that I think I will keep it. Maybe she’ll be able to be my foster mom?
Welcome my Palin-appropriate moniker of “Stag Tunnel Palin”…
I’m Ammo Canal Palin. That sounds so dirty.
AngryBlakGuy = Slicer Mission Palin
…sounds like an action movie! I like it!
TJBeck, if you were born to Sarah Palin, your name would be:
Wood Corps Palin
Espen Algebra Palin
Tony the Tiger, if you were born to Sarah Palin, your name would be:
Engine Nighthawk Palin
Even the Hollywood elitists are jealous of the Palin baby names.
Wait a second - I’ve got the WINNER HERE:
TROOPER PALIN!
Walter Sobchak: “Fork decoy” = chopsticks = FIVE AND A HALF YEARS
Khaki Salmon Palin at yer service! I must be the black sheep of the fambly….
If you put in Larry Craig’s full name, Larry (no, not Lawrence; he’s really named Larry) Edwin Craig, you get: Hunger Tallest Palin.
Someone ought to warn Track.
Special Agent Jack Mehoff:
Eddie Van Palin
Chisel Dustup Palin
I’m changing my screen name to Plop Hero Palin.
Commando Coalfire Palin. I’ve killed more bears than Davey Crockett.
Can these names also double as porn names? With the shitty economy, some of use might have to get a second job.
I must be the most loved Palin, for my name is Moose Roadster Palin…either that or the least loved…
Taupe Armageddon Palin
Here’s Taupe, our special needs baby, who’s birth is ushering in the beginning of End Times. Perhaps so!
‘Tard Pillow Palin
“People on the internet have too much time on their hands” Palin.
Skein Chug Palin. What? Even in Alaska people would make fun of you for a name like that.
Anwar Raper Palin
Mangle Blue Palin
Cogito Ergo Bibo: Funny, I entered: Freakishy as my first and Strong as my last, just like in real life…
“Revolver Trooper Palin.”
Shouldn’t that be “Storm Trooper?”
This is just a silly excersize from Ken to keep us from exploding into bitter, bitter tears…
Chevy General Palin. My friends, deep down we are all snowbilly monsters.
Can Lightning Palin
Bomb Locamotive Palin
freakishlystrong: Weird. I got that for John Sidney (without the McCain)
Meat Notgay Palin
Halter Grasshopper Palin.
That’s weird, that already is my name. My parents must suffer from the same moosemeat born brain parasites as they do up in Alaska.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Fish Guts Palin
Black Fly Palin
Toolbox
Ejector
Your Dad And I Still Smoke Meth When You’re Asleep Palin
Mack Master Palin Sweetness
Oh, wait, that was my pimp name.
Fleck Rookie Palin
HomoPolitico: oh man, is that true? That is fabulous!
And I forgot to try Dogless Liberal. My Palinism for that is Chevy General Palin. I like the ones for my real names better. I think I will get my business cards changed to Shot Corrugated Palin. Much more of a badass lawyer name than my real one.
AngryBlakGuy: ooh, that is a great one. WALNUTS!’ favorite movie: Slicer Mission Meets the Evil Cong
John McCain, if you were born to Sarah Palin, your name would be:
Steam Fangs Palin
Who knows, Steam Fangs Palin you just might be president one day!
Rock Crain Palin.
I sound like a NASCAR driver. Danica, move out the way, bitch! It’s MY turn!
CivicHoliday:
Well, that’s my name!
Scrapple Earnhardt Van Palin
Skunk Grunt Palin. I can’t tell whether to laugh or weep. Because it’s actually sort of a phrase.
Dances with Moose
H.R. Puffinmeth
Comrad Pekrhed - I’ll wave to her from my vodka shop outside of Vladivostok.
Sammy Hagar Palin, pleased to meet you …
Wrangler Tractor Palin
ManchuCandidate: I find all the repetitions on this site amusing. I wonder how the website chooses names? It is an initials thing? Some weird complicated algorithm based on number of vowels?
Oh, and I am apparently married to Molten Contra Palin. Watch out, Nicaragua! We’re coming back with more Iranian firearms!
Methsmak Crak Palin
Beretta Hockey Palin
Crust Scramble Palin? This sounds a little too much like matzoh brei for the progeny of my favorite anti-semitic ice princess.
Chase Rooster Palin - that’s me! As a kid, I did have to help kill and pluck chickens on my grandmother’s farm. Did Sarah know, or did she just assume it was a universal childhood experience?
Fullname: Recoil Mush Palin
No middle name: Seagull Junker Palin
iwillsavethispatient: Mounty Bat Palin
Drill Swollen Palin–Fuck Yeah!
My full name is Churn Scorpion Palin. My screenname is better though: Fleck Rookie Palin. A friend of mine, is Khaki Salmon Palin which is a complete win.
If Sarah Palin had given birth to and named herself through some bizarre snowbilly course of events, she would be named:
Flack Gobbler Palin.
Win.
Ken,
Are you gay or did you just sleep at a Holiday Inn Express last night?
pistol tanker palin, thank you very much.
obviously, she loves me the most since she named me after her two favorite things.
i sound like a badass too.
Buster Taint Palin here.
I love the fact that I’m having a hard time guessing who’s actually just making up their own.
Lord Helmet:
1/2 a McCain point. You really want that divot tool, don’t you?
Turbine Yukon Palin.
The “Palin” part is the trashiest of all.
hillary rodham clinton, if you were born to Sarah Palin, your name would be:
Dust Chinstrap Palin
yes, hillary, dust off your chinstraps and crack some more ceilings or whatever.
My Level 2 Half-Elf Warlock would be Wrangler Tractor Palin. The rest of my adventuring party would be Luger Otter Palin the Halfling Rogue, Hose Hotrod Palin the Half-Elf Paladin, Torpedo Vindicator Palin the Eladrin Warlord, and Goalie Sanka Palin the Eladrin Wizard.
Plop Hero Palin. Damn glad to meet ya.
Engine Nighthawk Palin!! Awesome!
joseph biden, if you were born to Sarah Palin, your name would be:
Knife Pile Palin
this describes how she sees him in her debate nightmares.
Strap-On Palin
shrek, if you were born to Sarah Palin, your name would be:
Dust Chinstrap Palin
interestingly this is the same as hillary rodham clinton–is she calling hillary an ogre?
that’s sexist, bitch.
i can’t stop–i am stopping now.
franklyb: win.
Speck Backfire Palin.
nietzscheprojectile: Interestingly, Tenzing Norgay also yields Can Lightning Palin.
Bow NATO Palin. There is a Russia joke in there somewhere, but I just can’t figure it out.
That’s great, I need a new name. I was lucky (unlucky?) enought to have a letter to the editor printed that was, shall we say, not entirely complimentary of GILF’s interview with Charlie Gibson. Within 2 days I got 2 vaguely threatening letters from wingnuts, unsigned of course. My spouse is now pissed at me.
Lean Pipe Palin here, yo!
Strangle Thicket Palin. Hot!
Krinkle Bearcat Palin. I think I’m going to get it legally changed to that.
“Revolver Trooper” Palin….
That name gave me a woody……
I know, I know, getting a woody does not count as personal growth…
I’m Bash Budweiser Palin! At least it’s better than Bash Coors Palin.
wallythepug: Let’s update that, make it six crazy-ass letters. I better move.
Stockyard Mudslide Palin = Win
LittlePig: You’ve found me out!
The newest Van Palin has arrived! It’s Trig’s younger brother, Eddie Van Palin!
http://www.chriskinsman.com/vanpalin.jpg