Yay it’s your weekly CNN headline funny! Pack up all your worldly belongings, board up the windows, and kiss your nice pets goodbye forever. Hurricane Ike sucked, but it’s nothing compared to this fearsome “Bush,” which destroys literally everything it touches. [CNN]
NO AMERICAN IS SAFE
September 16, 2008
Downtrodden Texans Brace For Next Horror
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{ 48 comments }
Any excuse to leave Texas is a good excuse.
Bush = Shiva?
I hear he’s going to do one of his signature dances to help lift low morale.
It doesn’t destroy as much as it renders worthless. Texans should stay where they are. Texas made this man who he is, now they should put up with his shit.
…if that is the case, I wonder what they are going to do after he is out of office?
LOL. Maybe it’s just the headline writer prefers Brazilians or landing strips.
Good riddance Texas!!!!!
Should read: Bush goes to Texas. People corraled behind barbed wire as punishment for letting him out in the first place.
lolz, thanks CNN
Awww come on. It’s Texas, how much more could he fuck that up?
Sorry…I got nothing, but in Texas’ defense (& God knows we need one), W is from the rich elite coast of Kennebunkport, ME. That’s right, right up there with other elite liberal East Coasters. Fraudulent douchebag…giving TX a bad name. (Kind of like Mother Sarah fouling up hockey for everyone with a brain!)
Fuck, fuck, fuck, where’s my suitcase…
I DID leave, and that’s why I am a content individual today. I’m not going back either, as long as that man’s alive.
“I have been president long enough to have seen tough situations and have seen the resilience of the people in dealing with the tough situations.”
So I figgered I was gonna come down here and see what kinda shit y’all was in. heh heh.
What do Texas and Tina Turner have in common? They were both beat up by Ike.
Thanks, I’ll be here all week.
Perhaps Mexico will take Texas back now that ‘the decider’ has fouled it up! Viva Texas!
Is there anything in Texas beyond the vast, post-apocalyptic tundras of DFW?
[re=97296]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I was gonna go that route, but, it’s only right you were given first dibs on that one.
The Connecticut Cowboy Rides Again!
And if you’re looking for a new home, I understand Alaska is a happy place for under-educated, rednecked, bible-cluching, meth-heads. They’ve also got all the oil we need and their head of agriculture loved cows as a child.
Here’s something interesting while Wonkette takes its lunch break.
The guy who draws Dilbert did a survey of economists on which candidate would be best for the economy.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/09/16/dilbert.economy/index.html
So you can feel a little better that your bet is with the smart money guys…though they may be completely wrong.
[re=97279]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: I think you mean Kali?
My god, this is a disaster! The remaining homes will now surely be foreclosed by the approaching Bush. We must watch these people on teevee and solemnly shake our heads in support people!
“Aiee! Even losing the popular vote does no-theeeng! Save the womenz and childrenz!”
Of course, if I heard a giant, old bush was going to sweep into my town, I’d leave too…or bring goggles and a weedwhacker.
I hope Ike levelled Dick Armey’s house, so Bush can talk inspiringly about rebuilding it, sitting on the porch, and listening to the darkies’ sweet singin’ in de eebnin.
[re=97283]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I wonders if he realizes that just because things were swept clean, it doesn’t mean they won’t grow back.
After housing 6 family members and their 4 dogs for 5 looooooong days during Ike, bring it on, Bush. I ain’t skeered a nuthin.
I’m so glad that their electricity was restored, allowing them to perform a self-eviction late yesterday afternoon.
*sobbing quietly while picking dog hair off my couch*
[re=97317]WadISay[/re]: ala Disney:
“I dun seen ’bout evre-theeng, but Ah ain’t seen FEMA do a heckuva job…”
[re=97296]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Actually he was born in New Haven, Lieberman country.
Is there a CNN T-shirt with that on it?
[re=97323]sanantonerose[/re]: I assume your Roomba committed suicide when they all moved in? Oh wait, too elitist?
Doesn’t he realize it was a hurricane and he should be somewhere eating birthday cake?
[re=97309]loudmouthredhead[/re]: Maybe Robert Oppenheimer was wrong?
[re=97296]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: …you guys have had this coming for a long, long time! Let me refresh your memory about some of Texas’s SINS!!!
-Walker Texas Ranger
-the retarded quote “Everything is bigger in Texas”
-Cowboy hats
-Anna Nicole Smith
-The Cowboys
-Texas shares a border with New Mexico, Oklahoma and Arkansas(which concentrates its red neck-ness)
-My crazy EX!!!
-Texas Toast(ok, just kidding I like Texas toast)
[re=97343]loudmouthredhead[/re]: No, *I* almost committed suicide. Seriously, how many of you have ever had to lock yourself in your bathroom in order to have Quiet Internet Time?
Whoa ho, wacky! Hey did you guys also hear the one about Dan Quayle? Where he says something that he thinks is a normal thing to say but really it is a wacky misstatement about astronauts or something? Wa-hacky!
[re=97353]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: *Guffaw guffaw* What would a nuclear physicist know about the subtleties of Hindu cosmology? *chortle* Um, probably more than me? But I blame teh Wiki…
Man, where’s the love for my home state?
[re=97358]sanantonerose[/re]: Um, once or twice a day? Perhaps I’ve admitted too much…
That headline isn’t nearly as funny as:
Palin aide: Obama backers taint probe
and
The ‘Porno’ actress playing Laura Bush
[re=97362]loudmouthredhead[/re]: Actually, that’s a good point. The physicists I know all have even higher unsubstantiated opinions of their intellect than Republican strategists. He was a commie, anyway.
[re=97281]SuperRounder[/re]: We have a winner!
I am become bush, destroyer of all that is smooth and right.
[re=97433]bago[/re]: Smooth and NON-CHAFFING
/fixed
The East coast elites would have never elected this little crap a governor.
[re=97306]Cape Clod[/re]: As an bidness man, w couldn’t find oil in Texas for Christ’s sake. How do you expect him to find any in Alaska?
is that one available on a tshirt too?? i’d absolutely get one of those.
They foisted him on us, this is what they deserve. He gets to stagger around and give people disaster related nicknames and they have to take it.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
I thought he was retiring to Paraguay? I was hoping a death squad would trap him there or something.
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