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OUR FLOURISHING ECONOMY

But the Fundamentals Are Strong!

John McCain said, today, that the “fundamentals of our economy are strong.” He doesn’t even know what this is supposed to mean, of course, because all he knows about the economy is that the Navy gives you money and benefits and the Senate gives you money and benefits and Social Security gives you money and benefits and your Beer Heiress wife buys your seven castles and private jet. But what did the markets have to say? Uh, how about a 504-point drop in the Dow and a 4.7% plunge in the S&P?

  • “A stunning makeover of the Wall Street landscape sent stocks falling precipitously Monday, with the Dow Jones industrials sliding 500 points in their worst point drop since the September 2001 terrorist attacks.” [AP]
  • “U.S. stocks tumbled, pushing the Standard & Poor’s 500 Index to the steepest drop since the September 2001 terrorist attacks, as Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc.’s bankruptcy and declining commodities increased speculation that credit-market losses and the economic slowdown will worsen.” [Bloomberg]
  • “After more than six months in triple-digit territory, oil prices dropped sharply on Monday, falling under the symbolic $100-a-barrel threshold as financial woes raised concerns about a slowing economy and slackening oil demand.” [New York Times]
  • “It was the biggest one-day point decline for the Dow since Sept. 17, 2001, when the market reopened for trading after having been closed in the aftermath of 9/11 terrorist attacks.” [CNN Money]
  • Oh and some kind of creepy Catholic (?) pizza-money group caused the entire collapse and some internut predicted this would all happen today, or something. Creepy! [Gawker]


4:50 PM on Mon September 15 2008
By Ken Layne
6324 Views

  1. The “fundamentals are strong” is repub code for “I’m rich and your fucked.”

  2. Well, what’s the point of the ekonomies when you’ve got $100m in the bank & recessions = more beer profits. Only Cindy Hershey will be better off + she’s 20 years younger than Cindy Busch.

  3. Two words: Golden. Parachute.

  4. Is Walnuts wearing a Bolo tie in that photo or is that some kind of life-giving anti-melanomia 10-gallon hat

  5. SuperRounder says at 4:54 pm, September 15th, 2008

    Oil’s down. That’s good. But WALNUTS’ daughter drives a Prius and they took WALNUTS’ license away because he can’t even type very long or whatever.

  6. AngryBlakGuy says at 4:55 pm, September 15th, 2008

    …how are pork bellies and cosmetics doing?

  7. hockeymom says at 4:55 pm, September 15th, 2008

    Idiot.
    He’ll probably go up five more points in the poll for having a sunny outlook. We’re doomed.

  8. I sense some more ads on the economy coming from the Obama campaign… 3…2…1…

  9. irisheyes says at 4:57 pm, September 15th, 2008

    I guess they were all out in the lobby on their phones with their stockbrokers?

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/09/15/mccains-crowd-numbers-plu_n_126490.html

  10. The stockmarket made me shit myself today. But the fundamentals of my underpants are still strong.

  11. madirishman says at 4:58 pm, September 15th, 2008

    I believe he meant to say, “The FUNDAMENTALISTS of the economy are strong”, because the fundies keep sending money to the TV preachers so that God will protect them from abortions, gays, AIDS, black people, Hispanics and (horror of horrors) LIBERALS!!!

  12. btwbfdimho says at 4:58 pm, September 15th, 2008

    Did he say fundamentals or fundamentalists?

  13. magic titty says at 5:01 pm, September 15th, 2008

    hockeymom: They’re fucked. Chuhhh-rust me.
    You can’t talk about the fundamentals being strong while the very basis of the system is coming apart at the seams.

    It has a three-pronged problem. It either sounds like they’re lying, they’re ‘out of touch’, or this is the system they’d like to see continue under his regime.

    They. Is. Fucked.

  14. btwbfdimho says at 5:03 pm, September 15th, 2008

    “…oil prices dropped sharply on Monday”.

    How many days until the Dick & Bush Administration puts a zillion to rescue the agonizing oil industry?

  15. Gopherit v2.0 says at 5:04 pm, September 15th, 2008

    Ahh, the republican economic fundamentals. The Chinese will still loan us money. Our economy must be strong!

  16. problemwithcaring says at 5:06 pm, September 15th, 2008

    Wow, it’s like the attacks of 9/11 without all the clutter. The Saudis should have put Greenspan and the Bushies on the payroll ages ago…

  17. Viva la Cynthia says at 5:07 pm, September 15th, 2008

    If Hopey doesn’t release an ad that literally says exactly this, “On the same day that our economy pretty much officially tanked, Old Man Grumps said that the fundamentals of our economy were strong, AGAIN, while you and your family headed out to find the nearest breadline” then I’m gonna ask him for my $50 back.

  18. btwbfdimho: Or bomb Iran.

  19. bitchincamaro says at 5:08 pm, September 15th, 2008

    If he truly believes the fundamentals are strong, I’ve got a bridge to-and-from nowhere to sell him.

  20. AngryBlakGuy says at 5:09 pm, September 15th, 2008

    …our economy is a farce! Its the equivalent of a poor person pawning off all their stuff just to give the perception that they are rich. All of this so called GDP growth is coming from China buying us out.

  21. Viva la Cynthia says at 5:11 pm, September 15th, 2008

    So, I would put money on the next McCain ad saying, “If the economy’s so bad, whiners, then why did Obama raise more money in August than any presidential candidate ever? Losers…”

  22. Johnny Zhivago says at 5:13 pm, September 15th, 2008

    Bush’s final legacy will be a ruinous oil glut, where the price dips below 30 cents a barrel.

  23. What are the economics of crashing aircraft?

  24. Johnny Zhivago says at 5:15 pm, September 15th, 2008

    Hey, doubters and haters…

    McCain/Palin will appoint Carly Fiorina to be Secretary of the Treasury and she’ll fix the economy the way she fixed Lucent and HP.

    http://kumquatcomputer.com/fidora.htm

  25. No, no, no… You misunderstood what Johnny-Mac said!

    What he REALLY said was:

    “The FundamentalISTS of our economy are strong”

    Ever working hard to shore up his stock with the right-wingers (without Palin by his side, he’s gotta kiss up to them even more)

  26. Chuckie Jesus says at 5:15 pm, September 15th, 2008
  27. Johnny Zhivago: Too bad we don’t do titles to president’s names, ’cause he could go down as ‘Bush the Destroyer’.

  28. Most think that the pope is the head of the worldwide catholic pizza conspiracy to take over the world, but that is all a cover story for the real mastermind behind it all:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzE44TGYpCY&feature=related

  29. magic titty says at 5:17 pm, September 15th, 2008

    Johnny Zhivago: Oh sweet Jesus. Fiorina isn’t even qualified to smile outside.

  30. If the US elects this mean old fuck, it deserves everything it gets. I’m sorry, we are so fucked!

  31. grendel: From Biden via TPM
    …I could walk from here to Lansing, and I wouldn’t run into a single person who thought our economy was doing well, unless I ran into John McCain. …

  32. stew: We could have a Designated Apologist follow President WALNUTS around and read a ’standard disclaimer’ before he says anything.

  33. Johnny Zhivago says at 5:20 pm, September 15th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: STOP WORRYING!!!

    Secretary of Commerce Meg Whitman will put what’s left of our nuclear weapons stockpile, national parks and the Tennessee Valley Authority on Ebay. That should fetch a tidy sum!

    Secretary of State Chuck Norris will brow beat China into extending those loans.

    And Secretary of Transportation Dale Earnhardt will finally shut down Amtrak and our unsafe commuter rail networks and offer low cost Hummers to every American who still has a job.

  34. Gopherit v2.0 says at 5:23 pm, September 15th, 2008

    Viva la Cynthia: I’d like to see an ad more like this:

    scene: a running herd of caribou, as seen from a helicopter

    voiceover: “The majestic caribou. Lead by the strongest, the smartest, the most fit. It’s the Alaskan way.”

    the scene pans to the back of the heard to reveal a pack of wolves in pursuit of the caribou.

    voiceover: In troubled times, with the wolves of economic troubles and global terrorism nipping at our heels, don’t we want the smart, the strong, the fit to lead us?”

    Scene ends with an old bull caribou being taken down by the pack and ravaged, with two sets of transparent headlines over the scene……one saying “McCain: Our Economy is Strong”, the other “The Dow Drops 500 points in one day.”

    Final voiceover: ” John McCain, always running a half a step behind.”

  35. pdiddycornchips says at 5:24 pm, September 15th, 2008

    In these uncertain economic times, I plan on making a large investment in pharmaceuticals. Now, if only could find that dude’s beeper number.

  36. Gopherit v2.0 says at 5:25 pm, September 15th, 2008

    btwbfdimho: He meant to say,”The Mental Fundies are strong.”

    And as usual, he is very wrong. Probably lying, too.

  37. Johnny Zhivago: Gotta go get me some megatonnage. Better ‘n Black Cats and sparklers!

  38. Hey, listen Ole Johnny McC learned to say that from a master. Herbert Hoover said just that all through the depression, during his presidency and after.

  39. iwillsavethispatient says at 5:26 pm, September 15th, 2008

    So, is McCain waiting until tomorrow before announcing his “privatize social security” policy? It’s odd how nobody mentions that idea much anymore…

  40. Matthews is badgering a senior Mccain policy adviser (Nancy Pfotenhauer?) on this issue tonight. For some reason she won’t reveal who she voted for in 2004, she can’t justify the “fundamentals” comment, and now he’s just shouting at her that she’s a Republican shill who keeps whining about the democrats wanting to tax us without saying what WALNUTS will do to solve our “mental” recession.

  41. Kev-O-Tron says at 5:33 pm, September 15th, 2008

    Fuck that. Anyone seen the price of arugula at Whole Foods lately?

    I know, I know… low-hanging arugula…it’s been a rough day- cut me some slack.

  42. http://embeds.blogs.foxnews.com/2008/09/15/palin-addresses-wall-street-financial-crisis/
    —- [Palin] blamed the government and Wall Street for today’s financial turmoil, “Guys and gals, our regulatory system is outdated and needs a complete overhaul. Washington has ignored this. Washington has been asleep at the switch and ineffective and management on Wall Street has not run these institutions responsibly and has put companies and markets at risk,” Palin told the cheering crowd, “They place their own interests first instead of their employees and the shareholders who actually own these companies.”
    “And always keep fresh batteries on hand in case of an emergency,” —-
    ******************
    Guys, gals, it’s a wonder she didn’t also blame Saddam Hussein.

    BTW: When was the last time Repubs gave a flying fuck about employees?

  43. Johnny Zhivago: Dale Earnhardt Senior or Junior?

  44. Kev-O-Tron says at 5:36 pm, September 15th, 2008

    iwillsavethispatient: My idea of private social security now involves a coffee can and a shovel. Oh yes and a shotgun and ski mask.

  45. iwillsavethispatient says at 5:38 pm, September 15th, 2008

    Kev-O-Tron: Never mind arugula, have you seen the cost of lemons? I’m having to put washing-up liquid in my gin and tonics!

  46. slithy_tove says at 5:40 pm, September 15th, 2008

    McCain/Palin can’t wait to sail this titanic Ship Of State full speed ahead into an economic iceberg. And as always, there will only be enough lifeboats for the wealthy.

  47. The Cold Sea says at 5:41 pm, September 15th, 2008

    Lehman Bros., survived the Civil War, the crash of the 1890s, the Great Depression, but didn’t survive the Bush Administration.

  48. SayItWithWookies says at 5:41 pm, September 15th, 2008

    S.Luggo: Well if you can’t trust McCain, who’s been for deregulation right before every single financial crisis that happened during his Senate tenure, and Sarah Palin, who can see the economy from her house, to tighten regulations on Wall Street, then you can’t trust anyone to.
    Certainly not that guy they’re always criticizing because he’s for Big Goverment and More Regulation.

  49. Texan Bulldoggette says at 5:43 pm, September 15th, 2008

    Johnny Zhivago: RE: Meg Whitman: read that Ebay’s pretty good to the gays. You know–thinks they should have rights & shit, so Pres. McPalin ain’t gonna hire her to do anything.

    Has Chuckles Norris gotten over his non-sexual man crush on Huckleberry?

    And Dale Earnhardt is dead; he does have a boy, but I read he was a Hillary supporter. But skin pigments can make normal, level headed NASCAR guys (oxymoron?) do stoopid things.

  50. V572625694 says at 5:44 pm, September 15th, 2008

    problemwithcaring: “The Saudis should have put Greenspan and the Bushies on the payroll ages ago…The Saudis should have put Greenspan and the Bushies on the payroll ages ago…” Oh, they did, even before Bush II was elected. Why do you think we saved their bacon (he he) in the First Persian Gulf War?

  51. magic titty says at 5:44 pm, September 15th, 2008

    The Cold Sea: There’s nothing to add to this. Pure gold.

  52. bitchincamaro says at 5:45 pm, September 15th, 2008

    Mayor Bloomberg thinks all the pink-slippers can get jobs in delis downtown. I’m thinking more like downtown Delhi.

  53. Presumably Cindy McCain is worth a little–say $10 million or so–less tonight that she was this morning. If I were her, I would hide someplace until the market recovers.

  54. Gopherit v2.0 says at 5:50 pm, September 15th, 2008

    WadISay: she has 7-10 houses from which to choose.

  55. bitchincamaro says at 5:50 pm, September 15th, 2008

    Gopherit v2.0: “I’m bitchincamaro, and I strongly approve of your message.”

  56. facehead:
    The “fundamentals are strong”, but we’re in “economic crisis”. This is a chance to construct some SAT analogies.
    A. Your health is sound, but:
    1. You have leprosy, beri-beri and are legally blind.
    2. I lost my medical license 8 years ago. Now bend over.
    3. I left a retractor, three lap spounges and half a pastrami-on-rye inside you.
    4. Can I compose your eulogy?

  57. Johnny Zhivago says at 5:54 pm, September 15th, 2008

    Texan Bulldoggette: The McCain campaign should hire me to do it’s Vetting - I only picked one dead guy.

  58. Johnny Zhivago says at 5:55 pm, September 15th, 2008

    S.Luggo: Either one will do. I mean do you really have to be breathing to be in McCain’s cabinet?

  59. Smoke Filled Roommate says at 5:56 pm, September 15th, 2008

    See what happens when everybody wants a house?

  60. iwillsavethispatient: Lysol is so much cheaper than gin.

  61. soytrucknutz says at 6:00 pm, September 15th, 2008

    I think he actually meant ‘the fundamentalists’ are strong - how else to explain Governor Palin? Jesus is a recession-proof industry.

  62. lilblackcorvette says at 6:02 pm, September 15th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: i don’t see loquacious around and you seem to explain things just as well…..
    I’m jane winebox , got a cool apartment, blue collar job seems pretty stable, car note is up to date, got health care, the guys tell me my 401k(fidelity) goes up and down anyway, got no kids but can afford to place nephew in pee wee football, generally life’s been good to me so far….
    If I don’t watch TV, I’m relatively stress free…

    Why do I care about Wall Street???

  63. McCain: Breadlines You Can Believe In!

  64. ATTENTION: This statement by Sen. John McCain has been widely misquoted in the mainstream press:

    When McCain said what appeared to be “our economy” in today’s statement, he actually said “R.E. Conomey”. It turns out that McCain was referring to Rudolph Ellis ’R. E.’ Conomey, a historical, but little-known basketball (BAA) pro player on the New York Knickerbockers who played during the late 1940’s. He thought the press’s question regarding the sorry state of the nation’s economy in September 2008 was actually an inquiry from sports commentators regarding Conomey; specifically with regard to his performance on the court during a 1948 Baltimore Bullets v. Knickerbockers game.

    The rest of McCain’s statement, widely unreported, is as follows:

    JM: “The fundamentals of R. E. Conomey are strong.”

    Press: “Sir, how can you say that; there was a 500 point loss from the DOW today!”

    JM: “You can say what you like about Dowd (James Franklin Dowd, Knickerbocker center from 1945-49, d. 1956), and, honestly, I think 500 points is a bit of an exaggeration! But make no mistake, R. E. Conomey will REBOUND strong!

    Press: “Why are you confident in this?”

    JM: Because the Globetrotters are a bunch of giggle water suckin’ drugstore cowboys who don’t have the fundamentals of R. E. Conomey!

    Press: *Shocked silence*

  65. InsidiousTuna says at 6:06 pm, September 15th, 2008

    lilblackcorvette: The people who pay you for doing your blue-collar job are about to have no money to pay you with.

  66. “Economic fundamentals are strong”

    Translation: “Beer is recession-proof”

  67. lilblackcorvette: “Why do I care about Wall Street???”

    More to the point, why do you care about anyone? It ain’t your problem.

  68. pdiddycornchips says at 6:14 pm, September 15th, 2008

    Palin is right about the need for a regulatory overhaul. Probs about the batteries too. Of course she didn’t mention the time to diffuse a bomb is prior to it’s exploding in your face. Isn’t it the Republican party that hates regulation?

  69. S.Luggo: WTF “They place their own interests first instead of their employees and the shareholders who actually own these companies.” ???
    what the hell does that mean? If the shareholders put a management in place that concocts financial instruments that are destructive to world financial markets, destroying savings and equity exactly _what_ should the government be doing to help them? I thought the firms were supposed to be looking out for their shareholders and employees. The gov’t is trying to stabilize a deteriorating financial situation. that these companies brought on. Of course, we can always hope some of the higher management got rich in the process — so some good comes from this.

  70. Sonoran Sam says at 6:23 pm, September 15th, 2008

    Buddy, can you spare some bacon - and a little lipstick?

  71. lilblackcorvette says at 6:29 pm, September 15th, 2008

    InsidiousTuna: my company has been through a lot and we’re owned by a very large international conglomerate. euro-wise, the stock value is up everytime i check our intranet. In fact I work two jobs for shit and giggles. Hell, I even got my buddy a great job that he loves. Why do I care if some greedy fat cats made out on Wall Street

  72. things are so bad that i receioved a coupon at the checkout counter at giant for one free bank. good for one week provided i get a suit and tie and buy a bag of nacho chips.

  73. lilblackcorvette says at 6:32 pm, September 15th, 2008

    WIDTAP: actually, you probably wouldn’t relate to why I care about anyone.Just accept the fact that I do care . Iam just asking what everyday people are asking. What’s the big deal? Exactly what is that is not my problem?

  74. they say history repeats itself. not true, to date bush has not ordered the shooting of returning veterans (when they wanted benefits) as hoover did. see.

  75. smellyal8r says at 6:39 pm, September 15th, 2008

    Let us not forget that Jamakane has vast experience with financial markets: The Keating Five. McCain stood by and did nothing while the regulatory environment encouraged this kind of speculation and the “Reagan Revolution” that made everyone responsible for their own retirement, meaning they were investing in things they didn’t understand — through both their 401k and other random stock purchases. That, coupled with “deregulation” that came after the last S&L crisis, allowed banks, insurance companies, KFC, whoever, to buy, merge and kill whatever they wanted, all in the name of “a robust economy”. After years in the oil patch, I can tell you: what goes up, must come down. Somewhere, somehow it all falls on the taxpayer to bail things out because, well, we can’t let all this good ol’ Republican risk punish shareholders now, can we? Shocked, shocked to discover that CEOs and others will get a truckload of money to simply leave…

  76. The Lucky Republican says at 6:40 pm, September 15th, 2008

    How can someone say the economy is not strong? I just read that the wife of a snowmobile racer can afford a tanning bed for her home in Alaska.

    I want to see what liberull arguments are used to counter that!!

  77. smellyal8r says at 6:41 pm, September 15th, 2008

    njdon: Genius. Funny.

  78. iwillsavethispatient: They use lime here. Can’t get a decent G&T with lemon at the local. Uncivilized.

  79. WagTehGod says at 6:59 pm, September 15th, 2008

    I’m glad at least oil prices are dropping, because now I can afford to hop in my car and drive the fuck out of this country.

  80. shoeho: I prefer lime. I didn’t realize people made them with lemon.

  81. smellyal8r says at 7:09 pm, September 15th, 2008

    Meanwhile, down here at Hurricane Ike, we await the arrival of the traveling media circus with HRH GW Bush. We suspect that Hopey and Walnuts will trail behind…”yes, yes, the storm was awful, what’s your story my poor man…buck up. The fundamentals of the economy are strong. Sorry you can’t find ice and water…you are loved…g’bye.”

  82. Oscar Folsom Cleveland says at 7:18 pm, September 15th, 2008

    http://agonist.org/schecter/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/mccainhoover.jpg

    Thank Jeebus for the fundamentalists and the Jewish right wing Wall Street cabal!!

  83. sati demise says at 7:20 pm, September 15th, 2008

    InsidiousTuna: wait until the wheelbarrow you use to carry a load of money to the store to buy a box of wine is worth more than the paper mound of money in that wheel barrow.

    Keep printing that money, boys, and we will have hyper-inflation.

  84. What if the economy did collapse … would the fundies wise up and realize that their republican buddies have assfucked the economy (with no lube)? Or would they claim that it collapsed because of Roe v. Wade?

  85. njdon: Well technically Bush didn’t shoot them ala hoover, he just re-deployed them and hoped that Al-Q would do him a favor….

    it was either that or turn Dick Cheney and his trusty shotgun on them, but tricky-Dick is just too poor a shot to trust with such an important task.

  86. Well, actually, I just realized that for Johnny-Mac, the economy IS fundamentally strong!!

    Think about it…. you lose your house, job, life-saving, retirement, et al… what do most good Americans do in the face of such a crisis???

    GET DRUNK!

    And when your wife owns a beer distributorship….

  87. sati demise says at 7:26 pm, September 15th, 2008

    lilblackcorvette: well, the EU is going to be hit hard by this too. These American companies trade on the global market.

    I would ask your company to be transfered to the EU if you happen to get sick though. Because your ‘health insurance’ in the US may find a way to deny your claim/make you pay for 80%, /bullshit you until you die from denial of treatment. Or all of the above.

  88. pdiddycornchips says at 7:27 pm, September 15th, 2008

    qwerty42:

    ” I thought the firms were supposed to be looking out for their shareholders and employees. The gov’t is trying to stabilize a deteriorating financial situation. that these companies brought on.”

    Umm…I remember when the fed had interest rates at 1/2 a percent. I wonder if giving away money to Wall Street banks and brokerage firms may have encouraged them in some small way. Maybe they decided to make loans that were less than appropriate and create crazy financial instruments because it allowed them an opportunity to put capital to work. Since the capital was basically free, why not? Naw, I’m sure you’re right. Government had nothing at all to do with this.

  89. smellyal8r says at 7:29 pm, September 15th, 2008

    facehead: No. Teh gayz…

  90. Coffee Clutcher 79 says at 7:34 pm, September 15th, 2008

    Bush/McCain are are to the economy what Al Qaieda was to the World Trade Center

    Complete and utter destruction

  91. “Maybe you haven’t been keepin’ up on current events, pal, but we just got our asses kicked!”
    -Bill Paxton as PFC Hudson

  92. On the other hand, that hat he’s wearing is darling.

  93. teebob2000 says at 8:07 pm, September 15th, 2008

    This is great. McCain said, “the fundamentals are strong.”

    Obama skewered him for saying so.

    Then, McCain said he meant that “American workers” are the fundamentals he meant, and said that Obama thinks American workers have let the economy down.

    Ummm…

    Errr…

    Yeah.

  94. Ken, over a year ago, as our Celtic Tiger economy started to fall apart over here, we had economists saying that “the fundamentals are still strong”. That turned out to be bullshit, and I don’t think anyone can get away with it now over here. That blather ceased about three to four months ago, not least because nobody could provide a convincing definition of the fundamentals.

    The latest mantra we get is that “the markets are undergoing a necessary correction, which will in time lead to an upturn”. Ha ha. And I am Chauncey Gardiner.

    Basically, we are all doomed, unless we move to China, or maybe Mars.

  95. ultrapeanut says at 8:14 pm, September 15th, 2008

    That’s what they say about the WNBA.

  96. njdon: No shooting of Vets, but true to Neocon philosophy, the Bush Admin has put an emphasis on personal responsibility and non-reliance on soul-sucking government support. To be unshackled from the state, one must be free to treat one’s own PTSD. (See: “Let Them Eat Cake, a Post-FDR-Socialism Solution to Economic Disruption” by Milton Friedman. [American Enterprise Institute Press])

  97. pdiddycornchips: ok, when was the fed rate .5% ? … what — way back in 2002-2003? So this all just kinda sprung up because of that? (and late -and now much lamented Glass-Steagell?) And things were great before? The fed didn’t lower rates on a whim, as i recall, there was a war and the dot bomb.
    ah, what the heck. if you think the gov’t was the prime cause, fine. i tend to feel the gov’t did not come up with absurd securities, but ya never know. and in the long run we’re all dead anyway. i think there is more dismal science humor to be mined from this, but am not up to it.

  98. TGY: I always think of him as “Bush the Lesser” just cause I know that would fuck with his Daddy issues. It’s especially said when you realize “Bush the Greater” weren’t so great.

  99. njdon: BTW: It was a bit crude of you to suggest that GWB would say that shooting thing. Why, dammit, he’s a goddam veteran himself (maybe of AA and/or nose candy rehab, but that‘s another issue). And he pulled himself up by the fortitude of daddy’s wallet and of his own IUD string to be come president.
    So quit the personal attacks.

  100. donner_froh says at 8:35 pm, September 15th, 2008

    S.Luggo: She clearly has no idea what the words she is saying mean. Seems to be along these lines: Regulation of financial markets lead to poor management who try to enrich themselves.

    Maybe its time to go back to the good old days of Jay Gould and Jim Fisk when they didn’t need regualators to show them how to steal with both hands.

    http://www.digitalhistory.uh.edu/database/article_display.cfm?HHID=203

    http://www.answers.com/topic/james-fisk

  101. NotLaughing says at 8:59 pm, September 15th, 2008

    S.Luggo: In what respect, Charlie?

  102. NotLaughing says at 9:03 pm, September 15th, 2008

    wheelie: I’m packed, tanned and ready to go!

  103. qwerty42: “If the shareholders put a management in place [then they deserve what they get].

    Assuming that shareholders put management in place, shareholders don’t deserve unbridled [unregulated] incompetence.
    Anyway, not true shareholders puting management in place.
    Shareholders elect board directors [e.g. for phased 3 year terms]. The directors meet periodically (e.g. once every three months for few hours with the agenda prepared by management.) The board of directors appoints top management or maybe just the CEO; he/she then appoints the rest of top management, which appoints middle management, etc. Entrenched management is always smart enough to be able to maneuver its golf-buddies, its fuck-buddies, or total penis-heads onto the board to be steered to serve managers’ (rather than shareholders‘) interests. Think Enron.

    Enron top management tune:
    “That`s where my money goes
    To buy my baby clothes
    Nobody`s business what I do.”

  104. pdiddycornchips: In case you thought this was going to get better soon…. Don’t bet on it.

  105. donner_froh: “Maybe it’s time to go back to the good old days of Jay Gould and Jim Fisk when they didn’t need regulators to show them how to steal with both hands.”
    Good times, good times. But that was the era of America’s economic freedom, when coalminers, cotton mill workers, clothing sweatshop indentured servants and iron furnace skivvies were absolutely free from the heavy hand of government workplace safety regulation. America could grow.
    McCain/Palin 2008

  106. I missed you luvvable tykes. Just had to spend 72 hours on the financials. Wow.

    Conclusion: where are we going and why are we in this handbasket?

    Good news: financials snark too! Platinum!

  107. azw88: I am envisioning “The Saddest Music in the World” with McCain in Isabella Rosellini’s role. If anyone has hidden hollow legs made of glass for drinking beer, it’s WALNUTS.

  108. villageatrois says at 11:06 pm, September 15th, 2008

    Dear Diary,

    Sarah came over yesterday, fresh from doing her Tina Fey impersonation on SNL. She was astounding! As soon as I told her how wonderful she was, her pantsuit was hanging over the birdcage and she was ripping off my drawers. We fucked.

    While she was catching her breath, she talked about her baby going to Iraq. She had a brave face, though I could only see the top of her head at that point, and she said “it’s God’s will. But please God, if he’s going to get killed, let it be before November, while I’m still young enough to have another baby and help John McCain do your will.”

    During her prayer, we had both gotten down on our knees. After an awkward few moments of foreheads to knees, we landed in a suitable position for mutual oral pleasure, and she continued praying, like eleven times in just a few minutes. She was incredible. And then she had to rush out to catch an airplane to go put Todd on the ice. If it freezes solid, he won’t float out of the harbor until Spring. She’ll be in Washington by then, and it would be unsuitable to fly him there for an Aleut funeral. Anyway, the effin’ Democrats don’t allow that in Chesapeake Bay.

    And then Cindi came over! And what a tale I have to tell about her tail, but that will have to wait. I’m really very, very tired now.

    In reverance of the infinite Grace of God,

    Lt. Huskey Beefcake, USMC

  109. DoesThisKool-AidTasteFunny? says at 11:59 pm, September 15th, 2008

    So, is it time yet to barricade myself in my home and set family members on a guard duty schedule to protect our belongings with firearms? Or do I wait until AIG fails too? Sorry, I’m just not sure about the proper financial meltdown etiquette. And Miss Manners has got nothin’.

  110. pdiddycornchips says at 12:09 am, September 16th, 2008

    qwerty42:

    “ok, when was the fed rate .5% ? … what — way back in 2002-2003? So this all just kinda sprung up because of that?”

    Well, yeah. Banks quickly exhausted quality assets to securitize so they turned to lousy assets and seccuritized those. It didn’t happen overnight but quality assets rose in value too quickly. Remember when your house doubled in value every two years? That was unsustainable but the regulators pretended it was perfectly normal. Tons of new and interesting financial products were produced by the street because money was cheap and the appetite for these instruments was strong. Eventually, it all collapsed under the weight of all that leverage. The trigger was subprime mortgages but it would have collapsed sooner or later anyway. I’m not saying wall street didn’t screw us royally, they did, but they had some help. I’m sure there’s some quality snark opportunities here too but I don’t feel much like snarking right about now. I feel like heading to CostCo and stocking up on can goods.

  111. pdiddycornchips says at 12:21 am, September 16th, 2008

    grendel:

    I feel your pain. The regulators are trying to act the part. By that I mean they have no idea what to do and so they bring in the very people responsible for this debacle and ask them what the fed should do. Surprisingly these geniuses decided the fed should help them. What the fed should have said it this is your shit sandwich, you guys eat it.

  112. MilwaukeeKent says at 3:21 am, September 16th, 2008

    A fellow who thinks the economy is fine and dandy — and he likes the cut of its jib!

  113. disgustedcitizen says at 9:01 am, September 16th, 2008

    The Cold Sea: I don’t think this country will survive the bush admin.

  114. Big Al1317 says at 10:35 am, September 16th, 2008

    This is only the tip of the financial iceberg. We’re fucked.

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