Wonkette
- Palin had a tanning bed installed in the Alaska’s governor’s mansion. She could see Russia from that tanning bed. [Ezra Klein]
- Look into Barack Obama’s very soul with a theocrat/secularist ass thermometer that also appears to be a hypnosis device. [BeliefNet]
- Palin is trying to get some hockey moms to wear a button that features this nautical star thing popular with emo heroin addicts. [Jonathan Martin]
- Despite “not wanting to judge” gay people, Palin’s church has a history of trying to “cure” gay people, with Jesus! [Andrew Sullivan]
- In a new teevee commercial, Obama exposes McCain’s corrupt secret handshakes with lobbying fatcats like President Bush. [Crooks and Liars]
- Bored out of her mind, Cindy McCain begins public ladyfeud with the mental cases on The View, even the weepy conservative one! [Fresh Intelligence]
RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS
Get That Sunny Alaskan Tan, All Year Round!
Read More:
4:29 PM
on Mon September 15 2008
By
Juli Weiner
1081 Views
How many damn hockey moms are there in the lower 48….really? I mean soccer must rank higher than hockey for crying out loud. Half the states don’t even get snow, much less have ponds freeze up ala Currier & Ives. And if you think the indoor ice rinks are popular, those things only get use after every Winter Olympic by mommas trying to bring up the next Tonya Harding. Crap, Foosball tables at Chuck E. Cheese get more use than indoor ice skating rinks. And people around here would rather watch bowling than hockey, so Screw the ‘hockey moms’ theme.
She had a tanning bed installed? So thaaaaat’s how the repubs are trying to get the black vote…
Tanning bed? Lip line tatoos??
Anyone up to write the lyrics to the “Naval Observatory Hillbillies”???
As much as I love a good horror movie Cindy McCain verses The View sounds way too scary for me.
I have four “nautical star thing” tattoos and I am neither heroin addicted nor emo. I am, however, highly unoriginal and will now go to the employee bathroom to cry (while listening to shitty emo music and shooting smack.)
Democrats would never nominate a VP candidate who cared that much about his appearance. Is Palin screwing her videographer?
Does Joy Behar have to choke a bitch?
Good to know she’s keeping spending to just necessities up there
Here’s all I know about Obama. When the debates roll around he better not forget Poland…
You didn’t mention that they’re handing out the buttons IN FLORIDA! Yeah, Florida is just chock full of HOCKEY MOMS being a subtropical climate and all… Keep it up Repubtards!
The last link goes to the god-o-meter thing instead of the fresh intelligence thing. Is god trying to tell me something?
She loves McCain SOOOOO much she wants to get melanoma just like him.
“Palin’s church has a history of trying to “cure” gay people, with Jesus!”
And I try to cure religious people with George Michael so it cancels out in the cosmic sense.
Really… a tanning bed? Really?? The term “high class white trash” comes to mind. I suppose they have an above-ground pool in the back yard? Does Todd play golf shirtless and barefoot? Jesus Snow-Machine Christ.
Johnny Zhivago: here’s my shot
Come and listen to a story ’bout a gal named Palin
The Crystal Meth mayor, a governor who was failin
Then one day she was shooting at some food
And up from Arizona came a bumblin’ crude
Walnuts, that is. White John. Arizona tea.
Well the next thing you know, old Sarah’s a big hit
Kin folk said Sarah, play up the Jesus shit
Said Washington is the place you oughta be
So she flip-flopped and lied and moved to DC
(The capital that is, and now we’re all fucked)
How many times has Jesus tried to cure my of my major cokslovin issue. Well, I just keep goin back for more. Praise Jesus
Texan Bulldoggette: Although my hatred of the right-wing is documented and legendary, whatever brings hockey some pub is a good thing. It’s the most awesomest sport that ever awesomed.
Also, and more to the subject of these articles, I don’t give a shit if Sarah Palin had a fucking tanning bed. I reserve my judgment for her foreign policy idiocy, her hardline & vengeful Christianity-speak, her unbridled mendacity, and general inability to do the job she is running for.
Let’s leave the rumor mill/gossip shit out of it. She’s a grand scale FAIL, but let’s focus on the ‘actual’ reasons why. We’ll be better off in the election this way.
End.
Sarah Palin: The gift that keeps on giving.
Monsieur Grumpe: I dunno, I’d watch her and Elizabeth in a grudge match. I think Cindy could take her, and then I wouldn’t have to listen to the little twit while waiting for the noon news to come on. Or, Joy/Whoopi could just bitchslap her. Either works.
BTW, love how Johnny got booed by the NYLady audience when he announced his “Views” on RvW. Get a uterus and we’ll talk about it, Gramps!
Oh well, fixed then. Thanks, god!
I was looking forward to seeing the trollopy cunt on “The View.” Well, you know which one I mean,I think. Anyway, apparently the “God-O-Meter” thingie got posted twice. btw, is that for real?
Hey, Palin. It’s me, Canada.
Give us our sport back. We actually enjoy hockey and have actual hockey moms and don’t want the very word “hockey” to forever elicit a Pavlovian response in Americans that makes them gag at the thought of your awfulness. You are tainting our nation’s game the way Mike Tyson tainted boxing.
Star Pucker.
How much was the tanning bed and how much did the chef she fired make?
magic titty: Regarding your love for hockey: errr….if you say so. You say ‘hockey’ around here, and you might as well say you’re going curling or shuffleboarding. I’ve actually seen lacrosse & rugby games here–no hockey. But hey, it’s 100 degrees about 6 months out of the year here.
And yeah, unless Palin has small children hung up to be dried into beef jerky, could care less about the tanning bed. I could say she’s a woman & women tend to like not looking like pasty wax, but I guess that would be sexist. But her stupidity about anything important is somewhat concerning!
j6n: Chef wasn’t fired. She was reassigned. Linky:
http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/2008/09/lazy-days-as-commanderinchef-p.php
Governor No-Tan-Lines. Kinky!
Looked it up. The tanning bed could cost as much as 35K and the chef was making 45K salary and benefits.
Kill Job, Get Tan.
And she never spent any time there, did she? Did they install one in Wasilla for her, too, or did that have to come out of the per diem?
BeliefNet does not thrill me, sorry. Ain’t goin’ there.
The more shit that gets discussed about Barry’s ‘beliefs’, the more I want to yell, “SO HE’S A CRYPTO-MUSLIM! SO WHAT? GET OVER IT, YOU FUCKERS. AT LEAST IT’S NOT GOLDEN PLATES.” But then my medication kicks in and things are groovy. Where are my fourty virgins and a mule?
Also, it’s very important to keep a bikini tan in Alaska just in case global warming is real.
Texan Bulldoggette: I get grief for my hockey beliefs here too! (From NYC)
I know it’s a not a hit down there, but I don’t mind. I’ll go down with the ship.
The killer is that this blithering idiot Veep candidate is now associated with my favorite sport.
If the so-called left-wing liberal medias just focuses on what’s important, they might actually help the candidate they’re alleged to be rooting for.
Alaskan women rejected Sarah Palin at a huge rally this weekend…pics and vid here: http://laurainak.blogspot.com
TGY: That’s the ticket — loyalty — even when it’s not cool. Why do you think I rooted for the Cowboys–through the good times & the bad (Aaccck…Danny White era, post Troy Aikman era, now the Jessica Simpson’s dumb boyfriend era). But hey gotta stick with them through thick & thin–makes the winning so sweet.
Anyhoo…yeah, I love the liberal media. The ones who think they have to balance the stories. If McCain calls Obama a child molester, that’s okay because Obama once used a semi-colon instead of a hyphen in a mailer.
Texan Bulldoggette: If you guys hate hockey so much down there, why did you steal our team? They went from being the kick ass Minnesota NORTHStars to some crappy overpaid piece of shit Stars team. Uber lame.
It took us, like, ten years to get over that.
Texan Bulldoggette: Hockey is insanely popular in some of the states that border Canada and a few that border them and not an issue everywhere else in the U.S.
By insanely popular I mean being happy that your league got ice time at 11:00PM this year instead of 5:00 AM like the last couple of years. Lame though that is.
Biden has the right idea. Don’t mention Palin, act as if she doesn’t exist. Keep the pressure on the doddering old fool.
The Unfairman: I agree. It’s not like the NBA & NFL teams were enough for Dallas. But I live in Austin–there isn’t ANYONE traveling from Austin to Dallas to see those guys play. And yeah, you could have them back if I had the choice.