Wonkette
A Wonkette publishing operative has sent us this leaked letter (.PDF) from the Workman Publishing Co., publishers of the new book “Is This Thing On?”: A Computer Handbook for Late Bloomers, Technophobes, and the Kicking & Screaming, to McCain deputy e-campaign director Mark Soohoo. The P.R. person writes that folks are being unfair with McCain by calling him “computer illiterate,” and appears to think there’s a chance Walnuts might accept an offer to do a “special one-on-one training session” with the book’s author. Our favorite line: “Mr. McCain mentioned that he liked reading Politico.com, so he is certainly no novice.” [Letter (.PDF)]
Hahahahaha! Another lie to attribute to McCain. NOBODY likes reading Politico.
What about Video Professor? All he’ll ask for in return is a 2 second video bit from McCain telling elderly viewers how he got online with AOL.
John McCain needs to get off the e-mail.
No, no, no, it’s “Mr. McCain likes having Politico.com read to him”.
After all, he can’t type because of FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, ALAN.
IIIII can’t even figure out how to work the Politico Tube
QUESTION: Do I always need to type “www.” before a web address?
ANSWER: Not necessarily. Some websites require that you do and others don’t. If you don’t type http://www. and the website doesn’t open, try it again with the w’s.
“One of Abby’s central tenets is ‘you don’t necessarily have to understand how a computer works in order to use it’”
Wait, you mean I don’t have to understand boolean to use email???
Hmmph! There’s no chance McCain is going to take a letter written using on of them fancy moveable typeface machines seriously.
You’ve gotta speak to the man using a method he understands, like quill, ink and papyrus or, better yet, clay tablet and stylus.
John McCain: “Where do the punch cards go?”
Dear God,
Please let Senator McCain become more computer literate so he can start a blog, like Stokes’ publisher suggested. His old man rants need to be read and re-read by every American with even the slightest sense of humor. In these tough economic times that you’ve wisely given us, the gift of McCain’s wit and wisdom as distributed to readers everywhere through the internet might just be enough to give us the hope that laughter may still exist in this dismal world.
Kisses,
C.
Press any key to start.
Where’s the “Any” key?
Bet if they mentioned it’s the easiest way to scout for wife #3, McCain would be all over the google entering “heiress replacement wife blonde drug free no fat chicks.”
I didn’t know they still printed manuals for the TRS-80…
Delicious: Tab? Mmmmmm, he is kind of thirsty.
i hate the term computer illiterate.
The term illiterate should not translate to everything you do not have skill in. If a monitor gives you a headache you shouldn’t say you’re ‘monitor lactose intolerant’
Rove says he’s lost the use of his hands, and can’t use a keyboard and mouse. at his age, he probably has trouble reading a screen, too. I bet he has 10 interns doing nothing but surfing, printing and binding web pages for him.
Our favorite line: “Mr. McCain mentioned that he liked reading Politico.com, so he is certainly no novice.”
Well that’s only after teh cunt prints it out on the dot matrix for him.
Well Politico is certainly boring. While I generally like parts of Kos, it got to be the most user-unfriendly site after Walnuts site. But AOL won’t let me access Hardcore porn and Wonkette so I have no idea what that is
You should see how much paper they use up making flip books of internet porn movies
Gopherit v2.0: If he’s lost the use of his hands, I’m sure there’s something else they’re doing for him, too.
Gopherit v2.0: And it’s tough because they have to find just the right kind of parchment paper and quills for him. I’m imagining these interns locked in a basement wearing monks’ robes and transcribing all this stuff–but you should see Politico in illuminated text, just beautiful.
Somebody just tell him there is porn online. Direct him to hottrollops.com. That should be all the motivation he needs.
Psssh, has Ron Paul won the nomination he’d be reading Politico on Slackware Linux, from the command line.
Y’all better hope WALNUTS! doesn’t get around to reading Wonkette.
Senator McCain already has 30 MySpace friend requests from various hookers all over the country, so he’s certainly no novice.
Senator McCain’s inbox is already full of penile enlargement spam, so he’s certainly no novice.
Senator McCain plays Minesweeper on the intermediate level, so he’s certainly no novice.
Too bad John McCain’s hands are so badly damaged from torture that he cannot use a computer keyboard. This is then equivalent of asking a paraplegic man to stand up. Oh, wait, Joe Bide has already done that…
Reefpilot: I think you mean “how he got online with the AOL.”
Didn’t his airplane have a computer in it? Probably he was one of those sub-genius pilots who used to complain “my radar doesn’t work,” then I’d go look and it wasn’t turned on.