WHAT HAS BEEN SEEN CANNOT BE UNSEEN  9:33 am September 15, 2008

Scary McCain Photos Will Scare You

by Sara K. Smith

It's the hot Halloween costume this year!Jill Greenberg is that photographer who takes pictures of monkeys and crying babies all the time, which was why she seemed like a natural fit for John McCain’s Atlantic cover. But it turns out she is a big fat libtard, so she tricked John McCain into various unflattering positions during his photo shoot — including making him sit under the head of a pooping monkey. Ha ha we kid, she accomplished that feat with Photoshop, which was still not up to the task of making John McCain look like a human in his “flattering” cover photo. Anyway click here (note: banner ads above some images are for NSFW type sites) for more outtakes that are making the people who hired her for this shoot all kinds of mad. Photo via Imagebam. [New York Post]

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ManchuCandidate September 15, 2008 at 9:39 am

Did she take this photo while John was strapped to a rocket sled?

I’m guessing 8Gs of acceleration on his face.

mattbolt September 15, 2008 at 9:40 am

Hey thanks for the porn ads on whatever image hosting site that was

BRB getting fired

Larry Fine September 15, 2008 at 9:41 am

yo, turkey neck bastard

sanantonerose September 15, 2008 at 9:41 am


meemers September 15, 2008 at 9:41 am

I think the monkey was a metaphor. It represents the love between George and John!

Yaybuls September 15, 2008 at 9:41 am

Look at the sea. What does it care about offences? (Replace “sea” with “C” and you understand my thoughts.)

Larry Fine September 15, 2008 at 9:42 am

looks like a srcotum under his chin

Godless Liberal September 15, 2008 at 9:43 am


I need alcohol before looking at that.

The Gordo September 15, 2008 at 9:43 am

I’m no fan of McCain, but this was just shitty and unprofessional.

Godless Liberal September 15, 2008 at 9:45 am

Actually, that “warmonger” shot really captured his inner essence.

mr.november September 15, 2008 at 9:45 am

Liberal Cannibals are salivating over their future thanksgiving dinner.

fuzznuts September 15, 2008 at 9:45 am

How many North Vietnam guards had to poke him in his left eye
for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS to make him squint like that?

Just askin……

pondscum September 15, 2008 at 9:48 am

Jeebus, his team is all kinds of fail. They REALLY have no idea how to vet ANYONE!

Sara K. Smith September 15, 2008 at 9:50 am

[re=95906]mattbolt[/re]: Yoiks sorry about that Matt! Post has been updated with a warning.

EnBuenOra September 15, 2008 at 9:50 am

This almost makes up for the Michell-Obama-As-Angela-David-Assata-Shakur cover.

shoeho September 15, 2008 at 9:51 am

Jeebus, no wonder Cindy takes viacodin.

capitol hillbilly September 15, 2008 at 9:55 am

times like this call for a president with two nutsacks …

Godless Liberal September 15, 2008 at 9:55 am

[re=95926]Sara K. Smith[/re]: Oh, look who had her name legally changed to “Editor” over here.

Borat September 15, 2008 at 10:02 am

But america knows Walnut’s face. We want an exclusive on those asscheeks. Are there walnuts there too?

columnv September 15, 2008 at 10:06 am

One of those replaced my Obama Half Breed Muslin background

Serolf Divad September 15, 2008 at 10:07 am

You guys do know that the more malevolent McCain looks, the more the bitters will love him, right?

TGY September 15, 2008 at 10:07 am

I welcome our new Baron Blood look-alike overlord and look forward to living in the Democracy of the Misshapen.

Servo September 15, 2008 at 10:10 am

Cheeto Jeebus! Did they have to rub his face with saddle soap? He looks like a shiny pleather chair.

ZippyD September 15, 2008 at 10:14 am

Good news – no appetite suppressant required today!

* side effects may include (but are not limited to): violent wretching, eye bleeding, stroke, kidney failure, night terrors, and economic meltdown.

4tehlulz September 15, 2008 at 10:17 am

[re=95913]Larry Fine[/re]: You know, for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, he was not able to have a pair hanging from his head.

cheeto_christ September 15, 2008 at 10:17 am

I seem to remember seeing a postage stamp from asshatistan with this likeness on it?

servo you brilliant

aabbbiee September 15, 2008 at 10:19 am

They used the normal version of this for the cover of Atlantic this month. Hilariously, my mother thought it was one of the best pictures she’d seen of McCain. “He has color in his face,” she said. She’s no McCain fan, btw.

phuckpolitics September 15, 2008 at 10:20 am

My eyes…they burn….

AxmxZ September 15, 2008 at 10:26 am

I for one welcome our new Elephant Man overlords.

Kaylub September 15, 2008 at 10:26 am

Why doesnt McCain just grow a big, bush beard? Problem solved! And it will be snowy white, reminding voters of that lovable Santa Claus, or that cartoon gnome, or a wizard of some sort, who will solve the nations problems through magic.

ProgHead777 September 15, 2008 at 10:34 am

He looks strained. This is John a few seconds before his o-face. Yeah, when Cindy sees this face hovering over her she thinks, “Oh thank god! It’s almost over!”

You’re welcome. And good luck cleaning your breakfast out of your keyboard.

Gopherit v2.0 September 15, 2008 at 10:40 am

[re=95956]Servo[/re]: Crisco.

Texan Bulldoggette September 15, 2008 at 10:45 am

God, wonder what Annie Leibowitz would have done to him. Made him & Cindy pose nude? Photoshopped Suri Cruise in with him? Makes you think they vetted the photographer about the same way they vetted Mother Sarah.

Servo September 15, 2008 at 10:49 am

[re=95981]Gopherit v2.0[/re]:
It can’t be Crisco because he would look like a 6 month old fly strip from a Florida home.

NoWireHangers September 15, 2008 at 10:50 am

Well, someone in the party had to fight dirty. Bang up job, Jill. I feel a leetle bit bad that you tricked grandpa, but if you could do it so easily, surely the terrorists could too. One day it’s bad lighting, the next day, there’s an IED in his Depends.

wilmawonker September 15, 2008 at 10:55 am

[re=95915]The Gordo[/re]: agreed. immature.

freppish September 15, 2008 at 11:06 am

ok i cant sleep ever again, i will see that face holding a knife and chasing me in ever dream ever, thanks wonkette

facehead September 15, 2008 at 11:07 am

Such a muscular face.

TGY September 15, 2008 at 11:13 am

[re=96019]facehead[/re]: As a youth, he flew planes with his face and not with the seat of his pants as is rumored.

1337b07 September 15, 2008 at 11:14 am

Well with a face like that those hippy communist terrorist neo nazi liberals in Iran, Russia,France,China.Burma.Zimbabwe,France,San Francisco(mostly the castro area) will have to stop their multi axis of terror and evil and become good peaceful citizens of the world!

Sussemilch September 15, 2008 at 11:16 am

[re=96009]wilmawonker[/re]: I’ll stop cheering for evil things to happen to Republicans when the New Orleans dead can rise from their watery graves and do it themselves.

Johnny Zhivago September 15, 2008 at 11:16 am

Having spent a lot of time around the corporate PR world, it’s hard to understand how even the most inexperienced flack would allow a single photo to be taken without adding their two cents. Does McCain go to photo sessions alone???

It’s inconceivable how the (actual) photos were taken.

The photoshops are just plain stupid and do nothing but feed Bill-O and Hannity…

1337b07 September 15, 2008 at 11:22 am

[re=96029]Sussemilch[/re]: The republicans will of found a way to raise the dead and then enslave them so that they can be deployed to various parts of the world to bring freedom and eat brains. So the logical thing to do is to raise an army of undead before they figure out how to do it.

freppish September 15, 2008 at 11:24 am

[re=96030]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: well fox does photoshops all the time so screw them

SayItWithWookies September 15, 2008 at 11:24 am

Christ on a biscuit — if I get random heebies today I’ll know where they’re coming from.
John McCain 2008: Hell is full — let’s make our own.

KittyKatMan September 15, 2008 at 11:38 am

oooooh leathery

obfuscator September 15, 2008 at 11:39 am

He looks like a Dick Tracy villain. “The Jowl”.

SayItWithWookies September 15, 2008 at 11:41 am

He looks like he should be sitting on a lily pad catching flies.

Sussemilch September 15, 2008 at 11:58 am

[re=96054]obfuscator[/re]: r@fl

teebob2000 September 15, 2008 at 11:59 am

Wonder if they include in the story the photo of McCain devouring little tiny defenseless Down baby Trig at a recent photo op…

teebob2000 September 15, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Bigbruther September 15, 2008 at 12:12 pm

No wonder he was shot down over North Vietnam, he was flying 800 mph with the canopy open. Yee-haw this is fun! Oh fuck, my face melted!

hej September 15, 2008 at 12:14 pm


edgydrifter September 15, 2008 at 12:27 pm

So we’re going to have an angry leather muppet for president? Super-dee-duper!

Viva la Cynthia September 15, 2008 at 12:57 pm

Good god, this is like an ad for never getting old. If this is what people look like when they reach their 70′s, then I advocate euthanasia for everyone at the age of 69.

TGY September 15, 2008 at 1:01 pm

And is this a pic of WALNUTS! *after* Palin threw him under a bus?

TGY September 15, 2008 at 1:04 pm

Or perhaps pressed his face up against a scanner screen? That would explain it.

Miller September 15, 2008 at 1:26 pm

Who angrily punched that pile of clay…..oh dear God that’s his face.


Johnny Zhivago September 15, 2008 at 1:32 pm

[re=96041]freppish[/re]: Good point! I’m surprised they don’t completely substitute a photo of him from 20 years ago!

ExileOC September 15, 2008 at 2:20 pm

Proof his campaign uses all the makeup in the world to make him look human….

PoliTacky September 15, 2008 at 2:54 pm

In the immortal words of our illustrious President: “… fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.”

Personally, I think Greenberg’s portrait captures the dichotomous essence of WALNUTS!: There’s the scary old man on the porch, shaking his cane at passing schoolchildren warning them to stay off his lawn, and also the flip side: the scary old man with his finger on the nuclear button, shaking his flaccid penis at the American public, warning them to stay the course. A fascinating portrait that exemplifies WALNUTS! many complicated moods, not to mention his deep wrinkles, craters and crevasses, which remind all good Americans of the Grand Canyon, a famous American hole.

limama56 September 15, 2008 at 3:39 pm


Hey if it looks like a monkey and walks like a monkey…

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