- Hurricane Ike knocked out power to millions of homes and businesses in Texas and Louisiana but didn’t kill a lot of people. [Washington Post]
- Pakistanis are getting angrier about the US’ unauthorized border crossings, and last night Pakistani troops fired into the air to keep troops from entering Waziristan. [BBC]
- Pretty much every big bank in America is failing. Lehman Brothers announced it will go into bankruptcy, while Merrill Lynch will sell itself to Bank of America. [New York Times]
- And now insurer AIG is looking shaky. [Wall Street Journal]
- Barack Obama has started talking more about the economy and “bread and butter” issues on the stump, and issued a statement today blaming Republicans’ economic philosophies for the current financial shitstorm we’re enduring [Politico, AP]
- The season premiere of Saturday Night Live, featuring Tina Fey as America’s sweetheart Sarah Palin, got its highest ratings since 2001. [Reuters/Hollywood Reporter]
DAILY BRIEFING 8:38 am September 15, 2008
I’m Feeling Okay This Morning
Hola wonkerados.
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{ 59 comments }
I, for one, welcome our new Hobo Overlords.
People laughed when I said the new world currency would be bits of string. They laughed and they laughed as I kept collecting bits of string while telling them that the thing they call money will be useless.
Well, who’s laughing now bitches? I’m the world’s richest man now. Suck it, Bill Gates!
TONIGHT I’M GONNA PARTY LIKE IT’S 1929!
I knew Tina Fey would do a wonderful job as Sarah Palin, but she was so convincing that she could easily stand in for Palin and nobody would know the difference.
BTW, Barry’s right. If I were him, I’d plaster John McCain’s dear friend Phil Gramm’s face on TV ads all over the place. Saying that he was the one who opened the Pandora’s box that just finally exploded in a bad way yesterday.
It’s not even a lie, but a simple statement of fact.
“The only change that John McCain wants to give you is the change from his pocket.”
Whew, you’re back. So I have this question about Waziristan. I mean, is it really a country? The name sounds so made up. But if people are invading it . . .
Can I just be the one to point out how ludicrous it is of Obama to blame the financial and credit crisis on Republicans? I mean it’s not like they’ve been running the country for the past 8 years or anything. It’s not like Republican presidents have appointed every the Fed chairmen since 1987. It’s not like Alan Greenspan, one of the guys widely seen as largely responsible for pumping up the housing market is a disciple of Ayn Rand or anything. It’s not like the Republicans have gone around gutting financial regulations let and right, thus setting us up for something like this. It’s not like the Republican party had any advanced warning that Wall Street and Corporate America were cooking the books and taking advantage of every accounting regulation loophole they could find to manufacture illusory profits where none existed. I mean, seriously, look at Enron and WorldCom, Tyco, Global Crossing, Andersen Consulting and Adlephia. These companies are just as strong… or even stronger now than when Bush took office. Seriously, stop focusing only on the bad.
[re=95870]InKnockYouUs[/re]: I think Sean Connery and Michael Caine wind up ruling Waziristan in “The Man Who Would Be King.”
[re=95866]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I laugh at your bits of string. I’ve been saving tin cans for years. When President Palin put’s us once again on the Tin Standard, I’m going to be able to buy and sell you.
[re=95872]Serolf Divad[/re]: Yeah and look what happened to them.
Now I wish Dana Carvey would come back to SNL as John McCain.
[re=95873]Cape Clod[/re]: Your tin cans will be as worthless as dollars six months later when the economy collapses, government disintegrates and we are plunged headfirst into a prehistoric agrarian society. There, pieces of animal dung will be the new currency, and my family shall be the new Rockefellers. With shit.
[re=95866]ManchuCandidate[/re]: In a land with string money, the guy with the matches is king.
Remember that.
[re=95876]Godless Liberal[/re]: But I will have all the shovels! Controlling the currency doesn’t matter if you don’t control the means of distribution.
[re=95871]Serolf Divad[/re]: If the dead come back to life, now that’s definitely Obama’s fault.
[re=95866]ManchuCandidate[/re]: The center of economic life in the U.S. is shifting to Darwin, MN, where it will evolve into a dinosaur.
http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/2128
It’s a beautiful crisp autumn morning and I’ve got a hankerin’ to send some of my tax dollars to bail out some captains of the banking industry! We could have achieved this faster if only my advice to de-regulate everything even faster had been heeded! I blame the Gehz.
The brave Pakistani soldiers fired into the air so that the advancing troops wouldn’t shoot back.
[re=95871]Serolf Divad[/re]:
Thanks for the spike in blood pressure. I worked for Tyco. *shudder* Kozlowski should’ve been publicly disemboweled and fed to the seagulls at Tyco’s Bermuda “headquarters”.
Time to stock up on canned goods and ammunition.
[re=95873]Cape Clod[/re], [re=95866]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I’m thinking of starting a new phone company with you guys.
[re=95876]Godless Liberal[/re]: You’re both wrong. Investing in string and tin cans is just pre-911 thinking. I’ve got all my money in Beanie babies.
[re=95871]Serolf Divad[/re]: You make it sound like Republicans are responsible for something. I’m older than dirt, and I’ve yet to see a Republican take responsibility for anything, other than outlandish claims of defeating the USSR and similar bullshit.
Republicans are responsible for:
historic national debt and deficit
Iraq war
Afghan war
crumbling infrastructure
educational shambles
spying on US citizens
bloated corporate profits via “deregulation”
SCOTUS that resembles Star Chamber
Yet I don’t see a Republican willing to claim “responsibility” for any of those. Instead, Republicans are running on the vow to “change” all of the above. Hmmmm.
The good news for us all is that even Ayn Rand groupies like Greenspan recognize McCain’s tax policies are insane:
http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalpunch/2008/09/mccain-endorser.html
Funny thing is, Greenspan’s a McCain supporter, yet insists that Obama’s tax plans are better for the economy, the nation and the average citizen than his own candydate’s.
Funnier still, McCain thinks that Greenspan’s such a fuckin’ guru that he should be drafted to revise the US tax code, even if he’s no longer alive: “What we need to do is get ol’ Alan Greenspan — whether he’s alive or dead. You know, if he’s dead, we’ll put dark glasses on him and prop him up like they did at Weekend at Bernie’s.”
Can we arrange to have McCain debate tax policy with Greenspan?
M = W. Pass it on.
I was just fiddling with the NYT electoral map and even if Hopey wins Ohio & Penn which I think he might, he has to win Colorado, which seems possible AND ……. drumroll …… New Mexico!?!?!? WTF. How do I get a hold of some tin animal string dung at this late date?
The new currency shall be Hope, and Obama shall be our vast untapped wellspring. He shall be our ANWR Reserve of pure, unfiltered Hopetroleum. The price of a barrel of Hope will skyrocket as Wall Street continually underestimate the continually-replenishing hope reserves deep within this man’s soul.
[re=95887]Canuckledragger[/re]:
Ya forgot the War on Drugs. We aren’t even allowed to have any temporary escape from the Repubs reality.
[re=95886]dano[/re]: Good idea. Those beanies really know what they’re talkin’ about.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to take up Fado singing.
[re=95889]mattbolt[/re]: Yay. Where is the Hopemobile? I could use me some drive-by hope right now.
Oooh, did you hear Chertoff whining on the news this morning? Seems like Homeland Security had lots of water and MRE’s up in north Texas, but it took them more than a day after the end of the storm to start actually moving the stuff down to the coast. Chertoff seemed to think that this was the time to start casting blame for these kinds of “failures”.
[re=95889]mattbolt[/re]: If that comes to pass then we will ALL be in favor of drilling. Awright.
Uh-OH! Seems like the Wonkeditors picked on the wrong guy to fuck with last week. Headline from the NYT:
“Banks Fear Next Move by Shorts”
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/15/business/15short.html?_r=1&src=linkedin&oref=slogin
How’re y’all gonna afford your elitist Wonketinis when this Wall Street titan closes down your piddling blogvertizing, huh? Well? Huh?
Prepare to be ass-fucked, Wonkette!
I wonder if people were resorting to this kind of grim humor circa October 1929? I mean, comedy was a less-advanced art at the time (compared to, say, the Opus that is the modern blog comment section) but I’m wondering if newspaper columnists were making witty limericks with comical misspellings about their impending financial collapse and descent into a decade of misery. Or, y’know, if they just had common sense back then and did an Olympic-worthy 3 1/2-somersault twist off the top story of their office buildings.
Hey Sara, quit doling out that bad-economy line.
Just watching CNN.
The bell just rang on Wall St. -85 already!
[re=95894]Terry[/re]: If they could just find an administrator who was an expert on selling ads in horse magazines they could clear everything up right away.
I feed dung producing animals from tin cans and then turn those animals into jerky on a string. Apparently I’m set. Jerky, anyone?
Aw darn, that thur economy dun gotten so bad, tha repo men had ta come n’ repossess ma truck nutz! Now how’ll folks know that ma truck’s a dude?
[re=95899]ManchuCandidate[/re]: NYC fire department is now holding nets stretched out on Wall Street for any investors that think they would be better off with Jesus.
Godless:
“…when the economy collapses, government disintegrates and we are plunged headfirst into a prehistoric agrarian society. There, pieces of animal dung will be the new currency, and my family shall be the new Rockefellers. With shit.”
How will we know that anything has changed?
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m not exactly jazzed with the fact that MY MOTHERFUCKING MONEY is going to to a bunch of asshat CEO’s whom I wouldn’t hire to flip burgers at Miccy D’s. This is corporate welfare. I have to dig in my couch for gas money and these assholes fuck up royally and they get golden parachutes. Free market my ass. It’s free for all the rich crackers on Wall Street. It doesn’t matter how bad you fuck up, because the Fed will bail your ass out anyway. Hey Paulson, I requested a 40 billion dollar loan from you weeks ago to start a drug ring and I have yet to hear back from you. I’m waiting you pig fucker.
[re=95871]Serolf Divad[/re]: Haven’t you heard? Greed is good.
[re=95892]WadISay[/re]: and sniffing glue! Though, come to think of it, a fado place in Lisbon might not be a bad spot to hide from our Repug overlords.
[re=95904]Larry Fine[/re]: Godless NY bluestaters do not believe in jeebus. At least not the right jeebus.
[re=95916]Hunter Gathers[/re]: But if you didn’t pay them so much, how would you get the wonderful management team that runs the company? They are just paying competitive wages for the “quality” managers they need. (Stock prices fell 70%) No sh*t, the turds who run the company my DH works for actually said that while trying to get the employees (unionized) to take a pay cut.
I bought a small savings and loan on the way to work this morning. But after the market opened the price went down. I just traded it for a Mocha Latte Grande at Starbucks.
[re=95925]shoeho[/re]: My dog would be a better manager than these shitheads. And the only payment she needs are milk bones and belly rubs. But then again, my boss at Kroger gets paid 60k to walk around with his coffee mug and shit-eating grin all day. I have yet to figure out what the hell he does all day other than flirt with the cashiers. Nothing worse than watching a fat man try to pick 16 year olds.
It’s a strange world. Some people get rich and others eat shit and die.
[re=95871]Serolf Divad[/re]: The economy is fundamentally sound… John McCain told me so. You libtards are just whiners like Phil Gramm said.
Plastics?
[re=95873]Cape Clod[/re]: You know there’s no tin in cans anymore, right?
[re=95889]mattbolt[/re]: I’m sure you’re right, Hope will become the new medium of exchange. Of course, we must ensure that we stick with domestic hope, and avoid the always crappy mexican bootleg hope, which is typically some disguised form of “wishful thinking.” In short, Foreign hope, whether it be lead laden Chinese hope, or the Arabic Cartel hope, must be avoided.
Indubitably, our addiction to natural hope will destroy us, turning us into a nation of slobbering hope-heads, wandering aimlessly in the streets begging for our next fix. So unless we can come of with alternative forms of hope (e.g. solar-powered sex dolls), we must needs win the war on hope.
VOTE MCCAIN/PALIN, 2008!!!! The Anti-Hope Choice!
[re=95945]grendel[/re]: I agree. I decided Phil Gramm was right, so this morning I quit whining and bought a new 3500 sq-ft home with $0 down by singing up for a 60-year mortgage variable APR-mortgage. I plan on going to Rent-A-Center tonight to get furniture and a few flat screen TVs, right after I hit the payday advance place on the corner and swing by the dealership to take care of the 72-mo lease I just got for a 2007 Tahoe.
QUIT WHINING, AMERICA, KEEP SPENDING! KEEP R COUNTRY STRONG!
WOOOOOO WAR WITH PAKISTAN its not Russia, but if i cant kill commies, i might as well kill somebody. AMERICA FUCK YEAH!
of course ike got all the publicity. the worst train wreck near la got very little. messin’ up the hair of media people in texas requires fed aid for combs.
[re=95866]ManchuCandidate[/re]: i too am regarded as a genius because i own no stocks. my grandfather lost all his money in ’29 ($7.45) and i learned the lesson. he also said that radio was just a toy and baldness is caused by wetting your hair before combing.
[re=95886]dano[/re]: Beanie Babies, String.
The true post-911 investor is all 100% in Duct Tape & Gas Masks.
BTW, I think those Paultards are right – have you seen the price of Gold lately?
[re=96097]Borat[/re]:
Metals have collapsed after their big 3 year run. Gold might be high now, but that’s only because the ME and Asians have no where left to throw their money at.
I wonder if all the dolts who didn’t evacuate Galveston, and are now being “rescued,” will vote for some more tax cuts in November. ‘Cuz the choppers basket-hauling those fuckers to safety aren’t made of Hope and they don’t run on baby-tears.
[re=95868]Cape Clod[/re]: You mean that bitch that gave the speech at the convention wasn’t Tina Fey? Wow, she might be as funny as Ms. Fey.
Does this mean I don’t have to pay my credit card bills?
Hey, they say that the Great Depression made the Greatest Generation tough.
This is just Shrub’s way of toughening us up.
Soon we will be able to work all day on one match box of freedom fries.
One tip though, don’t sleep under the bridges. They are falling down.
[re=95882]donner_froh[/re]: To be fair, Pakistanis fire into the air over everything.
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