About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell


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  • shortsshortsshorts

    No Sillies! That’s Eddie Perez!

  • sanantonerose

    It’s a hippogator.

  • WadISay

    Officials said the reservoir does not hold drinking water, so there is no cause for fear of contamination.

    Although you might want to think twice about whether you want your kid swimming with a cross between a snakehead carp and a diplodocous.

  • Hunter Gathers

    Nessie? Is that you? How dare you hang out with Joe Lieberman! He’ll sell you out for a turkey sandwich! Or a cabinet post.

  • grendel

    [re=94855]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: The catcher, formerly of the Atlanta Braves?

  • TGY

    Pile of floating shit, totally.

  • The Lucky Republican

    Fuck Joe Lieberman!! Now, what’s this thread about?

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=94881]grendel[/re]: The hella corrupt ex-mayor of Hartford. A little bit of CT history for everyone, as I used to live in the place where you best not fuck with your mob-boss garbage man.

  • Miller

    If Joe Lieberman locks his jaws on you he’ll try and go into what animal biologists call a ‘death roll’, in an attempt to snap your neck or separate the head from the shoulders. Then he will feed until he has enough energy to go stump for John McCain.


  • Special Agent Jack Mehoff

    This Just In: It no longer matters what it was. Sarah Palin has just shot and field dressed it.

  • Johnny Zhivago

    Looks like a snapping turtle with a laser beam attached to its head.

  • edgydrifter


  • Hunter Gathers

    [re=94924]Special Agent Jack Mehoff[/re]: The question is: Nessie Stew or Nessie Burgers?

  • subrosa

    [re=94905]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Wasn’t the company Dainty Rubbish Service? Or am I just wishing it was so I can post about a garbage company that calls itself “Dainty”?

  • graceless

    Anybody remember, few years back, when a torso floated up on Statin Island? Other parts of the guy ended up in other parts of the city, and the police DIDN’T put the pieces together. Different jurisdictions, therefore they didn’t call each other. So what that it was all the same city though.

  • S.Luggo

    Joe or not Joe? There is only one way to solve this perplexing mystery: http://www.nzetc.org/etexts/WH2Navy/WH2Nav33a.jpg

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Looks like a sea lion carcass that has been attacked by some smallish sharks.

    Although Joe Lieberman attacked by smallish sharks would be funnier.

  • Gopherit v2.0

    I have nothing to say. That thing creeps the hell out of me.

    Nice that the best the state guy can say i, “Don’t worry, it’s not in your drinking water.”

  • sezme

    I apologize. This kind of “sighting” happens every time I go skinnydipping.

  • Oscar Folsom Cleveland

    I did not know that Joe lived in Connecticut; I thought he had retired to one of McCranky’s Sedona out buildings after Frau Lieberwoman kicked him out for being too independent in bed.

    But like Chairman Mao and his famous swim in the Yangtze River – remember that time he reversed the current with his disabling kung fu backstroke? – Jumpin’ Josiah Lieberwurst does a pretty good uphill butterfly on the Connecticut River. What an amazing athlete.

    According to my high school geography textbook, the Connecticut flows directly into the effluent discharge of Joe’s summertime home, Plum Island, no? Methinks he’s been drinking the water there.


  • facehead

    This is what Alaskans call a “poo-berg” and from the engorged anus we know it is ready to mate.

  • Voyou Charmant

    How soon everyone forgets that this man is a virgin. CUT HIM SOME SLACK!!!!

  • S.Luggo

    [re=95077]Oscar Folsom Cleveland[/re]: “Chairman Mao and his famous swim in the Yangtze River”.
    Mao swam surrounded by many followers, who kept feeding him Kung Po Puffed Rice to mantain his bouyancy.
    After 2008, if Joe swims, he swims alone unless he manages to strap Harry Reid and Mitch McCommell to his withered person.
    Exception: But if things go south, Joe can still paddle with his aquatic, lifelong friend and personal advisror:
    I say this with love.

  • SayItWithWookies

    What’s the glowing red thing? Is it trying to fool us? Because y’know — you can put lipstick on a lake monster, but it’s still gonna be a lake monster.

  • ProgHead777

    Turns out Joe Lieberman has a snorkel penis too, eh? Naturally it’s slimy and much, much smaller (stubby) than Barry’s shiny, jet-black mandingus.

    And uncircumcised too! Scandalous!

  • Sabre_Justice

    I miss Steve Irwin.