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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

Hola wonkerados.

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200 comments

  1. TGY

    Goddammit, this makes me mad! GET A BRAIN, MORAN!

    Who knew that Barry was so weavable into light dresses? On the other hand, I suppose he’s now a man of the cloth.

  2. superfecta

    What about Hessians? I suppose we don’t really use hessian as a term for burlap in this country, but if we’re going to fear textiles, we might as well add them to the list. They’ve attacked us before, after all.

  3. bhosp

    See this is actually so stupid that it automatically makes me think its a joke. Nothing about the context makes me go, “ah, this is satire” (unlike certain notable magazine covers) but there’s just something in my head that refuses to believe that anyone is actually this stupid.

  4. Squiggyfm

    Obama is “a type of finely-woven cotton fabric, introduced to Europe from the Middle East in the 17th century”? (thanks to McCain for wikipedia).

  5. apocalypsethen

    people are so, so stupid. and this is why mccain–who head-to-head was losing to obama–is suddenly a popular choice because he picked a woman with no qualifications to be his running mate.

  6. Dave J.

    The sign actually reads:

    “Obama half: breed muslin!”

    What this guy is trying to communicate is that the Obama half of the nation needs to develop improved muslin production facilities for the coming higher temperatures brought about by global warming. Duh.

  7. edgydrifter

    No, Lacasse, rest easy and stay your vengeful club. Ain’t nobody going to touch that there sign of yours–in fact, I think it should be preserved in the Smithsonian for all eternity.

  8. The Maverick formerly known as KevoTron

    Obama is a half-breed, “finely woven fabric”??? This changes everything.

    [re=94619]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Don’t you touch Lacasse! I demand more signs from this man pronto.

    I read your little blurb on Facebook about judging others based on poor grammar. When judging others- pause and ask yourself: Is our children learning?

  9. UnindictedCo-conspirator

    The very nexus of comedy and tragedy, right there on Mr. Lacasse’s lawn.

    If Obama turns out to be a rayon blend, I am going to be very pissed off. Tell us the truth, Barry.

  10. PioBaroja

    Apparently the other half is pure funk. Also, what kind of club? If I touch the sign do I get in the VIP?

  11. ZippyD

    [re=94647]Dave J.[/re]: Or a Ghandiesque plea to take up our own weaving and thereby liberate ourselves from the oh-pressers?

  12. Voyou Charmant

    I finally contributed. but why wasn’t I credited as Wonkette’s official “signs made by angry old racist illiterate coot’s in Florida operative”?

    :(

  13. JadedDIssonance

    The Audacity of Dope.

    CSI tells me that the mix of capital and lowercase letters combined with an obvious deeply pressured hand means that the person who wrote this is a schizo ex-con.

  14. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Wait, his name is “Obama”? I thought it was “Osama.”

    Still, you have to give him some credit. Unlike a McCain ad, there is some truth here.

  15. Servo

    [re=94655]sweetits[/re]:
    Probably next door to the guy who shot the sky after Michelle’s speech at the DNC.

  16. Texan Bulldoggette

    I’m concerned about Andy. In the picture it looks like he hammered the nail in the wrong place (to the left of the ‘O’) removed the nail & hammered it into the right place (into the pole). Now how do you hammer the nail in the wrong place on a sign like this?? Or maybe he had used this board for target practice prior to writing his masterpiece on it. What a dingleberry.

  17. Voyou Charmant

    [re=94655]sweetits[/re]: He lives about 15 minutes away from me. A coworker of mine lives directly across the street from him.

    I really do plan just randomly sneak up, on my tip toes, while someone plucks violin strings, and touch his sign. Then when he comes after me with the club we’ll blast yakety sax while he chases me around the trailer park.

  18. JadedDIssonance

    What this guy is really saying is that Barry has been skimping on the material for his new suits. Obvs part of the Garment & Tailors Lobby.

    Saving his Change(tm) for something else?

  19. run_said_ran

    I swear to the Lord
    I still can’t see
    Why Democracy means
    Everybody but me.
    ~Langston Hughes, The Black Man Speaks

  20. Voyou Charmant

    [re=94684]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Just think about how bad the sign would look if the nails were misaligned!

  21. Dientes

    Dear Walnuts Campaign People,

    Please accept these free Sharpies and white painted planks to hand out at all your rallies. Encouraging your supporters to make his or her own personalized campaign sign is a great way to promote your progressive agenda from the grass-roots level. We strongly suggest you prioritize distribution of these supplies to people with as little education as possible (to discourage elitism).

    Yours truly,

    Dientes

  22. EnBuenOra

    Forgetting the spelling error, would the guy’s complaint that Obama’s just not a full-breed Muslim ?

  23. grendel

    [re=94635]bhosp[/re]: Nope. Not satire, that’s just Florida.

    We need to just saw it off right at the border and let it drift free… maybe it will run into Cuba and they’ll both sink.

  24. sweetits

    [re=94686]Voyou Charmant[/re]: let me know if you want back up, or help teaching him to spell. I wonder how many people will slowly drive up and down his block playing barry’s speeches loudly, just to piss him off?

  25. user-of-owls

    Where do you suppose the Library of Congress is going to file this gem? Campaign literature? Folk art? Evidence refuting Darwinism?

  26. JadedDIssonance

    [re=94686]Voyou Charmant[/re]: I’ve got that song playing nonstop in my head now. I see it all old-timey and full of Chaplainisms.

  27. american mutt

    Being reminded of the fact that tons of people in this nation hate me because of whatever the hell, doesn’t bode well for my already lacking esteem.

    half breed?

    ugh.

    oh yeah, something snarky to say. um, I want to wipe my tears in muslin.

  28. Voyou Charmant

    [re=94706]sweetits[/re]: It would really solidify the Benny Hill imagery I’m hoping for if there were several of us running away from him in a cluster. We’ll need some girls in Bikinis too.

    I’m thinking people should periodically add their own signs.

  29. jodyleek

    [re=94635]bhosp[/re]: No one is that stupid? Really? We have a two
    term prez who says “Nuculer” and a VP candidate who does the same…
    Yes, I’m afraid there are people who are just that stupid.

  30. rev_matt_y

    [re=94634]superfecta[/re]: Actually the Hessian mercenaries were hired by Washington to fight on the side of the Colonists. I now return you to your regularly scheduled Friday afternoon entertainment.

  31. amorphous

    “When you use words in that nature, people tend to discount anything you have to say,” said Steve Rice. “If you’re going to attract attention, at least make sure your spelling is right.”

    Tru.

  32. Sean O

    I can’t wait until McCain is elected and wankers like this get what they deserve.

    that’s all, no penis jokes this time. Maybe in the next post.

  33. jodyleek

    [re=94726]Voyou Charmant[/re]: Love the Benny Hill imagery. Cindy Lou
    could certainly be the naughty nurse in this fantasy. Who is going
    to be the little bald guy Benny would rap on the head? Karl Rove?

  34. obfuscator

    Reminds me of the sign I saw in January: “A vote for a Democrat is a vote for Islamic terrorism”.

    It reflects poorly on me, but I can’t decide what pisses me off more, the sentiment or the spelling error. There is NO EXCUSE for misspelling “Muslim” since that fateful day in September. Never forget!!!1!!11!

  35. Hamster

    Why does he have a delicious sandwich waiting for whoever messes with the sign. …I hope there is cheddar on it, MMMMM.

  36. JadedDIssonance

    [re=94738]rev_matt_y[/re]: Actually, Hessians also fought for the British. Regardless, it’s clear that we can’t trust fabrics.

  37. superfecta

    [re=94760]JadedDIssonance[/re]: Very true, they fought on both sides, which must mean they are gay, which must mean they are into muslin…or something.

  38. Hamster

    I grew up in Central Florida, this guy is nothing special. If you stray from the interstate for even 5 minutes you will be surrounded by shitheads like this. I feel safer in downtown Baltimore than I did in Daytona or Orlando. …truly the limp dick of the US.

  39. Gopherit v2.0

    I, for one, respect his First Amendment Right to look like a toothless, racist douchebag.

    Shine on, you living and breathing advertisement to the horrors of incest.

  40. C-5

    [re=94748]Sean O[/re]: I agree. I was really on the Barry bandwagon for a while, but now that it’s clear the majority of our voting public is suffering from moderate to severe retardation, we might as well go out with a fiery bang.

  41. sati demise

    [re=94686]Voyou Charmant[/re]: Nothing that a well aimed paint ball gun could not fix.
    Really, you dont even have to go on his property, just aim and fire away!

    If you dont have access to a paint ball gun, then a accurate throw from a paint filled balloon would do in a pinch.
    I suggest someone with baseball pitching experience to be your point man.

  42. stew

    This is another reason the south should have been allowed to leave the country. Today it would be a third world nation full of fat, uneducated, redneck assholes begging for charitable grain shipments.

  43. sanantonerose

    [re=94704]JadedDIssonance[/re]: That art is pretty fabulous! Those silly Brits and their fashion trends.

  44. sanantonerose

    [re=94686]Voyou Charmant[/re]: I’ve got a violin! Just the imagery alone is killing meeee….aahahaa. With quick speed motion like Benny Hill.

  45. obfuscator

    [re=94787]magic titty[/re]: If I were canvassing this guy, I’d say, “So… would you say you’re ‘leaning Obama’, or still undecided… ? Perhaps hearing the senator’s position on LIHEAP subsidies would help you decide. Thanks, here’s some campaign lit… don’t forget to vote.”

  46. heronimule

    bhosp: You’ve obviously never been to Florida. As a resident I must take issue with your satire theory. Our lax taxes/laws, the anonymity provided a state where everyone is from somewhere else, and the year-round child-rape friendly sunshine ensure an electorate so stupid that they’ve turned the gubernatorial election into a best tan contest (see our failed VP hopeful and definitely not gay Governor Charlie Crist). We should be disenfranchised :(

  47. Iggy Plop

    This is what Merriam Webster.com says about the origins of “muslin”

    Etymology: French mousseline, from Italian mussolina, from Arabic mawṣilī of Mosul, from al-Mawṣil Mosul, Iraq
    Date: 1609

    From Iraq! See! Sure this Lacasse guy is crazy. Crazy like a fox, I say!

  48. 2druk2phluq

    Gots me some hi qualities drinkables in da trailer over dare. No nigras loud if ya don’ mine. Me an the missuz gon’ put on the talkin’ box later awn. We gots us one uh dem vee-cee-are-uhs so we kin put on some romance vidyuhs, lahk Debbie Loves Dallas (the missuz luvs dat one). Had us a gator fer lunch, but ‘twuz mosly the las uh da gator. Did I meuhntion I don’ like dat half breed nigra dem Hawlywood queers gots runnin’ fer preznit? Sum bitches. Day best keep day hands off my yawd sine. I woop um wit dis stick ifn’z day don’.

    Erlene! Erlene! Wher’s mah chaw?

  49. Krod

    People of Wonkette I am Krod you’re on the ground operative. I live next door to this man and his sign.

    I would like to say that the sign is also illuminated at night with the same light that used to illuminate his flag. Now the flag sits in darkness :(

  50. obfuscator

    Barry’s also the anti-christ, right? Does that mean he’s also in cahoots with our dark lord Satin? Hail Satin!

  51. wallythepug

    I would have guessed that Barry was Sunbrella because, unlike Walnuts!, he can go outside without developing a melanoma in less than 60 seconds.

  52. Weeping Jesus

    I wept when I saw this.

    Of course, I weep at little things.

    Like that Iraq-sponsored 9/11 thing, for instance.

  53. Weeping Jesus

    He was misquoted. He actually said, “I’ve got a schlub sitting over there,” as he pointed to his wife, proud owner of several molars.

  54. Voyou Charmant

    [re=94795]sati demise[/re]: I was just thinking a long pole and slowly push it over.

    [re=94816]sanantonerose[/re]: Absolutely! It needs to be done. Like sweetits said, someone needs to save America.

    I wonder if I could just talk him into chasing me for a few minutes. I’ll tell him it’s for the lulz, and so that he can show the other would-be ne’er-do-wells that he means business.

  55. CivicHoliday

    Michelle Obama and her half-blood prince sleep on luxurious 600 thread count silk muslin sheets. What’s so wrong about that?

  56. Anita Cocktail

    C’mon, where’s that guy who likes to change the lyrics to songs?
    “Half-breed,
    That’s all I eveh heard.
    Half-breed,
    How I learned to hate the word.”
    Da-dum-da-da-DUM-DUM-DUM!

  57. Schadenfried

    He’s pretty much lost his Caucasian Card Perk to say African-Americans are stupid. At least the one writing this post knows how to:

    a) Spell
    B) Tell the difference between a fabric and a religion.

  58. teebob2000

    [re=94697]EnBuenOra[/re]: You missed his point: Hussain’s full-on muslin, but chocolate/vanilla swirl in the racial department. Clearly too subtle for elites.

  59. ladymacbeth

    [re=94719]american mutt[/re]: buck up little soldier. you are loved by wonkette. we are better than that guy.

    actually i’m pretty sure we’re not the same species as that guy.

  60. ChatteringClass

    [re=94865]Krod[/re]: He’s obviously not a Real Patriot(TM) — they know you’re supposed to bring the flag in at night.

    [re=94868]obfuscator[/re]: Win (for the best new iteration of the original meme from [re=94628]RaptorAvatar[/re]).

  61. Krod

    [re=95097]ChatteringClass[/re]: As long as the flag is illuminated it can stay out at night.

    It’s no longer illuminated….Treason!

  62. Itsjustme

    [re=94655]sweetits[/re]: I KNEW that would be in Central Florida! Nothing has changed in 40 years in that area. Them blacks is tryin’ to take over! So glad I got out with all of my teeth.

  63. JadedDIssonance

    [re=94812]sanantonerose[/re]: [re=94658]Keram2[/re] was the original purveyor…I just tidied up the HTML. But yes, I see why Muslin is such a dangerous term.

  64. S.Luggo

    Fuckin’ half-breeds are destroying the Islamic race. You go, Andy Lacasse.

    Barefoot Bay, Florida, is populated mainly by crazy coot retirees. Lacasse appears to be a common Quebecker name. Conclusion: One more reason to oppose creation of AmeriMexanada. Country First!

  65. pickleandcake

    [re=94628]RaptorAvatar[/re]: ooh, good one!

    well there is that part in the old testament where they say that mixed cloth is wrong, so maybe he’s just really into leviticus? no? ok. this just cements my feeling that floridians should not be allowed to vote. THIS IS THE LAST STRAW DUDES. sorry to this dick whistle’s kindly wonkette commenter neighbors.

    oh wonkette. y’all’s prowess at commenting almost makes this nauseating ignorant hateful invective worth it.

  66. Mr. Sparkle

    If you want to know what it’s like to live down here in Red State World, look at the last essay at this link titled “Report From Florida”

    http://edge.org/discourse/vote_morality.html

    The guy nails it when he says, “They are not reasoning, nor do they want to try. They simply believe what they believe.” There is just no point in arguing with these people.

  67. Viva la Cynthia

    [re=95263]AutomaticPilot[/re]: Though, I wish he’d get his capitalization together: “HALF-BREEd”

  68. snig

    I remember a friend from lab telling me about how a racist neighbor asked him for proof (as a professional biology geek) that breeding between the races would lead the end of the species, but my friend patiently explained that outcrossing was actually much healthier and lead to a phenomenon called “hybrid vigour”, vs. breeding within the same population which could eventually lead to inbreeding. His neighbor was sad.

  69. AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=94719]american mutt[/re]: Please don’t ignore the fact that tons of us also want to SLEEP with you because of what you are. Yessirree. If we ain’t hatin’, we’re objectifyin’. Come to mama.

  70. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=95208]Mr. Sparkle[/re]: So what you’re saying is …? Oh, I get it, we could genocide these inbread cretims.

    Where do I sign up?

    [re=94942]Ilikepigeons[/re]: Would’ve been funnier if you’d said “that guy just gave me a fabulous decorating idea!”

    Because: Fabulous = Ghey = Funny. Especially in the South.

  71. JDHART

    Ok neighbors, it’s time to break out the ‘LACROSSE IS IMBRED IMBESUL’ signs in every single yard. That’ll shut his ass up.

    Stay classy, Florida.

  72. tocute2btrue

    I’m no FUCKING HALF >>>>>>>> Bread, I’m a full loaf of good American Liberal.
    So what, I cant help it if my slut mom let a stinking muslim pick her cherrys.
    I’m it, I will win,and you bastards are shit out of LUCK!

  73. BobnDougMackenzie

    Obviously intelligent design skipped over this dude. Hope he has plently of ammunition and cold cheap beers to keep him safe and sound.

  74. kutlass

    He’s a Christian!!!!!!!! What if he was his Father was Egyptian Coptic Orthodox Christian. The Muslim conquest of Egypt took place in AD 639. Despite the political upheaval, Egypt remained a mainly Christian land. However, the gradual conversions to Islam over the centuries changed Egypt from a Christian to a largely Muslim country by the end of the 12th century.
    Just because his name is Muslim or his Father came from Kenya does not mean he is one. I have alot friends who are Egyptian and They are 100% Christians. Are you going to blame this on Obama if the county his father happens to be from is Muslim!!!!!!!!! Look what happened to Egypt look what happened to Turkey!!!!!!!!All taken over along time ago!!!!!But there are still people who are God loving people that live in those lands!!!!!!!!!!!

  75. Ilikepigeons

    [re=95476]Lascauxcaveman[/re]:

    Thank you for the suggestion! It’s fabulous! It’s muslin that I would just dye for!

  76. tocute2btrue

    Looks as if I won’t telling anyone what to do, that DAM Joe Obiden challenged Palin on IQ issue, turns out that her IQ was four points higher than Joes’ and mine added togeather.
    There is no reason I can’t be sworn in on the Quran either it is the same thing as a Bible only written in Arabic.

  77. earthnutvt

    Thank you, my fellow literate Americans. I have never been so amused in my life as to read these comments. I sure hope this represents 51% of us. *biting nails*

  78. DangerousLiberal

    [re=94643]edgydrifter[/re]: Yeah, but the demi-bold. He thought that the bold would overwhelm the white (heh heh) space on the sign.

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