LAMERS  1:52 pm September 12, 2008

Andrew Giuliani Throws Apples At People

by Jim Newell

Over the summer we mentioned that Andrew Giuliani, the son of 9/11, was suing Duke University because “he was wrongfully kicked off the golf team,” because talent should have had nothing to do with whether he made the cut on a sports team. But maybe this stuff does: “Duke said in a court filing Wednesday that the 22-year-old Giuliani was properly suspended after throwing an apple in the face of another player, breaking a golf club during a tournament, injuring a teammate and becoming verbally abusive with a coach.” Andrew denies all of this, which brings us back to the original argument: that he sucks at golf. [Charlotte Observer via Above The Law]

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 39 comments }

Godless Liberal September 12, 2008 at 1:54 pm

So he’s a miserable, entitled excuse for a human being too?

Guess the apple doe-

Fuck it. I can’t.

Devil Anse September 12, 2008 at 1:54 pm

Are apples allowed at golf games?…

OuterBoroughPrincess September 12, 2008 at 1:54 pm

In that picture he’s one Bloomin’ Onion from turning into John Daly . . . which might improve his game.

columnv September 12, 2008 at 1:54 pm

He used his 9 iron on the 11th.

Strictly for the Tardcore September 12, 2008 at 1:55 pm

He’s still gotta be better at golf than his dad is at politics.

Oh, and uh, 9/11.

shortsshortsshorts September 12, 2008 at 1:55 pm

People just have no respect for technocrats anymore. The middle class is destroying this country.

AngryBlakGuy September 12, 2008 at 1:56 pm

…well he hates his father so he gets points for that.

Tawmn September 12, 2008 at 1:57 pm

You can put lipstick on a Giuliani and it becomes a Giuliani.

is that secksy?

TGY September 12, 2008 at 1:58 pm

An apple a day keeps 9/11 away.

cal September 12, 2008 at 1:59 pm

Applechucker.

Matt Cvetic September 12, 2008 at 2:04 pm

But the rescue workers were so brave.

Sussemilch September 12, 2008 at 2:04 pm

Remember Andy – Two wrongs don’t make a right but three rights make a left.

sleepy September 12, 2008 at 2:05 pm

did the apple have lipstick marks? get it? see, if it did, that’d've meant that maybe the apple was previously/partially consumed by a pig, a pig that was wearing lipstick, cuz you can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig, a la this fine 22-year-old aj-soprano-wannabe, see, is all…

Cogito Ergo Bibo September 12, 2008 at 2:06 pm

Andrew Giuliani sued Duke in July, claiming he was improperly cut from the team earlier this year and that the coach violated a contract he entered when he agreed to come to the university and pay $200,000 in tuition and fees.

Wait. This is a contract dispute?! Seriously? I mean, they promised me that the world would be my oyster when I agreed to attend my chosen college (which clearly hasn’t happened). So I can sue them for that?

Psst. Andrew. Even if they did promise you a spot on the team, you just aren’t special enough to ignor the rules the rest of us mere mortals are required to follow. Jeebus. Entitlement, thy name is Andykins.

HedonismBot September 12, 2008 at 2:10 pm

Test.
Ok good, I just wanted to make sure I haven’t been banned from this site because of my “latest masterpiece involving female genitals, minors, or anal rape” that “makes (me) look like a cretinous woman-hating loser.”
Oh yeah, and Andy G. sucks at golf.

Canmon (the Inadequate) September 12, 2008 at 2:11 pm

His bio is still up on the Duke website. He looks like the villain from The Incredibles:

https://admin.xosn.com/ViewArticle.dbml?DB_OEM_ID=4200&ATCLID=250295

SlithyTove September 12, 2008 at 2:12 pm

A Giuliani by any other name is still rotten to the core.

Borat September 12, 2008 at 2:13 pm

Duke needs a TEAM to play golf? Man, really must be harder than bowling.

2druk2phluq September 12, 2008 at 2:14 pm

This must totally mean I can sue Grad School because I’m not making the fortune I was promised. Also, I intend to retroactively sue my High School for a letter jacket, and the many years of hot teen sex I missed because I didn’t get one.

S.Luggo September 12, 2008 at 2:17 pm

He was so cute when he was young. http://gothamist.com/attachments/Jen%20Chung/2005_06_andrew.jpg What happened?

Lionel Hutz Esq. September 12, 2008 at 2:18 pm

And the knowledge of the Father has been imparted on the son.

soytrucknutz September 12, 2008 at 2:20 pm

The most fucked about all this story is all the pissing and moaning that Donna Hanover is in doing about it in public – Andrew Giuliani is a 22-year-old and he needs momma to talk to the press about it? She’s like the Black Hawk of Helicopter Parents.

ph7 September 12, 2008 at 2:26 pm

It seemed just yesterday when he was the ADD posterboy at his father’s podium…

Gopherit v2.0 September 12, 2008 at 2:49 pm

This is the kind of anger that builds up in someone when his father is a cross-dressing, serial adulterer.

rmontcal September 12, 2008 at 2:52 pm

Chris Farley played him on SNL. Chris Farley could’ve also played John Daly on SNL. The circle is complete.

jodyleek September 12, 2008 at 3:18 pm

Andrew Guiliani will be playing the part of Judge Smails in this evening’s production
of Caddyshack.

The Incomparable Tiny Valdez September 12, 2008 at 3:46 pm

He’s already got that Karl Rove College Republican fat lardass thing going on.

el smrtmnky September 12, 2008 at 3:48 pm

the biggest threat to america: BEARS (with apples)

Lionel Hutz Esq. September 12, 2008 at 5:21 pm

[re=94672]soytrucknutz[/re]: Is Hanover his Mom? With Rudy it gets so confusing.

sanantonerose September 12, 2008 at 5:30 pm

[re=94584]Devil Anse[/re]: Only the softer reds, not green granny smiths.

CRUNCH!

SWING!

MISS!

sanantonerose September 12, 2008 at 5:33 pm

[re=94827]jodyleek[/re]: Ted Knight was the cat’s pajamas.

azw88 September 12, 2008 at 5:37 pm

So what is the big deal about him throwing apples??? I mean, really, he IS from New York, after all. If he were Andrew Young’s son, he would have thrown peaches!!!

sezme September 12, 2008 at 6:44 pm

Fucking terrorist.

supremecourtjester September 12, 2008 at 8:31 pm

And his father wears a dress. This is just another case of discrimination against the children of cross dressers.

snig September 12, 2008 at 10:15 pm

[re=95090]sanantonerose[/re]: Actually, I was predicting the judge saying in Ted Knight’s voice:
“You’ll get nothing and like it!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zrpx4NAtsFQ

donner_froh September 13, 2008 at 1:58 am

“Andrew Giuliani is entitled to no more privileges than any other member of the Duke University student body,” the filing said.

Clearly the Duke University counsel is out of touch with reality.

Liberty September 13, 2008 at 2:33 am
Elessar December 1, 2008 at 12:27 pm

Lots of pent up frustrations in that little fella. He’s obviously lashing out with some emotional baggage, perhaps because he’s the son of a politician. In the end, though, the sport of golf is about talent and skill, not one’s throwing accuracy with fruit. If Andrew wants to improve his game, he’s going to need to work at it like anyone else:

http://www.golfacademy.edu

mcfrady May 20, 2009 at 10:25 pm

After looking at his photo from Duke U yearbook, he’s one fucking dick head – I’ll say that!!

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