Wonkette
We are only hours away from John McCain and Barack Obama’s 9/11 Forum at New York City’s Columbia University, and no one cares. But! Our own Intern Juli actually attends this bratty college and has written about the campus atmosphere leading into the event. Juli’s secret dispatch suggests that a bunch of spoiled snobs are whining about nothing. Who could have predicted?
As no one outside Columbia’s three block campus would ever know, today is a very exciting day in Morningside Heights. John McCain and Barack Obama are coming to the student center to talk about the importance of Service, and 9/11, which is today’s date. And the entire student body will watch the thing from a giant flatscreen teevee on the steps of an administration building, because Columbia hates its students.
No one received tickets to the event because all of the tickets are going to 9/11, which led to student government warfare in the form of a terse but politely worded letter from club leaders demanding this flatscreen teevee. The school agreed because who cares, anything to shut them up.
Fox News arrived late last night and parked illegally in front of the subway entrance. Major Garrett popped out of the van and stood under a giant umbrella. He is probably interviewing students right now about why Barack Obama is so ashamed to have gone to Columbia. But in fairness, Barack Obama is actually ashamed to have gone to Columbia. The presence of that flatscreen teevee will not impress him.
In the context of Columbia’s long and storied history of inviting racists to campus who later say completely expected racist things to the Shock & Horror of the terrible student body, this is a relatively sedate affair. There are no protests, no one is planning to rush the stage, and people seemingly have stopped masturbating to the Memory of 1968. The only nostalgia that your Wonkette intern picked up on is people talking about how the last time Columbia brought out this TV was on 4/20, when there was a screening of Planet Earth.
That blog that Intern Juli keeps linking to is Bwog, a fancy Columbia blog that she runs.
they sould have just had guliani come, would have been much more fun
They let the colored folks into Columbia these days? For shame…
I hope it’s overrun with 9/11 truthers waving crazy pamphlets and a complete lack of logic.
Intern Juli:
I just caught this from the earlier “warning” post:
“[L]atest masterpiece involving female genitals, minors, or anal rape . . . makes [one] look like a cretinous woman-hating loser.”
Question: Isn’t the RNC over by now?
Gesh.
Some people just never know when to leave a party.
grendel: That’s just Facilities Management staff.
Looks boring… let me know when the The Mayor of Tragedy uses his Exploito-Ray on the crowd and Spider-Man swings in from the Verrazano Bridge to save us all.
Hmm. I’m sensing a pattern. They screened “Planet Earth” and now are screening “How We Wave Goodbye to Planet Earth: The 9/11 Chronicles.”
Can I reserve my seat now for, “The Rapture: Sucks To Be Left Behind, Doesn’t It?”
grendel: George Carlin called it “white Harlem”.
obfuscator: He has a double-sided Twin Tower dildo only his mistress/wife is allowed to see.
tunamelt: Was Barry doing a full-on Michael Jackson bleaching program during his time there?
Hopefully some student hippies will break in and protest WALNUTS! Someone better call him on his “community organizer” bullshit at the Convention…
obfuscator: Wait, I thought 9ui11iani wasn’t going to be speaking?
grendel: They let him stay because he swept the Dean’s office?
Juli, as always you do an amazing job. They should double your pay. Or buy you coffee, whichever is worth more to you.
tunamelt: That would be fantastic
So I putx on over to abc.com to see if that interview with the snowbilly starts tonite (it does) and this comes breaking across the screen: SARAH PALIN SAYS WAR MAY BE NECESSARY IF RUSSIA INVADES ANOTHER COUNTRY. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!
magic titty: Now that’s the kind of sick shit that should get a person banned. or promoted.
Important Questions:
1. Is there a pool on how long it takes Barry to drop an “I graduated from Columbia” reference in order to get cheap, but sweet, applause? Anyone?
2. Will McCain make some reference to his Epic Fail at the Naval Academy and try to make it seem like his attendance was the greatest service ever (other than 5.5 years, of course)?
3. Will McCain run an ad tomorrow about how only elitists go to Columbia and real patriots go to Colombia to fight terror and drugz?
4. Will McCain later remember that his esteemed daughter (who is actually the child of Leslie Nielsen) is also a Columbia snob?
Juli, I celebrate your doughty spirit of sacrifice in attending that hoity-toity sherry-sipping hellhole of Lulu Guiness-toting bitches.
Your jejune cynicism bodes well for your future career at wonkette or, if you prefer to move out of that swamp of puerile insufficiency, to the august studios of MSNBC.
Brava!
http://www.mondosapore.com
irisheyes: Don’t worry, as mayor/governor of Alaska, she is in a unique position to protect us.
grendel: Way to blow his secret identity. His weak spot is a swelled Achilles Prostate and his penchant for sexing distant cousins. Before adopting his current nom de supervillainy, he was simply known as “The Lisp”.
Oh, young niave Juli. That link to BWOG is going to bring you nothing but heartache… Don’t let these people get too close.
KevoTron: It’s tragic, really.
columnv: If my lunch break is disrupted by crazies outside of City Hall, I think pretty much everything should be overrun with them and their “GOOGLE 9/11 MYSTERIES” signs. Fuck those people, they’re worse than LaRouchies.
The pictures in this post have the best alt-text ever.
There is a great Greek (no buttsek jokes implied) restaurant right across the street from all of this hoopla. Were I in NYC, I would get a windowta table, down several shots of Ouso (oop-PA!), a bottle of retzina (msp?) and happily up-chuck on the Fox truck.
Sigh.
MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend: you’re on fire today!
Random thoughts….
Word on the street of Columbia alumni circles is that Barry wasn’t that happy at Columbia. They keep offering to give him awards and he keeps declining and doesn’t really want anything to do with Columbia. (This is all fifth-hand hearsay, by the way.)
When I say that I attended/graduated Columbia, I still get people would ask me why I went to South American for college. At least they know Colombia is in South America (thanks to cocaine, no doubt).
You have no idea what fond memories I have seeing a picture of that plaza, which is the site of countless protests and sledding (on “borrowed” cafeteria trays) and all kinds of nonsense. Good times.
Why are so many posters pimping their own blogs these days? I find that to be cretinous behavior.
MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend: As to point #2, he will try to connect with the slackers & say ‘I graduated 894th out of 899 students. So you 1.8 GPAers can grow up to run for president one day, too’. [Insert pained grin/grimace here.]
Gopherit v2.0: I hope I’m not lumped in with that. I posting the “We Want Shorts” campaign on Facebook.
I can’t imagine allowing this group access to my blog. The judgment, I fear it.
Hutch: Mmmmm…saganaki.
From NYT web cover story:
“At the end of the ramp, the two senators greeted a small receiving line; each took a rose — Mr. Obama, a pink one, and Mr. McCain, a yellow one — and laid the flower on a reflecting pool at the bottom of the site.”
So. . . War veteran McCain knows that yellow roses signify remembrance while arugula chomping Obambi knows . . . What? That pink brings out the bronze undertones in his eyes?
Gopherit v2.0: No, I don’t mind those links at all.
I’m talking the blog-pimping. coughstrappocoughcoughmillercough. If you want traffic for your blog, pimp it at Kos. You aren’t paying Layne for the advert space here.
tunamelt: All my snarky comments today have randomly required the word short/shorts/high pants. I’m too scared to post them. Wonkette Dearest may lock me in a closet.
Hey why all the hatred of Columbia? I did my MFA in creative writing there and I’m proud to let people know it when I’m interviewing for jobs I will never land…
tunamelt: Oh, great, just what we need, another Cynics’ Party for the HomoFascsist’s Army. That worked out real well when we were trying to bring Meghan back, dinnit?
irisheyes: Sigh. Was anyone with any real authority or knowledge sitting next to her when she said it? Probably not.
This is the beauty of Caribou Barbie. As soon as they let her loose, she’ll spend all her time screwing up whatever it is she thinks that she and McCain stand for, while Grampy will spend all of his times correcting (or “clarifying,” in spin-speak) what she meant when she said that global warming could be solved by building a large enough air conditioner.
pondscum: You can put lipstick on an Alaskan fried cheese, but it will never be saganaki!
Shorts deserves justice!!!!1!
Cogito Ergo Bibo: I saw a small clip from the interview on abc.com, she will fuck up quickly. When left alone she will spew crazy beliefs and cause an electoral landslide.
Oh, shit. Palin did say that about Russia. I’ll be in my underground bunker, drinking and crying.
When asked by Gibson if under the NATO treaty, the U.S. would have to go to war if Russia again invaded Georgia, Palin responded: “Perhaps so. I mean, that is the agreement when you are a NATO ally, is if another country is attacked, you’re going to be expected to be called upon and help.
“And we’ve got to keep an eye on Russia. For Russia to have exerted such pressure in terms of invading a smaller democratic country, unprovoked, is unacceptable,” she told ABC News’ Charles Gibson in an exclusive interview.
http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/Vote2008/story?id=5778018&page=1
sweetits: I was thinking about talking about how I was wearing shorts in remembrance but I realized I’m wearing slacks. So it didn’t work.
Test?
tunamelt: I love you.
sweetits: Did you watch the clip online?
Gibson: Are you really ready for this?
Barbie: When we take that oath of office on January 20, I’ll be ready. Er, um, I AM ready.
Gopherit v2.0: It’s the company we keep.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: She said “unprovoked”? Is that her first foreign policy gaffe?
I’m pretty sure Georgia first went into South Ossetia to try and regain control over it, probably with tacit approval from the West. What Russia did after that was disproportionate, but it wasn’t unprovoked.
Gopherit v2.0: heh heh heh
Actually I have a serious, relevant 9/11 bashing post up. My rage knows no bounds.
You’re free to come to my blog and shit all over me. GREAT FOR SITE TRAFFIC.
BTW, Miller’s blog is a hoot. So don’t get all uppity wit’ me, boy.
obfuscator: I can think of about a gazillion other places I’d rather be, like chilling indoors at the same forum, with cold Guinness and nachos. I mean, they could put up a big bulletproof glass in front of the candidates (in case the dirty Irish throw something at wrinkly wrinks)[I'm Irish... and by dirty I mean druk]. Spiderman would be good also.
Oops, I forgot, my first time to say: Hi, Juli! Love your stuff.
iwillsavethispatient: It’s not in the interview clip they show, but it’s in the article teasing the interviews. Yup. “Unprovoked.”
I IS ALIVE. FINALLY.
But those 9/11 people, they are not.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: iwillsavethispatient: Behold, the power of literacy.
iwillsavethispatient: Since it’s her first foreign policy statement at all, that’s a nice batting average. Totally consistent with her domestic record thus far.
Strappo: The editors asked you nicely not to do it. But go ahead and poach traffic.
shortspantsshorts: welcome back, offender of multitudes
shortspantsshorts: uh-oh. I’m getting out the egg timer.
Good luck shorts. And remember to use your powers for Good.
shortspantsshorts: So I guess this means no thread bombs this time around. Bummer.
Barbie’s answer about whether she felt qualified to say “yes” to McCain’s offer of the VP position is a super scary non-answer. A bunch of rambling about “Well, I couldn’t hesitate. You have to act decisively.” Nothing about actually be ready. Which led Gibson to mention the magic word: hubris.
I’m not expecting much hard-hitting journalism here (okay, ANY hard-hitting journalism), but if she can’t manage to answer these slow-pitch softballs, well, see you all in hell.
So dudes here is the thing, when you remove comments or ban commentators you effectively end discourse. Do I agree with Shorts Shorts Shorts sentiment, no, but in the words of old dead guys far wiser than I, “I will defend his right to say it.”More off as a women’s history major and a victim of sexual assault I think that censorship is not the answer. Humor even when offensive is a way of bringing uncomfortable subjects up for discussion and though I respect your position Jim, I also feel it is self defeating.
9/11 is so emo, should’ve just gotten Depeche Mode instead.
btw, bill clinton’s 125th st office is well within walking distance. just sayin’.
officejob9000: You’re a woman’s history major and a victim of sexual assault? Funny, I’d have pegged you (from your literary tone) as a man. Hm. Beard and wire-rimmed glasses, huh? And a ponytail?
Cogito Ergo Bibo: I hereby recommend that Obama’s campaign theme should be: “Hope or Holocaust”; he should run an updated version of the “Daisy” ad until, like February, to make damn sure Palin doesn’t get near the nuclear football.
Speaking of offensive comments:
Do you people REALIZE that Benzair Bhutto is still DEAD?!?!?!
Less than six hours now until we can begin moping about 9/12, or as my disciples and I call it: The Day It Became A Hassle to Fly Anywhere.
Strappo: Lest you achieve permanent union with your undershorts, she attends Barnard, Columbia’s girls annex.
http://www.wikicu.com/Juli_Weiner
http://www.teenvogue.com/teamvogue/blogs/intern/2007/06/meet_juli.html
S.Luggo: If he gets banned, I am so totally not starting a Facebook campaign to bring him back, just for the record.
Gopherit v2.0: So, McCain thinks she’s going to be the Golden Goose, but it turns out she got a golden duck.
That was a cricket reference, sorry folks.
S.Luggo: A little creepy that you dug that up, Sluggo.
Favorite moment of the week, to date:
“He (Obama) went on to talk about an old fish stinking; I kind of took that to mean he was talking about Senator McCain…” said Republican Congresswoman Mary Fallin, spokesperson for McCain, noting the obvious similarity between Obama’s description of a rotting fish corpse and the fetid old man she serves.
…those of you who have a TV nearby, Caribou Barbie will be on ABC in a few minutes!
S.Luggo: Sorry, but Barnard is not really Columbia.
AngryBlakGuy: will this be live online or what? Drat.
InsidiousTuna: You’re welcome.
AngryBlakGuy:
She is such a Maroon.
http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/Vote2008/story?id=5778018&page=1
— [In tonight's interview] Palin defended a previous statement in which she reportedly characterized the war in Iraq as a “task from God”. [ABC’s] Gibson quoted her as saying: “Our national leaders are sending U.S. soldiers on a task that is from God.” But Palin said she was referencing a famous quote by Abraham Lincoln. “… [W]hat Abraham Lincoln had said, and that’s a repeat in my comments, was let us not pray that God is on our side in a war or any other time, but let us pray that we are on God’s side.”
http://www.rutlandherald.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080909/OPINION02/809090310/
—- Lincoln expressed a more balanced view of our nation’s relationship with God in response to the comment of a clergyman who said that he hoped “the Lord was on our side.” Lincoln said, “I know that the Lord is always on the side of the right. But it is my constant anxiety and prayer that I and this nation should be on the Lord’s side.” —-
tunamelt: …I am not sure but this is the link for his blog
http://blogs.abcnews.com/theworldnewser/2008/09/the-palin-inter.html
AngryBlakGuy: Excellent, because I think Sarah Palin is a very respectable candidate and believe that her overcoming of so many triumphs will surely prevail in November. She is a very nice lady and deserves everything blessed and wonderful and I shall never say anything bad about her again lest I am banned.
tunamelt: Actually, nevermind, I’m going to miss this whole ABC-Sarah Palin clusterfuck love fest in favor of drinking at a USC Trojan Football pep rally at the clusterfuck known as the Grove.
tunamelt: There’s some clips on abcnews.com already. She’s talking about God and Lincoln and holy war.
shortspantsshorts: Wow, that’s weird.
S.Luggo: shortspantsshorts: …WoW, third question and she is already trying to side step!
shortspantsshorts: Don’t write stupid shit. Glad to see you’re back.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: Now that is Change she can deceive in!
pinko-commie: What??? Are you saying that Barnard in not located next to Panama?
…OHHHHHHHHHH GAAAAAAWWWWD, I cant wait until the debates!!!!
…she just said she is willing to go to war with Russia!!!
Hey Russia you pussies! She can see you! Yea, she’s looking at you!!!
…she just said she wouldn’t second guess and decision that Israel made to attack Iran!!! WTF!!!
…she believes in PREEMPTIVE STRIKES!!
Thank you dear lord I don’t even believe in, for inventing YouTube! This is gonna be …*
…I never thought I would say this(or it was possible) this woman is Bush lite!
AngryBlakGuy: I really hope Alaska is our first line of defense, as long as Sarah isn’t there (I don’t want anything bad to happen to her!)
InsidiousTuna: Got it. Check. Right on.
Folks at Hopey Central must be wide-eyed and agog like the folks you see in front of a jackpot spewing slot machine!
This is insane. She doesn’t know Bush’s current position on Pakistan, but she’s willing to agree on the fly to invade that country on our own, without their permission? SHE WILL KILLZ US ALL!!!!
My god. What WERE they tutoring her on?
NUKLEAR KOMBAT!
TOE TO TOE WITH THE RUSSKIS!
YEAH!
(Oh, man, am I glade the early 1960s are BACK! Maybe THIS time I can get LAID!!!!!)
(Probably not, but Hope Springs Eternal In My Pants or something.)
ZippyDee: Stupidity Christmas.
At least she’s consistent with what other countries can do. Isreal can bomb anyone they want too! Cuz we love Isreal! That nice Mr. Lieberman told me all about that.
shortspantsshorts: HOORAY!!!
Shall we double date? You can bring the honorable and never skanky Governor Palin and I shall bring Helen Thomas.
(I hear she puts out on the first date.)
Cogito Ergo Bibo: You have to learn to walk before you can run; you have to learn to read before you can learn your party’s policy position.
“I am so proud of my son making a strong independent decision to serve in the military.”
Translation: “All that stuff about my making an agreement to send him into the army to avoid being arrested is TOTALLY not true!”
“I don’t know if it is a task from God, Charlie” Sure, I said exactly that to the gaggle of inbred dolts at that Churchie place a couple of months ago, but hell! You have to say crap like that there!
KevoTron: That is a horrifying image. Please describe in depth. Thank you.
I notice she’s still saying “nuke-u-lar.” She must really miss that teleprompter with all the phonetic spellings.
tunamelt: My very favorite holiday! And I got just what I wanted!
tunamelt: I’m thinking that whomever taught her to read is feeling a bit guilty at this point
re=93338]ZippyDee[/re]: It’s all part of God’s plan! Which includes me accidentally hitting the button to start WW III, thinking I’m buzzing Marge in the outside office.
McCain came to my college and no students got tickets (only the Olds). Then he said he wouldn’t mind a draft and everybody covered it and I was happy people mentioned Las Cruces, NM until everybody forgot about us again the next week.
Michelle Obama came once too and I got to sit pretty close and totally fell in love with her!
Julie Wiener.
What kind of intern can’t spell her own name?
shortspantsshorts: Your pants look familiar.
Algy Pug: I was killed, but the good Lord Sarah Palin gave me life number 3 on Wonkette.
OMG! They’re back. I no sooner reported The Democratic National Committee had been consigned to the dustbin, than it reappeared that very night at the 9-11 Forum On Public Service & Civic Engagement. Held at Columbia University, Richard Stengel, managing editor of TIME narrated the forum, staged by Service Nation (a new nationwide coalition). The DNC reemerged as The (International) Provisional People’s Collective Party, or PCP. Howard Dean is still the chairman. And, guess what the PCP has planned; you guessed it: Political Officers, Commissars. The title Commissar refers to either a People’s Commissar (government), or a Political Commissar (military). The good news, we’re going to get both. In the Soviet Union, the Institute of Political Commissars was established to control the military. The state security organizations, KGB, etc., and or People’s Commissars also controlled the Soviet Army, together with the entire Soviet State. The apparatus was so effective; we should have Commissars. But first we need an organ with which to train them. Welcome comrade, to Hillary’s National Public Service Academy: http://theseedsof9-11.com
The way the teevee is covered up in the first pixxx actually reminds me of the kabbah in mecca.
Why does Columbia support terrorists?
http://flickr.com/photos/chinx786/2391996603/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ygg2uWsKK6w