Wonkette
We know that various lipstick metaphors are the most important issues in the 2008 presidential election following eight years of George W. Bush, but we feel we should mention something about this new HIT PIECE from the liberal Nation magazine. In the above picture, John McCain and his campaign manager Rick Davis are boarding a fancy boat to celebrate McCain’s 70th birthday, 423 years ago. Ha ha, look at freakin’ Walnuts trying to shimmy up that ramp. Anyway, who is that greasy Montenegrin convicted con artist playboy, the one who owned the boat?
The Nation describes this Rafaello Follieri as an “A List” con man, and who knows Balkan con man stratification charts better than the Nation? Yesterday, this dude pleaded guilty in a Manhattan district court to many counts of wire fraud, money laundering, and other rich mobster crimes. His “big thing” was posing as Vatican chief financial officer “in order to win friends and investments.”
Now you’d think that an international businessman or politician trying to curry favor with the Vatican would at least check out the “Contact Us” tab on the Pope’s website to confirm the identity of its chief financial officer — you know, just in case the guy you’re scheduled to go “yachting” with isn’t really some slimy Montenegrin crook who’ll trick you into investing into his dummy corporation and then promptly wire that money into his personal bank account.
But as we know, Rick Davis and John McCain don’t much like to “vet,” and obviously they fell for this guy:
It must not have seemed that way to Follieri. According to the Italian newspaper Il Sole 24 Ore, in January 2007 Follieri sent Rick Davis a packet of information on his companies Follieri Capital and Follieri Media, apparently hoping to get financing from Pegasus Capital Advisors, a hedge fund in Connecticut that Davis represented. “Follieri’s proposal to Davis had two dimensions to it–first, as an investment opportunity for Davis’s fund; but secondly, there was the political dimension, in which Follieri offered to help deliver Catholic votes to McCain,” said Claudio Gatti, a reporter for Il Sole 24 Ore, who investigated Follieri for eighteen months.
This is easily the best explanation of how The Godfather: Part III ended that we’ve ever seen.
Oh and lest we forget: since this guy was a generic shady foreign playboy with money in the last five years, Bill Clinton obviously did business with him too.
The McCain-Follieri Love Boat [Nation]
Wait, I don’t understand, did he wear lipstick?
That Anne Hathaway. Always getting into photogenic trouble.
And seriously. Posing as the CFO of the Vatican? Who’d have thought that would get you anything other than alter boy tail?
Is Mac wearing stone-washed denim???
…WALNUTS! thought bubble: I wonder where they keep all the oars and slaves?
They weren’t playing Texas Hold ‘Em on that yacht by any chance, were they?
…ironically this is WALNUTS! best landing on boat in his entire life.
Would anyone like to sign-up for a rescue mission?
An attempt to pin something on WALNUTS! Wait, wait, I sense…failure.
AngryBlakGuy: You’re a on roll today. You’re killing me!
This is why Cindy takes care of the finances and the real estate in the the McCain household. To keep John semi-clean by taking care of the laundering.
I’m a little more concerned about Billy Ayers than I am about this corrupt playboy.
That’s unfair. McCain just looks like he has forgotten where he is and is randomly following strangers around.
columnv: No. Pajama bottoms.
For once, the dumb hollywood starlet isn’t biggest gold digger in that photo.
So, what’s all this I hear about McCain having a negro friend? Is it the father of his black baby?
It’s a good think Walnuts! doesn’t understand all internet traditions. Otherwise he’d be giving out his bank account number to help that poor family in Ghana that need to wire him a portion of their inheritance.
But was there an albino monk involved? Yeah, I’m sorry, but a scandal as convoluted as The DaVinci Code probably won’t have “legs” as they say.
WALNUTS thought bubble: Now this is a bridge to somewhere!
You would think Johnny Mac could dress up a little for a fancy yacht party. Or maybe his shirt tail is out to hide his gun.
Wait is that Anne Hathaway behind him in the photo?? Didnt I see her crying at Hopey’s nomination??
Whore.
To be fair, McCain really looks relunctant to meet that guy, kinda like he’s just going through the motions, dragged along by others… Er, wait, he always looks like that, doesn’t he?
magic titty: She used to date that guy before he was arrested.
Serolf Divad: “John McCain and his campaign manager gave a sleazy convicted crook lots of money in return for political favors, oh and here’s a picture.” Maybe? This would be sexist against Sarah Palin though.
If it wasn’t for boats white people wouldn’t have been able to get to America, to establish the greatest country, ever. No wonder why liberals hate boats.
The ever-awesome Rachel Maddow spent two hours talking about this last night on her tragically shitty show.
You’d think McCain would want to stay away from MonteNegroes.
columnv:
“Is Mac wearing stone-washed denim???”
Actually, those look more like the sans-a-belt, demin-look, easy care pants they sell in ads in the American Legion magazine.
tunamelt: I replied, and shed a few eagle-tears too.
Is this the one who was doing that chick from the Princess Diaries?
tunamelt: I knows that - I’m just saying, I question her loyalty to Hopey.
Kaylub: It’s a minute past his Metamucil time. All the time.
Again with the racism toward Montenegrins. This will so backfire on you.
*Ding-ding…ding-ding* “Sunken Fleet…arriving” *Ding*
What an elitist celebrity…
Political Addict: Ode To A Troll: a poem by The Guru Kalehuru
Die, Pigfucker, Die!
You are a fly on the windowsill of civilization
a dark speck, lurking
generally unnoticed until you choose
to buzz around the room annoyingly
a reminder of filth and disease
I swat you with a newspaper
Die, Pigfucker, Die!
You are the light brown stain on my cotton briefs
a pale remnant of an involuntary reflex
that I want to keep hidden
from anyone I’m even halfway attracted to
I wear you on rainy, gloomy Saturdays
and fart in you without remorse
Die, Pigfucker, Die!
You are the cigarette butt on the lawn
unrecycled and unrecyclable
you are the worm in the apple
the sudden revelation of armpit hair that quenches all passion
the wrench left accidentally on purpose on the assembly line
You are the virus infecting the flea that lives on the rat that carries the plague
although reason and logic mean nothing to you
science has rendered you irrelevant
and the modern world is a foreign country to you
Please do the world a favor
and just kill yourself
Wow! The guy duped a dumb actress and an idiot politician. Go figure.
JadedDIssonance: Has anyone ever tried to bottle eagle tears? Would it cure things?
It at least should be worked on to sell for the next anniversary of the MOST HORRIBLE DAY IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE.
Terry: Possibly “Hagar” slacks…
badco/LoJ: The show is really bad, isn’t it? And I’m a huge fan of the Rachel Maddow. What a bummer.
Serolf Divad: Well . . . WALNUTS! has the albino part covered.
“The Con Men Diaries”
Hell, McWalnuts was just shopping for his next trophy wife…but AH was too young to double as a VP pick. His close personal friend W hadn’t closed that constitutional loophole yet. He figured Cindy aka Meal Ticket would get suspicious.
Why do liberals always try to blow people’s minds with overly convoluted stories of international lobbying. How come we never get a storyline like–”Mother. Moosehunter. Maverick”, the kind of thing Americans can actually understand?
Cogito Ergo Bibo: Is that her behind the Monty Negro in that shot? I’m pretty sures it is…
tunamelt: what happened? was there Internet drama last night?
Delicious: Apparently this morning. I missed it because I was actually working.
Look, McCain is as dirty and craven a politician as has ever been. He was elected on “daddy’s money” - his wife’s daddy’s money - and he was neck deep in the whole S&L crisis, which gave him religion. His “Maverick” image is a pose meant to deflect the fact that he got his hand caught in the cookie jar big time.
He reminds me of all “born agains” that I have ever met. They ALL seem to be running from or covering up something, some fundamental flaw that they cannot control or don’t want exposed. It is usually sex, alcohol or drugs. In McSame’s case it is the fact that he has ALWAYS known that he is middle of the pack material and he is deathly afraid that someone is going to figure it out. When he got caught with the Keating Five he was a close to political death as one can get without dying off. Since then he has worked to change the image, but it hasn’t been because he wants to help, it’s because he wants to win elections.
columnv: Shedding them was a little bit awkward, since they automatically burn liberals and their ilk. Kinda like Holy Water For To Protect Trailer Parks.
The whole story on this guy is in Vanity Fair this month.
AfghanVet: That, my dear Vet, is a fabulous summation. Can you please send that to Barry?
tunamelt: I saw the offensive post happen. It wasn’t pretty. If I were any good at these things, I’d try to find a google cached page or something legendary and haxorly. Oh well.
tunamelt: Now I see the admin post. Yeah, some stuff was getting out of hand.
“CFO of the Vatican”. Damn, can’t use THAT one any more…
columnv: The dark denim has been bleached by the Vietnam and Arizona sun, just like John McSame’s face.
gurukalehuru: That was inspired. Homeric.
tunamelt: Banning Shorts*3 is not change we can believe in. Couldn’t we send him(her? it?) to a rehab clinic and get a sincere apology and move on? If it works to cure gayitude, surely it’ll work to cure inappropriate posting.
So McCain’s walking up this ramp saying, “Day-um the Catholic Church knows how to party. I gotta get me sommadat yacht-busting, actress-fucking, Cristal-drinkin’ action when I’m in da Hiz-ouse.”
PWND
How is this surprising? The guy bought into Dubya’s shit for years, AFTER he’d already been burned at that dumb monkey’s hands. He’s obviously not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
I thought this guy got killed in one of the Lethal Weapon movies…
Walnuts thought bubble: Maybe we can take this thing to the Indies, and get some silk and spices.
This would only have been interesting if Anne Hathaway were wearing a see-through black top with no bra like she’s want to…
tunamelt: Tell Shorts to try TOR (The Onion Router)… never be the same IP twice
The Boat to Nowhere.
AfghanVet: His bottom five in his class ranking says he’s not even middle of the pack…
pinko-commie: Then I’d presume that the pants have a few squamous cell lesions as well.
ph7: Bridge to Don’t Care
JadedDIssonance: do they work against trailer park tornadoes too?
The guy in the blazer- his pants are way too short. Let us all laugh at smallslacks-assface. Oh god was that sexist-racist? The other notable aspect of the photo is that McCain’s jeans are from 1992.
[Not pictured above: twenty-seven WHORES]
“Montenegrin” sounds vaguely racist.
What’s all this got to do with The Matrix and the guy that farts through silk?
magic titty: No, no, no, that’s Ashley Dupree. What is the exchange rate for whore diamonds in Montenegro?
Hey, where’s Donna Rice?
AngryBlakGuy: too funny!!!
Don’t tell me the short shorts guy got banned?! He’s funny, most of the time. What did he say? What in the name of Jesusfuckslittleboys did he say?
At McWalnuts’ insistence, Rafey drowns giddy white woman for reflecting too much sun on John’s skin, causing him to crack, peel & blister: http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2007/specials/yearend/loveboat/anne_hathaway.jpg
grendel: http://images.easyart.com/i/prints/rw/lg/2/3/Celebrity-Image-Anne-Hathaway-231061.jpg ?
You know you can put lipstick on a pig but it’s still a pig, you can ban shorts shorts shorts but his will will still be felt… damn the man save the empire.
gurukalehuru: seemed to be in some kind of self destructive spiral that caused him to post ad hominem attacks on Ken Layne. Hope it is shorts’ doppelganger, as I agree his posts were enjoyable. Also must say that early on I found the totally out of context aggression of his posts about Ken mildly humorous.
Thank you all for supporting an article of clothing so passionately.
WTF??? shorts has been banned???? Given what he’s been allowed to post in the past, the mind reels at what he must have said/typed to get the mighty banhammer swingin’ his way….
Geez, and he was gonna help me get my Green Card…..
freakishlystrong: the devil wears lipstick
OK, so shorts is actually alright. Thank goodness, because I was drawing a blank in trying to eulogize the little guy.
Now, about that Green Card???
Canuckledragger: We’ll get that green card.
AngryBlakGuy: Damn… that may be the funniest thing I have ever read from you.
I only try to be funny here. This is like my After-deadly-serious-blogging Lounge, where I can kick back and not worry for a minute (until the next round of horrific revelations about our nation comes down the wire). I used to just read it, because I am so not funny, but now I’m trying.
It takes a lot of alcohol and stuff.
shortspantsshorts: Canuckledragger: Are you guys getting married? Because you can totally do that in California.
That bastard poem remindes me of Michelles’ College Thesis these dam white people are killing me!
tunamelt: If they do, shorts might be better off moving to Canada.
shortspantsshorts: you got banned for not saying “assfucking” enough I’m sure. Stop censoring yourself and let it all hang out; if Wonkette thinks you’re pulling punches, it’s all over. 86. 23-skidoo. Rapture, etc.
Before this Follieri guy, the only Montenegrin con man I’d ever heard of was Nero Wolfe.
Gopherit v2.0: Definitely agreeing with you there. Marry me Canuckle.
tunamelt: No, baby; shorts has to come here because I could NEVAH afford US “health care”… you should pardon that oxymoron. [But now that I know shorts is only in his 20s, the notion kinda creeps me out. I've got kids older'n him.]
Besides, I have to stay for at least another 28 days so’s I can vote in our federal election. We must turf the Bush-lite prick who’s been in charge here for the past 2-plus years, and I’m counting on ManchuCandydate and Wagamuffin to do their part. Then, my work here is done and it’s off to Cahlyfohnya to sleep on shorts’ couch. [He promised not to kill me in my sleep, and... well, he seems like a trustworthy sort...]
Kaylub: He looks like he just stumbled into a Wal-Mart in need of a bathroom and is looking for the greeter.
For more pics see Ames web site exiledonline.com
http://exiledonline.com/the-mccain-follieri-bang-boat/#more-904
Why didn’t they have a camcorder? Dammmmm!
Mc 5.5 has Mafia connections and fundraisers? A higher bidder will have those people blow him away! How toad-suckin’ dumb can one man be? And he’s just 18mm heartbeats away from the pregnancy — oops prezdunzy.
riceroni: So if I’m white and I hate white people (I only go for the bros…oh yeah). What does that make me?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ygg2uWsKK6w
Next time Walnuts a birthday maybe Sarah Palin can go skinny dipping with Anne Hathaway off the poop deck. Call in the Paparazzi.
grendel: Not for long. http://news.cnet.com/8301-13578_3-10040152-38.html?tag=nl.e703