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We Failed MSNBC’s 9/11 Quiz

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The MSNBC television channel is home to numerous liberal windbag children like Keith Olbermann, the important sports highlight show reporter who gets very grave and solemn while discussing people who exploit 9/11 in a tacky, self-promoting fashion, which ironically is what he’s doing in the process. And so Keith must be upset today with his network’s website, MSNBC.com, which actually has a live feature called “Know 9/11? Take a tougher-than-usual quiz.” We’re not sure when all of these “usual” 9/11 quizzes took place, but we agree that this one is tougher. We got a 40% and will now go to Gitmo. DHS agents are picking us up any moment now. Oh no they’re breaking down the door! Well, everyone, it’s been a pleasu

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • ManchuCandidate

    I got 70% as a Furriner. Does this mean I can get a green card (not that I want one)?

  • CivicHoliday

    That scary flag-winged eagle shall haunt my nightmares for all eternity. Thanks, Gitmo-Jim. Enjoy your testicle electricution!

  • LauraElizabeth

    This is the best:

    4. At the time of 9/11 attacks, President Bush was in the Sarasota, Fla., area, where he was visiting an elementary school to promote an education initiative. What is the name of the school?
    Booker T. Washington Elementary School
    H. Barbara Booker Elementary School
    Emma E. Booker Elementary School
    Kermit R. Booker Elementary School
    5. After hearing of the attacks and finishing a book with second graders at the Booker Elementary School, President Bush was rushed to Air Force One, which was quickly airborne. Where did the plane next touch down?

  • Godless Liberal *

    I am 50% more patriotic than Wonkette.

  • 4tehlulz

    [re=92779]ManchuCandidate[/re]: No it means you HAVE to get one.

  • dougbob

    do ya think we can get sarah palin to take this test?

  • Cogito Ergo Bibo

    I suck. 40%. In all fairness, if you pass this test, you know too much. And, obviously, you’re a terrorist.

  • NoWireHangers

    I got 40% too. You mean Booker T. Washington Elementary School doesn’t exist? Bastards.

  • 4tehlulz

    [re=92785]dougbob[/re]: With or without Joe Lieberman whispering in his ear?

  • El Bombastico

    [re=92785]dougbob[/re]: Yes, in three weeks, after rigorous prep from Joe Lieberman.

  • Anita Cocktail

    Um, going back to the post before this one, were they regular cretins? or troll cretins? or new cretins who haven’t gotten the unspoken conventions and unwritten code that real Wonketeers live by?


    I’m 50% of a Never Forget, Crying Eagle patriot. Suck it, Al Quaeda.

  • ZippyDee

    [re=92779]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Unfair. You probably get fact-based news coverage where you are from. You may as well have just cheated, you cheatie cheater!

  • BrutallyHonestBabes

    I’m glad I have learned the 9/11 lesson that President Dubya was not at Kermit the Frog Elementary School during the terrorist attacks. I am now qualified to be VP!

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    I got a D- and I’m still smarter than Bush.

  • Wagamuffin

    Keith Olbermann. Tested. Ugh.

  • Serolf Divad

    The GOP version:

    1) America was attacked because:

    (choose 1)
    1) The terrorists hate our Freedoms

    2) True or False: Everyone, and I mean everyone thought Iraq had WMDs:

    (Choose true or true)
    1) True

    3) The August PDB that Condi Shared with Bush was titled:

    (Choose 1)
    1) “Bill Clinton says Bin Ladin unlikely to attack US any time soon.”

    4) The U.S. economy tanked, and millions list their jobs because of:

    (Choose 1)
    1) The recession Bush inherited from Clinton deepened after 9/11

    5) The Lord Lifted his protecting veil and allowed 9/11 because:

    (choose 1)
    1) We tolerate Homosexuals in this country

    6) If Barack Obama were elected President:

    (Choose 1)
    1) A resurgent Al Qaeda would launch new attacks against America that would make 9/11 look like your Thanksgiving dinner.

  • 4tehlulz

    [re=92788]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: In all fairness, I think you’re considered a terrorist if you believe that most of the attackers were from the land of oil and friendship, Saudi Arabia.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …dont feel so bad guys, “W” got negative 30%!

  • columnv

    10. Excluding the hijackers, almost 3,000 people were killed in the 9/11 attacks. Among these were hundreds of foreign nationals. Which country lost most citizens?

    I like this question. Cause w/o the 19 hijackers, you’re “almost 3,000” gets pretty fucked up.

  • Johnny Zhivago

    [re=92781]LauraElizabeth[/re]: Everyone knows Bush was circling Manhattan in a Trilateral Commission AWACS Command Frigate – carefully disguised as a Circle Line Tour boat.

  • Scott-san


    I’m gonna go cower in the corner to get ready for the dogs. Maybe they’ll pile all of us Wonketteers up and take a group picture.

  • cal

    The only answer that matters: My Pet Goat.

  • Uncle Al

    The test forgot to ask, “Why did President Bush ignore Condi’s memo warning of the attacks?”
    a. He doesn’t know how to read.
    b. He doesn’t like to read.
    c. He’s more of a “gut” person, not a “thinking” person.
    d. He doesn’t like to read.

  • Walter Sobchak

    I got a 50%. I think they should make Rudy take this on National Teevee.

  • Anita Cocktail

    I got 80 percent right. Suck it, losers!

  • Gopherit v2.0

    80%. I don’t know whether to be proud or to up my meds.

  • DoctorCulturae

    Simple Sarah says: “I don’t have to know all there is about 9/11, because I already know everything I need to know. No one has told me just what teh Allen Kayduh does.”

  • MARCdMan

    70% I’m packing my bags for the “know too much” side of Git’mo.

  • jagorev

    I got 50%, which proves I am more patriotic than Wonkette.

  • Anita Cocktail

    [re=92803]Serolf Divad[/re]: Ha ha, you should have Thanksgiving in my parents’ house. Toss-up.

  • PengIn

    30%. I haz forgetted.

  • Terry

    70%! Woo hoooooo

    Is that level of knowledge too high for a job at Homeland Security?

  • JadedDIssonance

    I got 40%, but I think that’s only because I chose the most ironic answers.

  • grendel

    I got a 50%… it said I’m scheduled for a sitdown meeting with Larry Craig in a Minneapolis Airport bathroom… Oh noes!

  • Serolf Divad

    [re=92821]Anita Cocktail[/re]:

    I know… that was a softball tossed out for one of you guys.

  • demtard

    Let’s make that jackass Rudy Giuliani take this fucking quiz and laugh when he gets a shitty score.

  • Trollop

    I got 90% link

    Not sure if I should be proud or worried…

  • Anonymous Office Zombie

    That must be a picture of our new American flag Palin’s going to introduce during her eventual presidential inaugeration/monster truck rally.

  • V572625694

    [re=92803]Serolf Divad[/re]: Awe-inspiring!

    7) President John “Sydney” McCain will prevent further terrorist attacks like 9/11 because:

    (Choose 1)
    1) He’s so resolute! Five and a half years, Alan! Plus he knows how to survive crashing aircraft.

  • rambone

    Why does MSNBC hate America with these sexist quizzes that asks for “facts?”

  • Joehoya

    80%. I’ve always prided myself on being slightly better than average.

  • Walter Sobchak

    [re=92827]demtard[/re]: Mom?

  • ReelectTilden

    80%. Does that mean i have to vote for McCain.

  • TGY

    I neither confirm nor deny I took that quiz, nor do I have any knowledge of it at this time.

  • natoslug

    Yay! I got 50%, and I only guessed on 9 of the 10 questions. Today, I am truly proud to be an Armenian. Er, American.

  • Matt Cvetic

    Yeah, baby, I got 90%! Woo hoo!

    Oh, wait…

  • SkimLatteModerate

    This quiz is creepy as fuck.

    What are the names of the “dead” people on United 93? The only people who know this shit are truthers. And/or nerds who actually finished the comission report.

  • JadedDIssonance

    I got a better score on the Science Test. Take THAT Public Schools!

  • Delicious

    I got 80. Would’ve gotten 90 if I didn’t switch on Barksdale.

    Now I’m ready to storm the Gates of Hell!

  • georgia_peach

    Yikes, 30%.

    Usually I’m embarrassed when I do badly on current-events quizzes, but NOTHING in this quiz has anything to do with knowing about or understanding 9/11 (except the part about Saudi Arabia, but since the government doesn’t care, why should we? More public beheadings, please!). It seems to have been written by someone who is unhealthily obsessed with 9/11 minutiae and constantly discussing and reading about the attacks.

    So I’m guessing that Rudy G. would do pretty well, actually.

  • JadedDIssonance

    [re=92848]SkimLatteModerate[/re]: Actually, Todd “Let’s Roll” Beamer went to my undergrad. We had a huge bas-relief memorial of him installed in the new student center that bears his name. Dennis Hastert even showed up to the service! (I helped sing the national anthem for it…hell, a gig’s a gig.)
    I met his wife. I hope her book deal works out.

  • Mara47

    It scares hell out of me that I scored 80% by mostly guessing. (I’d have gotten 90% if I hadn’t changed one answer from what my Inner Wonk knew was right, but that I thought was too obvious and therefore, probably a lie.) This tells me that my brain has been co-opted by subliminable nine-elevening. Where do I get my “Support Our Troops” magnet?

  • WagTehGod

    Where are all the questions about Satan’s horns in the Twin Towers smoke?

  • m_supercomputer

    Hurrah, 9/11 Minutiae! Can a special edition of Trivial Pursuit be far behind? Parker Brothers would totally go for that if they really love America.

  • GayInMaine

    I’m sorry they took you away. Juli-with-no-e, I guess the place is all yours now.

  • ladymacbeth

    [re=92781]LauraElizabeth[/re]: hey! you have my name!

    i only got ted olson, saudi arabia and UK citizens. this says something unflattering, only i don’t know what.

  • Dr. Feelquestionable

    Ha ha, 60%! It took me FIVE AND HALF YEARS to beat Wonkette’s score by 20%.

  • WadISay

    The terrorists wake up every morning thinking how they can hurt America…and so do we!!!

  • Monkey

    That shit is just morbid. I realize ‘Mericans have headline-to-headline memory spans, but a fucking quiz really trivializes the event all too soon.

  • shoeho

    [re=92829]Trollop[/re]: Me too. I think “spends too much time watching 24 hour cable news” is the correct answer. I missed the “four names” one.

  • magic titty

    Haha – I got 10% of the questions right.
    But i also managed to get 90% of them wrong.

    Why do I hate 9/11?

  • gadfly

    Damn I got a 40% too. Maybe I should stop getting ALL of my information from your website.

  • DangerousLiberal

    80%, bitches. Consider all y’all pwned.

    A trivia quiz? About 9/11? The terrorists may not have already won, but the idiots that run our tee vee networks sure are looking good.

  • OzoneTom

    50% But about half of my correct answers were WAGs…

  • ThePuckStopsHere

    90% cause I stay informed by reading websites like Wonkette. I would have scored a perfect ten if only all elementary schools were named after Booker T. Washington like they should be.

  • nutcracker

    90% here too, but I kinda cheated. I was in the Pentagon that day flying all the planes by remote control, and Rummy bumped my shoulder at the wrong time, which was the real reason flight 93 crashed.

  • freppish

    [re=92934]magic titty[/re]: yeah i got 10% to, i think it means that we are smarter because we didnt pay attention to all the conspiracy theory BS, i knew they were from saudi and thats the only detail that matters

  • sanantonerose

    50% And I learnt all those facts from reading Wonkette.

  • planet-arium

    60% for me which is what I always got in algebra. Found memories. Never forget high school!

  • TJBeck

    50% means I’m 25% more smarter then Wonkette!

  • Scooter

    40% would’ve put me in the hall-of-fame as a baseballer!! Crap, all I do is watch cable news. You’d think I’d be better informed.

  • ZippyDee

    [re=92928]shoeho[/re]: Me too. I thought they had the Martin Short character among the options, which I thought was in questionable taste.

  • Mo MoDo

    80% because of my SAT tested answer discriminator (guessing) skills. Follow-up question: What country that we invaded and have lost over 4,000 soldiers in had absolutely NOTHING to do with 9/11?

  • BruceLee5000

    40%. But give me break, who memorized the names of famous Flight 93 passengers? Or cretinous movie directors for that matter…

  • Tawmn

    I got 60% so clearly I am a terrorizz

  • Anita Cocktail

    [re=92834]V572625694[/re]: Haha, “Love Sydney” was a teevee show about a GAY guy. Does that mean John Mccain secretly wants teh buttsecks?

  • HomoPolitico

    The answer to every question about 9/11 is simple:

    The Jews.

  • HomoPolitico

    BTW, I’m a member of the tribe, a hebrew, a yid, a kike, a hook-nose, a red sea pedestrian…not an anti-semite. I’m only an anti-semite when I’m working in food service.

  • InKnockYouUs

    loggin in. Whew it was hard to register here. I had to swear I knew nothing about anal rap. What is this 9/11 you speak of?

  • azw88

    Ha!! I got 90%!!!

    I guess that makes me…. ummm…… a republican, because we all know that the heathen, terrorist-loving, Hussein-backing, freedom hating,liberal-pussy democrats know NOTHING about 9/11.

  • Paradise

    phew. only got 50% so i get to keep my liberal card.

  • Rush

    110% because its about my family values

  • uncletravelingmatt

    30%. I can’t remember if not knowing anything makes me more patriotic or less.

  • scwrud

    80 percent, and when did Newark get an airport?

  • AlexisHidell

    60%, and would have been better if I’d remembered that Tony Blair wasn’t Canadian. Damn 4:20!

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    Ha! 50%! That means I get waterboarded in the comfort of my own condo.

  • villageatrois

    [re=92803]Serolf Divad[/re]: Shit! Just one choice for each, which was welcome after a hard test, but I only got 60%. I think my problem is that I know the answers, but I don’t accept them. Fail, or what?

  • Sir Gaywad Baggington-Douchely von Suck

    [re=93234]scwrud[/re]: 1986, scwrud. I know because I passed through what passed for Newark’s previous airport around 1985, a year before the new one was built. I seem to recall it as something resembling a big, sweaty pile of moldy plastic with a Roy Rogers inside of it. But they had posters up all over the place saying the new airport was going to be much better!

    I got 80%, by the way. So I am now Vice President of 9/11.