terrorists

Fancy Liberal Rapper Caught Planning New 9/11 Thing

Oh dear, it looks like those liberal celebrities are insulting George W. Bush’s heroism by plotting amateurish “copycat crimes” against Freedom. Why else would self-loathing college rapper Kanye West be arrested at the airport, on 9/11? Exactly. Now let’s invade, what, Belgium or Egypt or something. [CNN]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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63 comments

  1. grendel

    “Kanye” sounds enough like “Kenya”, plus he’s black and they keep winning our track and field medals… Let’s Roll!

  2. Sussemilch

    Thank you Kayne for keenly spotting that terrorist who was scouting the airport with his camera. We owe you a 9/11 thanks for protecting our freedoms from dangerous Al Queda spies!

  3. Cogito Ergo Bibo

    Woo hoo! Sorry. I was one of those people who actually stayed up all night to see Kanye at Bonnaroo. Kanye hates hippies. And friends of hippies to whom it was insisted this would be the COOLEST way to see a bunch of bands and eat a lot of peanut butter sandwiches and remember fondly the days of indoor plumbing and actual showers experienced only half a week ago.

    Not that I’m bitter or anything.

  4. KevoTron

    [re=92670]Serolf Divad[/re]: I wish you could still post pictures too. You’re the Photoshop fucking master.

    Good stuff.

  5. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    At least in a few years under a Palin administration, everyone would be packing heat and they could have settled this as real men.

  6. Texan Bulldoggette

    Well, hopefully Kanye will be out of the slammer in time to make his famous declaration on a telethon for Hurricane Ike victims (which is gonna mess up Houston — although us Austinites wouldn’t really miss Houston– & most surrounding areas this Saturday).

  7. AngryBlakGuy

    [re=92705]magic titty[/re]: …damn it! You just gave me a Stacy Dash flash back, escuse me I need to use the restroom now!!!

  8. 2druk2phluq

    I immediately thought they had captured renegade thinker Nas, until 1 second later I saw Kanye West on the banner. Oh, noes. Kanye may have been planning to pay for cosmetic surgery for everyone on the plane, to be performed by a doctor passing himself off as reputable.
    First his mom, then the vehicular homicide charge, and now this. Kanye’s having a bad fucking year.

    “Vehicular manslaughter was the case that they gave me,
    Oh, and vandalism too.”

  9. Botswana Meat Commission FC

    If I were rich, famous and couldn’t be fired for getting arrested, I would get immense pleasure out of doing this. Honestly, what could be more fun than smashing the cameras of the most annoying leaches on the planet?

  10. Miller

    Why can’t the media understand that Kanye is a shy, humble, man who hates self-promotion, self-aggrandizing, and most certainly doesn’t want attention in video or photographic form?

    Or maybe a camera killed his mother or something. He was justified breaking it.

    http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

  11. JadedDIssonance

    [re=92711]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I hope he has some words of love and encouragement for CHI-City after we get hit by Ike’s Remnants that float up the Mississippi.

    NOT REFUGEES, WEATHER PATTERNS YOU RACIST BASTARDS!

  12. azw88

    Hey, Kanye was just acting on the best interests of all Americans. He saw that some ass-clown was carrying a CANON and he did his best to stop the evil-doer before he shot up the airport.

  13. jagorev

    I don’t have anything to contribute to this story, so let’s just imagine I posted something involving genitals, minors, and anal rape.

  14. CivicHoliday

    oh noes, ya’ll, did you see the latest admin comments-off thread? we’ve been too hard on Snowbilly, perhaps? sorry, wonkette overlords – some of us may get carried away with use of the c-word or whatever, but I honestly think it is just because we’re so angry at the political sphere right now that we’ve experienced total brain shutdown.

    personally, I’m so frustrated these days, I’m tempted to bore out my eyes and eardrums with a spork, just to be done with the madness once and for all.

  15. Godless Liberal *

    Kanye West doesn’t care about picture-taking people.

    Actually, I don’t either. Sounds like this was a victimless crime.

  16. Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=92738]InsidiousTuna[/re]: Oh sorry about that. If their home gets wiped out, then they can move. Actually, Houstonians are great–just the city itself that kind of sucks.

  17. Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=92726]JadedDIssonance[/re]: Well Hopey & Oprah wouldn’t let you guys suffer too much. Right??

  18. Gopherit v2.0

    [re=92743]CivicHoliday[/re]: Now, now. We’re like snarky Eloi here. When the Morlocks come, we’re just happy we were left to
    snark for another day.

  19. 4tehlulz

    [re=92706]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Except Kanye, because blacks won’t be allowed to own guns in the Palin administration.

  20. Sean O

    (If this posts, I’m not banned, which means I’m either not offensive enough, or slightly above replacement-level funny)

    I’ll never forgive the Grammys for giving Kanye an award. I thought that he’d keep doing larger and larger spectacles at the largely horrendous event each year until they had no choice but to give something to him.

    My idea for the ’06 Grammys was for Kanye to create a 60′ tall robotic George Bush head vomiting bilious Katrina water onto a bunch of poor black people on the stage, while trying to smash them with his robot fury hand. Then Kanye comes along and somehow destroys the Bush Head (giant flamethrower?) as he repels in across the arena and saves the poor black people. Then they dance and sing.

    Grammys ruin everything.

  21. Sean O

    Oh, and Mike Myers is standing behind the stage with that same deer-in-the-headlights look he had during the katrina fundraiser. sigh.

  22. KevoTron

    [re=92743]CivicHoliday[/re]: agreed. My alcoholism is spiraling out of control with this election. This whole thing has been like a massive coke binge where you start out a little drunk, do some blow and feel awesome, run out of blow and hate everyone in the room for doing more than you, get more blow and think about having sex with everyone in the room, run out again and crash, wake up angry.

    Not that I’ve ever done that or anything.

    I am gonna be one raving fucking lunatic on November 5 if Hopey fucks this up.

    I swear I’ll be out for blood.

  23. CivicHoliday

    [re=92752]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Good job. You broke me out of a fit of anxiety about the state of the world by forcing me to go look something up on Wikipedia. So, cattle are we? Being fed upon by our underworld distant cousins? If that’s representative of something I don’t think I get it.

  24. Godless Liberal *

    [re=92759]4tehlulz[/re]: Sure they will, they will just have to pray that God makes them white first.

  25. Gopherit v2.0

    [re=92768]CivicHoliday[/re]: Not my best analogy, I’ll grant you, but I sometimes see us as the commodity that keeps our Wonkette alive, at least indirectly. Occasionally, some of us are “harvested” and are no longer spoken of again. Don’t go poking around too much in the caves, little Eloi. Just be happy you weren’t among the chosen.

  26. KevoTron

    [re=92777]tunamelt[/re]: Apparently a bunch of young females were anally raped. I was not present and have a firm alibi.

  27. NoWireHangers

    [re=92777]tunamelt[/re]: Shorts posted some crazy comment about assaulting Palin. Then I see the admin post on banning. Now I can’t find that comment. Putting the evidence together suggests Shorts was banned. But who else, and what did they say…

  28. jagorev

    [re=92777]tunamelt[/re]: It was all a silly misunderstanding. Turns out someone was posting how they’d really like to be Palin’s daughter’s analyst/therapist.

  29. georgia_peach

    [re=92680]PoliticalGraffiti[/re]: Sure George Bush cares about black people…he cares about arresting them before they commit 9/11 Part II: 9/11-er.

    [re=92787]4tehlulz[/re]: Also known as “Democrat-Try-Not-To-Punch-Your-Smug-Conservative-Coworkers Day”

  30. tunamelt

    [re=92799]NoWireHangers[/re]: It’s always shorts getting banned. First as pants, now as shorts, next he will turn up as skirts.

  31. TGY

    Ohh, he broke a Pizzerazzi’s camera. Thank God Liz uses a Barbie-cam. Y’all better have that insured, though.

  32. ManchuCandidate

    “The tree of snark must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of commenters and crazees. It is it’s natural manure.”

  33. Gopherit v2.0

    [re=92828]tunamelt[/re]: I hope so. He gets rambunctious at times, but I like him. I guess we’ll see how good the ban hammer is.
    Kulotskulotskulots perhaps?

  34. d4g33z

    Ha! You can’t do that shiz in an AIRPORT, on 911 day, Kayne! He was obviously super high. Luckily he’s rich, so he’ll just get off with a light waterboarding.

  35. tunamelt

    [re=92837]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: He just told me on Facebook that he is permabanned. Excuse me, I have to go light a candle under a pair of shorts.

  36. azw88

    [re=92763]KevoTron[/re]:
    “My alcoholism is spiraling out of control with this election. This whole thing has been like a massive coke binge where you start out a little drunk, do some blow and feel awesome, run out of blow and hate everyone in the room for doing more than you, get more blow and think about having sex with everyone in the room, run out again and crash, wake up angry.”

    This is not the page for posting your resumes to work in the Dept of Interior.

Comments are closed.