TERRORISTS  12:54 pm September 11, 2008

Fancy Liberal Rapper Caught Planning New 9/11 Thing

by Jim Newell

Oh dear, it looks like those liberal celebrities are insulting George W. Bush’s heroism by plotting amateurish “copycat crimes” against Freedom. Why else would self-loathing college rapper Kanye West be arrested at the airport, on 9/11? Exactly. Now let’s invade, what, Belgium or Egypt or something. [CNN]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 63 comments }

shortsshortsshorts September 11, 2008 at 12:59 pm

Okey dokey now. I am as confused as an Alaskan as to the MORAL RELEVANCE of this post.

JadedDIssonance September 11, 2008 at 12:59 pm

$10,000 camera bomb.

&

Flashing Lights…

cal September 11, 2008 at 1:00 pm

Terrorism Threat Level NUCLEAR RED!

Serolf Divad September 11, 2008 at 1:01 pm

Sigh, I wish I could still post pictures. Anyway Merry 911, Wonketters!

Canmon (the Inadequate) September 11, 2008 at 1:02 pm

Kanye West doesn’t care about $10,000 camaeras.

sezme September 11, 2008 at 1:02 pm

Kanye West hates white people (with cameras).

grendel September 11, 2008 at 1:03 pm

“Kanye” sounds enough like “Kenya”, plus he’s black and they keep winning our track and field medals… Let’s Roll!

Sussemilch September 11, 2008 at 1:03 pm

Thank you Kayne for keenly spotting that terrorist who was scouting the airport with his camera. We owe you a 9/11 thanks for protecting our freedoms from dangerous Al Queda spies!

PoliticalGraffiti September 11, 2008 at 1:05 pm

maybe its because george bush doesnt care about black people

soytrucknutz September 11, 2008 at 1:05 pm

If this photographer insults me again I will be assaulting him….

Cogito Ergo Bibo September 11, 2008 at 1:09 pm

Woo hoo! Sorry. I was one of those people who actually stayed up all night to see Kanye at Bonnaroo. Kanye hates hippies. And friends of hippies to whom it was insisted this would be the COOLEST way to see a bunch of bands and eat a lot of peanut butter sandwiches and remember fondly the days of indoor plumbing and actual showers experienced only half a week ago.

Not that I’m bitter or anything.

KevoTron September 11, 2008 at 1:10 pm

[re=92670]Serolf Divad[/re]: I wish you could still post pictures too. You’re the Photoshop fucking master.

Good stuff.

AngryBlakGuy September 11, 2008 at 1:12 pm

…Anagrams for Kanye West = Yes We Kant!

StrangelyBrown September 11, 2008 at 1:13 pm

[re=92691]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: In Kanye’s defense, everybody hates hippies.

magic titty September 11, 2008 at 1:15 pm

Is this where he shot the “All Falls Down” video?
Coincidence….not likely..

Lionel Hutz Esq. September 11, 2008 at 1:15 pm

At least in a few years under a Palin administration, everyone would be packing heat and they could have settled this as real men.

Cogito Ergo Bibo September 11, 2008 at 1:16 pm

[re=92701]StrangelyBrown[/re]: Try spending a weekend in captivity with them.

Texan Bulldoggette September 11, 2008 at 1:18 pm

Well, hopefully Kanye will be out of the slammer in time to make his famous declaration on a telethon for Hurricane Ike victims (which is gonna mess up Houston — although us Austinites wouldn’t really miss Houston– & most surrounding areas this Saturday).

Lionel Hutz Esq. September 11, 2008 at 1:19 pm

[re=92670]Serolf Divad[/re]: Ah, they didn’t forget!

AngryBlakGuy September 11, 2008 at 1:20 pm

[re=92705]magic titty[/re]: …damn it! You just gave me a Stacy Dash flash back, escuse me I need to use the restroom now!!!

2druk2phluq September 11, 2008 at 1:21 pm

I immediately thought they had captured renegade thinker Nas, until 1 second later I saw Kanye West on the banner. Oh, noes. Kanye may have been planning to pay for cosmetic surgery for everyone on the plane, to be performed by a doctor passing himself off as reputable.
First his mom, then the vehicular homicide charge, and now this. Kanye’s having a bad fucking year.

“Vehicular manslaughter was the case that they gave me,
Oh, and vandalism too.”

Botswana Meat Commission FC September 11, 2008 at 1:22 pm

If I were rich, famous and couldn’t be fired for getting arrested, I would get immense pleasure out of doing this. Honestly, what could be more fun than smashing the cameras of the most annoying leaches on the planet?

Miller September 11, 2008 at 1:22 pm

Why can’t the media understand that Kanye is a shy, humble, man who hates self-promotion, self-aggrandizing, and most certainly doesn’t want attention in video or photographic form?

Or maybe a camera killed his mother or something. He was justified breaking it.

http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

JadedDIssonance September 11, 2008 at 1:24 pm

[re=92711]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I hope he has some words of love and encouragement for CHI-City after we get hit by Ike’s Remnants that float up the Mississippi.

NOT REFUGEES, WEATHER PATTERNS YOU RACIST BASTARDS!

columnv September 11, 2008 at 1:32 pm

K West Hates *insert wit*.

InsidiousTuna September 11, 2008 at 1:33 pm

[re=92711]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I’ll miss Houston. My parents live there and shit.

azw88 September 11, 2008 at 1:34 pm

Hey, Kanye was just acting on the best interests of all Americans. He saw that some ass-clown was carrying a CANON and he did his best to stop the evil-doer before he shot up the airport.

jagorev September 11, 2008 at 1:36 pm

I don’t have anything to contribute to this story, so let’s just imagine I posted something involving genitals, minors, and anal rape.

CivicHoliday September 11, 2008 at 1:37 pm

oh noes, ya’ll, did you see the latest admin comments-off thread? we’ve been too hard on Snowbilly, perhaps? sorry, wonkette overlords – some of us may get carried away with use of the c-word or whatever, but I honestly think it is just because we’re so angry at the political sphere right now that we’ve experienced total brain shutdown.

personally, I’m so frustrated these days, I’m tempted to bore out my eyes and eardrums with a spork, just to be done with the madness once and for all.

shortsshortsshorts September 11, 2008 at 1:37 pm

I will be nice forever. I promises.

Tawmn September 11, 2008 at 1:38 pm

Kanye West is a bitter?

Godless Liberal * September 11, 2008 at 1:39 pm

Kanye West doesn’t care about picture-taking people.

Actually, I don’t either. Sounds like this was a victimless crime.

NoWireHangers September 11, 2008 at 1:40 pm

Jim, did you guys ban Shorts? Details! Names! What’s going on?

Texan Bulldoggette September 11, 2008 at 1:41 pm

[re=92738]InsidiousTuna[/re]: Oh sorry about that. If their home gets wiped out, then they can move. Actually, Houstonians are great–just the city itself that kind of sucks.

Cogito Ergo Bibo September 11, 2008 at 1:41 pm

[re=92741]jagorev[/re]: Cretin.

Texan Bulldoggette September 11, 2008 at 1:42 pm

[re=92726]JadedDIssonance[/re]: Well Hopey & Oprah wouldn’t let you guys suffer too much. Right??

Gopherit v2.0 September 11, 2008 at 1:42 pm

[re=92743]CivicHoliday[/re]: Now, now. We’re like snarky Eloi here. When the Morlocks come, we’re just happy we were left to
snark for another day.

4tehlulz September 11, 2008 at 1:46 pm

[re=92706]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Except Kanye, because blacks won’t be allowed to own guns in the Palin administration.

Sean O September 11, 2008 at 1:47 pm

(If this posts, I’m not banned, which means I’m either not offensive enough, or slightly above replacement-level funny)

I’ll never forgive the Grammys for giving Kanye an award. I thought that he’d keep doing larger and larger spectacles at the largely horrendous event each year until they had no choice but to give something to him.

My idea for the ’06 Grammys was for Kanye to create a 60′ tall robotic George Bush head vomiting bilious Katrina water onto a bunch of poor black people on the stage, while trying to smash them with his robot fury hand. Then Kanye comes along and somehow destroys the Bush Head (giant flamethrower?) as he repels in across the arena and saves the poor black people. Then they dance and sing.

Grammys ruin everything.

Sean O September 11, 2008 at 1:47 pm

Oh, and Mike Myers is standing behind the stage with that same deer-in-the-headlights look he had during the katrina fundraiser. sigh.

KevoTron September 11, 2008 at 1:47 pm

[re=92743]CivicHoliday[/re]: agreed. My alcoholism is spiraling out of control with this election. This whole thing has been like a massive coke binge where you start out a little drunk, do some blow and feel awesome, run out of blow and hate everyone in the room for doing more than you, get more blow and think about having sex with everyone in the room, run out again and crash, wake up angry.

Not that I’ve ever done that or anything.

I am gonna be one raving fucking lunatic on November 5 if Hopey fucks this up.

I swear I’ll be out for blood.

CivicHoliday September 11, 2008 at 1:50 pm

[re=92752]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Good job. You broke me out of a fit of anxiety about the state of the world by forcing me to go look something up on Wikipedia. So, cattle are we? Being fed upon by our underworld distant cousins? If that’s representative of something I don’t think I get it.

Godless Liberal * September 11, 2008 at 1:51 pm

[re=92759]4tehlulz[/re]: Sure they will, they will just have to pray that God makes them white first.

NoWireHangers September 11, 2008 at 1:53 pm

[re=92763]KevoTron[/re]: Wait, how do you know what I did last weekend?

tunamelt September 11, 2008 at 1:55 pm

[re=92741]jagorev[/re]: What the hell did I miss while I was actually working?

4tehlulz September 11, 2008 at 1:59 pm

[re=92777]tunamelt[/re]: Nothing. It’s still Republican Christmas.

Gopherit v2.0 September 11, 2008 at 2:00 pm

[re=92768]CivicHoliday[/re]: Not my best analogy, I’ll grant you, but I sometimes see us as the commodity that keeps our Wonkette alive, at least indirectly. Occasionally, some of us are “harvested” and are no longer spoken of again. Don’t go poking around too much in the caves, little Eloi. Just be happy you weren’t among the chosen.

KevoTron September 11, 2008 at 2:00 pm

[re=92777]tunamelt[/re]: Apparently a bunch of young females were anally raped. I was not present and have a firm alibi.

ladymacbeth September 11, 2008 at 2:02 pm

LAX makes me want to smash things too.

NoWireHangers September 11, 2008 at 2:02 pm

[re=92777]tunamelt[/re]: Shorts posted some crazy comment about assaulting Palin. Then I see the admin post on banning. Now I can’t find that comment. Putting the evidence together suggests Shorts was banned. But who else, and what did they say…

jagorev September 11, 2008 at 2:06 pm

[re=92777]tunamelt[/re]: It was all a silly misunderstanding. Turns out someone was posting how they’d really like to be Palin’s daughter’s analyst/therapist.

georgia_peach September 11, 2008 at 2:08 pm

[re=92680]PoliticalGraffiti[/re]: Sure George Bush cares about black people…he cares about arresting them before they commit 9/11 Part II: 9/11-er.

[re=92787]4tehlulz[/re]: Also known as “Democrat-Try-Not-To-Punch-Your-Smug-Conservative-Coworkers Day”

tunamelt September 11, 2008 at 2:14 pm

[re=92799]NoWireHangers[/re]: It’s always shorts getting banned. First as pants, now as shorts, next he will turn up as skirts.

TGY September 11, 2008 at 2:15 pm

Ohh, he broke a Pizzerazzi’s camera. Thank God Liz uses a Barbie-cam. Y’all better have that insured, though.

tunamelt September 11, 2008 at 2:15 pm

[re=92813]jagorev[/re]: [re=92790]KevoTron[/re]: [re=92787]4tehlulz[/re]: Thanks.

ManchuCandidate September 11, 2008 at 2:16 pm

“The tree of snark must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of commenters and crazees. It is it’s natural manure.”

Gopherit v2.0 September 11, 2008 at 2:16 pm

[re=92828]tunamelt[/re]: I hope so. He gets rambunctious at times, but I like him. I guess we’ll see how good the ban hammer is.
Kulotskulotskulots perhaps?

TGY September 11, 2008 at 2:16 pm

[re=92828]tunamelt[/re]: Maybe he should be SporksSporksSporks. Maybe I should seize that nick first. Hm.

Gopherit v2.0 September 11, 2008 at 2:17 pm

[re=92831]TGY[/re]: If he’d broken Liz’s Polaroid, there would be blood.

shortsshortsshorts September 11, 2008 at 2:21 pm

I love you Wonkette. Sorry for my transgressions.

d4g33z September 11, 2008 at 2:24 pm

Ha! You can’t do that shiz in an AIRPORT, on 911 day, Kayne! He was obviously super high. Luckily he’s rich, so he’ll just get off with a light waterboarding.

tunamelt September 11, 2008 at 2:33 pm

[re=92837]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: He just told me on Facebook that he is permabanned. Excuse me, I have to go light a candle under a pair of shorts.

azw88 September 11, 2008 at 5:29 pm

[re=92763]KevoTron[/re]:
“My alcoholism is spiraling out of control with this election. This whole thing has been like a massive coke binge where you start out a little drunk, do some blow and feel awesome, run out of blow and hate everyone in the room for doing more than you, get more blow and think about having sex with everyone in the room, run out again and crash, wake up angry.”

This is not the page for posting your resumes to work in the Dept of Interior.

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