Wonkette
After a brief stint as arm candy for America’s most exciting celebrity veep candidate, John McCain went back to being sad old WALNUTS! yesterday when he had to attend a public event all by himself. Of course it went disastrously, because nobody likes John McCain — not even his supporters! Ugh, how embarrassing.
Apparently McCain met for lunch with some women at a Philadelphia diner, and then he went up to a podium to give a speech, whereupon people started chanting “Obama.” And so nobody could hear him, so his supporters helpfully began chanting “JAMMAKAIN,” and then really literally nobody could hear him. So he just gave up.
McCain finds it tough without Palin [Reuters]
He keeps his pie hole stuffed with dogs he can’t answer any questions.
Go ahead and mock, but once he sacrifices Trig, no one will question his powers.
I’ve wondered how long it will take Walnuts to get really pissed off that Palin is more popular. And how long will it take teh Barracuda to start undermining his authority? She is a political shark, to be sure.
Ha, what a loser.
Unfortunately, this means that the Democrat argument of “Palin was a bad choice for VP because she is inexperienced and WALNUTS! will be dead” won’t work because that is exactly what the Republicans want: John McCain dead and 4 more years of amazingly incompetent governance.
Aww.
They oughta just lock McCain deep underground with “unspecified illnesses” and let Sarah take the ticket.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: Can we get a photoshop of WALNUTS! eating Trig instead of that hot dog?
…he is like Scottie Pippen without Michael Jordan, but 10 times worse!
…and his polls nose dive in 5…4…3…2…
AngryBlakGuy: And if you want to know how bad that is, take a look at this commercial Scottie did in 1991: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVmSm3FVaFQ
JAMMAKAIN
V good Sara.
this is what happens when you let the pig out without his lipstick.
StripesAndPlaids:
One week.
They will be as stable as duos past like:
Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis
Shields and Yarnell
The Captain and Teniell
Sonny and Cher
Lee Majors and Farah Fawcett
Stewie Griffin and Oliva
This mean, dear pathetic nation, that if McCain wins, it isn’t actually McCain winning, it is a bunch of stupid fucks voting for a sexy librarian so they can watch her on the teevee talking about how she’s going to invade Russia, kill all the wolves in Yellowstone, and make sure all rape victims give birth the healthy happy babies that they will then resent for the rest of their lives. Yay America! USA! USA! USA!
DS from those comments is my new hero:
“Today in America the wealthiest 1% owns more than everyone in the bottom 95% combined. Income inequality is at its greatest level since the 1920s - right before the great depression. Though the US has continued to make big gains in productivity over the last decade, nearly all of the benefit of those gains has gone to the wealthy, not the workers. American CEOs earned 411 times as much as average workers in 2005, up from 107 times in 1990. In the economic expansion of 2002-2006, the top 1% captured nearly three quarters of income growth.
http://elsa.berkeley.edu/~saez/saez-USto pincomes-2006prel.pdf
This condition is not an accident, but is instead the deliberate goal of Republican economic policy. The rich write the rules! McCain’s proposals will accelerate this trend further by using a tried and true method - fill the campaign dialogue with talk about social issues, personal stories, vague statements (”tax cuts”), and the trickle-down myth, and hope that middle and lower income voters do not read the details. It worked twice with Bush. While they talk about gay marriage to your face, they are literally picking your pocket from behind - systematically redistributing wealth from poor to rich. And here’s the kicker - they don’t think there is anything wrong with the situation! And if you vote for McCain, you are again telling them that you don’t think there is anything wrong with the situation either! The high unemployment level, housing crisis, credit crunch, lower value of the dollar, high gas prices, and increasing national debt are all related to these failed policies. Standards of living in the US have continued to rise only because in most families both people work, and people work longer hours and more days per year (all for lower benefits). Something has to give…
These are the proposed tax plans for the two candidates. You can see that McCain intends to further reduce the tax burden of the wealthiest Americans at the expense of the middle and lower income families. Obama’s plan increases taxes on the wealthy, especially that top 1%, to the benefit of working americans - a first step in reversing the rich-get-richer trend and toward re-building a real middle class. In fact, Obama has offered to actually raise his own taxes for the benefit of the country as a whole. Where are you in this table?
……………… MCCAIN …………. OBAMA
Income ……. Avg tax bill ……. Avg. tax bill
Over $2.9M …. -$269,364 (-4.4%)… +$701,885 (+11.5%)
$603K and up…. -$45,361 (-3.4%)… +$115,974 (+8.7%)
$227K-$603K…… -$7,871 (-3.1%)…….. +$12 (+0.0%)
$161K-$227K…… -$4,380 (-3.0%)….. -$2,789 (-1.9%)
$112K-$161K…… -$2,614 (-2.5%)….. -$2,204 (-2.1%)
$66K-$112K …… -$1,009 (-1.4%)….. -$1,290 (-1.8%)
$38K-$66K …….. -$319 (-0.7%)….. -$1,042 (-2.4%)
$19K-$38K …….. -$113 (-0.5%)……. -$892 (-3.6%)
Under $19K ……… -$19 (-0.2%)……. -$567 (-5.5%)
http://money.cnn.com/2008/06/11/news/eco nomy/candidates_taxproposals_tpc/?postve rsion=2008061113
- Posted by DS “
“…so his supporters helpfully began chanting “JAMMAKAIN,” ”
Why were Walnuts’ fans chanting ‘Jamaican’? Did they do it with the right accent? If so, that will so sew up the islander vote.
At some point, it’s going to dawn on him that if he becomes president, it will be on a woman’s coattails. He will then realize that all of those years sponging from the Cuntttollop weren’t for nothing.
Gopherit v2.0: I’m thinking this ends with a murder suicide
grendel:
Stop confusing people with your “facts”!
Walnutz needs to move his campaign HQ to Alaska.
Go on Johnny, shoot a caribou or two. It»ll work wonders for you.
Jeebus Cristos, JSM does not even know one is supposed to eat a CHEESESTEAK when on the stump in Philly, not a freakin’ hotdog! On a completely unMc but Philly related note, GO Quakers!
The “diner” is a glorified food court spot in Reading Market.
http://www.readingterminalmarket.org/merchants/view/57
That looks like a delicious baby sandwich.
Gopherit v2.0: This is the ‘Merican electorate we’re talking about. They need style, not substance.
So, is it official that the Cindy McCain magic is kaput?
CivicHoliday: A sexy book-burning librarian.
Someone get this old man a knife and fork so he can eat like a regular, small town, multi-mansion owning Amurican!!
…so, how long before WALNUTS! starts dropping rumors that Sarah Palin “might” be at his rallies? You know, kinda like those club flyers that always say: “Special INVITED guest: {fill in superstar music artist}”, and then they never show up?
WhatTheHeck: Somehow I think a mysterious hunting accident is how this relationship ends.
JAMMAKAIN me crazy.
trondant: I always prefer my librarians with a match in one hand and a copy of Judy Blume’s forever in the other.
Gopherit v2.0: Seriously. My lady-brain can’t handle it.
grendel: Actually, there was a really good NYT article about how the success of the GOP actually spells its ruin. Their policies widen the gap between the haves and have nots, with little in between. Know who vote Dem in droves? The haves and have nots. Probably not the super rich, but basically those who have enough to be able to actually afford to consider social issues, but who still remember where they came from. The have nots? Barry is their only hope. http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/07/magazine/07Inequality-t.html?scp=3&sq=+republicans%20+%22four%20miles%22&st=cse
grendel: Cindy & Sarah conspire to murder Jammakain. It will involve a nightmarish menage a trois, a triple dose of boner pills & a massive heart attack.
Palin/Hensley 2012!
“You can’t teach an old dog new tricks” C’mon Barry! Say it!
So who’s the guy who decided the Gallery at Market East is the best place for a McCain event? It’s the hub of mass transit in Center City Philly. I bet a random sampling of people walking by would reveal about 95% of voters there for Obama.
wiNoWireHangers: I thought about this yesterday. Say McCain wins and drops dead on November 6. Does that mean that Palin spends the next 4 years finishing out McCain’s term and is still elligble for another 8 years on top of that?
Weeping Jesus: Wasn’t magic. It was cocaine. She awaits a re-up.
Isn’t WALNUTS like the most ineffective veep candidate ever? I want to hear more about Pressdent Caribou Barbie.
Seems he jumped from beneath the skirts a tad too early. Minus the right-wing extremism, he’s just another leaning libtard pansy.
ManchuCandidate: And now, the new group: Garfunkel, Messina, Oats, Lisa & McCain!
Texan Bulldoggette: And there will be a whole lot fewer people “Jamaican Love.”
tunamelt: Dude, I loved that book! I named my first car, a red convertible, “Ralph.” Which means nothing unless you actually read the book. Never mind.
My friends, “looks LIKE?”
McCain=Bush, Bush=McCain
grendel: Other things Obama is no longer allowed to say because Palin is a pit bull with lipstick:
“That dog won’t hunt.”
“skating on thin ice”
Oh Wally! Showing off yer fave party trick again?
He’s actually removing that fully formed and undamaged hot-dog from his mouth.
There are three more of them in those incredibly pliable cheeks of his.
And a couple of baby arms, too.
He’s not eating babies?
Gopherit v2.0: Ya, I got three sentences into it before my brain told me to stop, or it would make the pain come back.
Palin Body Armor:
Cybernetic body armor created from Palin’s cells. Molded from the softest biofibers. Fully integrated pleasure units contained in the lower chakra regions. All vocal and free will functions have been gleaned from the DNA, so your body armor will never speak or act on its own. When you put it on, it feels just like slipping your whole body into the S.P.
And WALNUTS! forgot his at home?
Must be low on Viagara.
Cape Clod: Sweet bloody jizm. NO!
No!
No!
Jammakain Jammakain!
obfuscator: And a very soggy corpse!
Cogito Ergo Bibo: I love it when you talk class warfare, baby . . . .
Monkey: BAM!
Cape Clod: US Constitution, 22nd amendment: No person shall be elected to the office of the President more than twice, and no person who hs held the office of President, or acted as President, for more than two years of a term to which some other person was elected President shall be elected to the office of the President more than once.
Whew.
They have already said that they will continue to campaign together for the forseeable future.
I still see a train wreck coming.
shortsshortsshorts: Ol’ Man River can’t do anything without Moose Knuckle by his side, can he?
grendel: Tom Franks–is that you?
I’ll say this about WALNUTS! Dude can handle a weiner.
Cape Clod: You are a terrorist and hate America
Cape Clod: McCain drops dead, Palin’s sworn in… then Speaker Pelosi enlists Elite Code Pink Ninjas to cut the the brake cables on Snow Machine One (”Pink Ops”?). Speaker Pelosi is sworn in, nominates Barry for Vice Prez, then resigns.
Gopherit v2.0: Right–as Colbert says, facts have a leftist bias.
Cogito Ergo Bibo:
Thanks for the clarification - but I thought we sent our Constitution to Iraq since we’re not using it anymore.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: You really are the glue that holds our fragile society together.Gopherit v2.0: It’s really standard stuff…just looks big.
Call me stormy: Huh? Obama won the Lipstick Wars.. he’s free to metaphor and platitude away to his heart’s content
MoodProcessor: We did. I’m a terrorist, silly!
Cape Clod: Nope. If you serve out over two years of a term it counts as a full term. Darn near 99% sure of that.
obfuscator:
“McCain drops dead, Palin’s sworn in… then Speaker Pelosi enlists Elite Code Pink Ninjas to cut the the brake cables on Snow Machine One (”Pink Ops”?). Speaker Pelosi is sworn in, nominates Barry for Vice Prez, then resigns.”
Resigns? Not on your life. Nancy will STAY president, with a San Francisco polished veneer and a tough Baltimore backbone.
“Deep Throat” for President.
TJBeck: A visitor to Philly, or a native? ‘Cause you’d have to know where the Gallery is (soon to be a Foxwoods btw) to know it’s a Septa spot; the picture doesn’t do it justice.
Republicans were against celebrities, before they were for them.
Photo caption:
“Friends, my captors taught me to relax my throat muscles… they’d say “Take it all, filthy Yankee Joe America!’… those were good times, friends.”
Cape Clod: If the winning presidential candidate dies before being sworn in, it is not automatic that the winning vice-presidential candidate will be confirmed by the electoral college. Jeff Greenfield wrote a novel based on that scenario but I haven’t bothered to read it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_People%27s_Choice_(novel)
Sometimes it’s good to be a Philadelphian. The Down Home Diner, by the by, is actually a lovely spot for breakfast, and Reading Terminal is a bit more than a food court. I hope that the good name of the Down Home Diner isn’t sullied by McCain’s visit.
Ironically, the diner is known for it’s pork.
I think it’s a pride sandwich. Chew carefully Senator.
Dude, that’s very clearly half a hoagie, not a hot dog.
I wonder if at some point it will hurt McCain’s chances that he’s clearly still not at all popular, it’s just his running mate who is
WhatTheHeck: Can he hold a rifle?
Canmon (the Inadequate): OMG. That actually sounds correct. Basically, the electorial college doesn’t even have to elect the president determined by the vote, though. Electors are chosen because they can generally be trusted to vote for the guy whose votes they agreed to represent. Party operatives. People on the take from that party who would be losing a free lunch or repairs to that house in Alaska. When you get down to it, the electoral college sucks. But if that’s the trick that gets Hopey elected, yay electoral college!
Monkey: we have a WINNER!
He should have eaten that sandwich up in front of them. Everyone would have stopped chanting long enough to gaze at the krauty, oniony, brown mustardy, high elbowed horror.
McNOMNOMNOM!
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Texan Bulldoggette: They were shouting Jamaican because they wanted some of that good ol’ Jamaican Ganga that Palin’s son had to leave behind prior to his trip to play soldier…
obfuscator: Photo caption:
“Friends, my captors taught me to relax my throat muscles… they’d say “Take it all, filthy Yankee Joe America!’… those were good times, friends.”
Thanks, asshole. I just spilt bong water all over my laptop.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: which means she could only be elected to 1 term on her own if your horrible scenario came to pass. You’re gonna give me nightmares!
grendel: DS’s comment = excellent. Oh and it’s loaded with facts. Verifiable, empirically verifiable ones. Now there’s a concept we should tell the Repubs about!
TJBeck: It’s a good question, but when Nutter was running for mayor, I saw him daily greeting us at 30th street; he met every R5 train as it came in. I couldn’t figure out his genius plan since we were all boring white people from the suburbs who couldn’t vote in the city, but hey, it got him elected! Clearly something about it worked…maybe.
capitol hillbilly: They only like celebrities with guns and/or on steroids (Heston, Ahnuld). Methinks the Snowbilly Queen might be both.
Cape Clod: This gives the Electors (who don’t until January) in the college the opportunity to go “LOL NO” to Palin and elect Ron Paul.
grendel: Just wish the headings were clearer on the table when this makes the rounds. Where it says Average Tax Bill, it should read Average Tax Reduction, or something along those lines. As written, it could be confusing to exactly the target audience who most needs to understand the message.
Since announcing Palin as his pick, he has been content to trade in Walnuts! for Chinnuts!
ZippyDee: I’m thinkin’ they need to draw it crayon.
Geez, I can’t believe he didn’t shut everyone up by saying something like “That’s okay, I heard worse sounds when I was a POW IN VIETNAM.”
McCain’s becoming the Republicans’ very own Debby Downer.
Republicans: “Yeee-Haw, Palin!! I want to fuck her so no qualifications needed, my friends!!”
McCain: They poked me with sticks in a cage.
Republicans: Aw, dammit! Shut up McCain, you’re ruining our nut!!
Cogito Ergo Bibo: Canmon (the Inadequate): Very illuminating. It’s a bit of a moot point, though. If Marge Gunderson ever gets the Oval Office, I give us six months before we’re a Balkinized collection of regional countries based NCAA Division 1 college athletic conferences.
Huzzah, hometown folks! McCain finds out that when Philly doesn’t like a guy/team, we BOO HIS AZZ! And if you don’t get the hint, D batteries will be flyin’.
Is it homophobic to note that Jamaccain was at the “bottom” of his Naval Academy class?
Cogito Ergo Bibo: So what you’re saying is, if John McCain dies after serving just over 2 years as President, we could suffer through as many as TEN YEARS of President Palin? Whereas if he had died even the day before, we would be guaranteed no more than six years? Talk about a high-stakes game!
Iggy: I meant the diner was like a food court in the Reading Terminal Market. I’ve eaten there the food is pretty good, but the space isn’t exactly huge itself, and largely open to the (large and crowded) market.
Godot: Crap. You’re right. Time to stockpile booze. As if the mere existence of Palin hadn’t forced me to do that, already.
MoodProcessor: made me laugh out loud
ManchuCandidate: Do that to me one more time, I can never get enough of a man like youuuuuuuu ohhhhh….
grendel: YES! How about “You can put lipstick on and old dog, but you can’t make it stop sponsoring pork and turning tricks?”
haha you can your own photo/caption of who you think John McCain looks like at this hilarious site, http://www.johnmccainlookslike.com
“JAMMAKAIN” is that Jamacain? I hope so.
I went to an awesome reggie concert a few years ago where a Jamacian guy I know introduced me to the idea of “Jamacain confetti”. That’s a bunch of rizlas thrown in the air. Oh yeah…
If I were WALNUTS! I would be afraid that the fundie bitters were planning on assasinating me if I won so that Vlad the ImPalin would become President for Life.
Looks like Walnuts has an empty hotdog bun on the table. Bet after the photo he just eats the wienee in that one too. Hooray for the Atkins diet! Got to watch the ol figure now so Sarah doesn’t get a wandering eye.