that's our joe

Joe Biden Encourages Man In Wheelchair To ‘Stand Up’

Oh God Joe Biden is hilarious. He cannot go more than 45 minutes without saying something incredibly awkward. Fortunately, he is so used to making embarrassing remarks that he’s like, “Enh, well, start the clock again people!” and just moves on to the next GAFFE. His Secret Service code name is Gaffey McGaffesalot, because he makes so many gaffes, even in his dreams where he makes rude remarks to articulate wheelchair-bound Indian operators of 7/11s while plagiarizing the Constitution. [Gawker/Daily Intel/YouTube]

About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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  1. RuperttheBear

    He’s appealing to the fundamentalists. People get out of wheelchairs every week at those churches. Fuck’in drink poison, raise the dead, centrifuge uranium. THE HOLY SPIRIT, PEOPLE!

  2. Gopherit v2.0

    But he’s so classy when he does it. With Biden, you forgive a lot.

    I love Biden, but I’m wondering if there wasn’t a secondary roll of preventing an Obama assassination by picking him as VP… know, kinda like Dubya did with Cheney.

  3. jagorev

    If John McCain were in Biden’s place, he would hold a press conference complaining about how Chuck’s unpatriotic refusal to stand up is a sign of sexism.

  4. jollymonsing

    oh man. so instead of just apologizing he makes everyone else in the room do the one thing this guy can’t do.

    thats wicked smooth.

  5. jollymonsing

    “hey everyone, to cover up that awkward faux pas, l command everyone in the room to do the one thing this guy i just embarrassed cannot do.”

  6. Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star

    awww. he’s adorable.

    Man, if I were only thirty years older… I’m just sayin’ Mrs. Biden better watch herself some.

  7. DarkSynergy

    Oh God, Biden’s one punch in the wheelchair man’s forehead away from being an evangelical. Which would make him a republican. Dammit.

  8. Cathangover

    That wheelchair saved Biden’s ass, cause the dude was wearing one of those “Sarah Palin is a Cunt” shirts.

  9. ZippyDee

    I know this is horribly off topic and I have no earthy right to be here anywayz, but I just heard Palin in on a flight to Alaska as we speak! Does that mean she is about to blow another little critter named Pole, or Kodiak, or Igloo out?

  10. Rush

    c’mon Chuck, now drop and give me 20 you worthless and weak maggot. Say you love it Chuck.

    Gee Wonkers, after the election, we can tour the grounds where the Titanic sank.

  11. LittlePhatGuise

    [re=92021]jollymonsing[/re]: I was quoting the Senator.
    But if you’re into that kinky shit, this is the place for you!

  12. magic titty

    Ha! Senator Joe! What the fuck, man?

    “Hey, Stevie Wonder’s here – Stevie, look at that Obama banner over there. Oh bloody hell! I’m sorry pal, you know I love ya buddy. Everybody look at Stevie. Just look at him.”

  13. Gopherit v2.0

    [re=92049]magic titty[/re]: It’s still not as embarrassing as the time he tried to give McCain a hi-five.

  14. Rush

    [re=92049]magic titty[/re]:

    Ladies and gentlemen, John Wayne Bobbit is here. Guys, please take your junk out and show it to John Wayne….

  15. AngryBlakGuy

    …what you didn’t get to see was when Biden made these mistakes:

    -to the mute woman: “Come up here tell us your story!”

    -to the blind child: “here, catch!”

    -to the double amputee Iraq vet: “we all need to walk a day in your shoes”

    -to the guy with no arms: “Hi 5!!!”

  16. SayItWithWookies

    [re=92037]ZippyDee[/re]: As Delicious said — she’s not preggers yet, but she is making room for one more.

  17. jarsilver

    I just met Biden tonight. Every time an underage girl would come up to him, he would tell them, “Remember, no boys ’til you’re 30!”

    Then he would say “My daughter didn’t follow it but you should!” and he’d kiss their forehead and infect them with syphilis.

  18. DoctorCulturae

    Keith O on fire…. a brilliant change of the subject back to Bush Failure #1 (no Osama) and McFail’s knowledge of how to apprehend him…

  19. PoliTacky

    lol Biden, he’s a likeable version Ol’ Gil Gunderson in this clip!
    (The flustered lawyer guy on the Simpsons)

  20. j6n

    That is experience folks. Immediately call yourself an asshole and the press has nothing. Compare that to WALNUTS! repeatedly pulling the string on Caribou Barbie, “Thaaanks but nuuuu thaaanks.”

  21. trophy(forparticipation)wife

    ” I’m new pal. I really know how to put my foot in my mouth. I’ll bet you don’t have that problem. Er.”

  22. iwillsavethispatient

    [re=92091]Itsjustme[/re]: I hope not, it’d be a bit of a waste of my time, as I’m not running for President.

  23. Serolf Divad

    At the debates Biden’s going to challenge Palin to a pissing contest. Scary thing is: she’ll probably win.

  24. ky-jellydonuts

    Any politician can make this mistake. A pro like Joe catches himself before he says the next thing that comes to his mind and finally comes up with a live-mic-appropriate “God love you.” I can think of a LOT of things I’d say after I just screwed up that would have caused the more delicate among the crowd to faint.

  25. DC Spring

    [re=92105]ky-jellydonuts[/re]: Exactly, the phrase “fkn hell, I’ve just sunk the ticket” may have been reaction number one, but the instinct that talking around is a shit prospect suggests a political instinct to address a scrwe-up. This good, no? Could be change we can believe in…

    Or it means that people in wheelchairs are going to trample all over this campaign.

  26. S.Luggo

    [re=92099]Serolf Divad[/re]:
    Joe should ask her to name the seven continents. As alumna of the South Eastern Idaho College of Cosmetology (Matoon Annex), from her studies she should be able to spit them out:
    1. Alaska
    2. Canada
    3. The North Pole
    4. The whaT’S it? The other pole.
    5. New Zealand
    6. The Pacific
    7. The Santa Maria

  27. grevillea

    1. Alaska
    2. Antalaska, aka Evil America
    3. Russia
    4. Sodom & Gomorrah
    5. Eye-rackistania (including islands of Indonesia and Hawaii)
    6. Washington DC
    7. Narnia

  28. 2druk2phluq

    [re=92144]S.Luggo[/re]: Joe “Walking Mouth” B. should ask her to name the Cabinets of the Executive Orifice, and what each does (as it would apply if WALNUTS!-Failin’ were elected).
    1. Department of Alaskaculture
    2. Department of Bustess
    3. Department of Depends
    4. Department of Comers (all comers)
    5. Department of Her Interior
    6. Department of Funny Walks

    Ah, shit, I milked it into a Python theft.
    I’m out

  29. meister

    [re=92099]Serolf Divad[/re]: You are SOOOO right! Palin is completely hard core. She threw her developmentally challenged newborn under the bus right off the bat with her comment during her speech, “(our family) has ups and DOWNS just like any other.” Shit man. Tell me that is not fucking hard core. Mocking her baby. Shit.

  30. TGY

    GoJoe! GaffeJoe! GoJoeGaffe! It’s some kinda verbal judo. Gaffedo. Whatevs.

    (As an aside, the Japanese culture has developed the Art of the High Tech Toilet to such a high degree, they’ve given it a name: tushido)

  31. BobLoblawLawBlog

    God, I love him more than bacon right now. how is someone with foot-in-mouth disease not more “relatable” than a moose-eating beauty queen again?

  32. BobLoblawLawBlog

    [re=92128]S.Luggo[/re]: I thought the only thing Track would get caught smoking was pole. Showed me. Piper, yer up!

  33. regisgoat

    [re=92083]PoliTacky[/re]: Well, Ol’ Gil is supposed to be Jack Lemmon in Glengarry Glen Ross, and an earlier commentator was saying he was Steve Carrell. I’m going with Bill Murray, me. This “Stand up” thing, as well as its smooth as a baby’s butt comeback, was a real Bill Murray moment.

  34. regisgoat

    [re=92248]TGY[/re]: Oh, now I get that joke! Remember, they called it “Bushido” when Elder Bush hurled into the lap of the Prime Minister of Japan.

  35. jodyleek

    [re=92064]lilblackcorvette[/re]: I’m guessing Katie Couric didn’t much
    like the fact that they used her in the ad, and CBS probably didn’t
    like it either…she is their property after all.

Comments are closed.