Someone just sent us this comical article from an October, 2006 edition of the Anchorage Daily News — a reputable journal if ever there were! — about how Sarah Palin had a “scheduling conflict” during a gubernatorial debate with her two challengers and — instead of canceling her dumb conflict, because who cares — she tried to get her running mate to debate for her. Her two challengers wouldn’t agree to this because… just… just NO. What the hell? NO LADY NO.
And on a sorta related note, Joe Biden has announced that he will spend four days practicing for his VP debate with Michigan Gov. Jennifer Granholm acting as a stand-in for Palin, so that he can learn how to comport himself with a lady. Cute! But in vain, because when the debate happens, and soon as he utters the first word of his opening statement — probably “I” — Tucker Bounds or someone will shit out a McCain press release saying, “JOE BIDEN IS ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT HIMSELF AND THAT’S BECAUSE HE HATES VAGINAS. IF HE CARED ABOUT WOMEN AT ALL HIS FIRST WORD WOULD HAVE IN FACT BEEN ‘VAGINA.’ BARACK OBAMA HATES WOMEN WITH HIS AFRICANERY.” Then Wolf Blitzer would interview a precious 5-year-old girl and ask, “Why does Joe Biden beat up women all the time?” and somehow demand a yes-or-no answer, etc.
Stand-in for Palin rejected in debate [ADN]
Biden taps Granholm as Palin stand-in for debate [AP]
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is that a picture of giuliani in drag again?
It’d be nice if Biden called Snowbush “uppity.”
More presents from her lack of presence.
Joe now has the albatross of his statement today that Hillary was better qualified than he was to run for VP. I have not seen the debate — it’s available on C-Span — I mean watching it would be like watching a rerun of a 1995 Phillies-Cubs game — but apparently she did very well, and one of her opponents was Murkowski, a very experienced pol.
She’s allowed to do that in case she ever becomes President and has to make a tough decision, right?
Just sort of tag out like she’s one of the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling (Sally the Farmer’s Daughter comes to mind) and let Cheney take over sending the country to hell in a handbasket.
She’s got a ready excuse if she wants to bow out, considering that she always looks like she’s seven months pregnant.
[re=91923]V572625694[/re]: Ooh, “SnowBush,” nice! I made sure to capitalize in reference to our Brave Leader, lest someone with a dirty mind crawl from their Masturbatorium and call us all sexist…
[re=91929]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Best political-scandal-related pun I’ve heard all day.
“Biden taps Granholm”?
Rollin’ with Dole, I reckon.
Jesus, Jim, why didn’t give a spoiler alert?
I’m pretty sure it’ll play out damn close to what you wrote, and America will once again get a (Vice) President they’d like to have a beer with fuck.
Damnit, don’t you people know she has a family to take care of! If she spent all her time debating and governing, her kids might have grown up to be coke heads and sluts.
You just can’t make this shit up! If a novel/screenplay/fuckevenamovieoftheweek was this lame, it would have been laffed out of existence. We’ve got the knocked up daughter, the pill head son going to Iraq (and will someone please tell the b*tch it’s Err-ak, not EYE rack, and no, it’s not EYE RAN either), the poor little SN baby lugged all over the damned place, and, well, Todd.
I think I need another liter of Jack.
But, nothing would lead Billo to believe that Track was unsupervised.
Ok. I’ve live here for 12 of your American years. You’re all very nice and all. But Lipstickgate shows that you are, essentially, a bunch of dumb fucks. Not everyone of course. But on the whole, a bunch of dumb fucks. Carry on.
i guess this means she thrives in the debate format. seeing as how no matter what happens the spin will be that Biden is a mean elitist with too many facts and shit, he might as well rip her head off when they debate.
Wait, isn’t it sexist to not let her opt out of the debate? I’m so confused.
“I, Mooselini, request Hopeybama to be my second at the debate.” I mean, really. It’s not like she can pick McCain.
[re=91938]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: ha ha, the strike-through doesn’t work, but I still like my post.
[re=91944]randomsausage[/re]: Beat it, Limey! Who needs you anyway!
Um, save me a seat?
I knew that sexism was bad in the lower 48, but who knew that Alaskans were so sexist that they expected Palin to answer questions too.
[re=91947]Norbert[/re]: Only if he intends to “Shit Down Her Neck”.
“She’s going to try to make it as personal as she can. She’s going to take a lot of straight lefts and jabs at me, she’s going to try to get me to respond, she’s going to try to get me to respond in a personal way,” Biden said. . .
WTF? Is this a cage match?
Lawdy lawdy lawdy! Something has gotten into Josh Marshall! His brilliant EMBRACE IT rant on TPM made me want to cry! Or have a BLT!
[re=91943]jimh[/re]: Isn’t kinda weird that the parents were watching? EEEeeeEEwwwww….
Oh my, Chris Mathews is ripping into the republican talking head on his show right now…
[re=91956]ZippyDee[/re]: And hissuggested line for Obama is equally brilliant.
You know she’s going to have Rove transmitting to her into that Beehive updo. The hairstyle is totally why they chose her, they just needed someone programmable and posable like Dubya.
Biden taps Granholm as Palin stand-in for debate…
What, no pigs were available??
[re=91968]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: That is funny.
[re=91968]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Haven’t heard this much excitement over pigs since I first saw Deliverance!
…Gov. Jennifer Granholm? Joe, I think you are over estimating Palin! What the crazy bible lady from train had a scheduling conflict or something?!
Would it be sexist if I, a female person, asked her: Pads or Tampons? She can send someone else to answer if she’s too busy somewhere lying about something, but I really need to know if I’m going to make an informed decision in November.
I mean, really, is it any worse than ‘Us Magazine’ asking Obama: “boxers or briefs?”
[re=91975]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: …damn it, you beat me to the snarky “Gov. Jennifer Granholm” comment!
[re=91981]PoliTacky[/re]: It’s a bit of a pointless question, she believes every egg is sacred and should be fertilized and carried full-term.
[re=91981]PoliTacky[/re]: Yours is an even more important question. The plumbing in the VP residence hasn’t been the same since Cheney built his bunker.
Body double for the stars’n'stripes bikini-with-rifle-at-poolside-photo-shoot.
Stand-in for the debate.
Sister as Bristle’s surrogate mom upon discovery of pregnancy.
Is there anything this chick won’t outsource?
You know, back in the day, in ye olde country…I was a dashing young pup and once ensnared a “Yah” (the equivalent of a Vassar-educated WASP). I didn’t fancy her or anything: I just wanted to shag someone from the upper class…this was during the dying days of Scottish class warfare and it was, I thought, a captain-on-the-Titanic gesture on behalf of my people. As an Obama supporter, I kind of have those same feelings about Palin. Scary but true.
I feel better for sharing.
[re=91981]PoliTacky[/re]: True. And it would be too, too embarrassing if her answer to boxers or briefs was…well, either one. Any bets on easy, breezy, less laundry to do for a busy lying execu mom, commando?
Hardball Flash: MORON Rep. Mary Falin called her “Sarah McCain” at least 3 times…
[re=91985]Canuckledragger[/re]: Well, she’s obviously not outsourcing the sex.
[re=91990]tunamelt[/re]: I think that is still in dispute.
[re=91989]RuperttheBear[/re]: DAMMIT. I keep screwing up tags. Mea culpa. Long day at work.
“And on a sorta related note, Joe Biden has announced that he will spend four days practicing for his VP debate with Michigan Gov. Jennifer Granholm acting as a stand-in for Palin, so that he can learn how to comport himself with a lady.”
Bad choice, Joe. Granholm has a functioning brain and all.
[re=91989]RuperttheBear[/re]: I love you Americans and your amusing words for body parts. “Coochie” is a personal favourite. Along with “Schlong” for the men. Much better than Quivering Quim or John Thomas.
[re=91994]Terry[/re]: Jen agreed to wear an eyepatch, shoulder a parrot, brandish a sword, growl periodically and wear eau de Mackerel. Should work out fine.
Hey, Matthews said something smart. 20 years from now, if the country is in the toilet (as if it isn’t now – but it can be MUCH worse), are people going to look back and see that the turning point was a controversy about lipstick?
Well, if we’re going to Hell, let it be riding the Walnuts! express.
Off topic, but I love this picture.
[re=91944]randomsausage[/re]: Like we haven’t been shouting that from the rooftops since 2000!?!?
sheesh. We know that already.
[re=92002]Delicious[/re]: Well, let’s see. The ’88 election turned on the ACLU, flag burning, and scary black guys. The 2000 election turned on Al Gore supposedly claiming that he invented the internet, and the 2008 election turned on whether or not John Kerry was really shot. So, umm, we’re doomed.
This reminds me somehow of Gallagher Too.
Are we to believe that a woman who poses next to her freshly killed Caribou is upset because Obama compared her to a lipstick wearing pig?
[re=91998]randomsausage[/re]: since you’re going to go there, what do you guys have under your kilts? kielbasa? bratwurst? do tell, sugar.
[re=91932]rambone[/re]: Sally the farmer’s daughter – wow. Win.
[re=91979]ZippyDee[/re]: I actually think her Wonkette name should be “Dueling Banjoes”
How do we know that the person who has been campaigning with WALNUTS all week long is actually Palin? Once again, I call for a “tramp stamp” check!
[re=91998]randomsausage[/re]: Here’s a 29 second sample of early Bill Murray. Check out the second cut, “Confession”. click the arrow on the left. Have fun.
http://www.emusic.com/album/National-Lampoon-Comedians-National-Lampoon-That-s-Not-Funny-That-s-Sick-MP3-Download/10998025.html
[re=91944]randomsausage[/re]: I’ve been here for 72.3 of your cat years, and we were proven to be blithering fucking idiots a long time ago.
By the way I tried your country’s potassium and it SUCKED.
/in your face
“We have to take what we can get [for the gubernatorial debate] …”
http://www.interesno.dn.ua/images/stories/pricols/fotki/10_09_08/1r.jpg
[re=91983]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: In that case, if she’s had even 1 period, she’s already a murderer! Shit, we might as well put OJ in there.
[re=91984]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: lol, I’ve heard that Cheney’s “leavings” are shot out into space so that nobody on Earth can extract the DNA and find out that he’s half demon.
[re=91987]ZippyDee[/re]: I would be very disappointed if the female Ted Nugent doesn’t go commando.
Straight talk is old news. Lipstick and Pigs, now that is news, baby! J. Jonah Jameson called from The Daily Bugle. He said the American media is doing a crack up job. Next time he wants talking pigs, no, pigs that dance, no, pigs that play piano and balance your checkbook, and he wants photos. Get on it!
http://themediaelite.blogspot.com/
What is this–another day and still more Palin scandals? I still say she’ll bow out before November. Track will get caught robbing pharmacies or something…
Pigs. Lipstick. Ridiculous. It’s tragic that some old man from Arizona got out of a Hanoi prison and decided to run for president just a few days later. Then, he went and found him some Alaska woman to be his running mate, in the mold of Gerry Ferraro. NPR ran a half an hour of the “bridge to nowhere” business and the whole “pork renunciation” fable that Walnuts and the Snowbilly are peddling that ought to be turned into 30 one-minute campaign ads for Hopey “Sarah Palin, right for Alaska, wrong for America”. They need to punch McCain/Palin hard and I think they are buying into the “leave her alone” crowd. Well, to quote the good guv: “thanks but no thanks”. If she doesn’t want to run on her record, then HopeyJoe needs to so that all these K-Mart moms know what they are getting themselves into: a person who will ensure that the rest of the economy will collapse, that another terror attack will hit the US and that every other country in the world will hate the U-S-A. I’m so proud.
Thar be pirates aboot!
[re=92057]ColdCupofHope[/re]:
Answer: Even a Bangkok lady of the soiled pavements would ask to be paid in advance.
In Wasilla, not so very much. That’s the town’s Xian home schooling environment for ya. Let’s dance.
http://www.aksoul.com/.albums/album13/Wasilla_Bitches.sized.jpg
I wonder if she’s going to go into full panic mode on about Sept. 29, stock up on speed, white chocolate mochawhatevers and noodle bowls, then appear on stage Oct.2, all hysterical in her robe and slippies? Like I used to do in my graduate seminars?
So Biden is preparing for his debate with America’s hottest Governor by doing practice debates with America’s second hottest Governor? Brilliant.
[re=92101]bago[/re]: Arrgh. Polar bear cubs ahoy. Get blast harpoons aready, First Dude.
Amother life: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/archive/8/8a/20070822092756!Dykes_On_Bikes.jpg
[re=92114]S.Luggo[/re]: I’ll try again.
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Image:Dykes_On_Bikes.jpg
Sarah rides the big hog for family values.
[re=92060]KilgoreTrout_XL[/re]: Absofuckinglutely. Blithering, hysterical, surrealist, full-bore snark. The epustulation of unfunny comments was the main part of the platinum pageview spike ten days ago.
But seriously, the wonketteers are going to add value to the gatling gun of shit-slinging then the snarkitude has gotta go industrial grade. WashPo’s Millbank and Froomkin are invading our buffer states (oww! my buffer state!) and even Mozza O’Dowd is doing it. Nyah nyah copycats.
Clearly, Rove will ensure that Caribou Barbie has an accident so she can appear in a wheelchair against Biden. That will go well.
Layne, Newell, Smith deserve an award. Hows about “For Services to the Brewing Industry”?
HEY, so when are hopey / sarcasm going to bust a move against our media dominating moran overloards? seriously seriously bored with ameica now.
on a related note: i really hope i can move like mick jagger when i get to be mick jaggers age right now.
As a 25 year old male, it’s easy to miss the days when we thought the Russkies would blow us up.
[re=92102]S.Luggo[/re]: [re=92102]S.Luggo[/re]: Sweet baby Jesus! Is this why Track’s goin’ to Eye-rack? Did Momma snatch him from the clutches of these two ladies? Or, you know, clutch him from their… [Anthropological footnote: The one on the right's definitely classier, cause she can cover up her tattoo with a thong if she's having a job interview or court appearance or shit.]
56. “To Prove Sarah Palin is all in my house with disease.” How about a Palin-Mercer debate?
Honestly. The very first google image for “pig lipstick”? You can get a little more creative then that. I mean a McCain intern went all the way to page 3 to find the best wrong picture of Walter Reed.
This is so demeaning to that poor pig.
No wonder she won’t meet the press.
This is hilarious. She should have asked her opponents. I would have paid to see that.
I imagine that nanook(ie) will attempt a postponement because of …a wedding? a birth…. son shipped off… worldwide shortage of lipstick…. Moose season opening…..
Somewhat off topic, a new book mixing the homoerotic and the wild sea and river adventures of two great American authors, Huckleberry Dick, by artist Ricardo Bloch : http://storefrontwindows.blogspot.com/
I just want to say that I called the next McCain fake outrage! I was saying that fish comment about Palin’s cootchie stank was way worse yesterday!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/09/10/mccain-camp-fish-wrapped_n_125450.html
Why can’t Democrats learn to be petty? Mean? Folks may say they care about the economy, but they don’t want to hear Joe Biden talk about it, ferchrissakes.
Here, it’s easy. Repeat after me, Joe:
SARAH, YOU IGNORANT SLUT.
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