Wonkette
Here are some important new Battleground polls that you should take with a grain of salt, because they have not factored in Ron Paul’s 1/3-endorsement of Ralph Nader today. Otherwise, these are pretty good signs for Obama — after all, they were conducted Sept. 7-9, a three-day period during which Democrats caved entirely to their old friend Self-Loathing and Republicans were gaining media traction with the impossible idea that they care about women at all. So why is it that New Hampshire and Michigan are being so Sexist? [The Page]
Just wait until Ralph picks his running mate! Has he picked a running mate already? Could he possibly find one?
The “October Surprise” this year will consist of Caribou Barbie popping out of a birthday cake. Instant GOP victory.
…hehehe, Chris Matthew taking apart another right winger on MSNBC!
Who cares? Sarah Palin is our savior! Her kids are fucked up just like mine! She MUST lead us!
shortsshortsshorts:
Are we going with Caribou Barbie?
I saw Mooseilini earlier and thought it was funny (although the joke is lost when said aloud)
I’m having trouble following these stories here using names like “Palin”.
Get on a nickname Wonkette, my snarkiness requires it!
If Nader screws the Dems out of another election, I say we take up a collection to put out a hit. Well, or at least have him kidnapped and dumped in the rainforests. One of those.
Miller: Ha, I was completely joking, he is worthless.
Also, stop promoting your blog in every single comment please.
shortsshortsshorts: It will be the Levi “Fuckin’ Redneck!” Johnston Sex Tape. Featuring sourdoughs, Hockey Moms, and GED’s.
Supernatural_Delegate: I, personally, am sticking with Glasses!.
Hm. These numbers are vaguely reassuring. Can we get some emergency polling in to determine how Barry revealing him as an evil sexist elitist sexist hurt his chances?
Supernatural_Delegate: Moosialini is good, but ya I’m throwing my weight behind “Caribou Barbie.” I think it’s not only accurate, but has less fat.
of course Nader’s trailing. What he needs is a frontier’s woman with a stack of back issues to Auto Consumer Reports. That should jump-start his straight-talk Corvair.
Move over Palin. The future is here and its not you.
AngryBlakGuy: like how? -i’ve no teevee here at the work office place.
As much as I am comforted by Barry’s lead in these swing states, I can’t help but shake the uncomfortable notion that he might someone lose the popular vote which would make the awful state of Massholechusettes turn over all their electoral votes to John McCain even though Mitt Romney will be the only person in the state to vote for him.
Jim Newell:
What’s wrong with promoting your own website in the comments?
—
http://www.snowballingalaskans.com
http://www.wasillabeastiality.com
How is Scranton leaning??
magic titty: One can only hope, or, let us pray you are right.
Please FSM! Grant this prayer for the magic titty!
…Taking with a grain of salt? Thanks, but I save my tequila for better causes.
I vote for “Bible Spice”.
Supernatural_Delegate: I agree. Promoting your own website isn’t as bad as, say, turning your entire website into one whorishly pink seizure inducing nsfw embarrassment of an advertisement.
http://www.foxsearchlight.com/choke/
RuperttheBear: “Pssst. It’s retarded.”
You twisted genius. Awesome.
magic titty: That’s an October Surprise we can believe in.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: can we do that regardless of the outcome?
Advocatus_Diaboli: Works for me!
spencer: Are you saying Massachusetts signed on to the plan to give its electoral votes to the winner of the national popular vote? This is news to me. Bad news, I might add.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: Crash him into a wall with a Corvair.
SICK IRONY.
LittlePhatGuise: Pig Spice? Moose Spice? Palinocchio?
Cogito Ergo Bibo: He has to have a few. There’s nothing to do in Wasilla but play hockey and try to get your off/on girlfriend to do regrettable shit.
Supernatural_Delegate: don’t forget Bible Spice
Snowbush?
Advocatus_Diaboli: Also, the only such plan I know of that’s circulating among the states doesn’t become binding on any state until enough states to swing the electoral college (i.e., states with the collective electoral college votes of 270 delegates) sign on. My understanding is that plan is several dollars short of a nickel at this point.
My Uncle is a successful lawyer specializing in Telecommunications issues. He had several major lawsuits against AT&T in the seventies that gained him some brief national attention. Nader once asked him to be his running mate. He said ‘no’ because the Tron family are winners not losers. Except for KevoTron (black sheep loser of the Tron family), his only claim is that he once received a star on wonkette for being snarky.
(that is a lie debunked on snopes.com. KevoTron never received a star, it was only a whore diamond.)
Regarding Ms Sara: Governess is good, Mooselini is only funny in print, so I guess it’s got to be Caribou Barbie. And by the way, can the use of “battleground” to refer to “states in contention in the general election for president” please be stopped? It’s unfair to actual battlegrounds. Have you ever been to Missouri?
hatlesshead: That’s a good 1 too!
magic titty: In Saudi the number one crime (when I was there) was camel fucking. Small wonder they murder moose predators in Alaskaland. So it ain’t just for sport after all. I wonder if you would need a step ladder. Or do the mooses get on their knees for it?
V572625694: I think I am really likin’ Snowbush. It sez so much.
How about Sarah Failin’? Too obvious?
Advocatus_Diaboli: They signed on to it but I guess forgot to send the bill to the governor or something. And according to this wikipedia article, the other states that have passed this law still aren’t actually going to do it until more states pass. PHEW.
I’d post my website but I can’t, because it’s a tattoo of my mom on my ass.
facehead: heh heh. heh heh.
Real macherrrrrrrr.
spencer: Am I a bad person because I agree with this in principle, but am fucking happy it doesn’t get to affect this election because I really wanna see Barry win?
Strictly for the Tardcore: I have this cognitive dissonance as well.
Demrats, once again Ralph will buzz you and shoot you with a high powered rifle from his Beechcraft, land, and then gut and skin you while you’re still twitching and losing control of your bowels. After that he’ll put lipstick on and do a little dance. Hap-hap-happy days are here again.
See the replies to Question 3/3a. http://www.time.com/time/2008/TOPSTATE3.pdf
What’s Belize like?
Fuck the battlegrounds, what about Alaska?
Caribou Barbie is on her way back to Alaskaland. Maybe we can get those peeps in Houston praying for Gawd to stop the Hurricane could put in an extra request to cause a blizzard and bury SnowBush up to her tattoed lips to like 2046. I’ll be dead by then.
KevoTron: You are too modest. Your other major distinction is shagging a chick who can’t score pot at a pot cafe.
I checked Snopes.com and it has yet to be debunked, so I’ll assume it’s true. I heard it from an unimpeachable source…. His name is KevoTron. I think HE should be asked to run with Nader.
Supernatural_Delegate: Damn it! I like snowballing and I like Alaskans, whatever they are, and your URL no work.
BrutallyHonestBabes: Seriously, you do not like snowballing. Trust me on this one.
TicklePickle:
Vladimir Putin - 23%
Tommy Chong - 22%
Trig - 20%
Sky King and Rex, the wonder dog - 17%
Emilio Escobar (deceased) - 14%
It’s damn close.
I’m guessing the media will stick their fingers in their ears over this, like they are with the tracking polls ticking back towards Obama?
Jim, your posts are very fun, but this random Germanic captialization of common nouns that you do is grating. “Self-loathing” need not be capitalized when it begins a sentence (and the “loathing” part should never be) and why on earth have you capitalized “sexist,” which come to think of it isn’t even a noun. Go back to Germany, you kraut.
hatlesshead: Palinocchio? Bwa-ha-ha-ha!!! Love it!!!
“…except when it begins…”
Yes, I’m anal enough to correct that bit of obviousness. Carry on.
Pawdedoo: Dear Pawdedoo: Your lexical points are not very fun. Or as the Krauts (capitalized) would say: “Leck mich am Arsch, du Affenschwanz!”
I think Barry will win Vriginia too, lots of hidden negro votes. He won Virginia in the primaries by 7 more points then expected because of those hidden negroes and some non-bitter white folks.
TexasCowGirl: Why are there so many hiding negroes in VA?