Every four years, a mysterious combination of negligence, incompetence, fraud, and criminality conspire to make a single state responsible for getting some doofus into the White House. In 2000, Florida took the honor; in 2004, it was Ohio. And every four years, Hendrik Hertzberg writes angry editorials about how the whole electoral college should be bombed from space as a Republican takes office yet again. So which state will we be able to blame when Sarah Palin is hastily sworn in as America’s 45th president after John McCain expires from gout and agues in the spring of 2009?
The choices are endless! You got your Pennsylvania, where Bob Barr’s presence on the ballot could swing the state to Obama; your Virginia, where local registrars are spreading absurd rumors about how college students might lose their financial aid if they register to vote; Ohio, Colorado, and New Mexico, where various voting “innovations” have resulted in terrible miscounts, recounts, delays, and general clusterfucks; and let’s not forget Florida, which should just be sawed off at the Panhandle and fed to the sharks off Cuba.
In short, we are doomed, and we look forward to the next Hertzberg screed.
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