Wonkette
C’mon people, stop bitching and moaning and threatening to move to socialist Europe under the false assumption that a lame Sarah Palin/Convention bounce has somehow sealed Barack Obama’s terrible fate. Wah wah wah. Things could be so much worse for Barry! Because if John McCain was set on picking a random lady with a narrative, he could’ve gone with Colorado Rep. Marilyn Musgrave instead. Her narrative, as shown in this re-election ad, is far more compelling than Palin’s. Musgrave grew up in Industrial England as a slave hobo, eating Oliver Twist’s leftover porridge and getting beaten up by her drunk father and crying. And then she became a Congresswoman! FOR FIVE AND A HALF YEARS. [YouTube]
xoxoxoxoxoxox
I’d rather eat Oliver Twist’s leftover porridge than human flesh!
If this is about Oliver then this is mine.
All Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine
…hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, no mention of party affiliation during the whole AD?! Must be a Republican!
We are all poor, and she will serve us all. Every one, no exceptions. Period. Fin.
Davy Crockett: Since then you pass the taters, and I’ll pass ‘em right back…
It’s my (Democratic) Party and I’ll cry if I want to
Please sir, may I have another.
shortsshortsshorts: Yeah. God bless us, every one. And Scrooge McCain, too.
I have an apron just like the one in the picture
except mine is blue.
Everyone’s suddenly discovered bipartisanship now! Wheeeeee!
Working on behalf of tear-stained urchins everywhere. Unless they’ve got the ghey.
Q2: damn you flash…
Yay!!! My representative made Wonkette.. I’m so proud.. Vote Betsy Markey to take this seat for the Dems (and send Musgrave back to the soup line).
Being an (R), now, she probably just eats children..
Is that a bottle of Johnny Black?
I’ll be right back, but forgive my spelling for the rest of the night.
My feeling is that Shelley Sekula Gibbs could do better.
I’m just not impressed unless those FIVE and a half Years were spent without a table or chair.
Besides, if she’s not hawt, does anything really matter?
Clancy_Pants: based on the ad, she’s really not promoting she’s a republican! why does Marilyn hate republicans
YellowSnow: Me thinks she senses her district is learning to hate Republicans.. She’s now into self-loathing.
She did grow up in Fort Morgan.. sort of like a Vietnamese prison camp?
Must be embarrassing when she introduces her dad at rallies and everyone boos him for making her cry when she was but a wee lass.
freakishlystrong: But only after the nine month gestation period, right? Because otherwise jeebus would smite her or sumthin’, right? Okay, just wanted to use “smite” even though I don’t know what it means or how to spell it. Sorta like SP on Fannie and Freddie the other day.
Clancy_Pants: Hey, MY (former) Rep was Mark Foley! You’ve got a long way to go to match that.
This woman was crying tears of the politics.
How long before Sarah Palin discovers the power of tears?
I bet it’s when the questions get too hard.
Not -ILFy enough.
all this ad makes me want to do it get drunk and beat her up
if she grew up in such a fucked up family, how comes she didn’t turn into one of teh gayz? that’s usually her M.O.
My new avatar could beat up your avatar.
No offense to LittlePhatGuise with the Fort Morgan comment…
Don’t forget this ho’s real claim to fame has been her trying to pass the constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage.
Please sir, can I have some more?
I would say it was simplistic and overdone, except for 99% of the American public who might see it.
shoeho: Yeah, like Billo gestates on his opinions of teen pregnancy..
Just have to say her she was absolutely right in her nosejob choice, given the snout she was cursed with at birth.
Every sperm is sacred!
The best part about this ad is that it comes full circle: first she’s a starving street urchin, waiting in line for some porridge, and then she grows up and becomes the lady in the line dishing it out to other, more modern starving people who fell through the cracks in a Republican’s dreamworld with charity-run soup kitchens and no social services.
None taken Clancy…I live in Greeley.
Granted, just a Shitburg itself, but, home of UNC….
you seen the poon the NCAA is offering up these days?
SCHWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!
shoeho: Guys, hold up. I grew up in Dick Armey’s district in Texas. No publicized scandals, but the man’s very name is just as embarrassing (not to mention his dickish personality). In one of my favorite moments of social-commentary-slash-irony, the man who succeeded Dick Armey in Texas’ 26th is a former obstetrician. Awesome. (And he delivered me into this world! *shudder*)
HomoPolitico: poetry my little gay wonk. poetry.
kellygrrrl:
exactly. good point.
if i don’t want to do her, i don’t want to listen to her.
WOW - did our Editors just bitch slap us???
Their pimp hand is strong today.
Viva la Cynthia: Okay, you win unless we have someone from Sugarland on Wonkette! IMO, the “Hammer” was the meanest excuse for a human ever elected to Congress.
Rush: They just don’t want to listen to us whine for eight more weeks is all. Please, please let the polls just be screwed up, please!
i was only going to move to canada the land of my mother.
Rush: No shit huh?
“I’m sorry Daddy! I’m back to shitting and grinning!”
helping the homeless? what is she, one of those awful “community organizers”?
KevoTron:
Uhhh no Mr. Principal, little Kevo fell on his bicycle and got those marks on his arm that look like cigar burns……
Nick vdK: I know, right?! What a friggin’ joke those guys are!
HomoPolitico: “Burning puma vaginas.” Thank you for the nightmare fuel.
Musgrave…isn’t she the one that said women shouldn’t work? In an interview from her congressional office?
Ha ha! You’re poor and your dad’s an alcoholic! Ha ha!
Oh wait, you’re a republican, you say?
Well then, run along and exploit, er, use the lessons you’ve learned to beat the nasty democrats.
space stout: That’s the dudes, for the chicks it’s porno videos or whoring, or some combination thereof. I’m sure there is some sort of fucked up Musgrove BBW videos out there, but who wants to do that oppo research?
I wonder if she dated a Newsie in high school?
This woman is just what our country needs. Marilyn Musgrave will fight to get our children back to work so they will no longer just sit at home, cry and steal sips of Daddy’s liquor.
YellowSnow: Looks more like a nice 15 year Haig & Haig The Dimple Pinch…Pops Musgrave picked a really nice blended Scotch to tie on.
oh gawd - she gave my backwoods senior class a talkin’ to about voting in high school. she ended classy-like by asking us to vote for her. i didn’t. my future librul ass couldn’t take this woman outfitted entirely in sweatpants/shirt seriously.
She was forced to do two shows a day in Annie on Broadway?
IT’S A HARD KNOCK LIFE!
whining always helps. whoever whines the best wins.
what about her being abused in ‘nam for 5 years.
Mmmmmm…hobo slaves are delicious in porridge. But maybe I’ve said too much…
shoeho: “S’mite” adv. Southern U.S.- definition: I could possibly do (action).
“I jus s’mite get me a new bass boat this year.”
Umm…who scrubbed my “buring passion of a thousand PUMA vaginas” bit. Its the best post I’ve had on here.