human resources

How John McCain Hired Sarah Palin In One Day

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We just received an awesome email advertisement offer that sounds like the perfect way to make random last-minute hiring decisions. Subject: Same day hiring decisions are possible.

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Hmm, so was Alaska one of the 30 states available for SAME DAY criminal records searches?

Sponsored Intermission

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • NotLaughing

    <—-needs work

  • ManchuCandidate

    -Baby Daddy Questions: 72 hour period
    -Discovery of affairs with hubby’s best friend: Pending
    -Alaskan Independence Party Membership: mmmmmmumblbe mumbbble
    -Dominionist Pentacostal who believes in end times: uhhhhhhh, no comment.

  • freakishlystrong

    Great marketing and good timing on that, considering the job market…!?

  • magic titty

    I have gone on record (in the form of my informed & bitter political writings) that this was a mere Craigslist, Random Encounters situacion.
    You know she was down with the barebackness of it all too.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Unfortunately it still takes the DailyKos community two days to vet a hire, mostly because there are so many porn sites and sex tapes to look through.

  • grendel

    What about book burning and moose hunting accuracy? What has happened to our standards as a nation?

  • NotLaughing

    [re=90238]freakishlystrong[/re]: I hear ya there!

  • Serolf Divad

    John McCain didn’t hire Palin. She hired him, even though he doesn’t realize it. The hiring process involved a prayer session, some speaking in tongues and a little snake handling. The members of Palin’s church had just wrapped up the Lord’s Prayer (a musical version, sung to the tune of Carl Orff’s “Oh Fortuna, Imperatirx Mundi”) when Palin’s cell phone rang. It was John. The rest is history.

  • blader

    Where’s the ATV report??!!

  • obfuscator

    [re=90257]Serolf Divad[/re]: Does “little” describe the snake or the amount of handling?

  • Tawmn

    [re=90257]Serolf Divad[/re]: It’s the snake handling that got her vetted.

  • freakishlystrong

    Oh, and the mean, sexist media had to vet Baked Alaska, the WALNUTS! campaign just looked at the hormone level…

  • shortsshortsshorts

    SAME DAY abortions would be just fine for Alaska.

  • irisheyes

    Side note: politico has an interesting article asking people what they would ask Palin. Some of the questions are pandering, but many of them are quite intelligent and legitimate questions. The whole thing made me smile, as I think of her trying to answer any of these and sound like she has a clue. I have been worried, but I think when those coveted independents catch the 10/2 debate, their eyes will be opened to how incredibly unprepared this person is to sit in the VP’s spot. Hope lives on.

  • freakishlystrong

    [re=90267]irisheyes[/re]: Oh, how I want to believe, but these things are REPUBLICANS..

  • grendel

    [re=90267]irisheyes[/re]: Dream on. She’ll be coached to respond with platitudes and generalities and do it in a folksy way. She won’t say anything we couldn’t have read off a Republican playbook, but she’ll be lauded as having held her own with big bad Joe Biden. You won’t see any gotchas unless the candidates are allowed to ask each other questions.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=90266]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Oh, wow. Win.

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=90267]irisheyes[/re]: Sorry, I’m not so optimistic. For one, none of the media seems to care that she continues to lie about that stupid bridge (even when there’s photographic evidence) or on her earmark obsession. Two, by the time Oct. gets here, the narrative will be she is ‘everymom’ & you shouldn’t be mean to her & she has been the biggest victim of sexism EVAH. How dare you ask her about an issue; that’s sexism! She’ll have won the debate just by showing up. If Joe Biden even looks at her, the media will be screaming ‘Mean Joe, Mean Joe’. The media can write the article today & just print it on Oct. 3.

    My only consolation is that Gwen Ifil will be the moderator & she won’t give a shit about pouty lips, cleavage or ‘everymom’ crap. However, I remember some of her softball Cheney/Edwards debate questions, so I remain hopelessly pessimistic at this point.

  • Q2

    Since Palin wants the baby belugs and polar bear babies DEAD and since Sarah Palin believes whe knows the will of God, I would ask Sarah Palin this: Does God want the baby beluga whales and polar bear cubs dead?

  • TGY

    I, for one, welcome our new instantly-vetted overlord.

  • KittyKatMan

    [re=90273]grendel[/re]: Damn, you’re bumming me out. You’re right.
    I’m rationalizing this his whole thing already. Palin/McCain will be a four year lame duck presidency with Dems in both senate and the house, and the snowbillies will be a treasure trove of comedy for Maher, Stewart,etc…..? :) :| :( :((

  • NotLaughing

    God has been mad at whales since the whole Jonah thing.

    That’s why there aren’t very many anymore.

  • grendel

    [re=90285]Q2[/re]: Obviously the answer is yes, or the Earth wouldn’t be warming up and destroying their habitat.

  • WhatTheHeck

    [re=90257]Serolf Divad[/re]:
    So much so, that the difference between a vice presnit and a presnit is a heart attack.

  • freakishlystrong

    [re=90279]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Nail in the coffin, I’m getting so depressed, aren’t we supposed to be funny?

  • freppish

    i wonder if McCain checked palins daughters facebook pages for pictures of underaged drinking

  • crunchymunchy

    Please don’t reward this terrible pick with the most powerful position in the free world. Please.

    McCain’s VP selection process:

  • TGY

    [re=90305]freakishlystrong[/re]: We can still be funny. It’s called ‘gallows humor’ or somesuch.

  • grendel

    [re=90298]KittyKatMan[/re]: And I’ll be laughing at you from socialist Europe

  • KittyKatMan

    Will Palin get a blanky and hot yummy moose milk at her debates??
    AP Kept Off Palin Plane: All Press Off The Record

    You know, we’re up against the stupids who don’t see this ploy. The idjit bitters who believe these lies.

  • KittyKatMan

    [re=90316]grendel[/re]: Damn you !!! Damn you to hell!!! ;)

  • NotLaughing

    This isn’t just a lame duck.

    This duck is on crutches and god knows what else.

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=90305]freakishlystrong[/re]: Sorry, I’ll try to be appropriately snarky. But it’s easier to be funny, sarcastic, snarky when you’re a) drunk or b) under the delusion that America is not completely full of dumb asses. (Walnuts is buying ad time during daytime soaps, so I guess that ruins thought b.)

  • Cogito Ergo Bibo

    [re=90317]KittyKatMan[/re]: I thought Palin put the plane on eBay, along with Bristol’s promise ring.

  • TGY

    [re=90316]grendel[/re]: I bet there’s not much laughing in the Foreign Legion. Well, only when it hurts, which is an S&M switch of some sort. Viva la France!

  • grendel

    [re=90317]KittyKatMan[/re]: I can’t believe no MSM went with Palin’s quote about how Fannie Mae and Freddy Mac were getting too big and costing the taxpayers too much money… Instant dequalification (and decapitation) in a rational world.

  • Gopherit v2.0

    [re=90316]grendel[/re]: Nah. If she and McCain win, you’ll be just another bit of carbonized jetsam on the cratered content we once knew as Europe.

  • grendel

    [re=90326]TGY[/re]: Ahahaha! But I won’t be in the foreign legion… just kicking back drinking socialist European wine and trying to learn how to say “fuck you” in my new adopted tongue!

  • freakishlystrong

    [re=90312]TGY[/re]: Thank you, first gen-u-ine laff I’ve had all day, fer realz…

  • KittyKatMan

    I may just turn Paultard. Then I’d hate both sides. At least I’d be happy.

  • grendel

    [re=90325]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: She sold Bristol’s virginity on Craiglist… Levi had an extra $20 kicking around

  • grendel

    [re=90330]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Good point… maybe I should make it Brasil… You’re all invited for Carnival

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=90325]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: Don’t you mean the ring that she exchanged with Mack Daddy Todd at the purity ball?

  • Cogito Ergo Bibo

    OMG. VP’s are not meant to wear ponytails! Gah, woman! Get thee to a stylist, stat!!!!

  • freakishlystrong

    [re=90324]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Then we need to start drinkin’ everytime we hear the
    word(s) “maverick”, or everytime we come across a dumbass just knowck em’ out with a 2X4, it’s the least we can do..(my poor teevee)..

  • YellowSnow

    300 million crimial records? How many people are in America, and what does George W have on ALL OF US?

  • YellowSnow

    Ohh, sorry, the Johnny Black is kicking in. chalk that up to 300million+1 criminal records

  • InsidiousTuna

    [re=90303]WhatTheHeck[/re]: The difference is 50 SPF.

  • liquiddaddy

    One can hire a woman like Palin silently with a 20 in one hand and a point to the crotch with the other. No interview or vetting required.

  • rev_matt_y

    [re=90250]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I’m confused. Are they reviewing to confirm that the applicant was actually in the porn industry?

  • wealwaysknow
  • Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=90351]freakishlystrong[/re]: Actually the best thing to do is avoid Drudge & most political web sites. Take a break, enjoy football season, realize that we survived 8 years of Bush, we can survive 4 years of Walnuts & the Arctic Princess. (Plus I imagine the Senate will have a majority, so how much damage can the dynamic duo do?) I know I’m going to regret typing that last question….

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=90377]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Ooops the Senate will have a Democratic majority.

  • grendel

    [re=90377]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: We’re weakened now after 8 years… easier prey…

  • btwbfdimho

    Wait for the first VP debate to see a same-day firing.

  • InsidiousTuna

    [re=90375]wealwaysknow[/re]: Nice. I’m sending that shit everywhere.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=90326]TGY[/re]: Holy shit, you’re right. The Euros don’t laugh, they just manufacture the funny.

  • freakishlystrong

    [re=90377]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: They can do gobs of damage..and you’re right about football, ‘cept my team SUCKS!

  • S. Cullen Bonz

    She sounds like Trudi Weigold on Reno 911.

  • elitistpigbull

    My favorite interview question: will you be able to answer the phone at 3 am or will you be covered in blood and strangling yourself with moose entrails?

  • jasonelias

    Would you believe she came from Manpower?

  • The 3-Legged Man

    The Republicans said they will wait until October to start profiling internet forum posters for later reprisals. Just in case they jump the gun, I thought I should repeat, for like the 1,000th time, my complete support for Pres-to-be Palin and that old dude.

  • skyinator

    But can she type? Haras Nilap for Eciv Tnediserp!

  • villageatrois

    Mc 5.5 shoulda vetted her with IRS. It might not be against Alaskan law to bill the state per diem for staying home, but IRS has compendious case law about allowable business deductions, and things like business use of a home. If there was income without expense, it should have been reported and taxed. If there were legitimate business expenses, they have to meet certain tests. I understand that none of the procedures are faith-based.