Wonkette
For many months after he won the Republican nomination, nobody wanted to see nasty grumpus John McCain mumbling onstage about how he puts country first every time he bangs a lobbyist. Not even the promise of honey and Saltines at the back of the Straight Talk Express was enough to lure likely Republican voters to a McCain “Rally.” Well, that’s all changed, now that he has a running mate who “excites the base,” wokka wokka.
Thanks to Alaskan pop phenom Sarah Palin, the Republicans are finally drawing a not-embarrasing number of people to their public events. Palin and McCain recently spoke before a crowd of about 10,000 — roughly what Barack Obama and Joe Biden tend to get.
Before he picked a running mate McCain used to speak exclusively in underground bunkers for the aged and infirm, delighting groups of up to 1,000 people with his card tricks and naughty jokes. How long before he explodes in a jealous rage at Sarah Palin and releases an ad mocking her for being a celebrity?
McCain Campaign Crowds Grow Exponentially [ABC News]
…still waiting on the Trooper Gate report…
…soon children…soon…
Those stretched-out pitbull gams are making my tighty-whiteys grow exponentially.
Sounds like walnut and the VC are becoming celebrities.
Anyone want to start a pool over when some idiot yells “SHOW US YOUR TITS” to McCai..er, Gov. Palin?
…it is sad when there are more people at your political rally than in the state that you Govern.
Anyone else feel kinda sorry for Gramps that the only people who want to see him speak wish he were dead? I know, I know, but old people tend to do that do me. I’m a bleeding heart, it’s what I do!
He will explode soon. I have not given up hope that McCain will explode in the coming weeks. Also Palin will continue to say retarded things whenever the handlers let her speak off script. The whole goddamn ticket will explode. IT MUST!!!!!
shortsshortsshorts: …it’ll be that much more satisfying when she is indicted!
pussy talks and bullshit walks…
Is that Huckabee last in line?
Looking like he’s catching another case of the tubbies.
The public castration of John McCain continues. His new nickname should be “Sloppy Seconds”
“How long before he explodes in a jealous rage at Sarah Palin and releases an ad mocking her for being a celebrity?”
Yeah, which ticket can more identify with the Spears family now?
“Cheerleaders from a high school in Albuquerque, N.M., Saturday night launched a Palin cheer while warming up the crowd — but no such cheer went out for the presidential candidate.”
Awww — looks like McCain’s finally in his element — playing off the talent of the latest hot young thing.
I hope he’s just seething with repressed inner rage and that the cameras are on when he explodes and calls her a cunt.
Choosing Palin was basically just a huge risky trick play. Yeah, the Statue of Liberty works when you’re playing against Wasilla High, but you can’t win in the NFL on goofy reverses and fake punts.
Joe Biden is going to break through the offensive line and tackle the Hockey Mom like he’s Julius Fucking Peppers.
SayItWithWookies: Yeah, if he wasn’t so used to it, I’d be praying for a temper tantrum. Something tells me if he as a Cunt-Trollop moment with Palin, he’ll be limping away with one less ball.
Botswana Meat Commission FC: But won’t she distract him with her lipsticked vagina?
Can we just all agree to go to these Republican events and boo McCain and Palin and pelt them with rotten fruit and tomatoes (as well as the vicious vitriolic crowd that supports them)? It seems like something the wonkette crowd could agree to do.
Gopherit v2.0: I would pay money for that. “Cunt-trollup” moment followed by GILF-y knee to withered balls. Of course, I’d pay the money to Hopey, so maybe that wouldn’t quite work.
Sarah Smith, you delight me. “Not even the promise of honey and Saltines at the back of the Straight Talk Express.” Nice John Allen Muhammad call back.
They should have a circus announcer accompany them to all of their rallies to showcase what freaks they truly are– “SEE the man with the creepy smile who can’t lift his arms over his head!! BEHOLD the woman who would bear a rapist’s child!!
shortsshortsshorts: That won’t matter. To the wingnut base, any reports of scandal will only prove the ‘MSM liberal bias’. Nothing (short of admitted devil worship) will torpedo Sarah Palin in the eyes of the True Believers, so we might as well stick to the issues as was Hopey’s original idea.
I wonder if the Foreign Legion has a women’s auxiliary? Doubt it. Oh, well. Viva la France! Allons enfants de la Patrie…
Also, if Joe Biden is mean to Sarah and makes her cry into her mooseburger during the debates, he will be deemed ‘nasty to women’. If he plays softball with her, Babycuda will come out slugging and be on top.
That’s no-win.
TGY: I think you are right. The wingnut base loves her. She is not going anywhere. And if she shows up for the Gibson interview and doesn’t pick her nose, or break down crying, or say “I love Vladimir Putin,” then everyone will say she did a great job. Knocked it out of the park. Because the expectations are so very, very low.
I do think McCain and company are playing the media like a fiddle. I hope they figure it out and get mad about it.
TGY: Personally, I’m looking forward to watching McCain have to embrace Palin’s religious beliefs. Seeing him speak in tongues on youtube will be fucking epic.
magic titty: WAT
Gopherit v2.0: Have you seen some of the gibberish he comes up with on occasion? How do we know he hasn’t been speaking in tongues this whole time?
Gopherit v2.0: I feel sorry for WALNUTS. A little. Kind of. Not least in that he’s been marginalized by his own VP choice. It’s the “PALIN and that old guy, whatsisname” ticket.
4tehlulz: Personally I’m waiting for someone to hold up an “Iron My Shirt!” sign.
Kind of like watching a car wreck…or “Two Women and a Cup”. It’s awful and makes you physically ill, but you cannot turn away.
Close call… if they would just throw in a few upskirts, i may well vote for WALNUTZ!
Meanwhile, in Lancaster PA, Palin delivers McCain another whopper of a verbal blowjob in front of throngs of adoring fans! McCain just stands next to her - fondling his ring finger - and occasionally slowly rotating in a circle to take a gander at the crowd.
druranium: …whilst not so secretly staring at her ass, no doubt.
What if Biden brings her a gift? What’s appropriate on a first debate? Flowers? Chocolate? Maybe a copy of the Constitution. I’m all for a good “stunt” … how bout you folks?
druranium: She’s already wearing thin, though. She’s used the example of change inversion line five times.
Yep, train wrecks draw large crowds all the time too…
Some new fun launched here: http://storefrontwindows.blogspot.com/
TGY: There are many other scenarios for the Veep debate in which Biden can look terrific. The stunt Republicans always try is to offer bait to the Dem’s, who seem to have a carpish fondness for the prank; the most colossal version was the Lewinsky farce, when Bill hit the bait like a sax-playing Big Mouth Billy Bass. If Biden sticks to answering the question instead of directing remarks towards Palin, he will come across as cool and focused. He shouldn’t try to treat her as a woman or a man; he should ignore her to the greatest extent possible. If she makes a provocative statement, offering bait, he should simply respond to the question instead. If the interviewer tries to provoke by referring him back to her provocation, he should say that it isn’t HER statement, but something the GOP has been saying all along, and he should address any sharp remarks to the Republicans, not at Palin. Biden’s been around the block and knows how to do this stuff; it’s simply a matter of not taking the bait. If she continues to provoke futilely, she looks juvenile (which she is).
Johnny Zhivago: thank you for helping me think of it this way…
I thought large crowds & rallies were….bad, celebrity-ish. Seems like I remember a Walnuts ad where people were chanting someone’s name & there were large crowds & hmmmmm…..
Remember when Hillary was all ‘you & your big rallies, shame on you’? She must be esp. bitter to see the mayor of the meth capital of AK getting her sloppy seconds. How would she feel if Walnuts won, died & Mother Sarah was the first female president? I think her shriek would break the sound barrier.
Did they ever think of running for public office? I hear a metropolis in Alaska is looking for a new crack team to run the mayor’s office and library
lawrenceofthedesert: Good point. I’m not sure people will perceive the juvenility, however. It might be only be us elitists who do so. We’ll see.
I suppose there’s also the possibility that she’ll go cuckoo at some point, since she *is* an evangelical. However, time is short for the Grand Wobbly Incident to occur.
oh fuck me, the “breakdown”/ go cuckoo/ WALNUTS! Cunty Trollop freak out needs to happen like, yesterday. There’s only so much booze and drugs I can afford. My doctors want to put me on Prozac, this fucking election is driving me to drink, and it’s all going straight to hell.
As a native of Lebanon, Ohio, where Walnuts and Barracuda rallied today, I can safely say there is NO WAY 10,000 people gathered to watch them there. That’s basically the population of good ol’ “Leb’nen,” as we natives call it, and God knows that many people wouldn’t fit in its idyllic, politically-backward streets.
TGY: Us waiting for a Palin meltdown would be naive — too many spinners surrounding her, methinks, for this loony to escape the asylum. Besides, she didn’t get to be governor through public hot flashes. She will keep the far-right rhetoric for those interviews with far-right media outlets, thus allowing the ever-popular “out of context” copout if discovered. Actually, a McCain’t meltdown might be more likely, but I’m sure they have a 400-pound man handy to sit on John if he begins to twitch.
I don’t think of myself as elitist, and I don’t equate “evangelical” with “crazy,” though fundies are living in a very different world from mine (I live outside L.A. with lots of them). The fundies won’t vote for Obama, of course, but I think it possible to make fewer of them vote for or donate to McCain. He really isn’t much of a Republican, let alone a conservative one. He blows with the wind in the interests of John McCain. (Perhaps that last sentence was nine words too long…)
That leg shot of Palin gave me a boner.
remember the movie “to die for”? well…