Wonkette
The only man in America more vain about his hair than John Edwards is of course John McCain, who once famously snarled at his wife that it was better to have thinning hair than to parade around like a painted Whore of Babylon. Now we have possible photographic evidence that the Republican Party may be assisting crazy ol’ John McCain in his insane delusion that he still has hair.
A reader from Jacksonville sent us a flyer for a Republican Pancake Breakfast — one that features McCain with, as this person put it, “a youthful mane of flowing, windswept silver-fox hair!”
Which is weird, because every other photo ever taken of John McCain in the past 20 years (like the one on the left of the above comparison) has shown him with a terrible combover that only looks convincing to John McCain himself, when he stands at a very particular angle to the mirror and squints his eyes, in the dark.
So was this all just a terrible Photoshop stunt? A more likely explanation has McCain slowly draining all the fertile life-blood of his running mate, for sustenance, so that by election day he will be covered in a glistening pelt of shiny silver fur while Sarah Palin creeps around bald and broken, muttering about what a trollop John McCain is.
That’s just all the grey pubes he’s collected over the years from the shower and super glued it to his head.
Now that is change we can believe in.
Good grief, and it’s BAD photoshopping too. If they were going to modify the photo, they should have taken that turkey waddle out from under his chin.
Could be he is growing out his ear hair and extending the comb over.
If your theory is correct, and he continues to grow white hair all over his body, at some point Sarah Palin is going to accidentally mistake him for a baby seal, and club him the fuck to death!
And they made his skin tone 35% less jaundiced.
It’s not photoshopped — the pic on the right was taken while McCain was in the process of going backwards in time and undoing every single Mavericky thing he did in the Senate. If not for this picture, there would be no evidence whatsoever of his historical revisionism — so I suggest we all just forget we ever saw it. Goodnight, people!
Maybe Joe Biden reccommended a good hair transplant surgeon.
blader: win!
Only an elitist republican can afford photoshopped hair plugs.
…maybe he is using that scalp spray paint that was so popular a few years back?!
Canmon (the Inadequate): Maybe he used the hair from Hillary’s cankles…
It’s the mooses’ soft underbelly down. That’s how Sarah Palin got on the ticket. After all, what could Rudy offer? Rat fur?
blader: I think that would really “energize the base” of the GOP.
Are they maybe just using a photo from the 70s or something?
Cy Sperling says that McCain joined the Heir Club For Men.
Cindy Cuntrollop swears by the Heiress Club For Women.
Move on….
The shop should have been outsourced to the Iranians.
blader: James Dobson approves of this message.
that’s awesome… and I thought I was the only person who pointed out objects on digital imagery with Paint. My self-assurance and confidence has never been higher.
Thh-that’s n-n-not a-a-irbrush we can believe in!
Godot: Are they maybe just using a photo from the 70s or something?
The other day I saw a photo from his 1972 wedding to Cindy, and he had a terrible combover even then! The part was about an inch above his ear.
He gives me the creeps. He looks like he walks around with a soiled diaper because he wants to brag about being a crap maverick.
You sure that’s not Leslie Nielsen in the second photo?
Walnuts’ head looks like a Q-tip after you’ve cleaned out your belly button (couple pieces of dirt for the brown eyes). Too much information? Sorry…..
that’s what having a Miss Thang on your arm for a few weeks will do.
Holy crap. He is totally gonna leave Cindy for Caribou Barbie. This is INSANE.
So are you suggesting that Palin is like his picture of Dorian Gray and they’ll destroy each other.
Those aren’t hairs. Rather, think of a block of dry ice. Only in this case, rather than solidified CO2 sublimating into the air, it’s a layer of Walnuts’ dead and dessicated head-flesh, with the collected mass of flakes reflecting just enough light to appear as a whispy haze.
Still does nothing for those gnarly teeth. They are like those hillbilly teeth you buy at Halloween.
vintageways: i like this post the bestest.
I’m envisioning Sarah creeping around, all hunched, like Willem Dafoe in that Shadow of the Vampire.
She’s just as convincing in her blood-sucking nature. All she needs now is posture.
Unfortunately it’s not from adding hair, it’s from not cropping out a background correctly from whatever JPEG they got off of Google Image Search. Walnuts doesn’t cotton to media kits.
McCain is having an end of life crisis.
Canmon (the Inadequate): yeah, the McCain strategists figured Biden didn’t want to go there.
But now that you mention the combover, McCain has so much hair, he looks like freakin’ Peter Graves on the cover of Meaghan’s book:
http://www.amazon.com/My-Dad-John-McCain-Meghan/dp/1416975284
He’s had a face lift too it looks like.
That’s all John McCain needs, a big phony toupee of Romney-esque white hair, quaffed ever so gayly. He’ll lock up the swing states with that mane of manly hair.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
The republicans want to replace McCain’s whole body with Palins titays.
CAPS LOCK BROKEN ANTI CHRIST WILL BE HOCKEY MOM.
THE END.
Obama can’t be defeated by a couple of Steve Martin and Tina Fey impersonators, no way Josai!!
blader: Very Nice, let’s hope that happens quickly as I could really use a laugh.
SayItWithWookies: is he the curious case of benjamin button?
you call that hair? What is he trying to sexytime himself up for carabou barbie?
sks is queen of funny bittrz writing.
“Give me essence of Gelfling, GELFLING!!!”
I’m just shocked that such a young energetic boy would have such thin hair.
Like Kim Jong Il, McCain employs a number of “body doubles,” both for security and
for putting up with Cindy. Obviously, this is one of his doubles. The real McCain was last
seen giving Joe Lieberman a reach-around after the RNC.
Godot: the 1770s, maybe.
Well, they do say that your hair and fingernails appear to keep growing after death.