LITMUS TESTS  5:12 pm September 8, 2008

Michelle Obama Dances With Ellen On Teevee’s ‘Ellen’ Program

by Jim Newell

Your pretend Jackie Kennedy girlfriend, Michelle Obama, appeared on daytime teevee today and did what all daytime teevee guests do: dance with that famous lesbian gal, Ellen. Barack Obama has been there, although he kept his muted dance moves within “the safe zone,” a politician’s best friend. BUT MICHELLE JUST GOES NUTS WITH HER DANCING, and even pulls out some “Vogue,” and then we stopped watching because what is this? [YouTube]

Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


Spence September 8, 2008 at 5:15 pm


AnnieGetYourFun September 8, 2008 at 5:17 pm

Is it a sure sign that I need to get laid that I wanted them to start grinding?

facehead September 8, 2008 at 5:17 pm

That’s not racial transcendence.

magic titty September 8, 2008 at 5:18 pm

That Ellen fella is a cutie

AzDownboy September 8, 2008 at 5:19 pm

That was a zillion times better than Barack’s pained gyrations

columnv September 8, 2008 at 5:20 pm

Wait, wait, Black-Power Michelle is a lesbian???

rambone September 8, 2008 at 5:21 pm

That was Samborific!

SuperRounder September 8, 2008 at 5:21 pm

Want. Her. More.

SuperRounder September 8, 2008 at 5:23 pm

[re=89044]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Yes. And according to Jordin Sparks, you’re a slut.

NoWireHangers September 8, 2008 at 5:23 pm

Has Cindy been on Ellen? I feel like she’d need a bottle of Boniva before attempting to dance.

trophy(forparticipation)wife September 8, 2008 at 5:25 pm

It looked like she was making an effort to still the booty for daytime. I say, let it go. Wine yuh bottom.

Dr. Feelquestionable September 8, 2008 at 5:25 pm

I didn’t give my girlfriend permission to go dance on the tee-vee.

facehead September 8, 2008 at 5:26 pm

[re=89044]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: no, it means you’re unpatriotic.

magic titty September 8, 2008 at 5:27 pm

[re=89057]NoWireHangers[/re]: You silly. Cindy knows dancing is for niggers.

TGY September 8, 2008 at 5:27 pm

[re=89057]NoWireHangers[/re]: Ibuprofen or else she might strain something, possibly her face.

Jingo September 8, 2008 at 5:29 pm

What? No booty shake?!

The Obamas dancing with Ellen is all well and good. But just wait until Sarah Palin gets her groove on. Ellen insiders tell me the governor has already been booked and is ready to show the Obamas how it’s done. She’s just waiting for the show to install a stripper pole on stage.

Fear of a Black Reagan September 8, 2008 at 5:31 pm

Michelle Obama: black? check. lesbian? after this, practically.

Looks like we got here ladies and gentlemen OUR NEXT SECRETARY OF STATE!!!!

Harvey Birdman September 8, 2008 at 5:32 pm

Want. Cool. First. Lady.

Fear of a Black Reagan September 8, 2008 at 5:32 pm

[re=89044]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Yes.

KittyKatMan September 8, 2008 at 5:33 pm

I want to climb up her legs and bite her thick first lady booty.

nosnikreplliw September 8, 2008 at 5:33 pm

Forget the G/VPILF – what we have here is a FLILF & a badonkadonk rolled into one!

Aurelio September 8, 2008 at 5:34 pm

My only question is this: is Ellen sexually attracted to Michelle, or is she a racist? Inquiring minds want to know.

KittyKatMan September 8, 2008 at 5:37 pm

Whew, what a difference between Michelle and Annie Oakley , or as the Arianna Huffington calls Palin, the Trojan Moose. Maybe Palin can show up and show us her speaking-in-tongue skills. Zubadyafunkalickyziam zababa dubarokkarokka!

kellygrrrl September 8, 2008 at 5:38 pm

The Obamas are both better dancers than Ellen

Cogito Ergo Bibo September 8, 2008 at 5:42 pm

Poor Barry. He can’t even win “best dancer” in his own house.

blader September 8, 2008 at 5:44 pm

Too cautious.

This opens the door for Palin to come out with the ‘Mae this Fannie’ jig. If she does, I’m afraid it will be all but over for the dems.

Slutty_Chola_Cobbler September 8, 2008 at 5:45 pm

It’s official – Michelle Obama is the hottest MILF out there..

Itsjustme September 8, 2008 at 5:58 pm

Palin, dance? I don’t think them religious ones are allowed to dance. Now, the horizontal bop is fine if you are underage.

trophy(forparticipation)wife September 8, 2008 at 6:15 pm

Barack allows this haram behavior?

problemwithcaring September 8, 2008 at 6:31 pm

Man Black people can just get down, can’t we.

columnv September 8, 2008 at 6:35 pm

[re=89074]KittyKatMan[/re]: Are you an insect?

loquaciousmusic September 8, 2008 at 6:39 pm

What’s ironic is that these are tougher questions than Charlie Gibson will ask Sarah Palin.

AnnieGetYourFun September 8, 2008 at 6:46 pm

[re=89056]SuperRounder[/re]: That part was a given. I just wanted to know if I should get laid or not.

seachel September 8, 2008 at 6:58 pm

Geez, she still has that funky applique rash she caught at the convention.

professor.cj September 8, 2008 at 7:03 pm

Jim, this is the crap that will win or lose the election. That’s why Drudge created that whole fake “Oprah won’t have Palin as a guest” scandal-non-scandal to get her on Oprah. The creationists who live on the cul-de-sacs really don’t care what Maureen Dowd or David Brooks think (and nor should they, really), but they do care about how entertaining people are while they fold their laundry and check their email.

affability = electability

They assume, wrongly, that government will run itself regardless of who is in charge, because in most of their small towns (like in Alaska, say), the mayor is an idiot, but the town somehow manages not to burn down every day.

youknew September 8, 2008 at 7:06 pm

Are that many men hot for Michelle’s booty? My Lord.

Schadenfried September 8, 2008 at 7:07 pm

[re=89057]NoWireHangers[/re]: . . . and Percocet, with a tramadol chaser.

trophy(forparticipation)wife September 8, 2008 at 7:14 pm

[re=89213]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Is that a trick question? Isn’t the answer always yes you should get laid?

Jukesgrrl September 8, 2008 at 7:18 pm

I’m sure I saw some secret signals to terrorists.

SisterTruth September 8, 2008 at 7:29 pm

She is beautiful, smart, well-informed, and a pretty decent dancer. Shouldn’t we be concerned that the Democratic candidate’s wife has a better education and more thorough knowledge of the constitution (Harvard Law y’all) than either of the Republican nominees?

Maybe the Republicans can have her answer Sarah Palin’s press questions for her while Palin is studying up on foreign policy, domestic policy, and everything else she needs to know to become vice president. Michelle Obama for president in 2016!!!

Ellen seems to dislike her, and I’m not sure why. I’ve rarely seen Ellen so icy before. Thoughts?

grevillea September 8, 2008 at 7:33 pm

It’s been right under our noses the whole time! They’re shipping the cocaine in snow domes!

Rush September 8, 2008 at 7:56 pm

Shit, after that I’ve become bitter.

Anyone got any Dice Clay poems???

liquiddaddy September 8, 2008 at 8:14 pm

You got to figure Ellen would stop that after Chris Matthews shoved her down, smacked her, and started dry-humping her ear.

Politricks September 8, 2008 at 9:10 pm

so this is what American politics has come to? Dancing with lesbian, on tee vee. Please don’t stop the music because my head will explode.

hrhkingfriday September 8, 2008 at 9:37 pm

You see, she was really only reenacting her first night swapping with the Bidens…

BobLoblawLawBlog September 9, 2008 at 4:35 am

Ah, the plan to reinvigorate the Obama campaign is coming to fruition.
Step 1: Don’t let Barry mince words about his opponents. They’re not “misrepresenting the facts.” “Lying” works much better if you’re talking to the mouth-breathers still on the fence.
Step 2: Unleash Michelle to gently remind everyone she’s cool, funny, hot, and a snappy dresser. Have her remind everyone that they always put their kids first and lets them have a normal childhood amidst all this madness. Unlike, say, someone who lets Newsweek do a profile on her retarded son a week after announcing to the world that her daughter’s pregnant.
Step 3: (still to come): Remind the world that true misogyny is reflected by treating women as if they’re delicate flowers who cannot stand up for themselves. Then let Biden rip her limb from limb.
Step 4: Rinse and repeat.

YellowSnow September 9, 2008 at 9:06 am

[re=89337]Politricks[/re]: Just think of this as the new form of Pop Idol. Yeah, it costs you a buck to call in, someone wins, we forget, the end. Oh, but you mean the president might actually do something other than entertain us? BORING, change channels.

AlPal June 17, 2009 at 11:30 am

So now we have TWO Dykes in Michelle and Ellen – getting off on each other!

We do not know who the father of Michelle’s kids are, but the suspicion is it was Tiller the Killer!!

By the way, the “Hussen Obama” marriage has NEVER been consumated. Mubarack has Never been with a Woman in his life. His current BedFellow is Harry Knox!!

Yes, the entire Democrat administration is going to HELL in a handbasket!!

God Bless you Rush, Beck, Alex Jones – and every other decent Christian and Jew out there!

Chazak Amenu!!

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: