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THE WEEKLY STAN-TURD

Bill Kristol Writes New Partisan Column That Compromises Everything He Pretends To Stand For

New York Times “lightning rod conservative” columnist Bill Kristol today continues his titular free fall from superficially respectable-sounding “foreign policy conservative” to “comically shameless Republican purveyor of cynical misinformation who does not actually believe in or fact-check anything.” We recommend you sit down before reading this snippet from today’s column: “Should voters be alarmed by a relatively young or inexperienced vice-presidential candidate? No.” He adds that Teddy Roosevelt and Harry Truman were both new to the scene when their bosses croaked in office, and they turned out just fine. This is the same Bill Kristol who has spent all summer deriding Barack Obama’s relative youth and inexperience. Why do we even bother…

Here’s the full paragraph:

Should voters be alarmed by a relatively young or inexperienced vice-presidential candidate? No. Since 1900, five vice presidents have succeeded to the presidency during their term in office: Teddy Roosevelt in 1901, Calvin Coolidge in 1923, Harry Truman in 1945, Lyndon Johnson in 1963, and Gerald Ford in 1974. Teddy Roosevelt took over at age 42, becoming our youngest president, and he’s generally thought to have proved up to the job. Truman was V.P. for less than three months and had been kept in the dark by Franklin Roosevelt about such matters as the atom bomb — and he’s generally thought to have risen to the occasion. Character, judgment and the ability to learn seem to matter more to success as president than the number of years one’s been in Washington.

What a stunning paragraph to come from Bill Kristol, because this is ALL TRUE. No sarcasm either! Experience, to a certain extent, is an empty metric by which to judge a candidate, because every now and then new events or situations will develop in the world, believe it or not, and the traits a president will need are steady temperament, intelligence, and confidence in judgment.

How shocking that it took the selection of Sarah Palin for conservatives such as Bill Kristol to realize this after months of bashing Barack Obama’s inexperience, exclusively. And yet how bizarre that Kristol — who we *thought* had built his career on and evaluated himself by cataloging as many random facts (or assumptions) about foreign policy as possible — is not GOING UTTERLY INSANE over one notable fact, which is that Sarah Palin has never said a single thing about foreign policy in her career.

A Heartbeat Away [NYT]


4:25 PM on Mon September 8 2008
By Jim Newell
5760 Views

  1. loquaciousmusic says at 4:27 pm, September 8th, 2008

    Apparently, having a vagina equals having experience, and having experience equals being electable.

    Therefore, having a vagina equals being electable.

    HILLARY ‘08!!!!!11!!!!1!

  2. 4tehlulz says at 4:27 pm, September 8th, 2008

    The blanker the slate, the easier it is to fill it with neoconservative fail.

  3. V572625694 says at 4:30 pm, September 8th, 2008

    loquaciousmusic: As a non-vaginallary American, I resent that type of sexism.

  4. facehead says at 4:30 pm, September 8th, 2008

    Kristol can take a dump.

  5. What do you mean she’s never said anything about foreign policy? She said “hey, look, there’s Russia!” when she first looked at the map of Alaska after being elected Governor…

  6. epic fail

  7. Well, he’s right in that Palin has a lot of experience in being inexperienced. Much more so than Obama.

  8. NoWireHangers says at 4:33 pm, September 8th, 2008

    Why do we even bother…

    Indeed. It’s not like these people value sense or facts. So why do we spend our time bringing their transgressions to light? All it does is give us heartburn.

  9. Texan Bulldoggette says at 4:33 pm, September 8th, 2008

    Why does Bill look like he just got a chemical peel in that picture? Doesn’t he know he’s not supposed to take his vampire self out of the coffin?

  10. Slutty_Chola_Cobbler says at 4:35 pm, September 8th, 2008

    He meant it doesn’t matter only if you are (What’s the code word?):

    WHITE!!!

    Barack O. needs to seriously get rid of his Harvard Law Degree.. And Fuck being President of the Law Review.. Who needs that shit anymore? Seriously…

  11. Yeah, you know… ’cause a Journalism degree from Idaho School of Beauty is the same as a degree from Columbia and a Law degree from Harvard Law. Totally the same.

  12. loquaciousmusic says at 4:36 pm, September 8th, 2008

    V572625694: It’s called sexyism, and you’re welcome.

  13. grobby22 says at 4:36 pm, September 8th, 2008

    Please someone tell me this is all a dream. Here is the irony, this walmart candidate could not even get a job at walmart as a manager. 7-11 maybe, but certainly not walmart!

  14. Would somebody please take every quote from 2000 and 2004 about needing Dick Cheney’s massive gravitas and experience, carve each on a cinderblock and shove them up Bill Kristol rancid ass?

  15. GlennBecksTaint says at 4:39 pm, September 8th, 2008

    Bill is just another typical elitist liberal new york times biased liberal bias elite

  16. Serolf Divad says at 4:40 pm, September 8th, 2008

    Should voters be alarmed by a relatively young or inexperienced vice-presidential candidate? No. Consider that in the year 39, Emperor Caligula proclaimed his horse, Incitatus, a Senator, and he is generally agreed to have been up to the task.

  17. user-of-owls says at 4:43 pm, September 8th, 2008

    grobby22:
    7-11 maybe,/i>

    ooh, don’t go there. It didn’t work out so well for Sri Biden when he wandered through those sliding doors of rhetoric.

  18. KevoTron says at 4:43 pm, September 8th, 2008

    loquaciousmusic: I have a vagina too. Right now it’s in the kitchen making me a sandwich. Ha!

    When do I get to be preznit?

  19. articulate moran says at 4:43 pm, September 8th, 2008

    Bill Kristol!!!! Compromises!!!!!!!

    Unbelievable.

    Can we change his title to “The poor man’s William F. Buckley” ?

  20. Sarah Palin has an extensive record on foreign policy. As a supporter of the Alaska Independence Party, she believes Alaska should be a country independent from the rest of the United States. Therefore, every time she visits one of the remaining 49 states, she is garnering valuable experience with a nation that she doesn’t consider her own. She can’t wait to get back to Alaska to tell her friends about our quaint little customs like allowing black people to run for elected office and frowning upon teenage kids getting pregnant and marrying before they’re actually adults.

  21. SayItWithWookies says at 4:44 pm, September 8th, 2008

    Hey, I think Bill hit it right on the head, especially with this sentence: “Character, judgment and the ability to learn seem to matter more to success as president than the number of years one’s been in Washington.”

    If the investigation into her firing of Monegan is any indication, her character and judgment should be considered questionable at best. Not to mention lying about the money for the bridge to nowhere. Whether she’s capable of learning is another thing — which we apparently won’t find out for another two weeks.

  22. user-of-owls says at 4:44 pm, September 8th, 2008

    user-of-owls: <, you dumbass, <

  23. user-of-owls says at 4:46 pm, September 8th, 2008

    KevoTron: Your vagina better damn well have papers or Lou Dobbs gonna be all over you and your sammich too.

  24. Canmon (the Inadequate) says at 4:47 pm, September 8th, 2008

    grendel: It’s too bad we can’t find a candidate that combines all the best qualities of these candidates. Say, for instance, someone who has executive experience as a governor, Ivy league degrees from Yale and Harvard and knows the ins and outs of Washington because they are the child of a former president.

  25. totally off topic: Daily Kos is filled with idiots. But different idiots from Bill Kristol.

  26. KevoTron says at 4:53 pm, September 8th, 2008

    user-of-owls:

    Me: “Vagina? Tu eres illegal?”

    Vagina: “No! Soy legal! Que quieres en tu sandwich Papi?”

    Me: “Todos. VAS A LA COCINA VAGINA! Rapido!”

    Vagina: “Dios mio…Lo siento Papi.”

  27. This process of repeating Kristol’s idiotic sophistry is just plain masochistic!

  28. YellowSnow says at 4:59 pm, September 8th, 2008

    grendel: No no no. It’s all about luck, fate, being blessed and Jeebus. There’s no need to work, study hard, think, etc when its all assigned at birth. Like Trig for example. He’s just as likely to be a superspaceman cadet as any other kid - Jeebus will just love him more than those Sambos. PRAISE BE!

  29. Gopherit v2.0 says at 5:02 pm, September 8th, 2008

    I don’t know why everyone is so critical of Sarah. Why, even during her tenure as Mayor of Wasilla, she was passing on her conservative values by <a href=”http://opedna.com/2008/09/08/wasilla-police-billed-sexual-assault-victims-for-rape-kits/”billing rape victims for their rape kits It’s really the only fiscally responsible thing to do, and the sluts probably deserved it.

  30. AnnieGetYourFun says at 5:02 pm, September 8th, 2008

    facehead: Um, pretty sure that Kristol’s columns are proof that he DOES take dumps, regularly, and hands them over for proofreading.

  31. magic titty says at 5:02 pm, September 8th, 2008

    Sean O: it’s all idiots. who cares?
    bill kristol is a fucking dick and sarah palin isn’t qualified to smile outside.

  32. HomoPolitico says at 5:06 pm, September 8th, 2008

    As a Penis-American, I can say Bill Kristol speaks for me.

  33. AnnieGetYourFun says at 5:07 pm, September 8th, 2008

    Oh, and Jim? I know it’s difficult to confuse “butt plug” with “lightning rod”, but I think you did a little switcharoo in the lead-in today.

  34. Gopherit v2.0 says at 5:07 pm, September 8th, 2008
  35. Gopherit v2.0 says at 5:11 pm, September 8th, 2008

    AnnieGetYourFun: He can be either. A real lightning rod or a real butt plug. i’m not fussy.

  36. NoWireHangers: Because we’re the “reality based community,” as opposed to the “spew any complete horsesh*t you think will get your guy elected” community. Of course, I’m beginning to think we’re numbered in the hundreds, and they are in the millions. Please tell me the IQ of the American voter is not heading for single digits.

  37. kellygrrrl says at 5:11 pm, September 8th, 2008

    Palin made a huge gaffe re Frannie/Freddie
    Economists jumped on it
    MSM - not so much

    whatevs! not like anyone cares about Economy or War anymore

    look at the New Shiny Object

  38. I know it’s been said before but, Kristol has a vagina too… On his face!

  39. you demotards in washington just don’t get it do you? when kristol’s talkin about obama’s lack of experience, it’s neocode ™ for NEGRO, as in uppity (or, as palin is reported to have said, “sambo”).
    palin’s lack of experience is more than compensated for by two factors: 1) her whiteself and 2) the fact that she has enough “sense” to be a republican.

  40. AmericanValues says at 5:19 pm, September 8th, 2008

    4tehlulz: Exactly my thoughts. Neoconservatives want the *least* experienced person they can find to mold like playdough.

  41. magic titty says at 5:22 pm, September 8th, 2008

    dougbob: black people are never qualified, and if it wasnt for affirmative action, Wilt Chamberlain would have only been 6′2.

  42. 4tehlulz says at 5:24 pm, September 8th, 2008

    AmericanValues: Except with Sarah Palin, they probably would try to mold her boobs first.

    Not that I’d blame them.

    Hadassah Lieberman must have Joe on a web cam 24/7 to make sure he doesn’t mold her too thoroughly.

    Not that I blame her.

  43. Bill Kristol can tonguejack my shitbox.

  44. Is that rosacea or sebacious dermatitis on Snobilly Kristol’s ugly puss? It’s hard for me to diagnose via the internets. But if he sends me fifty bucks via PayPal, I’ll be glad to give him a prescription for Xanax. That way, it will still itch, but he won’t care.

  45. user-of-owls says at 5:33 pm, September 8th, 2008

    KevoTron: Ah, bueno. Todo en orden con Vaginita. No vamos a tener problema con el Cabeza de Naranja…ni con los sammiches.

  46. Fear of a Black Reagan says at 5:33 pm, September 8th, 2008

    loquaciousmusic: Bill Kristol is electable?

  47. Fear of a Black Reagan says at 5:34 pm, September 8th, 2008

    jimh: From how red his face is in that picture, I’d say he’s nearly hammered enough to do it.

  48. georgia_peach says at 5:39 pm, September 8th, 2008

    dougbob: Very true. Someone should really connect Palin with that douche from Georgia who actually went ahead and used the word “uppitty” to describe Obama. Twice (thanks for being the only news worth watching, Comedy Central). I wish this would get him fired, but knowing Georgia, it will probably get him re-elected instead.

    magic titty: Yes, and Walter Payton would have only 42 rushing yards.

  49. kellygrrrl says at 5:39 pm, September 8th, 2008

    I think all Americans can agree:

    anything that Dick Cheney or Karl Rove or Bill LiverLips says - DO THE EXACT OPPOSITE

  50. Sean O: I think the proper slogan is “The usual GANG of idiots.”

  51. RuperttheBear says at 5:44 pm, September 8th, 2008

    HomoPolitico: As someone who has a penis,I can tell what is and isn’t actually a penis, and William Kristol is a penis.

  52. helzapoppn says at 5:54 pm, September 8th, 2008

    Meh to all that…

    Don’t you think she looks tired?

    Just sayin’.

  53. DangerousLiberal says at 6:26 pm, September 8th, 2008

    Bill Kristol is a douche.

    There–I feel better. Cleaner, even, dare I say, fresher?

  54. At the bottom of the NYT article is a disclaimer that a “version of this article appeared in print…” yada yada yada which means, of course, that the Times has had to scrub this toads column yet again!!! I think they removed the paragraph where he referred to himself as a “…waddling limp-wristed toady whose bent and puckered torso is only useful as a repository for the malign hysteria of Jeff Gannon.”

  55. IOIYANAN - It’s Okay If You’re Not a Nigra

  56. madirishman says at 6:43 pm, September 8th, 2008

    So, how much did the Republicans pay Bill Kristol to become their bitch? If you’re going to give up what little dignity and integrity you have to take part in the GOP gang-bang, then you might as well soothe your conscience with a whole LOT of Benjamins.

  57. “What a stunning paragraph to come from Bill Kristol, because this is ALL TRUE.”

    Hold the spit-take. Actually, it’s not true. Truman had been a US senator for something like 10 years before FDR picked him for VP.

  58. regisgoat says at 9:16 pm, September 8th, 2008

    user-of-owls: Orangehead is a fine nickname for him, since Pumpkinhead has too much stature, somehow…

  59. Dane Wayne says at 9:22 pm, September 8th, 2008

    As an Independent, I see these two, Obama and McCain and their VP’s as just four people. Once elected, while in the bully pulpit, they can only do so much without Congress.

    Our Country is in the clusterfarked condition that it is in because of the ineptitude and greed of too many people in both political parties and not enough Statesmen.

    That being said, I’m going to come to Kristol’s defense a little.

    We’ve had enough lawyers and “professional or seasoned” politicians in Washington D.C. We need more people like Palin to server; provided however, her brain doesn’t get sucked out of her head as soon as she gets to D.C. as often seems to be the case with those elected (often a by product of $$$ bills being stuffed in to their pockets).

    A good example of the money swirling around is the donations made by Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac to members of both sides of the aisle, a private entity F/F backed by our money, given favorable financial tools to be more competitive in in the loan market with limited accountability. Look what the “experts” in Washington have done with that?

    One thing I know as a Chicagoian, while those in D.C. are not as pure and white as the driven snow as I have stated above, Obama is a product of the Daley Machine in Chicago that dictates Illinois politics. And, one thing we don’t need in Washington is Daley, Madigan, Blagoevich, Stroger or Jones remotely having any significant influence on those in D.C or getting close to the sums of money available at F/F or other places in D.C.

    I would say the exact same thing if it were Republican Gov. George Ryan (in prison now) or a protege of his running for office.

  60. Here are the resumes…maybe not complete…but still shows that Kristol and his “experience apologists” still don’t get it:

    TEDDY ROOSEVELT
    New York Assemblyman
    United States Civil Service Commission
    New York City Police Commission
    New York Governor
    Assistant Secretary of the Navy
    Vice President of the United States
    President of the United States
    Nobel Peace Prize recipient
    On Mount Rushmore!

    CALVIN COOLIDGE
    City Council of Northampton
    Northampton City Solicitor
    Massachusetts House of Representatives
    Mayor of Northampton
    Massachusetts State Senator
    Massachusetts Lieutenant Governor
    Governor of Massachusetts
    Vice President of the United States
    President of the United States
    Has the “Coolidge Effect” named for him YOWSAH!
    [link]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coolidge_effect[\link]

    HARRY TRUMAN
    Judge in Jackson County, MO
    Missouri’s director for the Federal Re-Employment Program (WPA)
    US Senate
    Vice-President of the United States
    President of the United States

    LYNDON JOHNSON
    Texas National Youth Administration (WPA. Gasp! Community Organizer)
    US Congressman from Texas
    US Senate (Eventually Majority Leader)
    Vice-President of the United States
    President of the United States

  61. CanadianBacon says at 11:05 pm, September 8th, 2008

    `Canada’s National Post now has a column by Conrad Black. If there is a God perhaps Bill Kristol will get an opportunity to follow in Conrad’s footsteps.

  62. Bill Kristol you fish mouthed bastard, I hope Sarah Palin goes ice fishing and catches you, and then feeds you to her 5000 down syndrome babies.

  63. Daveandemmy says at 12:25 am, September 9th, 2008

    Wow…just signed on to this blog. Thought there might be somewhat serious conversations but this is just a bunch of liberals sitting around spouting half-thruths, unchecked rumors, erroneous assumptions…for their own self-aggrandizement.
    Nothing to be learned here. CYA!

  64. Daveandemmy says at 12:33 am, September 9th, 2008

    So sorry…Self-aggrandizement was a poor choice of words.

    Resentiment is more aptly descriptive.

  65. Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star says at 1:24 am, September 9th, 2008

    From There’s Something about Mary:

    “I thought you said she was a spark plug!”

    “No, no. I said butt plug.”

  66. slinkimalinki says at 2:16 am, September 9th, 2008

    Dane Wayne: when you say “to server” you mean “to act as a waitperson at olive garden”, right?

  67. toastandlove says at 7:27 am, September 9th, 2008

    Actually the only thing Sarah Palin has ever said about foreign policy is, “I don’t really think about that much.”

    She then giggled, and added, “I leave hard stuff like that up to the menfolk. Who’s up for some Extreme Endangered Species Helicopter Hunting?” And her 300 children jumped up and down shouting “ME ME ME ME ME” the end.

  68. YellowSnow says at 9:15 am, September 9th, 2008

    Dane Wayne: Are you referring to the Snowbilly brain that things the government was like:

    Asked about the housing collapse and emergency government takeover of mortgage giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, Sarah Palin said they had “gotten too big and too expensive to the taxpayers.”

    Yeah we need more home-economists around and less real economists.

  69. angrymommy says at 2:45 pm, September 9th, 2008

    maybe she can be vp of alaska.

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