boom-boom

Andrea Mitchell Nearly Killed By John McCain’s War Balloons

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Here is the highlight of John McCain’s big acceptance speech extravaganza last night: that time Andrea Mitchell was nearly murdered in a sneak balloon attack, and all of her supposed “friends” on the MSNBC coolly mocked her and called her “Boom Boom,” which is code for “old-timey boxing hero cut down in her prime by elitist balloons.” It is always a tragedy, for America, when news anchors have to interact with the physical world. [YouTube]

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Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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Comments

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  • Miller

    Worse still, Tom Ridge ditched her to go to the safe confines of Brokaw and Williams cocoon of needles, specially concocted to shield them from McCain’s night of a billion balloons. That was his theme last night, right? America gets a free balloon?

    http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

  • iwillsavethispatient

    Some people pay good money for that… I’m led to believe.

  • columnv

    He is such a fascist.

  • Sire Says

    Hey, I think I found the creative geniuses behind McCain’s bio video and his speech.

  • S. Cullen Bonz

    There goes the Catholic vote. They thought they were condoms.

  • Canuckledragger

    I’m surprised they opted for balloons. Juan still has nightmares from when he piloted the Hindenburg. Oh the humanity!

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=87386]Canuckledragger[/re]: The real reason Flight 93 didn’t make it to D.C.?
    Guess who was driving.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …McCains geriatric balloons vs. Obama’s Greek Firworks!

    Walnuts! had to make sure he used something that would cause half his base to go into cardiac arrest.

  • Vanity Smurf

    Balloon Bukakke.

  • goofyeyedterrorist

    What a missed opportunity for her. Had she been killed she would have automatically been elevated to the status of Earnie Pyle. That’s as close to being a journalist as she’ll ever be.

  • liquiddaddy

    “Boom Boom” is vaudeville-ees for drunken washed-up stripper.

  • Wee Mousie

    On the other hand, you have to admire the the balloon barrage’s dead on symbolism of RNC platform: the thin skin of a patriotic facade, filled with a substance that is more insubstantial than air.

  • MarineMustang

    War balloon?

    http://images.wikia.com/avatar/images/6/62/War_balloon.JPG

    ZOMG McCain is the Fire Lord!

  • loquaciousmusic

    Ironically enough, John McCain was nearly killed by Andrea Mitchell’s sweater balloons.

  • Cape Clod

    Big Deal, Andrea. Try interviewing a Golden Lab who won’t let go of your microphone if you want to prove you’ve got some journalistic chops.

  • Rush

    99 luft balloons

  • Jingo

    [re=87385]S. Cullen Bonz[/re]: You were right they are condoms. This is another propaganda tool by the religious right who orchestrated the prophylactics in such a way as to appear as if they were attacking poor Andrea Mitchell. The real abuse did not begin until she stepped outside and was greeted by a hailstorm of birth-control pills. She ducked them bravely as she ran to her newsvan, but wiped out just yards from safety when she slipped on a slick of spermicidal lubricant. The obvious message is that contraceptives are dangerous. This complements their other message that women, young and old, should rejoice in accepting sperm into themselves, much like they should accept Jesus into themselves… umm, just not at the same time. Jesus ain’t one for settling down. He don’t want no little Jeeslets roaming around asking for money and miracles.

  • S. Cullen Bonz

    [re=87500]Rush[/re]: Ah, 1983. Memories, memories…

  • S. Cullen Bonz

    [re=87509]Jingo[/re]: Thank god they weren’t coat hangers showering down on her.

  • lawrenceofthedesert

    This entire avoidable episode began when Greenspan refused to take her to Chuck E. Cheese.

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    Why doesn’t the next RNC just fucking do it live in a big vat of balls?

  • TGY

    [re=87589]lawrenceofthedesert[/re]: Greenspan fought inflation for a long time, too.

  • topshelfdogfood
  • snig

    It was a promo for the upcoming “The Prisoner” movie

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJXP67IhK54

  • frankenliberal

    Actually, her husband, Allan Greenspan, arranged to have her snuffed out. He has a huge insurance policy with a “Death-by-Balloon rider” for treble damages.

  • TheRealJimbo

    Conventioneers were stabbing balloons with knives. She should be thankful she didn’t get shanked.