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Here is the highlight of John McCain’s big acceptance speech extravaganza last night: that time Andrea Mitchell was nearly murdered in a sneak balloon attack, and all of her supposed “friends” on the MSNBC coolly mocked her and called her “Boom Boom,” which is code for “old-timey boxing hero cut down in her prime by elitist balloons.” It is always a tragedy, for America, when news anchors have to interact with the physical world. [YouTube]

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26 COMMENTS

  1. …McCains geriatric balloons vs. Obama’s Greek Firworks!

    Walnuts! had to make sure he used something that would cause half his base to go into cardiac arrest.

  2. What a missed opportunity for her. Had she been killed she would have automatically been elevated to the status of Earnie Pyle. That’s as close to being a journalist as she’ll ever be.

  3. On the other hand, you have to admire the the balloon barrage’s dead on symbolism of RNC platform: the thin skin of a patriotic facade, filled with a substance that is more insubstantial than air.

  4. [re=87385]S. Cullen Bonz[/re]: You were right they are condoms. This is another propaganda tool by the religious right who orchestrated the prophylactics in such a way as to appear as if they were attacking poor Andrea Mitchell. The real abuse did not begin until she stepped outside and was greeted by a hailstorm of birth-control pills. She ducked them bravely as she ran to her newsvan, but wiped out just yards from safety when she slipped on a slick of spermicidal lubricant. The obvious message is that contraceptives are dangerous. This complements their other message that women, young and old, should rejoice in accepting sperm into themselves, much like they should accept Jesus into themselves… umm, just not at the same time. Jesus ain’t one for settling down. He don’t want no little Jeeslets roaming around asking for money and miracles.

  5. Actually, her husband, Allan Greenspan, arranged to have her snuffed out. He has a huge insurance policy with a “Death-by-Balloon rider” for treble damages.

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