If only John McCain had learned about the Internet before he chose Sarah Palin — so much “cyber vetting” could’ve happened. Instead, a bunch of hungover libtard bloggers are using their favorite friend (the Internet) to dig up all kinds of half-ass semi-comical crimes committed by that beloved Alaskan anger-bear, Sarah Palin.
From the official Alaska state courts’ website, we have learned that our former GILF/VPILF is basically getting arrested all the time for dumb redneck bullshit, exactly like you’d expect:
- In June of 1993, Sarah was charged with C/F W/O PHOTO ID — a charge that was later, suspiciously, dismissed. “C/F” stands for “Caribou Fucking.”
- Just two days later, charges were filed against Sarah Palin for CRIM NEG FAIL REG NT, which actually translates to “criminal negligence fail register NT.” We don’t know what “NT” stands for — “Nutcase”? “Walnuts”? It probably involved destroying the environment.
- And just a few years ago, in November 2004 when she was supposedly a responsible member of society with four kids, she was cited for the unforgivable snowbilly crime of TINTED WINDOWS, which is the inexplicable thing all rednecks do their vehicles, the illegal window tint film shit you buy down at the dubious car-stereo/rims shop.
Thanks to Wonkette Operative “Will P.” for finding these particular gems.