Here are the current Top Headlines at Bloomberg:

  • Payrolls in U.S. Fall More Than Forecast; Jobless Rate at Five-Year High
  • Mortgage Foreclosures in U.S. Rise at Fastest Pace in Almost Three Decades
  • U.S. Stocks Decline After Unemployment Rate Unexpectedly Increases to 6.1%
  • Merrill Lynch Cut to `Sell’ at Goldman; Credit-Market Writedowns May Rise
  • Gabelli Says Investors Have Good Reason to Worry About Earnings Next Year
  • McCain Vows to Change Washington, ‘Restore’ Republican Party’s Principles
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  • naveed

    The markets had already precollapsed before his stupendous nomination speech. It was the anticipation.

  • Serolf Divad
  • JadedDIssonance

    McCain just called Todd Palin “Crazy.”

  • Scarab

    Yeah a total economic collapse but you know, “fundamentally strong.”

  • SayItWithWookies

    So as the economy collapses, demand for cheap, tasteless beer will increase, and the cost of hiring a cabana boy will plummet. This is wonderful news, as all red-blooded Americans own beer distributorships and have multiple swimming pools in need of constant maintenance.

  • Scarab

    McCain Vows to Change Washington, ‘Restore’ Republican Party’s Principles
    … after eight years of Republican administration.

  • Strictly for the Tardcore

    Well, considering conservative economic theory is what got us into this mess, McCain saying he was going to bring back “Republican principles” caused a panic. A “mental recession” if you will.

  • Borat

    Umm I wonder if this has more to do with dumping lots of money on a stupid war – increasing spending like never before.

    Or it could be that if the VPILF takes over we are not yet prepared for a meth lab economy.

    Either way its only a matter of time before the Chinese and Arabs foreclose.

  • dano

    Any time now we’ll all be drivin’ across the country in Ford Model-Ts looking for work “Grapes of Wrath” style.

  • tunamelt

    [re=86857]dano[/re]: STAY OUT OF CALIFORNIA, YOU OKIES!

  • Strictly for the Tardcore

    [re=86856]Borat[/re]: WalNUTS! just read that and said “Wait… we eventually have to pay those guys off?”

  • trophy(forparticipation)wife

    All I wanna do is. . . pop, pop, pop, pop and a, and take your money.

  • Serolf Divad


    Are you NUTS!? With gas prices this high?! No, my friend. We’ll all be cycling or cross-country skiing in search of work (yes, even if there’s no snow on the ground we’ll be cross country skiing… that’s how much it will suck).

  • NoWireHangers

    Time to roll out Trickle Down Economics! Republican principles, people!

  • StrangelyBrown

    Don’t forget yesterday’s articles on the dramatic rise of suicides in the armed forces this year.

  • tunamelt

    So then applying to grad school would be a good decision, yes?

  • OzoneTom

    After the market closed with about a 350 point loss yesterday, commentators were saying that they could attribute it to no specific cause.

    My theory is that the fawning response to Gov. Palin’s debut in the press made a lot of reality-based investors go “OMG! They really could get into the White House and complete the destruction of the economy.”

    Just my 0.1404 Euro…

  • ManchuCandidate

    “The economy tanking is not my fault! I spent 5 and 1/2 years as POW and missed learning about economics!”

  • Strictly for the Tardcore

    [re=86868]NoWireHangers[/re]: To add to AngryBlakGuys list of Repub code words:

    Trickle-Down Economics = Shit rolls downhill, and we need to keep the money up here so we don’t get shit all over it.

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    That’s not change we can believe in. (Seriously, it isn’t; pretty much same song from the last 8 years.)

  • shortsshortsshorts

    Good morning everyone. Fuck Reagan.
    Have a nice day.

  • trophy(forparticipation)wife

    [re=86886]Strictly for the Tardcore[/re]: The money at the top is disappearing quickly.

  • ManchuCandidate

    It shouldn’t make me smile, but it does.

  • NoWireHangers

    [re=86872]tunamelt[/re]: Not if you need loans to do it. Wait for Barry and hope for better things. Or fake your own death to get out of the undergraduate loans…it’s been on my mind…

  • Miller

    They’re running scared from all the change McCain is bringing in big burlap sacks.

  • trophy(forparticipation)wife

    [re=86907]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I feel you but the fallout of that is so bad. So many people lose their jobs when the richies can’t pay.

  • Strictly for the Tardcore

    [re=86903]trophy(forparticipation)wife[/re]: I understand that, and you understand that, but I don’t think anybody’s told WalNUTS!, Glasses!, Dubya, or Cheney, Huckabee, Mittens, 9iu11iani…

  • whatever_dc

    thought for the day: just think that if the stock market crashes there won’t be any more rich people so john mclame won’t be able to cut taxes after all!!! LIAR!!!

  • jjgittes

    Top headlines on Bloomberg, 2048

    Cannibalism on Rise as Jobless Rate Hits 43%

    Former Foreclosed Exurbs Now Sites for Gladitorial Combat

    Major Banks Start Accepting Deposits of Bits of String, Leaves, Dead Bats

    Uvula Palin Vows to ‘Change’ Washington, ‘Restore’ Republican Party’s Principles

  • masterdebater

    “McCain Nomination Greeted By Economic Collapse”

    Well shit yeah! It’s like some wierd time portal has been placed here so we can see what would have happened if our great, or simply grand, parents would have elected Herbert Hoover! This is a once in a life time opportunity. I may not hve been kidding before. Maybe the right strategy for Barry is to throw this election and let the blame for the comming difficulties fall where they should. Right square on McCranky and his Vice Promqueenedent.

  • Cronopio

    Masterdebated: Yeah, you’re joking, but kind of not. Whoever wins in November is going to inherit one hell of a shitstorm.

  • freppish

    this is good because we want the economy to fail right?


    oh crap

  • The 3-Legged Man

    And in *yawn* related news, the Alaska legislature is going to issue subpoenas to compel testimony from seven key Palin staffers in the “troopergate” inquiry.

    This, you see, is how “open and transparent” is achieved; sort of the way you obtain a confession at Gitmo, except for the disappointing lack of waterboarding.

  • Oscar Folsom Cleveland

    The McSame-Caribou Nation campaign has just released a look at their vision for Four More:

  • DC Spring

    [re=87032]jjgittes[/re]: Platinum!

    Except it’s Q4 2008, not 2048, and headline 3 should be “Last Remaining Bank Accepts…”

    Christmas is cancelled folks.

  • triggaman

    Why is McIdiot even allow to run for president? How many aircraft did the congressman crash?
    See for yourself.

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