Wonkette
Good Morning, America! Did you love your two weeks of political conventions and soaring (or lame) rhetoric? No? Well, Allah has a treat for you! A million more hurricanes are headed to America, to kill everyone. Hanna will destroy wealthy white coastal regions of Georgia and North Carolina and Florida. [AP, CNN]
DEATH AND DESTRUCTION
Back To Your Regularly Scheduled Hurricanes
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If Hannah wipes out Regent law school, that would be change I could believe in.
No climate change…nope…nothing to see here.
McCain vowed to move to the middle because his VP pick has occupied the rapid dogs of the right. Come on, how can a beauty queen be partisan…come on. Come on.
Liveblogging the hurricane from here in the United Southern States of Confederate America:
11:29: Kinda gray outside. The cars in the parking lot look dry and are not airborne. Yet.
[This is why I fought hard for the desk next to the window.]
We’re expecting decent winds and a lot of rain in Baltimore tomorrow. I’m new to the area, so this should be fun! We didn’t have any of this sort of thing in the god-fearin’ middle west.
Surf’s up!
FIGHT! STAND UP! STAND UP AND FIGHT! FIGHT UP UP STAND STAND! STAND STAND STIGHT FIGHT FAND FAND STAND FIGHT UP FIGHT FIGHT!!!!
Oh wait: sorry, wrong thread.
Why do you liberals always pule about climate change whenever there’s a little wind and rain? It’s from God, you unbelieving shitheads.
Your president didn’t attend the convention, just so he could stay in Washington and keep an eye out for this kind of thing…well at least that’s what they said. So really, considering how well it worked out last time, we should all be just fine. He’s going to be doing a heck of a job for y’all! …ah shit, I can’t keep bullshit here. Hide, run, help yourself if you can, and help others if they can’t. Good luck.
Looks like that hurricane is on a track to punish the East Coast liberal elites for whatever it is they’re supposed to be punished for. Particularly Nova Scotia, with their wacky time zones.
This wouldn’t be happening if a Republican administration was in charge. They’d fucking protect us.
Someone commented on this on the speech liveblog…but here’s a new picture that we can all use…http://www.wisestartupblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/mccain-supporters-we-support-him-because-hes-a-m-a-v-r-i-c-k.jpg
I, for one, will welcome our new meteorological overlords.
So I take it from the path of Gustav that God’s OK with the gay sex in New Orleans now?
mookworthjwilson: Is that one of the elderly Americans we can teach to read?
Balt_O_Matt:
If this hurricane’s anything ilke the last hurrican to hit Baltimore, I might have to move the plants off the deck and bring in the seat cushions.
A million hurricanes? Kill everyone? With that kind of hyperbole and your “executive” experience, you’re probably angling for a VP slot. Sorry, but I hear they’re all taken.
mookworthjwilson: On NPR this morning they had the story of the origin of the term “Maverick”… Apparently it was a guy whose last name was Maverick in Texas.. He was a rancher and state congressman. He refused to brand his cows because supposedly he didn’t want to be cruel to his animals, but in reality it was so if there was any cow found without a brand (like a young one before it was branded that got outside the fence), then he could say it was his… John McCain is a true Maverick… i.e. cattle rustler.
11:42: No change. Someone is walking a dog. The dog looks happy. SHOULDN’T HE BE THE FIRST TO KNOW???
Strappo: Seriously, we try to take the credit for everything.
grendel: I heard that! They also call wandering, unbranded cows “Mavericks”. So McCain is an old, nameless cow with Alzheimer’s.
Weather reports all morning on numerous D.C. and Baltimore radio stations, as well as a story in The Washington Post, call for intense rain and wind and possible flash flooding for Saturday literally all along the East Coast–from the Carolinas straight on up to Maine. Probably not an over-reaction, as meteorologists have been tracking Hannah pretty closely. In short terms, it ruins what could usually be relied upon to be one of the nicest beach weekends of the season. So it’s a bummer for beach plans, but a great excuse to veg out all day and night Saturday watching sports or bad movies.
Why do hurricanes hate America?
I was listening to NPR (that’s right, N-fuckin P-fuckin R-muthafucker!) and they did a brief piece on the term political maverick. It seems a congressman from Texas would not brand his cows. He said it was because he didn’t want to hurt the cows. But apparently he would also round up any non-branded cow and claim it as his because his brand was the absence of brand. Local people at the time called him a maverick because of this strategy, a strategy they didn’t like. He was, as I recall, roundly criticized as being the type of person who would use this strategy in politics, namely, take a sypathetic position and then use it for personal and political gain. And I thought, AH HA! If that is the definition of Maverick, then it suit Walnuts just fine.
Oh yeah, and hurricanes are bad.
Serolf Divad: This turkey is heading up the coast following the path of a classic nor’eater with a sub tropical storm high heading directly north through the middle of the Atlantic. The last time such a combo occurred they made a movie about it, “The Perfect Storm” (previously a book and the worst six hours I ever spent commuting home without a blizard). I’m tying down all the furniture, putting the barbque in the garage, hanging the storm shutters. Fortunately, I am almost twenty two feet from the ocean.
I love it when hurricanes get all alliterative.
What’s with all these stupid libruls and NPR?
(disclosure: I spoke with an NPR reporter on the phone this morning. He was looking for a community organizer [like me] who wasn’t a hopester to comment on the palin-ratfucker comments. I couldn’t help him cuz I’ve got a hopersticker on my bike helmet.)
JadedDIssonance: Dammit. You missed a perfect opportunity to give out the new battle cry of the community organizer: Jesus was a community organizer; Pontius Pilate was a mayor. I needs to hear that one on NPR! The fundies heads will all collectively explode.
grendel: er, uh, jinx?
In the next two months the tempest, Sarah, on the N.W. coast will come undone like a double-wide trailer in a hurricane.
JadedDIssonance: Also on NPR this morning: an emailer to the Diane Rehm show said “Jesus was a community organizer. Pontius Pilate was a governor.”
Also, could you please donate some money to our pledge drive?
11:54: No change. Wishing the hurricane had already passed. I need to leave the office to run an errand soon! Pray to Jesus Aeolus for me! Pray harder!
Cogito Ergo Bibo: I still have this guy’s email address…I may have to send an unattributed tip. I think it would play well.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: Was that your email to NPR this morning?
Oh fine, GA and NC get to have wealthy white coastal regions, but not SC? We can have our absurdly large homes destroyed by Nature too, you know!
StripesAndPlaids: By Hecky! Looks like with the right exposure (say drudge report?) we could give the religious right a collective mind-wedgie!
JadedDIssonance: Dude, I am so there.
Godless Liberal *: I thought the same thing. I don’t want a hurricane, but we could use a nice tropical depression for a few days.
Christ, and I had been planning on giving a major political speech in an outdoor stadium in front of 80,000 people on Saturday in Sandwich. I blame the religious right.
StripesAndPlaids: Awesome! We were working that one yesterday afternoon in one of the threads. I didn’t send it in, but clearly someone did. Success!
Cape Clod: Would it be so wrong to pray for a little rain?
God’s Irony.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: it’s the PERFECT insta-snarky comment that so endears me to this site. If I didn’t spend so much time making fun of the soundbyte debates, I’d encourage us to become political speechwriters.
Palin currently speaking at campaign rally. My favorite line? “Our opponents have belittled my experience as a small town mayor. But being a mayor is sort of like being a community organizer, excepte you have actual responsibilities.” Errgghhhh.,
StripesAndPlaids: That’s the comment NPR wanted responses to!! Is there online video? It’d be fun to liveblog it here in the hurricane thread.
thefrontpage: being as how i live in dc i’m gonna stay in bed all day with my books and magazines and several bottles of vodka and read it through. hope the power doesn’t go out!
which reminds me: i’d better get to calvert woodley for some more vodka cause i drank up all 3 cases i had getting through the republiclown convention!
and i bet this is gonna fuck up the u.s. open which doesn’t matter anyway cause tennis is an elitist sport!
I’ve got it on cnn live.
Using change to promote your cynicism? Idealism isn’t supposed to do great things…just think about them.
you guys think you’re so funny. Fuck the plants on the deck and the BBQ in the garage. I live in Jamaica and the WORST thing is when the power goes out and you are without Wonkette for DAYS sometimes.
WadISay: yeah but he’s pissed as hell at the beach music shaggers in myrtle beach
this hurricane stuff is proof that the liberals are in league with the godless chinese communists to control the weather and bankrupt the country.
This is why we must drill here, drill now, and drill often.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: Thanks, bro…that is a wonderful battle cry; I’m going to plagiarize the daylights out of that one…bumper stickers ad nauseum; and I’m a fundie!
I wish McCain would bomb the evil genius who has the hurricane controlling machine. Barack Obama wants to meet with him without pre-conditions! We need action.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Serolf Divad: The local news in the midwest covering a forecast winter storm:
KILLER STORM. WIND. SNOW. DESTRUCTION. DEATH. YOU WILL ALL DIE.
whatever_dc: Are you a woman? Do you want some company? –thefrontpage.
Balt_O_Matt: So you never experienced a tornado while you were out here in the flatlands?
I guess we’re all dead then because President McLain says we’re all Geogians.
You Wonketteers clearly know NOTHING about weather systems.
Hurricanes are massive low pressure systems.
Given the MASSIVE output of HOT air in St. Paul over the last week, any low pressure system coming in off the Atlantic would be blown out to Greenland (or beyond).
We’ll be safe for years - unless Jesus gets angry with Florida again.
(Gov. Crist — PLEASE take that dick out of your mouth!)
Ike is clearly pulling his Aether move, which will drop him right off the map in his usual idiocy.
(Super Smash Bros joke you ancient fossils)