Wonkette
Here’s the four-minute biographical video of Sarah Palin that was supposed to air before her speech last night — had Rudy Giuliani not gone on smearing his rat shit an extra 900 hours more than planned. They should’ve shown this anyway. It seems like something made by actual, civil adults, as opposed to the airless Giuliani-Palin speech twofer that dried the skulls of anyone capable of constructive thought. [TPM Election Central]
Will somebody please tell me who the fuck this Sarah Palin person is? All this video has done for me is desire a trip to Alaska, some day, for some meth.
shortsshortsshorts:
This video just makes want to travel there and be a baby daddy.
Did we mention she was a maverick?
sarah polin is allright!
This video, MAVERICK, really, ALASKA, causes me to, MOOSEHUNTER, vomit, FAMILY.
Also, she totally digs killing moose and eating them.
You know, this whole thing stinks of Karl Rove. The announcement of the daughters pregnancy seems so well planned,like it was designed to instigate a media riot and divert attention away from the fact that McCain votes with Bush 90% of the time and really..George Bush is the reason many want the GOP out of office completely. So how do you keep people from thinking about 8 years of sh*thole politics…oh, I know..make the liberals attack the poor unknown VP candidate and start a media orgy. See how easy it is to make George go away.
sweetits: shit..I forgot to work meth and baby momma in there. bust.
PALIN
BULWINKLE
2012
Is there something vaguely “Dallas”-like about the background score?
You just KNOW the Palin story is eventually going to be some sort of tangled web of moose gutting, baby stealing and trafficking, official misconducting, trooper firing, meth producing, oil drilling, prosituting, stolen car part blackmarketing and cookie baking.
Eh. She’s still a lying, hypocritical whore.
tsunami:
sorry…i called her polin.
i meant palon.
sweetits: Funny you should mention Bullwinkle, since it appears that McCain said, “Hey America, watch me pull a VEEP outta my ass!”
Upthruster: Something is still FISHY up there and I’m not talking about the Alaskan King Crabs…
Johnny Zhivago: I call bullshit. Everyone knows that Rocky’s experience out in the field far surpasses that of Bullwinkle. Besides, Palin would probably hunt Bullwinkle and shoot him down in the back country. She’s quite an accomplished moose hunter.
CARABOU BARBIE ‘08
And I’m really sorry the RNC refused to play this Northern Exposure rerun.
If Palin is elected, will their be moose roaming the lawn of the White House? Will they be trained to savage journalists?
Johnny Zhivago:
No
Palin
Rocky the Flying Squirrel
2012
Bullwinkle was hunted down and made into mooseburgers last year.
“Mother. Moosehunter. Maverick.”
But don’t talk about her being a mother! It’s SEXIST!!!11!!111
shortsshortsshorts:
Damn you.
Is McCain really the “original” maverick? Were there no mavericks before he was born, in 1712?
I like that she experienced a “childhood of family.” SUCK IT, ORPHANS!
And yes, that music is a slowed-down version of the Dallas theme.
Josh Fruhlinger:
According to Scientologists, it would be Xenu.
ManchuCandidate: I never thought I would beat you, sir. Never. My birthday has been good to me.
If I hear “moose” or “maverick” one more time I will personaly shoot and gut a republican.
Josh Fruhlinger: Dude I was TOTALLY thinking that! It’s not exactly the “Dallas” theme, but it’s just close enough to probably lead all kinds of old white guys to start spontanously masterbating over fields of untapped oil reserves.
I have strange urge to want to hunt a polar bear. Am I okay?
Also, they didn’t play the tard card…
Mother, Maverick, Moose-hunter, Barracuda, Pit-bull? Moose-eater. Train wreck.
“— had Rudy Giuliani not gone on smearing his rat shit an extra 900 hours more than planned.”
I think you meant “— had Rudy Giuliani not gone on smearing his rat shit an extra 911 hours more than planned.”
pundit242: It’s totally the theme from Dallas. At least they’re being honest and calling this Convention what it really is - a prime-time television soap opera
do you think she would have a lezzie relationship with hillz? like kind of good/cop bad action?
shortsshortsshorts: How’s the quincenera going anyways?
Borat: I wouldn’t talk about cops around Palin, it’s a bit of a sore subject for her right now.
***BREAKING***
I just got my hands on a video bio for McCain’s original VP pick:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeWfu6qACWU
KevoTron: Pretty average… I got a free beer at lunch and as librul I will of course sodomize my girlfriend this evening while watching McCain ramble and trip over his own words (I am a masochist).
Brace yourselves…
The background music is the theme from Dallas…
…Mayor. Mmmmgovernor. Maverick…
you know if dowd wrote their copy, that super snappy alliteration would have worked out.
Why didn’t McCain pick the woman in the video? She sounds great for VP… much better than that wacko Christian fundamentalist who fire’s her was through politics, doesn’t believe in contraception or prenatal care, wants to censor all library books, wants to make Alaska an independent nation, and lets her teenage kids have orgies in the meth capitol of the largest state in the union.
SUMMER 4 VEEP
Oh, they’ve nominated Mrs. Juneau F. Hockey Puck..such drama!
You know the difference between Sarah Palin and Dick Cheney?… Lipstick
No, not quite. The difference between Darth and Miss Hockey Puck 99 is about 30 odd years..and they are all odd.
Are you all blind? Isn’t it obvious? She is George Bush. Unblinking fundamentalist credulity, mediocre career in politics but savvy enough to work a room, just the sort of tool that is found, groomed, and placed in positions of power and influence. Underestimate her and 2008 will make 2004 look like 1976. George Bush, I tell you, George Bush with boobies. Beware.
I thought James Garner was the original Maverick.
Fuck me yawn a big shitball out of my mouth. Those lowered property taxes shifted the tax burden from rich meth lab land owners to every poor sucker who buys groceries by way of a sales tax increase. Shifting taxes to the poor, Maverick. Roger that.
TexasJon: Totally the theme from Dallas programmed into a $50 Casio keyboard. They went all out for Little Mizz Permafrost.
Why oh why can’t the Dems just produce a video like this. With all the power of Hollywood and Broadway at the party’s fingertips (read a ton of teh geyz) all the D videos look like they were made on an Atari using a 386 processor and narrated by Rue McLanahan. The D’s have to have turd farmers and milk maids and family members. Just do something like this and play it all the time everywhere. Make a simple ad that says, Barak Obama cares more about you than Bill Clinton ever did. John McCain and Sara Palin don’t understand the economy and don’t care to. They are a party of hate and fear and don’t practice what they preach.
This Moose Stew is a thin gruel, but man it makes its point.
Teen pregnancy and shotgun weddings are NOT my family values. Palin’s daughter WANTS to have a baby at 17? Really? Wants to. CHOOSES to. I think the key word here is “choice” — of which she seemingly has none.
What a crowd of weathly, old, ass-backwards thinking, war-loving white folks. I respect McCain and his service and I appreciate Palin’s - spunk. But they and their values aren’t getting my vote.
Side note: Barbie Botox Bleached McCain wore a $313,000 outfit one night (Oscar de La Renta + jewlery). But, hey, they belong to Sam’s Club.