Wonkette
John McCain’s people had about 24 hours to get Levi “Fuckin’ Redneck” Johnston a haircut, a shave, a tailored Italian wool suit, and some invisible duct tape to cover his mouth so that he could NEVER SAY A WORD. Somewhere along the line, however, he skipped out to the one store in Wasilla — a tattoo parlor — to get “Bristol” inked into the skin of his ring finger. Richard Cohen must be furious. [HuffPo]
ICONOCLASTS
How romantic. Too bad his dick is tattooed “To Whom It May Concern.”
classy!
Man, that’s always a mistake. Now he’s going to have another girl’s name on his finger when he leaves her for a meth-whore trailer-slut.
Pure Class.
Strictly for the Tardcore: eh, don’t worry. They can’t read anyway.
and her tramp stamp says “Fill to Level”
Why does the word “K-Fed” keep resonating in my head? Can anyone tell me what it means
Oy, enough about the Alaskan rednecks asshats- rules for drinking to WALNUTS tonite?
SayItWithWookies: You win every damn time. I bow to the power of your snark skillz.
Doglessliberal: jinx.
Levi will be joining the Army late Thursday evening.
1) is that is henna?
2) how much did Walnuts pay him to do that?
Levi’s going to regret that tat when VP Palin sends his ass to Guantanamo for leaving baby mama Bristol.
Haw, wait ’till we see the rest of Mr. “Fuckin’ Redneck”’s tatoos…
At least it’s not in Tolkien elvish…. come on. Cut the kid a break. Just think of the child support he’ll be ponying up each month for that child.
Last night, Palin’s sister admitted to having a “special needs child” and now Triginomitry101 is “special needs” as well. With the Palin genetics and Levi’s mind that’s able to justify a ring tattoo, this poor kid doesn’t stand a chance in four month.
Awesome! To keep bringing the class, maybe they can have their weddsing at the Wasilla Waffle House.
When do we get to make fun of his name?
SayItWithWookies: Epic. Fucking. Win.
irisheyes:
1 drink for the phrase “my friends,” saying Obama’s trying to lose the war, the phrase “socialized medicine,” stumbling over his words badly enough where he has to restart, screwing up geography, or referring to his time as a POW.
2 drinks for “five and half years,” subtly criticizing Obama or Biden’s patriotism, taking a jab at Obama’s experience, or referring to himself as a “reformer”.
FOUR drinks if he makes a sideways racially charged remark at Obama. I swear to God this is going to happen tonight.
And if he calls Barry “patriotic” with no equivocations, drink til you pass out. Game’s over.
Serolf Divad: K-Fed stands for “OK, Fed up of these people now”.
irisheyes: Everytime he embarassingly laughs and no-one else does, chug.
Of course he had to mark the spot of first penetration
No, you guys are seeing this all wrong.
The McCain camp made him get that tattoo so they could zero in on it to prove the boy loves Bristol.
Family values, yes, family values are alive and well in republican, trailer-park land.
Give the whole damn clan a three minute standing ovation.
magic titty: I don’t think we get to. “Levi” kind of gets lost when we’re talking about kids named “Track” and “Bristol”.
Man, Levi is so Bristol-whipped…
Well, it’s better than just drawing an engagement ring with a Scripto, I guess. Doesn’t she have to have Levi tatooed on her fnger now, or else the engagement is null and void?
Borat: It was done with a Bic medium-point (and a lot of crying) by the Steve Schmidt on the flight from Juno. McMethbilly’s real tat is on his upper bicep. It says “I Heart Sarah”.
Gopherit v2.0: I thought that was performance art at first
Oh gag me. The fundies will be creaming their pants over this one.
pondscum: Winner!
I suppose that replaced the bullshit purity ring he was likely wearing.
Gopherit v2.0:
where the hell did you get those pix of my sister’s wedding?
Serolf Divad: AK-Fed
You see? This is another reason why politicians should never have children. Little bastards are always shovin’ a wrench into the Wheels of Personal Advancement. And for Sarah Palin, that’s a lot of potential wrench-shoving or somesuch.
Barry’s lucky his daughters are still to young to hold too heavy a wrench.
Strictly for the Tardcore: You mean leave her for another meth-whore trailer-slut.
Tawmn: FTW! Oh shit… too funny…
ManchuCandidate: That’s ok, she’ll bite his finger off first
Oof. I’ll be on the floor before TDS even starts…
NoWireHangers: Ding, ding, ding!
In the Assembly of God church of Wasilla that’s called safe sex with a minor. Not a real sin. If it were, the pews would be empty.
Given what “Bristol” means in cockney rhyming slang, I would say she is aptly named.
SayItWithWookies: Close! Word is his dick is tatooed: “Welcome to Wasila, Alaska, Have a Nice Day!
Yeah, and she’s got “All Aboard” tattooed on her girly bits, i bet!
Strictly for the Tardcore: iwillsavethispatient: Oof. I’ll be on the floor before TDS even starts…
irisheyes: Well, you cannot use “my friends” or you will be shitfaced 5 minutes in.
The tattoos are like marks on a dip stick. He has one on his wrist that says ‘Amber’ and another on his fore arm that says ‘Brandon’. [ Ooh, did I HAVE to go there? ]
masterdebater: If she’d had “Enter Here” tattooed on her ass, all this could have been prevented.
hey, is her nickname “Bris”? That would have boner-quashing effects on certain demographics, though I don’t think so with this moran. No way she’d be allowed to marry a Jew.
Is that his ring finger or his middle finger?
SayItWithWookies: In a thousand years, they* will still be hooting about this in the Library of Congress.
*the giant radioactive cockroaches, who will all be named either Todd or Sarah.
Wonder what’s tattooed on Bristol’s Bay.
Strictly for the Tardcore: Yeah, what’s the Track business anyway? Was it between that and Stapler? Fucking retardeds.
Strictly for the Tardcore: “No no, this is Bristol, uhh, England.”
magic titty: Maybe they were planning to name their second child “Field”?
FINALLY somebody got a stupider tattoo than me.
Wonkette. I just can’t take it. This shit is freaking me the fuck out. I need a fucking valium or twelve. (and I’m talking about politics not the new layout. Is it going to stay this way until 9.26?)
magic titty, Godot: I think they were going to name the second kid “Mark”.
Tacky, tacky, tacky!
Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig. She’s no Angelina Jolie, but Track and Trig deserve an honorable mention in the “names from imaginary cowboy movies” category.
btw, I heard the National Enquirer insinuated that Governor “gladiator vagina” is having it off with somebody other than her snowmobile racing hot Toddie. Any info, real or otherwise, on that one?
I thought children were off limits, dammit! Or is there just a bag limit?
gurukalehuru: She is having an affair with the Eskimo version of baby Jesus.
There is no surer way of dooming a relationship than to tattoo the name of your beloved on your body. Ask any tattooist.
NoWireHangers: hahaha… He now wishes that is the mark of his ONLY penetration…. unless of course, Bristol was really giving him a hand job in the balcony..
KevoTron: What is your stupid tattoo? Is it an advertisement for Choke?
Strictly for the Tardcore: Yes, or she might have just tried some of that “abstinence only” sex ed. Oh, wait.
tunamelt: I can’t bring myself to fess up to it. Let’s just say you’ve been cheated on/dumped and are drunk/high… this is NOT the time to rush out and get inked.
The stupidest tattoo ever? I have a friend who woke up on his floor one morning with “Ho’s Love It” on his ass. Even worse still… the H is all stretched out because he flinched when the gun hit the flesh. Poor guy.
regisgoat:
He is safe! (unlike someone dating a Mary, or a Sarah) He can tell future girlfriends or goomahs that he just loves Bristol. They will think he is talking about one of the towns with that name……
Ha ha, he was totally wearing that suit last night like it was the first time he ever wore one. A guy can just tell. It’s hilarious.
regisgoat: Sure there is! Marrying a republican politician. Not in the typical divorce type way…no the far worse way of being unable to divorce or leave the lying, not-so-secretly gay, child molesting, bathroom foot tapping husband that makes you stand behind him in oh-so-awkward I-hope-my-mother-isn’t-watching moments that sucks at your soul and makes you wish for death
KevoTron: Oh, I think I have the winner on stupid tattoos. But at least I had the good sense to do my ex’s name in a foreign language, and put it where the sun don’t shine.
And he’s going to have the mullet tattooed into the back of his neck…
SayItWithWookies: There really is no way to top this comment. I vote we shut this post down now.
Since it’s tiny and all, the laser removal won’t hurt so much after McCain-Palin crashes and burns Nov. 4 and Levi gets back to business fucking anything moves in the Mat-Su valley.
His other tattoo says “Welcome to Alaska and Have a Nice Day” but you’re never gonna see it. Okay, so Bristol has obviously seen it.
Ooops. Apologies to Sayitwithwookies….didn’t read my way down.
Mr. Herpes:
No she hasn’t seen it! she is a good republican slut, she does it under she sheets with the lights off.
he probs got that tat in the spring when these two crazy kids really did tie the knot.
wonder if he has his son’s name TRIG across his chest.
BTW, when do we get to see Sarah’s TRAMP STAMP?
Strictly for the Tardcore: one should be more careful when child-naming: Trig the Tard, Bristol likes a fistful of crystal (true story), I’d like to Pipe-her, I heard he likes it up the back-Track.
I want to meet Levi’s family, bring em to St.Paul !!!
That isn’t a tattoo, it’s a stigmata. Some people spontaneously generate the scars of the crucifiction. The Holy Spirit automatically generated the name of the town in Connecticut where ESPN is located. Why? Who knows. The Lord works in mysterious ways.
This is the best story ever. The whole thing. First, everyone announces Monday that her kids are “off limits” and even get Barry to buy in. Right, “kids are off limits”. Oh, but wait, well, her kids are now on limits. And the redneck boyfriend, flown in special for his future ex-monster-in-law’s address to the nation (and a hateful address at that) is in an ill-fitting suit, fresh haircut and bizarre behavior by the candidate for Preznit of the US with his feeling and grabbing here and there.
The sorry thing in all this is that, even for the non-faithful Republicans and Independents, this shit resonates. They had a sister who had a baby at 18 or they like this woman’s moxie in “taking on DC” even when she was lined up to get her share of the pork, work on Uncle Ted’s 527, ban books, fire enemies, endanger her special needs child by keeping it in utero with a clench that could grind espresso. Her white trashism just makes the Obamas of Fancy Pants Blvd, Chicago, IL seem even more haighfalutin and “out of touch”. I still think the Dems can win on an economic message and painting the whole thing as a Bush/McCain failure, but don’t forget, Dan Quayle served one term as VP.
S. Cullen Bonz: Well, hockey season is on the way and maybe ESPN will report a score…that might be a part of God’s plan. I’ve also asked the two hockey players I know if they have ever impregnated a governor’s daughter and they said “no.”
Does it make me bisexual if he uses the hand with the Bristol tattoo when we’re together?
just wondering…
Meth, pot, and the voice from hell - she is Karen Walker - only stupid.
rocktonsammy: I saw an interview with Levi’s mom. Let’s just say the apple doesn’t far from the tree although it looks like she’s showing meth effects more than he is. I’m sure we’ll see him catching up when he’s stuck with that woman as a mother-in-law.
He could do a reverse-Johnny Depp, after breaking up with the obviously fecund showbilly rabbit:
Bristol-Myers Squib
After this week, Levi-Strauss Howard Johnston could benefit from B-MS’s Abilify®…
ReasonablePerson: I was hoping to hear Levi’s future Mother-in LAW HAVE AT LEAST
REFERENCED THAT HE DID SHOOT ONE IN THE NET, WOULD HAVE BEEN GREAT WITH THE nAZI BULLDOG/LIPSTICK COMMENT
In fairness, her rack is completely poppin’ in those pictures. Homeboy needs to lock that down.
One of the many, many wise things said by that sage of our times, Jimmy Buffet: “Tattoos are a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”