Wonkette
As we were leaving the convention last night, we were diverted down a sinister staircase to this creepy row of Republican Death-Litters. Every night these fill up a hundred times with the decrepit and infirm, and they are wheeled out and replaced with waxen robots chanting “ZERO! ZERO!” who dance to terrible country tunes until they run out of tobacco juice. [YouTube]
Are you saying you were not arrested for taking a picture of this high-security operation for potential snarky terririst use? Please turn yourselves in at once.
Those stretchers are sexist.
WALNUTZ! isn’t the only one in that hall that could stroke out at any minute. They must be prepared.
Maybe they were hoping Sarah’s speech would lead dozens of people to faint in rapture. Beatlemania with diabolical influences.
Damn liberals forcing their health care on America’s people.
Hey this is random but did anyone see any Latinos in the crowd last night?
Any more then three blacks?
SORRY THAT WAS SEXIST OF ME.
…the paramedics were there to resuscitate anyone who drowned from the flood of bull-shit coming out of Rudy 9ui11ian’s and Sarah Palins mouths!
Guess they figured someone was probably going to be popping out a kid or having a stroke or heart attack. Good thing they were prepared.
Shit, McCain went FIVE and ONE HALF YEARS without a stretcher!
I’m surprised they didn’t have more stretchers. What with the odds of any of the following happening:
-A righteous flood from Our Lord washing away the GOP
-Palin’s water breaks on a 6th child, washing away the GOP
-Rudy’s lisp-spit washing away the GOP
-WALNUTS! wets his diaper, washing away the GOP
There were a credit card machines on those carts, right? No free rides, bitches! Pay your way like the McCains!
Those are just for show. McCain has taken to faking a heart attack whenever he gets asked about the vetting for Palin. He grabs his chest, falls down, the “paramedics” rush over and cart him away. It’s easier than answering.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Y’all watch yer backs and get outta there, don’t let any of the stoopid get on you!
NoWireHangers: The way the conventioneers reacted last night, if Palin broke water, they’d have treated the amniotic fluid like Water from Lourdes. By which, I mean they’d have sold it on E-bay. Chris Matthews would have bought some for his sad, bald cranium.
Wait. They’re getting free medical care? I knew there was a reason they didn’t care about the rest of us!
Oh, and CindyLou’s dress/earrings/watch/shoe combo from her speech on Monday rings in at about $300K, says Vanity Fair:http://www.vanityfair.com/online/politics/2008/09/cindy-mccains-300000-outfit.html Elitists.
shortsshortsshorts: I think I saw one. He was holding a sign that said “Hispanties 4 McCain”. He might have meant Hispanics, but it’s hard to say with GOPers.
As I look at those stretchers and read the words in this blog I’m reminded of what an incredible woman Sarah Palin is, what an incredible speech she gave last night, and how impressed the entire universe is with her. She stands for everything I have ever thought. I have utterly transformed as a human being. She gave me the red meat I so richly deserve and reminded me to keep my attention on hating things with have no substance and over that which I have no control. She makes me feel so good about being different than anyone else who has ever lived on this planet! In particular I’m so much better than all those people on the angry left!
DoctorCulturae: That wasn’t red meat….it was an anal penetrator. Easy to mistake, given the circumstances.
Dang it! Need a space to make an active link. Cindy drops $300K to look purty during Monday’s speech:
http://www.vanityfair.com/online/politics/2008/09/cindy-mccains-300000-outfit.html
I assumed it was some kind of organ harvesting operation:
http://i1.iofferphoto.com/img/item/312/802/61/Coma_(1978).jpg
If WALNUTS! kicked the bucket today, would Nanookie automatically become the candidate?
shortsshortsshorts:
Well there was one guy that sorta looked like a messican,
but then I slapped my tv and he turned out to be white.
Is that what you were asking about?
Cogito Ergo Bibo: And she still looked like a gussied up banana.
Vanity Smurf: What’s the difference between a Stepford wife and an avalanche?
Lipstick.
Stretcher? I don’t even KNOW her. I am so sexist.
Vanity Smurf: Mmmmm….. banannas and walnuts. Light it on fire for your very own Publican Banannas Foster.
Ze-ro!, ze-ro!, ze-ro!, ze-ro!, zeig heil!, ze-ro!, ze-ro!… oh, sorry. I was having a flashback of last night’s hate fest.
jerryw: I think that pretty much sums up the convention. Good luck with those hispanic votes, Walnuts.
Oh wait we are a retarded country.
DAMN!
The stretchers are there to carry away the snake handlers, silly.
“They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.”
The gurney is for when John Dickerson faints in ecstasy during Palin’s speech.
That’s not a medical stretcher, you dumbshits. If Sarah had failed to “click” with the crowd, they were going to drag a Texas death row inmate on stage and do him right there on national TV to “draw a line in the sand” with those liberal lefties in the DNC. Fortunately for Joe Bob Ratchett, Sarah got the Dentugrip delegates on their feet and howling for Obama’s skin. Literally.
Strappo: phony beatlemania has bitten the dust
If elected, I pledge to you that our nation’s zombie robots will NEVER run out of tobacco juice. We will drill, drill, drill inside the skull of every Nashville singer and every minor league baseball coach until our nation’s tobacco juice supply is assured for this generation and for generations to come.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: That c*nt looked like a trollop.
Mr. Herpes:
well, maybe…but not in the original color.
I need one of those stretchers.
This does explain those audio-animatronics and that coyboy-hat-on/coyboy-hat-off routine they do so well.
Botswana Meat Commission FC: Dickerson is the most boring writer at Slate–a singular distinction!
Verbal lobotomy recovery stretchers.
They were hoping that Walnuts’ cheek would finally give birth and have a little cheek baby to show off and pass around tonight so that Meaghan could lick her hand and stroke its wittle node-ums.
Oh, you silly people. They aren’t awaiting WALNUTS! stroke. Those stretchers are for Cindy, in case she “breaks” another arm or faints from her anorexia. One for her and one for her jewelry.
user-of-owls: Who’s calling?