DAILY BRIEFING  8:59 am September 4, 2008

Updates From Your All-Sarah-Palin News Network

by Sara K. Smith

  • Here it is, your quadrennial dose of “Why aren’t there any black people in the Republican party?” [Washington Post]
  • Sarah Palin chirped out a bunch of depressing, angry class-war claptrap before an enthusiastic audience at the Republican National Convention last night. [Wall Street Journal]
  • More terrible hurricanes gather in the Bahamas. [Reuters]
  • Dick Cheney went to Georgia to promise them that some other (vice) president would get them into Nato, someday. [BBC]
  • Sarah Palin sent emails to that trooper who wouldn’t fire her brother-in-law complaining about how he wouldn’t fire her brother-in-law — a man who sounds like a certifiable creep, which granted does not make him unique among state troopers. [Washington Post]
  • Here is the word from Sarah Palin’s hometown newspaper on what all her experience “commanding” the Alaska National Guard adds up to (slightly less than a hill of beans). [Anchorage Daily News]
 
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{ 45 comments }

Serolf Divad September 4, 2008 at 9:01 am

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin went straight at the critics of her vice-presidential nomination, using an intensely watched national address to portray her experience as governor as sufficient, her time as a small-town mayor as an asset, and the attacks on her record as the work of an elitist media and political establishment.

I wonder what makes her so bitter?

EnBuenOra September 4, 2008 at 9:04 am

Why are black people so racist against Republicans? It’s not fair how Republicans have to take the blame just because black people refuse to join the party and show up to extremely visible public events.

Serolf Divad September 4, 2008 at 9:06 am

“We’ve deployed individuals in state service all over the state under Sarah Palin,” he said. “We had defense men down in Seward for the (Mount) Marathon run doing security.

So basically, she’s got the same sort of national defense credentials as the manager of your local Safeway, who’s also deployed an off-duty cop to provide security for the store. That’s reassuring.

RuperttheBear September 4, 2008 at 9:12 am

She also broke away from her prepared remarks to toss in a joking aside about her life as a mother: “You know the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull?” she asked. “Lipstick.”

HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHA.

You know the difference between a liar and a republican?

4tehlulz September 4, 2008 at 9:15 am

[re=83839]Serolf Divad[/re]: Why are you disparaging Safeway managers? Are you some kind of elitist? I’ll have you know that not only does deploying rent-a-cops equate with managing the U.S. military, but the heavy, major decision whether to use insecticide in the produce aisle is equivalent to managing our nuclear arsenal.

Fuck you Serolf Divad and your elitist friends like Peggy Noonan and Ben Stein.

Lazy Media September 4, 2008 at 9:16 am

[re=83839]Serolf Divad[/re]: Wrong, you sexist, elitist, it-not-getter. She has the same credentials as the Safeway regional manager, whose store manager deployed the cop and sent him an e-mail once a week documenting the hours.

EnBuenOra September 4, 2008 at 9:18 am

[re=83847]4tehlulz[/re]: I’m sorry. Safeway managers are elitists, because they stock ARUGULA, enemy of all not-elite-kind!!!

Servo September 4, 2008 at 9:21 am
Cogito Ergo Bibo September 4, 2008 at 9:26 am

After Palin managed to pronounce “nuclear” correctly, I started to wonder how they managed to retrain that out of her within a week. Taser? Spankings? Leave it to Rachel Maddow to point out that a good number of words on the teleprompter were phonetically spelled. Ha!

GOP: please, please, PLEASE feed Palin to the Sunday morning talkies. It will be the awesome-ist awesome that ever awesomed.

whiteasasheet September 4, 2008 at 9:27 am

[re=83854]Servo[/re]: Everyone saw it. Unfortunately, apparently no one cares.

4tehlulz September 4, 2008 at 9:27 am

[re=83854]Servo[/re]: Yeah, but I’m sure Ron Fournier will take care of that story soon.

DoctorCulturae September 4, 2008 at 9:29 am

Palin is a red herring.

4tehlulz September 4, 2008 at 9:31 am

[re=83859]DoctorCulturae[/re]: Racist

Serolf Divad September 4, 2008 at 9:38 am

[re=83854]Servo[/re]:

I’ve got this picture of Palin on the phone to her chief of staff:

Palin: Bill? Hello Bill. Yeah. Uhuh. This is Sarah. Yeah. The Governor… yeah, well Bill… hold on a sec, Bill let me speak. No, Bill it seems we’ve got a “mauve” problem here. You know what I’m getting at, right? Yeah… the curtains. I’ve been in office six weeks, and these Goddamned “mauve” curtains are still hanging in my window. I ordered a replacement set in “peach.”So what’s going on, Bill? Bill… Bill… Listen to me, Bill? Without these new curtains I can’t fully concentrate on the people’s business… which means God’s business. Did ya hear me Bill? Bill, It’s God’s Will that I get new curtains. Are you a Christian, Bill?… Uhuh… then why haven’t you seen to it that my Goddamned peach curtains are delivered and hanging? Bill, I’m sensing that you’re not fully supportive of my goals… and you know what happens to government employees who aren’t fully supportive of my goals… Remember Molly down in the pantry?… Yeah, the one who kept buying Dannon yogurt for Trig when I specifically insisted on Yoplait? Bitch is moping up bathrooms in Wal-Mart, and lost her health insurance. It’s God’s will that Trig have Yoplait, Bill. You cross God and… well just don’t be surprised if you find yourself scrubbing toilets at a rest stop. Am I making myself perfectly clear? …huh… yeah, “peach,” Bill… p-e-a-c-h.

user-of-owls September 4, 2008 at 9:48 am

[re=83839]Serolf Divad[/re]: Sure, maybe the rent-a-cop part is not so impressive, but what about this?
Out west and northwest we had erosion problems and the National Guard was involved in some of the protection out there. About three days ago, the Army National Guard picked up a lady from Little Diomede …

Erosion problems?! Ladies that need picking up?! Now that’s what I call strong leadership in a dangerous world!

4tehlulz September 4, 2008 at 9:48 am

[re=83861]Serolf Divad[/re]: You just summarized Joel Osteen nicely. I would bet money she has all of his books.

m_supercomputer September 4, 2008 at 9:52 am

Hopey got another 50 bucks from me after last night’s crazy shit. But, just in case the unthinkable happens, would any Canadians be interested in marrying me so I can get citizenship in your excellent country? Man, woman, I’m desperate enough not to be choosy.

Servo September 4, 2008 at 9:53 am

[re=83861]Serolf Divad[/re]:
“Get me somebody! Anybody! …and get me somebody while I’m waiting!”

The 3-Legged Man September 4, 2008 at 9:58 am

Palin will implode in the next two to three weeks. The Alaska legislative investigation of her is about to become ugly, since today’s revelations have widened a crack that even her supporters can’t ignore. Follow along with Washington Post’s coverage for excerpts of her e-mails the former DPS commissioner released; or Anchorage Daily News coverage of how her p.r. guy decided yesterday it would be “inconvenient” to cooperate with the investigation…..etc.

If McCain had a brain he’d be shaking free of her, despite the shitstorm within his party that would result.

Oh, they’re about to shake up D.C. The laughter will loosen mortar.

L33tminion September 4, 2008 at 10:04 am

“Why aren’t there any black people in the Republican party?”

Integrity.

Servo September 4, 2008 at 10:07 am

[re=83865]user-of-owls[/re]:
There would be no erosion problems if they didn’t force their self-proclaimed divine right to hold dominion over the Earth.

Special Agent Jack Mehoff September 4, 2008 at 10:14 am

[re=83871]m_supercomputer[/re]: Me too man (except it was $25 for me, Elitist scum!) I bet there was a lot of that last night.

Garble September 4, 2008 at 10:26 am

Why don’t black people vote republican?
or
Why don’t black people vote? Republicans.

njdon September 4, 2008 at 10:29 am

this is the gwb legacy. the mccain/palin ticket makes the gwb administration look soooo good. wait ’til they appoint the whole crazy family to their cabinet and other high offices.

Serolf Divad September 4, 2008 at 10:35 am

[re=83913]njdon[/re]:

Seriously, dude. Wait ’till McCain/Palin are elected, and McCain suffers a coronary at his acceptance ceremony and dies on the spot. For the next four years we’ll be referring to the G. W. Bush administration as the “good ol’ days.”

SayItWithWookies September 4, 2008 at 10:47 am

The more I see her speak and read about her actions, the more she sounds like Dick Cheney’s replacement for Dick Cheney. Ready to mislead on day 1.

Servo September 4, 2008 at 10:55 am

Anál nathrach, orth’ bháis’s bethad, do chél dénmha
Anál nathrach, orth’ bháis’s bethad, do chél dénmha
Anything?

Godless Liberal * September 4, 2008 at 10:59 am

[re=83936]Servo[/re]: Thanks a lot. Mola Ram just stole my heart, motherfucker.

flyingspaghettimonster September 4, 2008 at 11:02 am

“THE PEOPLE ALL CALL HER ALASKA” – brilliant reference. This is why I LOVE Wonkette, not only for the hilarious photo tags. (“So Ronery” – I died laughing.)

obfuscator September 4, 2008 at 11:27 am

NPR reported last night that minority representation among RNC delegates is at a whopping 2%.

NoWireHangers September 4, 2008 at 11:36 am

I always feel embarrassed for the African Americans I do see at the RNC Convention (all 5 of them). It must suck to be a photo-op in a room of racists, but if all you care about is your tax break (because really why else would you vote Republican), it’s what you deserve.

MOG September 4, 2008 at 11:38 am

Face it, after the past 8 years, the bar is so low, even she can jump over it. FYI, stay away from the “making” spell, it always ends badly.

RuperttheBear September 4, 2008 at 11:44 am

NEWSFLAHS!

My mother, a 77 year old woman, stolidly independent (politically), raised five kids, grew up on a wheat farm in the depression, thinks Sarah Palin is “despicable and, clearly, dishonest.”

Can’t wait to see polls in the next week. Who knows what the hell is happening?

nbawriter September 4, 2008 at 11:50 am

If being a hockey mom makes you capable for high office, then I nominate Bonnie Lindros for Prime Minister of Canada.

JP September 4, 2008 at 11:52 am

Mission almost accomplished.

This fundamentalist, proud-of-her-ignorance, nut job has been a thorn in the side of big oil and the Republican establishment since she went on her wildly popular reformist, ‘throw the corrupt Republican criminals out’ crusade a few years ago. But it will be all over for her very soon. And the Republicans will wallow in a sea of whining about how mean, sexist anti-family, elitist, and unfair the media and the Democrats have been in destroying her, as they snicker into their sleeves.

McCain is not going to win them the white house, but at least his campaign has accomplished something worthwhile for big oil and big money Republicans in its elective failure, while fooling the fundamentalist base, yet again, into thinking that Republican leaders really care about and respect them.

The bitch will be gone! This is real, stranger than fiction political power strategy in action, yet I predict you will not see a single media talking head even consider that the downfall of Sarah Palin has been exactly what was intended when John McCain was told to nominated her. The media cannot bring themselves to think, even for a moment, that politics could ever be this devious (they know that John McCain certainly isn’t) and that a candidate or a party might do something not to help them win the current election, but for other, more sinister longer term purposes.

I stand in awe of Snidely Rove.

lilblackcorvette September 4, 2008 at 11:58 am

[re=83936]Servo[/re]: from ” top ten things not to do while in a horror movie”

1. read a summoning spell out loud, even just for fun…….

jerryw September 4, 2008 at 12:02 pm

[re=83846]RuperttheBear[/re]: Yeah, like there’s a difference?

RuperttheBear September 4, 2008 at 12:06 pm

[re=83994]jerryw[/re]: Yesh. The answer is “Liars shouldn’t be put to the torch.”

njdon September 4, 2008 at 12:08 pm

[re=83920]Serolf Divad[/re]: right, there are so many ways mccain can die. its almost like the number of ways a runner on third base with no one out can score. a very good chance of scoring.

1. like president william h. harrison — a cold in 1841? i remember it well.
2. being shot like abe lincoln.
3. harding had a heart attack.
4. roosevelt just …ummm.. crapped out.
4. or incompetency like wilson.
4. many other old age problems could do him in.

you just can’t make this stuff (mccain/palin ticket) up.

trondant September 4, 2008 at 12:32 pm

What if Walnuts knows he’s going to kick the bucket early next year, and chose her just for that reason? I’d like to think she’d be impeached quickly for incompetence, but, you know…

If she got to the oval office, who the hell would she pick as her vp? The local Sno-Cat dealer?

Miller September 4, 2008 at 1:17 pm

There aren’t any black people in the Republican party anymore? Jeez, a guy goes to sleep in 1950 and the whole world up and changes on him. Tell me Howdy Doody is still on.

http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

MISTAHCOUGHDROP September 4, 2008 at 1:31 pm

Wowza, a bonifide maverick or a genuine horse’s ass?

You decide: http://storefrontwindows.blogspot.com/

PentagonBookkeeper September 4, 2008 at 3:11 pm

Is it too late for Obama to change his VP choice from Biden to Garrison Keillor? My heart is aching…I can’t bear to hear one more former truth teller on MSNBC, pretend to be overwhelmed by Palin’s pretend reformer, maverick, superstardom. What breath of fresh air from Alaska has deceived the masses with smoke and mirrors? Has some corporate fear of ghosts of imagined misogeny past, cast a spell on my Keith, on our boy wonder Chuck?

This self-righteous, uncomfortable “special needs” demographic has been snatched out of Uncle Teddy’s hands. Palin has pulled the sword out of the Rosetta Stone to learn how to look and sound like Rosanne Barr. I just hope these mesmerized McPalin devotees will vote for Bob Barr, and the PUMA bitters will do the right thing for their girl Hilz. And Keith, if you’re out there, please unleash your moose in the cabbage that is Palin’s head.

dwarf74 September 4, 2008 at 4:27 pm

Would it be sexist to wonder, re: Bristol Palin, if those were real, as opposed to stagecraft to maybe draw attention away from her belly?

I mean, if so, it worked. Good on them.

multipleARCOMS September 8, 2008 at 12:56 pm

[re=83854]Servo[/re]: Thank you – that’s a story that even Republicans need to be worried about. She would have a hard time snuggling up to the Saudis.

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