Wonkette
OUR ASSESSMENT: Sarah Palin is a shitty version of Ann Richards, who stomped out to make snide remarks about Republicans, and then lost. UPDATE: David Gergen just said basically the same thing on CNN.
PIT BULL IN LIPSTICK
Palin Was For It Before She Was Against It!
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Actually, Ann’s “snide remarks” at the convention are what got her elected Governor of Texas. She was treasurer when she made them. She lost four years later when Karl Rove convinced everyone she was Molly Ivin’s dyke lover.
Amazing show on Sarah’s part, if it wasn’t for the few shots from behind where you could see the teleprompter screens with the exact words she was saying as she was speaking, you’d think they were her own words.
And at the very end when she and geezer walked off stage, he waved goodbye with his right hand, a hand that went way over his head as he wasn’t supposed to be able to do, so we may have seen the first example of the miracles that being near to Sarah can make happen.
Somehow I missed seeing or hearing about George Bush or Dick Cheney, it’s almost like no one wanted to be associated with him or the last 8 years. The 8 years were mentioned many many times, usually in the context of how bad the Democrats screwed up.
By the way, Ann Richards was sunk by Karl Rove working on behalf of the transient Texan named George something or other. See below for details on his slime existence
http://boskolives.wordpress.com/2008/03/06/im-going-way-out-on-a-limb-here-but/
Sarah Palin is a shitty version of a human being.
She’s Bush in a skirt, only bitchier and with an (even more) annoying accent.
the turpentine floweth
Sarah Palin is the George W. Bush Jr. that the fundamentalists wished he had been.
Calling her a “shitty version of Ann Richards” is giving Palin far too much credit. She’s a shitty version of a sewage treatment plant through which Ann Richards’ shit once flowed.
Spence: Well, sure, if you want to be all HISTORICAL about it. Still, poor old Ann did lose, forever.
EnBuenOra: She’s also a bitch.
Viva la Cynthia: the George W Bush Sewage Plant.
I knew Ann Richards and you, Sarah, are no Ann Richards.*
By “knew” I obviously mean loved her from my seat in the third grade, but whatev. The sentiment stands.
Wants to teach Cretinism. Is she pregnant again already?
Sarah = White Condi.
You know who that speech reminded me of? Barbara Fuckin’ Bush.
Why is she acting like it’s a good thing that she sold the governor’s private plane and fired the governor’s personal chef? I don’t really think it’s a good idea to talk about how you eliminated jobs in this economy.
Hold on a second, wasn’t David Gergen an adviser to four presidents? I really feel like CNN should make this known, I don’t know, every time they introduce him.
I hope that she gets to be the new Bill O’Reiley. You know, instead of VP.
missworst: I think I was in fourth grade in Texas when I realized I loved Ann Richards–but that’s close enough, so rock on!
I wonder what Barack would have done with $27 million in earmarks as a community organizer? Ah, probably just buy a lot of blow.
I got a bit of ridicule for saying you have to attack Palin on the issues. After this speech, I believe it even more. You jab at her everyday hoping she falters, but the core argument against her is that more voters disagree with her stands than are charmed with her life story.
Darehead: Pff, at least Condi has a PhD and taught at Stanford, not just a Bachelors in Journalism from Whatsamatta U.
Fuck her. I hope Biden guts her and plays with her entrails. She started a game she can’t win.
Looking forward to the DNC commercials tomorrow. Bicth shouldn’t lie so much on the record.
Darehead: I never thought I’d defend Condi, but I’ve never known her to be this sarcastic, sneering and downright shitty.
BTW, Colbert’s “John McCain: Her Story” video on right now is absolutely the most magically wonderful thing that I have ever seen in my entire life, without hyperbole.
I think that big story of the night is that Palin and Giuliani wearing the same dress.
SaveMeeJeebus: Hey, Palin minored in Political Science!!! That’s almost as good as a PhD in it, right?!
This is like Coen brothers movie. Hudsuckers Proxy, Fargo, and Raising Arizona rolled into one.
My wife is Hiltard and she watched the speech, now she hates Palin beyond belief:
“She never changes her look. She always looks like a sexy librarian. That’s an easy look. She can only get it right like that , besides that she probably looks like a moose with tits any other way. And her fucking voice and nose twitches, what’s that all about. She’s no god damned Hillary. She’ll make pant suit made of skin from that bitch..blah blah” Swooon.
Ha Ha. You guys are worried.
They just took the whole “feel sorry for this poor bitch” bit off the table. I’ve actually felt sorry for Hillary before. I will NEVER feel anything but cold loathing for this hockey c*nt.
Harmless: That’ll buy you Scarface blow:
What you lookin’ at? You all a bunch of fuckin’ assholes. You know why? You don’t have the guts to be what you wanna be? You need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your fuckin’ fingers and say, “That’s the bad guy.” So… what that make you? Good? You’re not good. You just know how to hide, how to lie. Me, I don’t have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth. Even when I lie. So say good night to the bad guy! Come on. The last time you gonna see a bad guy like this again, let me tell you. Come on. Make way for the bad guy. There’s a bad guy comin’ through! Better get outta his way!
SaveMeeJeebus: Buffy and Hildegard: Hear ya. But I think they’re both puppets reading the lines.
If this chick is the veep-elect when we wake up on Nov. 6, three words: mass ritual suicide. Who’s comin’ with me?
Darehead: Although I hate Rice’s politics, she’s far more intelligent than Sarah Paulin. You’ve got to be a dummy and or neophyte to agree to an insular and angry speech like that. They probably lost millions of votes in 40 short minutes.
grendel: I’ve tried poking my eyes out, but the image
is burned in my brain. Well, maybe if it was a kilt……….
jasonelias: Sadly, those millions of voters probably didn’t watch the speech. All that most voters will hear is is the media slobbering on her buttcrack about what a feisty super-mom she is.
This is why we need to go door to door canvassing voters and telling them about what these evil turds actually stand for.
turdsandwich: I’m getting ready for some delicious moose jerky.
If anyone thinks we are scared of this woman…the only fear i have is that there are enough mouthbreathing hillbilly lunatics out there that will vote this waste of a perfectly good vagina a heartbeat from leading the “free world”
I was watching her rant and rage during the commercial breaks on
“two and a half men”, so now I can get a closer idea of what it must
be like to be manic depressive. Laughed so hard I thought I’d puke,
then puked so hard I have to laugh about it now. Except for the taste
of Republican left over when I burp..
As a woman, I am highly insulted. The Right seems to think if they tossSarah Palin out there I’ll vote for her? She’s hideous, smug, patronizing, and a total bitch. I hate her and I don’t even know her. I’m not just Pro-Obama any more, I’m anti-Palin too. Ugh!
Delicious: absolutely. Get her to state her positions on the issues in her direct and hateful way.
A friend in the media just texted from inside. He said that it was like watching the Orcs from Lord of the Rings, everytime she threw out the red meat. He also said that when she talked about not wanting to please the media, a bunch of delegates started crowding around saying “ya, like you…we’re not taking it from the media no more”. Said it was a scary scene on more than one level.
Please please please Obama fight back hard tomorrow morning…
mookworthjwilson: I just made the mistake of thinking the Republicans would take the high road like the Dems last week. Since they didn’t, fuck them. Let There Be Blood. DrinK McCain’s Ensure.
As Paul Harvey would say, “And now, the rest of the story”….
“Palin said Alaska’s congressional delegation worked hard to obtain funding for the bridge as part of a package deal and that she ‘would not stand in the way of the progress toward that bridge.”
Ketchikan Daily News 9/2006
A year later she abruptly cancelled the funding.
“She didn’t make the announcement here in Ketchikan. She didn’t alert local mayors that she’d made the decision. She didn’t notify Ketchikan’s Representative or Senator, or even the Congressional delegation, apparently, that a decision was made and an announcement was on its way. No, the effective end of three decades of effort towards a bridge was announced in a press release launched – perhaps coincidentally – early in the day to meet the East Coast media deadlines.”
Ketchikan Daily News Editorial, 10/11/07 - on Palin’s abrupt decisions to cancel the bridge funding by sending out a 5am press release to hit East Coast news cycles.
Read more at: http://www.andrewhalcro.com/the_bridge_to_somewhere
If she repeats that Bridge to Nowhere story one more time I will pull my bowels out and hang myself.
Or something similar.
Yay, McCain just officially won the DEMOCRATIC nomination!
What? You think I’m lying? No, really — CNN just told me so!
Native son of Arizona? Ha.
It’s the RNC. Each candidate gets a freebie. Both parties.
Now let’s see Hillary out there spitting fire and Bill oozing contempt.
That is, if they are really on board.
hockeymom:
Yeah, but if you think about it, the Orcs were totally badass.
Tito Puente: Yeah, actually. She scares me more than Cheney because she is more ignorant, and because more RougeCoux out there will find her charming.
Delicious: Funny. I’m expecting the video of her jerking off a moose.
Did I mention she’s a lying whore?
turdsandwich: Uh, no… But does anyone know a nice warm country with good schools and a cheap cost of living?
The other side of the shirt says, “GUESS WHERE I’LL BE ON JANUARY 20TH?”
Somewhere in Chicago:
“Is Obama gonna have to choke a bitch?”
Seriously, if you want to do something productive with your anger: Contact your local Obama ‘08 office. Volunteer to travel to your nearest swing-state if you don’t live in one (campaign organizers will help to pull together transport). Go door to door canvassing voters every weekend you can afford to give up over the next two months. There’s a lot of hard work to be done, but every bit of work you do will help to keep this evil Bush-clone-with-breasts far, far away from the mainland United States.
Olympia Snowe on MSNBC. She is NOT a fan. Too bad McCain didn’t pick her. She’s actually qualified. Snowe basically said Palin didn’t give any specifics on policy and she hopes she’ll do that sometime in the near future. Snap.
Tito Puente: that’s my fear.
mookworthjwilson: Dubya. Elected twice… well, sort of, but close enough.
How dare you compare Ann Richards to this annoying nutjob?
What I don’t get is, why are the republicans so angry? Not the leaders who play everyone like puppets, but the on-the-ground middle to upper class republicans? We torture people, we screw poor people, we have eliminated regulations, and we’re in two wars. They’ve gotten everything they wanted, and the country’s decimated.
Meanwhile, the guy from the party who’s been destroyed is saying how we’re a good nation. And he’s going to lose. I really wish my fiance wasn’t in a 5 year post-grad program, because Europe is the way to go.
Delicious: Definitely need Bill out there to talk to the country folk and Hillary to explain to her fans what McPalin stands for.
MSNBC interviews the crucial MILF vote.
jagorev: Nah, we’ll just snark tonight and assume Obama’s got it in the bag. And then wake up like we did in 2004. Huh?
I just realized something terrifying. Mike Huckabee was the classiest person at the Republican National Convention tonight. Fucking Huckleberry Hound and his painful soap are as classy as the Republican party gets. I don’t even know how to process this information.
I’m watching GIANT on Turner Classic Movies. Not much has changed in Texas politics since this film was made.
I really can’t watch MSM anymore. I’m sooooo depressed. It’s not even fun to snark anymore. It’s just really sad and disgusting. The world will never forgive us for this shit. Nor should they. I truly feel we are all doomed.
I keep writing, then deleting. I’m self editing everything. It’s really time to go walk my dog or something. How did this happen?
No more for me. I don’t have the stomach for it. Sorry guys, It’s been fun, but, for the sake of my sanity, I must turn off the webs and the TV’s.
Keep up the snark. You’re all much stronger and better at it than I can ever be.
Later.
The shirt is covering the one she is wearing that says, “WASILLA, METH CAPITOL OF ALASKA!”
OffTheRecord: Yeah, esp. when you remember he joked about Obama and a gun.
This is what I want to see happen in November, with Obama-Biden as Daniel Plainview and McCain-Palin as Eli
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOZh1DkNC0k
Darehead: I hate to say this but no way. Condi is elitist, oops I mean educated.
If you ever hear her utter the term “open and transparent” about how she wants government in Washington to be, you may safely assume that she has switched to full liar mode. It’s her favorite phrase. It’s code for “if you have a subpoena, that will help me be open; otherwise, fuck off.”
hockeymom: Snow’s on the left edge of the Republican party (i.e. in the middle of the population). She doesn’t energize the base.
Also about your previous comment and the crowd getting ugly — I saw a CNN camera get jostled towards the end of her speech and wondered if it was somebody just wanted to put a shoulder into some media guy, or just an accident. He was on the floor, towards the front I think.
Jingo: Waiting tables at the Wasilla Hustler Club?
That earlier video with the female actor playing Sarah Palin screaming at the John McCain character to “Say My Name John!” turns out to have been underplayed.
Tito Puente: We are worried that she has a heterosexual hairstylist and bad taste. Not only is she a stupid bitch but we have to look at her and have our ears bleed for the next few months….at least until Obama gets elected.
I don’t ever want to hear the words, hockey mom, retarded baby, or wasilla ever again.
Advice from Buchanan: McCain should take her out on the campaign trail and let her speak, but “keep her away from the press.”
Listening to that made me vomit poop. I hope the ghost of Ann Richards is ready for some campaign trail shenanigans.
Agreed, how in Fraking hell can McCain claim to be an Arizonan? Hell, he has spent more time in Ohio than he has AZ in the pst 18 months. Hell, hell, his wife quickly bought a house in another part of the Phx valley just so McCain could run for US House (which has not requirement that you live in the district you represent, but perceptions are important to Johnny-mac).
Obama made his VEEP announcement from his home state…. McCarpetbagger, in Ohio. Yeah, his Arizona ties are so important to him that his ost recent campaign apperance in AZ was at a HIGH SCHOOL assembly where his guest of honor was Daddy Yankee (or was that Dad, he yanked me). I listened to this farce on POTUS08 as it happened. Crowd was polite when McCarpetbagger introduced himself, but it turned into teeny-bopper cream-fest when Johnny introduced the rapper. Johhny-mac really captured the youth vote!! and in two years, some of them will be old enough to vote for him when he runs for re-election to the Senate.
OK, Rachel Maddow just pissed me off. She said that Palin should only talk to the local/small town press because they won’t ask her tough questions.
Newsflash Rachel…it’s been the national press that hasn’t asked the hard questions for the last eight years. Why don’t you clean up your own house, first. I’ve seen small town editorials that have been harder on bush that the white house press corps.
OffTheRecord: Yeah, wow–good observation. That one just squeezed the mind grapes a little too hard for me, too…
I love abortions! Please don’t take them away!
Jingo: No, no! the other side of that shirt says “BRIDGE TO NOWHERE? IN YOUR DREAMS!”
She won’t pee her pants, she will go rabid, foaming at the mouth bull-dog on him, sputtering and spitting our words incoherently. She will look like the vindictive wench folks back in AK have siad she is…..
and we will have tons o’ blog-fodder!
Ann Richards was funny. I wish she and Molly Ivins were still around to snark about this.
Holy shit can I just say that I don’t want “Average Americans” to be prezdint?
I want the smartest, arrogantest asshole with the best ideas to be prezdint. Just so happens I think said asshole is a Democrat, so I’ma gonna vote for him.
Am I wrong here?
PS: Ken, figure out your shitty comment situation or I’m flying to the Inland Empire or whatever suburban hell you extrapolate so much punditry from.
jerryw: Will the moisture on her leg cause her to reflexively get on a plane and fly around for 12 hours???
Folks, eyes on the ball, she also said this today: from the National Review for all the funsters playing at home:
“God and guns never looked better.
And, while we’re at it…the new hair style and more subtle color, and the perfectly classy, upmarket suit, take a natural beauty and maker her look the part. Actually, she looked and sounded better than any Hollywood evocation of a female President or Veep. Bourgeois mainstream women will ultimately, if not immediately, give her another look.”
Looks kinda …elitist. How bout that?
Sarah shits on all you bitches……and you better fucking get used to it.
And one more thing….. stop calling her a pit bull.
that is the biggest insult to my dog.
Be afraid; be very afraid. I’ve been reading Wonkette for a while now, but I’ve never seen this level of real, palpable fear. It’s The Fly and Alien combined: The bitch is back. The masses who elected Bush twice are no different from the Romans who fed Christians to the lions. If this crowd can cheer torture and boo the constitution, boo the Obamas’ moral, respectful and classy family and cheer the new right’s white trash bastards then there is nothing left to do but declare all-out war. The Rovian rejection of reason and its cocomitant elevation of pure, unadulterated propaganda and lies must be stopped. The appeal to the lowest common denominator has finally reached it. We are as low as we can get with this speech. I’m afraid; I’m very afraid.
mookworthjwilson, that is hysterical!
All the while she was speaking, you could tell those were not her words. You could tell that brain in that head was not smart enough to come up with the point by point attack of Obama, which she read off word by word.
She was nauseating… so typical of the republicans and their ‘family values’ disillusion.
The people who adore this woman would rather vote for a frog as president, than for a very qualified black man. Although the frog is slimy, hideous and green, it is not black.
This country, sadly, is populated by so many fucked-up people.
So, other than making sure no uppity Negros get into the White House, why should I vote Republican again?
Undeterredbyreality:
Baghdad delente est, bitches.
Undeterredbyreality: Me, too. This won’t be easy, folks. Her church’s site is off line, her medical records are being scrubbed (supposedly), the AK powerbrokers are going to work overtime now to polish her overall record of accomplishments. And she is thoroughly, ruthlessly corrupt and ambitious. Think of the HR witch who spends all her time making everyone’s life hell. The only way to outgun someone like that is through sheer force. Vote early and often this year, or be prepared for some soul-crushing shit next year (and the next twelve to sixteen after that).
Go here if you are interested in fighting in the war against evil lunatics:
http://action.barackobama.com/page/s/volunteer/
WhatTheHeck: At one point, she said “accolade”, and right away I thought to myself, “There’s no way this woman has ever used the word “accolade” in her entire life.”
I just realized I don’t really care what happens in this election. I live in Massachusetts, so we’ll be fine regardless. Suck it, losers!
Anyone know the size of the surfboards in the pants post-partum?
Ah fkit, I’m off back to muso shows on teh Tubes.
WhatTheHeck: Well, I just gave the very qualified black man some more of my money about 15 minutes ago thanks to Sarah and her Big Speech (TM).
WhatTheHeck: and Amen to your thoughts on the fucked-upness of it all …
KittyKatMan: I love your wife–in the most Platonic, respectful way possible, of course.
Something for people enraged tonight:
http://thecitizens.blogspot.com/2008/09/sarah-palins-big-lie.html
Meir, Gandhi, Thatcher, Chamorro, Harney, Merkel, Rice, Pelosi, Clinton, Palin…
One of these things is not like the other…
One of these things is just not the same…
Gopherit v2.0: Wow, great site. This made me feel a little better, too: http://thecitizens.blogspot.com/2008/09/reassuring-map.html
Sean O: be careful, fellow bay-stater. these people want to line us up and gun us down in droves for jesus.
I hate you, Sarah Palin.
Ken Layne: Richards lost to God, Guns, and Gays. But she never did live down that silver foot in his mouth comment about Dubya’s daddy. Karl Rove saw to that.
I just thank god that she and Ivins aren’t here today having to witness the sheer insanity that is this election.
Just in case you missed Palin’s most egregious lie, the one about “saving taxpayers” a half billion or whatever. Alaska’s only taxpayers are the oil companies who pump through the pipeline. The residents don’t pay any state taxes.
Oh, and that “You’ve got a friend” bit about special needs kids? Biden will undoubtedly shred her to pieces on that one when Palin’s record on child health care and education are looked at.
This is yet another example of how McCain chose without thinking and continues to pretty much fail to look into Palin’s history in office. If he had a clue, he’d know that 40% of her speech was either a fabrication or a misstatement, and the Dems will toast her if they have a brain among them.
Undeterredbyreality: I hear you.
The 3-Legged Man: And did the Repugs not notice that she raised taxes on those large oil companies who are the main sources of income for Alaska? I thought they didn’t like higher taxes on corporations?
*Drinking a toast to Molly Ivins* God, I miss her so much *openly weeping now*
I’ve been thinking about Molly and Ann, too, God rest their souls.
Today I decided to frame Palin’s USWeekly cover and hang it next to my framed Texas Monthly cover with Ann as a motorcycle mama. They’ll be the Goofus and Gallant of up-do’ed political womanhood!
And I wrote to my choir director that it would have been nice to watch the speeches with our (Lutheran) pastor, as they were probably better in the original German.
Sarah Palin makes baby Jesus cry.
oh.my.god. I missed her speech tonight so I’m watching it on youtube right now. I think she eats kittens for breakfast.
Sean O: I hate alarmists, but it really is time to get out of the US if they win. I’m thinking even Mexico would be less dysfunctional, but I’m going to try for Berlin because there’s cheap apartments.
jagorev: I like you……………
Delicious:
Yep, Hillary does need to get out there and make her opinion on the Caribou Barbie crystal clear. If some of her supporters are bitter enough to vote for McCain/Palin out of spite, they need to know that it’s directly opposed to what Hillary would want.
Ken, Ann Richards was SMART and funny as hell. She was slimed by Rove to get dumbass Dubya into office in Texas. There is NO comparison between Ann and Caribou Barbie.
I would be willing to bet that Obama’s donations take a big jump upwards today.
jagorev: Democratica: Yeah, I’m sacrificing my weekend beer money too. Oh , well…..
jagorev: Hey! I’m all excited!!11!! I get a free car magnet! (I’m very easy to please)
Since when did a Downs Syndrome baby become a fashion accessory?
The kid was passed around like a designer handbag. God, I must
get me one today!
Guess you don’t get it. There’s more of us than there are of you. Sen. Obama reads a telepromter very well. It’s when he has to actually think, he sputters. Democrats have had control the past two years. What have they accomplished? Higher gas prices. What do you think higher taxes will get you? Why would any one try to show a profit if it will be taxed? You say you want change. Everyone knows that four more years of that wonderful weak kneed president ‘Jimmy Carter’ would do wonders for the U.S. There’s a reason the founding fathers created a voting system not based on popular vote. The liberal population centers would control and since when has Socialism been considered the better form of government? We may not be what we ought be but we are a lot better than the alternatives.
rightofmiddle: OK, this I’ve got to hear. Please explain, using simple step-by-step causal relationships for us stupid libruls, how the Dems in Congress have caused gas prices to go up over the past two years.
Failure to do so will be construed as proof that you are a mouth-breathing retard, so get cracking.
She’s GW with tits. Dopey accent (except its real), the I believe in life except for animals and Arabs which are ok to gun down from planes, she is spoiled and always used to getting her way (watch out if you do get in her way), and is some one who you could really sit down and have a beer with (or smoke a J, do some lines.) Middle America will love her. Yay! four more years.
Finally! A Republican who thinks Al Gore won the 2000 election.
edgydrifter:
* crickets *
I listen to the same retards you do, only on a different station. If we were after Iraqi oil, why don’t we have it. But then that does not answer your question now, does it? All I’m saying is, the Democrats promised all these actions that would happen when they gained control of Congress two years ago and all they have done is denigrate the U.S., George Bush, and how we’ve failed in Iraq. No matter if you agree or disagree with our being in Iraq, once there, we cannot leave as we did in Viet Nam. Also, since you left wingers are so bright and quick to condemn how stupid and ignorant us right-wingers are, couldn’t you come up with a better word than retard? I’m sure you went to Princeton or Harvard. That’s a much better education than a state university. Yet that’s what BHO wants to promise every student, a college education. Personally, I would like to know how he got into Harvard? Was it his brains, connections, or affirmative action? Did he keep you from getting into an Ivy League school?
rightofmiddle: Um, you didn’t answer the question. Ergo, mouth-breather. Did he ask about Iraq? No. Did he ask what was promised and what was achieved? No. He asked how the Democrats have pushed up gas prices. Go ahead- we’re waiting.
Exactly what do you mean by mouth-breather? I thought everyone breathed in or out an orifice or two. Wonder if you snore. No, you are probably perfect. Since taxes are only 19% of the cost of our gas, I guess you both are correct. Right now $3.20/gal is a lot better than $4.00/gal. I doubt that it will ever go lower. Hope you two are happy that the greatest nation on earth cannot even access its own assets. I like a good conspiracy theory. Tell me yours. I suppose there are not any Democrats profiting from the war or the high cost of gas. Look, this retard can also cut and paste. Go figure.
“Could a gasoline boycott force gas prices down even if oil prices stayed high? Probably not by much. That’s because the other elements of gas prices would take a long time to change. Taxes, which comprise 19% of gas prices, would require legislative approval, which could take months. Refinery costs (also 19%) couldn’t be lowered, and neither could distribution costs (9%), both of which are fixed.” (Source: EIA, A Primer on Gas Prices)